Breast Cancer Now Forum

hi dot i hope you have a lovely time abroad i so wish it was me that was going. when is it you fly out? xx hi ostrich how are you feel ing today? hope you are well xx ... View more

hi ostrich i think you are right it was perhaps too soon after kimo and it has taken a lot out of you. it sounds as though yous made the most of it. are you feeling better today? your ring sounds lovely and im delighted you could taste the lovely food. hope your well love lainey xx ... View more

Dot thats the kind of luck i have. i have been in that position before aswell. our work if there are any errors can write out a personal cheque thankfully its never came to me needing them to do that but its good its there.. im an idiot when i 1st read your post i was reading OH as occ health for some stupid reason and thought that was nice of occ health letting you stress at them but didnt understand when you said about loving him??? oh dear i need a vodka and brain cells. i hope you have the best time ever when away as you so deserve it and more. im sure you will. just go away and make the most of every minute. when you come back i will be on theatre table prob having the best sleep in months lol. we arent going abroad this year although i could do with a holiday i want a new kitchen more so i will do that instead and may get a week somewhere near home. scared to plan just incase. anyway i had a review with work yesterday and the tears as expected flowed well poured at 1 point union rep reminded me to breath i was sobbing so hard as i was asked what my op entails???? told them i have told them this b4 but they said it wasnt written down and they want to know so they can work out roughly when i will be back. i told them i will return when im 100% fit authorised by my consultant. found explaining the op very difficult. They said if i sign off b4 op i will be deemed incapable of work and my pay will be reduced and i will get disciplined on return,no annual leave availability,no unpaid leave availability. what they can authorise is my working this thurs and sat in place of next week so that would mean i work. thurs 10-6,fri 10-6,sat 7-6.30pm,sun 7-6.30pm. then off till after op so thats 9-10 days off. certainly not ideal but im backed into a corner so going to keep myself right and do it. hubby is furious with them. im just too tired and emotionally drained and unfit to argue love lainey xxx ... View more

Lisa thats where i struggle as im preventing something i may never get. there is something odd about walking into a hospital well and leaving unwell. regarding sizes i left that to my surgeon to tell me what was right for my frame. now im a 36jj/k ( HUGE) but im only 5ft2 and quite slim so im going for a c/d. Lisa how do you feel about all this now you know you carry the gene? how are you coping with meno? i havent been able to have hrt yet until 6 weeks after this op so i have been going it alone which isnt nice. no matter what though i dont regret it love lainey xx Nikki its so nice to hear positive replies as im so scared. my aunt had the same op about 7/8 months ago and was left with 1 breast as the other didnt take and that made me worse. but they think mines will be okay as im a lot younger than her,havent smoked and generally good health. i hope you continue to make good progress. love lainey xx ... View more

HI,I do remember you from b4 how are you getting on? i am so terrified i cant put it into words xx ... View more

Ostrich we had an amazing rep but she left a few weeks ago due to family bereavement. the other guy is as useful as a chocolate fireplace. i have left messages for him to get back to me and no luck. going to call unison headquarters today. i def want to speak to them about it prior to meeting. hubby has cried on a number of occassions about this and has great friends i know he speaks to about it. i cant imagine how he must feel as if he was undergoing a huge op i would be terrified. lots of tlc needed for him over the next few weeks also i think. its easy to forget they are suffering too. love lainey xx ... View more

ostrich i hope you have a lovely time away i so wish it was me, dot thats great your time back at work went well i think when people say hi asthough you have never been away is because they are stuck for what to say. we know that doesnt help however i felt very uncomfy a few years ago with a friend who was diagnosed at 27yrs old with cancer. i honestly didnt know what to say so i rudely said hi and walked on i did sit and think about what to say and went back to her and gave her a hug.i exp i felt strange. i hate admitting that but i did. my aunt has been to a few of those classes dot and got freebies last year. well my work called to day to say im getting an absence review tomorrow at 2pm to discuss my next absence so i have called the union as i do need the review and it will be my chance to tell high management how i feel. definately taking the kleenex. unsupportive arses. anyway away from BG i am getting a whole lot better. the medication is working well. only prob is for the past 2 nights i have woke up and lie there crying and cant get back to sleep. i was at the computer at 4 am looking at my operation date on paper. i dont know why i continue to punish myself.I know im struggling and yesterday i was irate for nothing hubby wound me up so much i really wanted to go off on 1 at him. when i say wound me up he done nothing except listen to me. what else can he do? i dont know what i expect but its asif i expect him to take it all away. i now feel shit that i acted this way. what a vicious circle. family are annoying me also as they believe by not speaking about my fears it will go away. sorry ladies 1 of those blooming familiar days again. 1 positive is i will be given hrt afterthey test my bits for cancer cant even say the word. that will help me as menopause stinks. love lainey xx ... View more

hi ostrich thats great they got the vein 1st time, is it only 1 more kimo session left? Peoples noses were prob bothering them when you got into the police car. i hope you start to feel better soon. when i was at docs yesterday he asked if i work when i said i do he asked if i was still working now i told him hols have been refused and he said a lot of managers are jobs worths and if it was him he would be signing himself off. he said technically i am ill just now with this chest infection but if i was well i should still sign off as i have to take loads of rest where possible to prepare the body for such a huge op. i will be under for around 16 hours. i think he wanted me to ask for a sick note and i actually believe he felt sorry for me. but miss independant here didnt.he has given me food for thought as he also said since i will be off for months after the op a few weeks prior to it would not make a difference. i dont feel as bunged up today but am going to stay indoors now to try and get better. i have upted all the vitamins. love lainey xxxx ... View more

