@Mel1978 oh goodness! That is a long wait, well done for getting through that, I completely understand the constant angst about it spreading. Still worrying about that myself even though I’m now in treatment. I definitely remember the “it doesn’t work like that” conversation!! So far since meeting oncology things seem to have sped up immensely and that dreaded hanging around now has a definite target. As for work I’m trying to walk that line at the moment. I’m able to work from home which helps (upside of pandemic) but it is taking each day one at a time. Yesterday (day 6) I managed a full work day but Friday (day 3) I had to take off due to crashing fatigue. Keeping a diary to help plan for the next cycle. I found talking to my HR person and boss very positive, told them my objective was to work because it’d stop me sitting around in an anxiety well and they’ve been super supportive. My oncologist says plenty of people carry on working but it is all down to what symptoms you get, your job and how you feel. I’d suggest making friends with your nearest pharmacy and find out if they have any delivery services you can take advantage of. So far I’ve had to send my husband there 3-4 times in the space of a week for stuff to help. As for a stellar example of coping/not coping: Today for me has mostly been a snotty mess. I woke up with a terrible sore throat and mouth and called my team. Sobbed on the phone at them for wasting their time was told it was the right thing to do then sobbed more about being so silly to start crying. Agonised over whether to wear scarf to my first meeting of the day since my hair is a greasy miserable mess and my scalp is itching madly. But the person I was meeting doesn’t know and I haven’t publicly outed myself with cancer yet. Held my nerve with the scarf till I was about to turn on webcam and took it back off. Spent whole meeting thinking I was going to throw up and just blindly nodded through. Hung up and burst back into tears. Managed an anti nausea tablet and couple of ginger biscuits. Treatment team called back to say they’d decided to prescribe me mouthwash and the GP would call me about the prescription. Put phone down on them and was instantly called by a GP nurse asking where to send prescription. Turns out no pharmacy in our town stocks the stuff so had to get one to order it. Ate some lunch and had another little cry about everything being awful today which triggered a small nosebleed. Husband is utterly shell shocked and 7 year old keeps giving me toys to hug. After some lunch and some quiet time away from everything feeling a bit better and beginning to see the funny side of things. So it really is one day or hour at a time. It is okay to go through bits of not coping.
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