Breast Cancer Now Forum

Cherub, here's your sister! It's no joke is it? Supposed to be in our prime and they expect us to hang up our thongs and get out our knitting (metaphorically speaking, actually I hate thongs)- I think you need to change your doctor or tell this one to cop on! ... View more

I'm sorry to hear BC is back, but I hope the treatment is working. Like you, I was prescribed Replens but a BC friend thought even a tin of Swarfega woudn't salve the pain on penetration so something more is often required. I found this to be Ovestin, a hormonal cream available on prescription. As it's topical I hope the risk is minimal but that's no help to you if they won't let you have anything hormonal. I do think 'marriage maintenance' is almost impossible without sex and hey, it's fun for us too so I would insist they address the problem! ... View more

I was dx Nov 2005 with DCIS, after WLE it was found to be widespread and high grade so I had skin sparing mx (lost the nipple) with immediate recon in Jan 2006. Sentinal node biopsy found some micro-mets so I had chemo and then a year of Herceptin as the path results found the mets to be Her2+++. In the meantime I had a nipple recon (they called it 'skin origami') and reduction to the other side. That sounds like a lot of treatment. It was, but I'm well now and happy with the results. I had very large breasts too so it is a kind of bonus to have 34DDs which are up where they should be, instead of around my waist though I'm in my late 40s. I would say the surgery was the easiest part, so if you get away without chemo you're doing well. Yes, the fear is still there, I've seen two close relatives die of cancer since, but fear has to be put on one side in the interests of sanity and having any kind of life. I have tended to trust the advice of doctors and surgeons simply because they're professionals who know a lot more about cancer than I do. It'll take time, but you'll be alright. ... View more

It's my daughter's 18th birthday on Monday, or I'd be there. I hope there's a chance that Jane's last wish comes true. My family begins screening at UCH soon so for my kids' sake as well many other young women, I'll drink to that! ... View more

Ah god no, not Deirdre, Such a likeable and generous woman, her poor family! ... View more

In spite of how Jane often wrote about facing her own mortality, it's a shock to learn that death has finally overtaken her. Her judicious complaints in the teeth of this terrible disease have defined these forums for me. I enjoyed her company the few times we met - once to view a photography exhibition of dying and dead people after which we had a cheerful lunch in the sunshine. I will remember her for her courage, honesty and rationality in circumstances which presented a constant challenge to these principles. My sincere condolences to her partner who must be devastated. ... View more

Good to hear that the skin mets are under control Jackie, I hope the reduction (they did mine in day surgery) works out for you even if you can't have the recon. I'm chagrined to say the PGCE only taught me one thing, that I'm not cut out to be a teacher, particularly since I hear you're back working full time in spite of continuing treatment - fair play and more power to you, I could use some of your go wherever you get it from. My son is also Year 11, though you'd never tell by his laid back attitude. Daughter is doing A levels and wrestling with her UCAS form. They'll soon be off our hands! ... View more

How'rya Jackie! I remember our chats 🙂 I hope you're well too, any news? ... View more

Yes, I've had more fun too, you should try it! I just finished Jhumpa Lahiri's 'Unaccustomed Earth', a collection of stories about Bengali immigrants but chiefly also about loss. The stories in Part II are linked by the illness and death of a woman with bc and the devastating impact this has on her son. She has a very sparse, American style of writing which I appreciate, the characters really lived for me while I read it. Wendy gave it to me to read just before she died so perhaps that made it more poignant. Thanks for the Bathsheba reference Dahlia, I'll look out for that one. ... View more

Long, lost, missed? Save that kind of talk for the breast, I'm still here celeste! I sent you my copy, so your review please... Dahlia, why not post your review on Amazon? This kind of literature is all about personal response and yours is as good as any I would think. ... View more

Hello Belinda 🙂 I've often read your informative posts since my own dx in 2005 but sorry to say I didn't know Ally in Cornwall. I'm drawn to books about grief since I lost a number of close family members to cancer, so thanks for the reference. I think you'll enjoy this book for it's humour and exasperation as well as for it's humanity. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother. Gabriel's own mother also died of ovarian cancer and although the feelings she expresses are very raw, I was relieved to read her honest account of the struggle it was to cope. ... View more

