Young or old, we still all go through the the emotional roller coaster, we think about the implications, we fear the uncertainty & we go on regardless.
I lost my Auntie (dad's sister) to leukemia at 32, i was 19, my dad donated bone marrow to her but sadly this did not work, she left behind a husband & two boys 6 & 8. My dad was dx with wide spread cancer the year after, he died age 47, my mum was dx with wide spread cancer '05 she died age 55 yrs. I was dx age 29 & 38 yrs, the first time my children were aged 18 months & 4 yrs, since the age of 15 i have watched 6 members of my family die of the big C. For me personally, my dad never walked me down the isle on my wedding day, he's never seen his grand children, there was no one for my then 17 yr old brother to turn to, he never got to fulfill his dreams. My auntie never got to watch her children grow up & marry, have children, i have watched them grow into wonderful adults, but they still talk about their mum with sad loss & i see the hurt in their faces. My mum never got to see me go to uni at 36!, she's missing out on her grandchildren & my daughter is extremely protective of my mum's memory, coming with me to take flowers to their grave. When i was first dx my son was 4, from that point on it changed his life, as i struggled to go through treatment with two young children, he missed out on going out because i was sick & i was always tired, he remembers what i was like. This time when i was dx my children are older 10 & 12, but it has altered their lives, they have cried in my arms, got angry, watched me lose my hair & feel ill, for them this must have been very distressing. I have just been to genetics, haven't got the results yet, but have been told my daughter will be screened from her early 20's which is good, but i have i inflicted this on her, has she got to start worrying that early, it is sad. I am glad to say i have had 8 yrs between dx's which i thought i would never have, i hope i have many more yrs, but the uncertainty remains. Age i feel makes no difference to how we feel when dx with bc, we just all have different issues to face, for me my main issue is those around me & how they cope with my dx & how that changes their life.
Louise xx
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