Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi, I wonder if anyone could give me some advice on how to move forward. In January 2021 I saw a rash on my breast. On examination I could feel thickening and there was a pucker. I knew instantly it was cancer, but did wonder if the rash was an infection. I drove myself down to A&E, and was booked into the breast clinic the next day, had lots of scans etc. Surgeon looked at results that evening. Three days later, I had biopsy, was told it was cancer. PICC line the next week, 5 months of chemo, mastectomy. It was in 4 lymph nodes. I had complete chemo response in breast and partial response in lymph nodes (they had shrunk to very tiny). I am a mum and I can’t forgive myself for getting me to my cancer stage. I relied too much on the routine mammograms. I didn’t check myself. I accept that it wasn’t my fault I got cancer, but it was my fault that it got to that stage. What kind of a mother am I? If I end up stage 4 and die from this, I will go to my grave torturing myself, because thats what I did for my son. Granted, I acted instantly on finding it (surgeon and nurse reckon I shaved about 4 weeks off of the start of treatment than if I had gone to through GP route, and I accepted extra scans post mastectomy (you don’t routinely get offered them if 3 nodes affected I was told by nurse), and I also consented to extra radiotherapy to sternum following good trial results from the USA - again not routine in UK for 4 lymph nodes. So I am trying to make up for my shortfalls. I’m also worrying far too much about recurrence - it is taking over my life and spoiling the good times - although no one knows this … I hide it very well. I have had counselling, and it was excellent and worked for about 8 weeks, but my head eventually took over that. I’m sure Im not the only one to have this guilt and fear. As I say, any advice would be gratefully received. Thank you for reading. ... View more

Hi all, after 18 weeks of chemotherapy. I had a mastectomy on 24 June with axillary clearance. Before starting three weeks of radiotherapy, I had a CT scan (presumably of whole body or perhaps the torso - I was terrified so didn't ask many questions). They saw a tiny collection of blood vessels on the spine, so I had to have an MRI.  Radiotherapy to the chest wall, axillary and collarbone area finished 14 September. Two days after, I had a bone scan (which took ages) and this was clear of metastasis. Shortly after radiotherapy, in September. I developed lymphodoema in chest wall, axillary area, and the flank round the back of the armpit. It goes up and down, but the tightness in the armpit and across the chest wall can be very noticeable. Stupidly, and for about a week I stopped doing the exercises regularly. Just before Christmas, I noticed a mild ache in collarbone area. Not everyday, and not when resting or asleep. This became diffuse, my shoulder aches, back of shoulder, back of neck, sometimes top of arm. It comes and goes, disappears on exercise and resting on the bed. But some days it can be a drag. It's a bit like the discomfort I used to get when I had a bag on my shoulder for too long - but I can't use that shoulder now. Has anyone else experienced this? Whist it seems to be getting less bothersome since upping the exercises, I'm terrified that it's mets or a recurrence, especially as a small area between just along from my neck and between my collar bone seems a little bit puffy compared to the other side. However, my chest wall and armpit has been puffy for months.  Ive contacted my doctor for an appointment, but wonder if this is something to expect after surgery / radio, etc.  thank you!! ... View more