Hello, I am sure there is nothing to worry about. Without being a scaremonger though I wanted to tell you about my fibroadenoma journey, in case it helps solidify your thinking lol. I was diagnosed 6 years ago with 1 fibroadenoma. I totally understand how you feel about worrying it may mask a new growth. When I went back to get things checked in May 2011 due to more 'bulk' and lots of monthly pain I asked at ultrasound if 'it' had grown to be informed that there were now three of them and 2 cysts.
The smallest was IDC grade 2 and I insisted they took out the other two and two cysts as well because I knew it would be a needle in the haystack looking for future lumps!
Hope you get things sorted soon. xx
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Hugs Moon, what an emotional time for you. You've had good advice already but I just wanted to reassure you re stress because the more you worry about being stressed the worse it can be. We know stress isn't good for you when pregnant - true, but neither is worrying about how much you are stressing.
The first time I was pregnant I was blissful throughout the term, my daughter was hard work as a baby lol. Not chilled out, not feeding well, projectile vomit and reflux so I really worried when pregnant with my son because I was going through a horrendous time personally. Like you I beat myself up and worried about the damage I was doing. Despite this he was happy, healthy and a wonderful chilled out, very easy baby to look after!
Look after yourself first, then the rest will look after itself, if you know what I mean. I hope once you get your plan in place everything seems more manageable. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.
Take care xxx
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Hello lovelies and thank you for all your lovely advice and words. Of course my grumblimgs have been eclipsed by the awful news about Aly and Karen. Just crappy.
My job share partner who works my Friday for me actually went to our HT on Monday because she is struggling with the demands of our situation. I was so relieved in some ways. I can't get GP appt until the last day of term at end of Sept. For the first time in 15 years of teaching I nearly bubbled in front of the class today, but I think I reigned it in enough before they cottoned on. Job share partner said Friday was awful for her and she is far more experienced teacher than I am. Anyway to cut a long story short because we have both reported unmanagable stress we are meeting with her at half past eight on Thursday morning. Fingers crossed talking about it doesn't set me off again.
Hubby gets back on Thursday (can't wait!) but then Houston next week so we're making the most of his time at home and taking my daughter to the theatre on Saturday. Always a giggle catching up with her..again keeping things in perspective lol.
Emmy hope things are going wonderfully. You really deserve a fabby time. xx
Ami, good luck with all the moving. how lovely to have your dad with you! xx I'm going to have to answer my phone now (hubby) so will have to make do with a big hug and hello to the rest of you gorgeous girls. Take care all of you. xxxx
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Psst Hi Jane, I'm still here, just busy busy. Hope you're doing ok. xx
Hello Ami, lovely to see your cheery posts again, oh yes I am still grumpy, but more on that later!! I've missed the news with your dad Ami. I hope things are okay and I hope you are looking after yourself too. x
Hi Stella, I hope the new AD does the trick. We can't function without sleep. It's awful so I have everything crossed for you. x
Oooooo Em I think you will be away by now. Lovely time of year to go to Oz. Have a fabulous time, you certainly deserve it. x
Elsa, yeah I am glad you had the cyst identified and drained. It is such a worry and I think we get to be so practical with BC you can't help preparing for every eventuality. Glad it's ok x
Hi Janice, thank you, You'll be counting the days until centreparcs and your boy being here for Christmas. Lovely family times. I'll spend a week in October at my sister's in HERTS, looking forward to that. x
Doz, I hope you have had a fantastic break too! xx
Five weeks into term here and I can't say too much on these forums but workload and 'challenging' behaviour issues have got me worn out already. Not been sleeping and the days are relentless and then I'm finding it hard to get the paperwork done too because of all the 'fire fighting' through the day. Sorry I know it's a bit cryptic but in short I have the most challenging situation in my workplace and it lead to me talking with boss this week She really tried hard to be supportive but the sub text is still ' I only gave you this because I thought you could cope ' so the guilt is still here for me.
I know I have severe stress and anxiety issues, Hubby wanted them all to be addressed at work, this can't happen so I might try GP again for some citalopram. He is not in favour of this because he feels I am having too much asked of me too soon but I feel I need something to help me survive and sleep.
Other than that I am trying (honest) to keep my life in perspective. xx Hugs to all xx
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Hello lovelies (and our new girls),
Sorry I have not been on for such a long time. Four weeks being back at school and I have no time to myself at all! I don't know how often I'll be able to check in because OH is also working away most weeks and I am in scrambling mode just trying to keep things ticking along doing the basics.
I haven't had time to catch up properly but so pleased that you've managed some decent time with your Dan Doz and glad that you and Vikki are getting some joint pampering!!
I did finally do my 10k for BCC at the weekend though and was delighted that my 6 weeks of training had done enough. £350 raised for them, people were unbelievably kind and generous. Now I am determined that I will continue this (esp when work is so stressful!) so Friday morning ( when I am off!!! ) will be a long run day and I'll try to do a race every now and then - but no charity stuff for a good year.
Love and hugs to you all, yes I'm still crabbit and grumpy!!!
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Thank you Crabbit and apple, sorry for the abrupt ending to my last post. Had to hit send in a hurry when I realised I was going to be late for the school pick up, oops! I think you are probably right, still no doubt RADS damage.
