Hi Lacewing Yiu know, that crying may have been therapeutic. A breast cancer diagnosis can create an emotional maelstrom and it’s better out than in, speaking as an ‘in’ person. The only time I’ve cried was when I was told it was cancer after being told there was nothing to worry about. I remember saying ‘f***’ when the surgeon told me the biopsy results. The rest was a blur. Then I went to a private room with my chauffeur friend and briefly cried on her shoulder. I’ve been through the full works and now have secondary cancer within 18 months of finishing treatment and I haven’t shed a tear. I wish I could. You’ll find there are times when you despair, times when your imagination goes into overload (please don’t go near Google), times when you accept, times when you’re angry but have no one to direct it to because this is no one’s fault. Just go with the flow and turn to sources of support like your breast care nurse who should be supportive and nurturing, the nurses at the number above ( I wouldn’t have got my secondary diagnosis and started treatment (going well) without them), people on the forum and organisations like Maggie’s, Macmillan and, if it reopens, Breast Cancer Haven among others. There’s a lot of support out there. Ive found tuning into videos on YouTube very helpful. After I’ve taken my chemo tablets, on go the headphones and I drift away to Progressive Hypnosis’s videos on anxiety, healing, sleep, whatever. Once you know your treatment regime, things will settle down emotionally but, think about it, you’d have to be stone not to be upset at the moment. So don’t judge yourself, focus on doing what has to be done now, stay in the moment if you can. It’s all manageable and you ask for help when it feels unmanageable. Take good care of yourself, Jan x
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