Breast Cancer Now Forum

Thanks ladies for all your suggestions.  I did manage to get in touch with the breast form fitter at the hospital and she told me to call in later in the day - luckily she had just what I wanted in stock so that worked out ok - phew!  All great suggestions from you ladies and I must learn not to be complacent (even though my last breast form lasted for three years) and make sure I know what to do in an emergency.   Thanks again, I knew I could rely on you all!   Love Maude xx ... View more

Hi Raechi I am a 40E and I wear Triumph Doreen bras (I particularly like the Doreen Luxury N but it only comes in white and nude now and I can't get it in black but other Doreen bras are available in black). The bras are quite pretty but give good support. I usually order mine from Womanzone, they pocket the bra for me too. You can order the bras from other suppliers then send them to somewhere like Womanzone or Eloise and they pocket them for you. Love Maude xx ... View more

Hi, this post got me thinking about hormones. Since I was a teenager I have been a slave to my hormones! I had very bad PMT, very bad acne which I suspect was caused by hormones. For the first four months of my pregnancy I had severe morning sickness (which everyone told me was caused by "strong" hormones). I suffered with post natal depression. All of which made me decide not to have any more children. I had a 9lb 6oz baby. Ten years ago I had fibroids and I had a hysterectomy (I believe fibroids are caused by too much oestrogen). I have had a really awful menopause which I am not through yet and then four years ago I was diagnosed with oestrogen receptive breast cancer. All of this is hardly scientific especially as I was 10lb when I was born and my mother has just celebrated her 80th birthday without having bc (thankfully!) Like I said, it just got me thinking ................... Love Maude xx ... View more

Hi Rattles I posted you a long reply yesterday and it disappeared! So here I go again ........ You have had lots of excellent advice so far but I thought my experience might help a little. I had a mx in October 2008. Before my operation I bought some post surgery bras from Asda (I got that tip off this forum). They are not too expensive. I bought lots of different sizes, brought them home and tried them on then took the ones that didn't fit back and got a refund (it can be quite difficult to know exactly what size you are). I wore them with my softie (comfie) for about 8 weeks. As Elsa says, you can take stuffing out of the softie and put it back in to suit. I wore loose tops which were easy to take off and put on. When you are ready to get your breast form and "proper" bra take your time to get everything right. I knew I wouldn't look the same without my clothes but I wanted to look good with them on. I saw the breast form fitter at the hospital and the first breast form she gave me was too heavy so she got me a lightweight one. She also gave me a stick on breast form (Contact) to try, it didn't suit me but lots of ladies think they are great. Go to a specialist shop to be fitted for a bra. Even if it is a pain because you have to travel to one still go, then in future you can order over the phone or online when they have your measurements etc. A problem I found is when I bent forward even high neck tops would fall forward and reveal everything so I secure my tops with body tape (I use Eylure tape which I buy from Amazon). I miss my cleavage but I didn't really wear low cut tops before my mx so I have coped ok with that but I do wear quite tight fitting tops now with confidence. As for telling friends and family, I told close friends who reassured me they loved me for myself and not for how many breasts I have. I did tell aquaintances but with hindsight I probably wouldn't bother doing that again because, without sounding harsh, most people are only really concerned about their own problems and most of them have probably even forgotten about me having a mx. They still send me jokey emails about mammograms and tell jokes about boobs etc so it obviously isn't such a big issue to them. It is very early days for you but I promise it will get better and you will be happy again and cope with it all. It isn't perfect but definitely doable. I might sound as if I am "sorted" but I cried myself to sleep many times in the early days and I still have a "downer" every so often but I forget about my mx most of the time now. Lots of love and best wishes Maude xx ... View more

Thanks, Gaynor, that is so sweet. His response made me cry a bit and your post did too! I am so glad I didn't go in with all guns blazing but waited and listened to the great advice from the wise ladies on this site! Love Maude xx ... View more

Thanks again, ladies, for your replies. Again, you are all right in what you say. I just needed someone to talk to yesterday but I realised that none of my female friends or family would know how I was feeling. They would try to understand and make sympathetic noises but they couldn't REALLY know how I felt. That was why I came on here, it took a little bit of courage (as ChoccieMuffin said) to be so frank about how I was feeling but I knew you would understand EXACTLY how I felt. It made me realise how important this forum is to me. Thanks to your very sensible replies I found it easier to broach the subject with my OH last night (if I hadn't read your replies I would have probably just accused him outright of being insensitive and then we would have both ended up being emotional.) I just told him I had felt sad when I saw that girl because I realised I would never be able to wear such a pretty, feminine bra and also it made me think how important breasts are to men. He gave me a hug and said I should have told him I was upset and then he said "you are still here and that is the most important thing to me". So I felt much better! He went on to say that he actually thought the young girl was degrading herself by standing in a shopping centre in her underwear but that she was only young and must have thought it was a good decision at the time but it might be one she would look back on and regret. Then I remembered he had been saying something similar yesterday as we walked away but by then I was thinking of myself so I hadn't listened properly to that. Love Maude xx ... View more

