Dear Buster, I do get where you are coming from on this. As women we spend our lives being told how we should look and all of us are touched by this! I never had a reconstruction after mastectomy and in some ways that was easier, just using a prosthesis. But last year my cancer returned and I started chemo, lost all my hair and loads of weight. I felt and looked grim and frankly thought I must be repulsive! My husband was scared to hurt me and so was physically reserved too. But the situation has changed with time; I feel much better as my treatment is working, hair is back and normal life has resumed! If I were you I would continue to investigate the possibility of a reconstruction, but perhaps also be a bit kinder to yourself! SBC is hard to deal with, but we are expected just to get on with it. It might be worth contacting MacMillan for counselling support so you can work through some of your feelings too. Mary
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