slow down woman! Hi Annieanne
Sorry to read about the difficult time you had nursing your Mum.
Like you I had my risk of breast cancer calculated, based on family history and personal factors, and it came out about the same as yours. Although I\'ve known this for many years, it\'s only recenty (since I looked after my brother through terminal cancer) that it really bothered me a lot, and I wanted to \'prevent\' breast cancer rather than \'pick it up early\'. I was referred to Manchester (Mr Baildam!) in September last year and had bilateral mastectomies with LD reconstruction in April (three months ago yesterday!)
My mental health has improved a million-fold since the op; I hadn\'t fully appreciated how much space in my head all the worrying about BC was taking until it didn\'t need to be there any more ( yes, I know its not 100% but it feels SO much better than 40%). I opted to have my nipples removed, as I felt I wanted as much breast tissue gone as possible. Plus as I had F-cup size before, there was enough skin around not to need a skin flap. I\'ll have areola tattooing at some point in the future, but don\'t think I\'ll bother with nipple reconstruction.
There\'s a lot to think about, and no right or wrong answers. I\'m sure it will help you once you meet up with your Breast Care nurse, particularly if you can talk to someone whose had it done. The various operation types mean that there are some different after-effects in looks / feelings, but I think the overall experience is similar, so even if you can\'t meet with someone who has had exactly the same op as you want, it should still be very reassuring.
As for perhaps going privately - please don\'t rush this decision. I can understand your reluctance to return to an environment that brings back so many difficult memories, but there\'s a lot to be said for \'staying in the system\' - provided it doesn\'t mean waiting forever, of course! Have you thought about visiting the ward, maybe with your Breast Nurse, to talk to staff about your anxieties? If they know the particular emotional difficulties that being nursed on the ward brings for you, they may be able to make your stay much more bearable. I visited the ward where I was to be admitted, and blubbed a lot - there was nothing specific to the ward, but I just hate being a inpatient . It helped me to do this, although I don\'t really think the staff understood quite where I was coming from - they thought I was worried about the op, whereas I was worried about living in a ward environment and not having any control over my life.... but it may well be worth a try - they all seemed to bend over backwards with the reassurance. That said, I fully agree that your mental health is worth protecting, and if you really can\'t face the place, and going somewhere else is an option, then go for it.
I wish you all the best in your decision-making. One step at a time, and you\'ll get through all that needs to be got through.
Take care
tigger
... View more