Hey Jane, Daphne and all I haven't 'met' before, I'm glad to find you relatively well and still active on these boards. I just came on to post the spiked article but I see you're all way ahead of me. I was interested that Prof Baum thinks even IDC could be left alone because cancer cells do not follow mathematical models of progression. I too have a great deal of respect for his position on screening and I'm a big fan of spiked online so I'm thrilled you all like it. My presentation was symptomatic (bloody discharge from the nipple) but I have to wonder if even the few escaping metastatic Her2+++ cells from my IDC found in a sentinal node biopsy which earned me chemo after mastectomy and then a year's Herceptin really warranted this barrage but feel much less qualified to make such decisions than my surgeon and oncologist so must be content. The spiked link for anyone interested in following it up is http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php?/site/article/6563/ Very best wishes to new posters and old friends. ... View more

A lovely, generous woman, so sorry to hear Kate has gone after such a long and sometimes terrifyingly difficult struggle to keep going no matter what - Kate, I salute you! ... View more

I'm three years on since LD flap reconstuction with implant and I had nipple recon and reduction on the other side some months later. I can still jump the reconstructed breast around at will, but I'm totally accustomed to it and don't even notice when it tightens of it's own accord, when I'm working that arm for instance. I too had a bulge under that arm but it doesn't seem so big now, perhaps it's smaller or maybe I'm just used to that too, I can't say for sure. As you said yourself, time really does make a difference to one's perception of these things. I wish you a speedy recovery and hope any further 'tidy up' surgery is as problem free as mine was. It's a lot to go through and you've done well to get over the worst. The very best of luck to you and other LD flappers on this thread 🙂 ... View more

Hey Kate, Long time since I logged on, just catching up on your blog and wanting to send my best to you. ... View more

....and that's why my admiration for women like you, Louise, knows no bounds because cancer keeps knocking you down but you keep on getting up, getting on with life and even finding the energy to worry about how it affects those around you. I have lost cousins - women my age and younger with small children - and my brother to cancer and often asked them, through the awful treatment they endured (much worse than mine), how did they do it. They always said - no choice! In some ways, having children is a great motivator to carry on as near to normal as possible. I often thought it would be much more difficult to face into treatment if I just had my own demons to battle. It puts cruel hardship on the children involved, no doubt about that, but I've seen kids grow stronger and more capable because of that hardship though I wouldn't wish it on anyone of course. I think Louise has put it well, we all have different issues to fact after a dx of bc - and we do face them and we do carry on with life. ... View more

Yes they are a very mixed bag of extremes - very selfish when their peer group make claims on them but extraordinarily sensitive and capable of great kindness - like us all only more so! My son is that age, he really doesn't like anything to disrupt home life - perhaps I've make the way too smooth for him, he being my youngest. My daughter (16) is much more willing to pitch in at times but can be cruel at others. They're learner adults so we have to make demands on them, otherwise they'll never get there but they need us to take the pressure off sometimes so that they can come home and feel safe. I suppose the curse of bc is to threaten that feeling of safety. Smart kids know what it could mean and regularly anticipate devastating consequences - probably more than we do in some cases. Leave her on a long leash and she'll be alright. I know it's easy to say and hard to do but try to stop worrying about her and look after yourself. ... View more

I'm 46 and gaining on you Jennywren - couldn't agree more! ... View more

I've had to listen to so many homespun homilies about bc since I got it - 'everything happens for a reason' 'it's a test' 'your immune system was down because you were grieving' 'you've become a 100% nicer person since you got cancer' - it's all such a load of bullshit. What does it mean to say life is unfair? We all know life can be as arbitrary as the weather. We make our own history but not in circumstances of our own choosing. So we got bc - whether old or young - that's a circumstance. We don't know how long we've got, probably not as long as we might like but fear of cancer is sure to spoil it if it's allowed to overshadow all other circumstances and unless we can find some pleasurable distractions. I'm working on that. ... View more