Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hello Jan, Thanks for getting back to me again, especially as it’s essentially the same issue. Last time you (and others) responded to my request for support/howl of pain, I did move on. I started seeing a counsellor, have been slowly building up my strength ready for surgery, spending time with friends, going out more at quiet times of the day, writing my will (long overdue) and thinking about my funeral. However, I find myself back in the field with the bull. I keep wondering if there are any more bulls in this field. I won’t find out until I get my pathology report following surgery and a sentinel lymph node biopsy. This is what my surgeon and a couple of BCNs have already told me. I can’t stop my fear/imagination from running away with me. - and of course, I’m interested in others’ experiences, acknowledging that they’re going to be different from my own. I have learnt this much since I was diagnosed last August. I also need to start taking Letrazole and reading about potential SE have been terrifying me. I’m often roller coasting through each of the camps you mention, and several others besides. My real challenge is to learn to live with the unknown, to get comfortable with not knowing. Thank you for being patient with me.  Hope you’re doing ok with your own struggles. Margot x ... View more

Thanks for taking the time to respond @blondegirl. Thanks also for reminding me that I’m lucky to have all this treatment for free on the NHS. I’m also lucky to receive my care from the Christie hospital in Manchester. It’s good to know that your daughter responded well to Kadcyla. I really hope she continues to respond well to the treatment. All for now, M ... View more

Hello TeeCass, Yes, I think pCR means that it disappears completely but I couldn’t say for certain. I’ve found the nurses’ helpline number really helpful if you want clarification. I’m not sure where you’re up to in your treatment cycle but I’m really hoping you have a complete response. Fingers crossed. All the best, M ... View more

Hello Jan, Many thanks for taking the time to respond. I enjoy reading your posts. You always seem to be able to find hope, even in the most challenging situations. I also try to follow Oscar Wilde’s mantra that ‘we’re all in the gutter, only some of us are looking at the stars’. Sometimes, especially when I receive unexpected bad news, I become extremely anxious. I guess that’s normal. Unfortunately, I go on a huge emotional roller coaster which is exhausting. Several days on and I feel I have regained some equanimity. I get knocked down but I get up again. It’s what we all do, until we don’t.  I contacted my breast care nurse and we had a lengthy conversation about my concerns. She reassured me that I have taken the right decision to have a lumpectomy. I was always a contender for this procedure btw even before chemotherapy. The surgeon will remove the tumour bed at its original size. Fingers crossed they achieve clear margins. I have always been worried about the pathology report following surgery and sentinel lymph node biopsy but my anxiety is now exacerbated owing to my incomplete pathological response. And so it goes on. I hoped I would be someone who followed the standard/minimum treatment pathway. Sadly, that’s not to be for me. I’m so upset I have to have more chemo/ Kadcyla. That’s hard.   Wishing you all the very best, Jan, for your own struggle. Margot xx ... View more

Thank you so much, Kay, for your quick response to my worries. That’s really reassuring and makes sense. I think the biggest challenge with bc appears, for me at least, to be psychological. Have a lovely day, and thanks again for taking the time to respond. Margot ... View more

Hello,  I’m new to this site and have been reading through this thread with great interest and trepidation.  Just wondering how your mum, and you, are doing? Sending love and best wishes. ... View more