Hi Ladies what is undignified is others being nasty about her, she doesnt nor does anyone else need that rubbish. i wonder how these same said people would deal with it. love lainey xx ... View more

ostrich its only natural you will put on weight given what they put into your body. also i think as soon as we stop working it goes on. you are nearly there honey x dot i hope you got on well today but i bet it was difficult x jenny how are you? x well i got a call from hospital today saying im getting admitted on 11th feb and op on 12th almost 3 weeks early. went into panic but i have arranged to meet my bcn etc on 04th or 5th cant remember. im so scared now. went to doc today as im gradually getting worse and i got antibiotics and a nasal spray thing. he took my blood pressure and confirmed infection is in my chest. but he said i should feel better by the end of the week. yipee xxx ... View more

hi dot, they dont deserve me. its strange though as i am so aware life is too short to put up with shit yet i let them get to me. glad you are feeling more hopeful about tomorrow but just dont put too much stress onto yourself. its so not worth it. thats ideal having a class straight after work utter bliss. well im going back to bed i have been there all day to try and help shift this sordid virus. crazy how when the body is run down its illness after illness. i will be thinking of you tomorrow. lots of love lainey xxx ... View more

i know ostrich as i was in tears this morning purely because i had to face work today. im really unwell too as i have a stupid virus im sure its that 1 everyone was getting around xmas. had to work through it today too.going to have a lemsip and early night as this 12hr shift on a sun knackers me. speak soon. love lainey xx ... View more

yes ostrich im going to go to work as near op as i can then get signed off perhaps a week or 2 b4 because i am an emotional wreck.xx ... View more

i think she could fit a bus up there, i felt like head butting her as she always plays it down. she even commented she was surprised i had requested annual leave as i only work 2 days a week. i start to question myself if i should need time off but i do i dont want to be there just now. if they treated me better i would still want a little time of. i dont want to sit in amongst collegues the weekend b4 speaking to customers. im totally against a rock and a hard place. xx ... View more

hi ostrich, i have thought that of them on many occassions. in my op they use my tummy muscle,fat,skin and tissue. they then use net in my tummy to prevent hernias etc. i will be recovering for a while with the tummy scar and 2 breasts. my manager asked if she can call the hospitall only once a week for an update??????? ostrich i know they are being ridiculous as i think they want me to leave. love lainey xx ... View more

hi ostrich its so nice to have you back, it sounds as though you had a great time although im the same i wouldnt have wanted to be away from home too long either. i remember my father in law went away to a place much as you have described as he slid and pulled ligaments on his leg resulting in an op. he said he was treated amazing.good to know there are still employers that look after there staff. thats amazing how much you have came on but rubbish advice from BCN. thats typical though isnt it? was your daughter glad to have you home again i bet she missed you like mad.xx im just the same unfortunately i have not had a tear free day since date was confirmed. i done the stupid thing of looking my recon operation up online== big mistake..ita a free tram flap i am having and i felt sick. anyway my days are more worse thanks to British Gas as i applied for the weekend b4 op off as i cant be bothered putting a face on for others just now and i will be worse nearer the time. they have refused saying there is no availability and i need to be there or my absence stage will go to a 3 which means bye bye lainey. they told me that yest and i burst into tears. so i do a 8hr shift fri,12hr sun booked in wed and op thurs. must remember my thank you card to them tomorrow..love lainey xx ... View more

Hi dot, it will be a huge step with you going back to work but take it easy.i think im doing okay i still cry everyday but then thats just the realisation i think. i am speaking to a girl who has had it done tonight. not sure if it will make me worse but prepared to try anything. im just run down with it all just now. doesnt help i have mammogram in a few weeks either. tried getting out of it but they are having none of it. i think i feel quite lonely just now. surrounded by love but still lonely. and a sense of fearfullness. just trying to let everyday pass and see what tomorrow brings. i def need a boot up the backside. love lainey xx ... View more

helen you are so right, mine is breast and ovarian and brain tumours lainey xx ... View more

suzy this must be so hard for you. i have brca2 and was glad they found fault not glad i have it but because there was cancer on my dad's mum and dad's side i was scared it would test negative for brca2 then there were no living relatives on grans side. i would have been all over the place. i have had my ovaries out and am now menopausal at 32yrs however it's a small price to pay. i will have bi-lateral mastectomy in 6 weeks. please keep us updated . lainey x ... View more