Oh ladies, thank you so much for your replies. They have made me feel so much better. You are all right - I am pretty certain he didn't realise that he had hurt me and would be devastated if he knew. I think I am going to find a way to let him know I was upset but not in a confrontational way and not saying HE upset me but that the situation upset me (if that makes sense). I think it just shocked me how much it affected me, I suppose we all go along thinking everything is ok and then these things happen to remind us what a horrible disease bc is. Thanks and lots of love Maude xx ps thanks for making me laugh too - I needed it! ... View more

Rosanne, let us know how you get on. Coming off Tamoxifen is a very emotional issue and I remember that even though I had the blessing of my surgeon I agonised about it for a long time. I answered your post because I thought we seem to have similar stories. Good luck Maude xx ... View more

Well done Hibiscuslady. I don't know whether I would be confident enough to do what you did (but I probably wouldn't have been confident enough to do it before my mastectomy!). Lovely story. Joules, I have the leaning forward and gaping problem but I have found that using some body tape to secure my top stops it falling forward and displaying everything, which makes me more confident. I use Eylure tape which I buy from Amazon but you can also buy it from Boots and Superdrug. Maude xx ... View more

Hi Rosanne After my first routine mammogram at the age of 51 I was diagnosed with widespread DCIS. I had a mastectomy and I was told they had also found a 10mm grade 2 tumour developing but this was far away from the chest wall and it was successfully removed. I had no lymph node involvement and I did not have radiotherapy. (I decided not to have a reconstruction) I was prescribed Tamoxifen because my cancer was oestrogen receptive and the surgeon said I had a slightly more chance than the average woman of getting another cancer in my remaining breast. I had really bad side effects and after four months my surgeon told me to come off the Tamoxifen because he said it wasn't worth the bad side effects I was having for the protection I was getting, and I will be monitored closely too. I even asked him if I should have another mastectomy to remove the risk and the possible future need to take Tamoxifen. He said this was not necessary because the risk of me getting cancer in the other breast was not significantly high. I know that everyone is different and for some women it is very important that they continue with the Tamoxifen but it might be a good idea for you to discuss this with your surgeon or bcn because you might find that in your case you can make a judgement whether it is worth you carrying on with it if it makes you feel so bad. Good luck Maude xx ... View more

Hi everyone I can relate to Elli's post on Friday 20th April about bossy friends (who mean well!). A few months after my dx and mx I had arranged to go for a walk with a friend of mine. It was a lovely winter's day - sunny and cold - so I knew I would have to wrap up well. She rang me and said she had decided that it was too cold for me to go for a walk! I said I had been looking forward to it and needed to get out for a few hours but she was adamant I couldn't go for that walk. I nearly said "I lost a breast not my brain so I am capable of making my own decisions". But I just decided to say nothing and I went for a walk on my own anyway and lived to tell the tale! Love Maude xx ... View more

I had to have an MRI scan a few years ago and I had a panic attack and couldn't go in it. I booked another scan for two weeks later. I went to my GP and he gave me some Diazepam (quite low dose). He told me to try a tablet in advance to get an idea of how it made me feel. The night before the scan I took one and next morning about 2 hours before the scan I took another and I went into the scanner with no problem at all. The radiologist gave me an eye mask to wear in case I was tempted to open my eyes in the scanner. All I can say is if I can do it (with Diazepam) anyone can! Good luck Maude xx ... View more

Alesta29, your post made me think of something that happened to a friend of mine recently. Her daughter in law has breast cancer and she was told that all her family and friends and anyone she is likely to come into contact with should have the 'flu jab. My friend rung her surgery and spoke to the receptionist who told her, curtly, that the only people who need to have the 'flu jab are those who live in the same house. My friend explained that she would be looking after her grandchildren so she was likely to come into contact with her daughter in law. The receptionist said if she wanted to have the jab she would have to pay for it. That afternoon her son went into the same surgery and said he had been told that he should have the 'flu jab. The receptionist asked for his name and when he told her she said "I have had your wife on the phone this morning and I have told her she cannot have the jab and she will have to pay for it". Her son said "You can't have spoken to my wife because she is having chemotherapy today - you must have spoken to my mother" Blushes all round. I can't believe my friend was treated in such a manner when her daughter in law is ill and she is concerned about her, her son and her grandchildren! Love Maude xx ... View more

Hi Chrissy In October 2008 I had a mx. I did not need chemotherapy or radiotherapy. I got a letter from my gp's surgery with an appointment for the 'flu vaccination. I was 51 at the time. I went along and the nurse told me I got offered it because my immune system was compromised. I have got a letter to go every year since then and I have gone along and had the injection. I don't feel like I am cheating because I am a carer so I could have the injection free anyway for that reason. My husband, like Elinda's, has just paid for the injection privately because he isn't entitled to a free one but he has had the 'flu over the last few Christmasses and he was really poorly with it. Love Maude xx ... View more

Thanks for that info Elinda. I keep telling myself it would be best for me to get through the menopause as naturally as possible - by eating healthily and taking some exercise and cutting down on alcohol and caffeine. Then I hear about something that might help and I think "Mmmmmmm .... should I try that?" I think the conclusion has to be stick to my initial idea of not taking any supplements just in case. Thanks again. Maude xx ... View more

Thanks Elinda xx ... View more

Hi Janail Did you find out if starflower oil is safe? I was talking to a lady today who said she has been taking cod liver oil and starflower oil for menopausal symptoms and it has helped (she hasn't had breast cancer though). Thanks Maude xx ... View more