My joints aren't as bad as they were on Tamoxifen, I just get clicky thumbs, but sometimes my wrists and hands ache and then it goes. I too agree, Tamoxifen is a fab drug. Wouldn't chooses not to.
Take care xx
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Hello, I just wanted to ask if my shoulder/ shoulder blade probs might be tamoxifen too. Always assumed it was RADS damage as on same side. Ironing begins to hurt very quickly, but sometimes I cannot put a finger on what has kicked off the pain and it just seems from nowhere. I think when I'm stressed and tense that it's worse.
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Hello everyone, I have had a quick catch up with posts, hope I haven't missed anything too important!
Ami I am glad that you are pleased with your new softie! I did think it was a change of heart that you had kept very quiet lol! I misled myself so please don't apologise for me being a bit thick!
Doz, you really could do with a break from everything couldn't you. How frustrating when you're not really getting any answers that could improve things. Fingers crossed that you get a listening ear at your next appt. Glad to hear that Daniel is doing well too.
Em good for you retail therapy and maxi dresses. I have a favourite one from Marks and Spencer which I have worn to death and cannot really find one to match it! I was lucky to get a couple of dresses half price in the Monsoon sale at the start of the summer and wore one to the oldest boys wedding and have another in hand to wear to my aunt's 60th next week. Not usually one for buying a new outfit for a do, but I enjoyed it!
I hope that you get a wee boost Janice. It's awful when you feel helpless with family issues. Try not to take on too much yourself. Sending you spoons and hugs back.
Jane, my goodness, it sounds like a bad accident with the vase. Ouch! Great news that the mammo is clear too. Now surely that qualifies for a glass or two of wine. My lovely daughter (now 21) was a very wayward teenager, despite boundaries, love, support, sanctions lol! I know what you mean about stepping back. I had to stop being scared for her all the time, worrying was getting me nowhere and causing friction. Fingers crossed she is through all the turmoil now and is a lovely warm, slightly scatty young lady!
Ami, laughing at you and the dog. I managed to trip over the cat yesterday morning. She stopped dead below me on the stairs, fortunately only two from the bottom. Reminded me of the time when Lewis was newborn and my OH tripped over the cat and slid down the stairs burning his back whilst protecting Lewis. is it wring that it makes me smile when I remember? He is a real drama queen. I have never met another human being who can make such a fuss over a minor injury, not that his falling downstairs was minor of course!
Hello Yvonne too, I hope you are doing ok. I hope you get your cut in hours (and a decent job share partner too). I am so glad that I have not been asked to put my hours up to five days a week. I rely on my Friday off completely!
take care, sorry if I have missed anyone out. xx
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Hello Doz and so sorry to hear about Pete. Ami summed things up so well. Life is so precious and who knows where any of us will be in a years time, BC or not. I keep telling myself that BC aside I am blessed to have a body that 'works' if you know what I mean. Fingers crossed for your ECG and bloods, hope it all goes well.
New boob Ami! Gosh there will be no stopping you, sending you hugs and hand holding and hoping all the pre op stuff goes well. And you are so right, it would be very boring if we all read the same type of thing. I wish my taste wasn't quite so grisly! The girls at work are always swapping books and I never have anything suitable to swap! I am so out of touch with what everyone else is reading.
Pleased to hear that Occ Health are looking after you Elsa Jane, as for leaving bang on time etc you are quite right. Stuff the looks you get. I swore when I was off work and things were still dodgy that I would never get myself stressed over my job and I would keep things in perspective. I haven't been entirely successful but certainly have kept my hours down (having Fridays off) despite Lewis starting school this year.
Stella, please do not be too impressed! I have bought in the healthy food - tick! I am still consuming the unhealthy food - tick! I actually put on a pound at weigh in today, but I'm not complaining, it was a fair cop! Another night out again threw me this week when we went to Perth racecourse for an evening meeting with hubby's work! I was so hungry I had a veggie burger and chips, and I love my sweets. I am tired all the time and not working through the Summer hols, don't know how well I'll get on running when back at work. I am trying to exercise to fight the fatigue but I am having more teary spells (very gradual build up but can see where things are going lol! ) so totally understand the tiredness taking away our ability to exercise. Proof of the pudding will be keeping anything up after next week when schools go back here.
This weekend we go down to York to my stepson and his lovely wife's wedding party. He is such a smashing lad and very much like his father, really looking forward to going down.
Take care you lovely lot! Carolyn x
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Hello everyone, and especially Ami who I missed out last time!!!
Can I add my healing thoughts to Pete and family too please? Just rubbish. It's just a horrible, helpless feeling when someone is in that position.
Ami, what a shame about your dog. It is tricky as they get older though I know. My mum and dad went away very little during the last three years of their dog's life for similar reasons. Without sounding mercenary they are making up for it now, although mum did confess to having a look at the rescue dogs recently!!
Exercises? I was told 8 - 10 weeks post op! A friend of mine who's a BCN has told me that lympho often presents 2 or 3 years later. I know that I am certainly back to all my naughty habits. Gardening without gloves and hauling around furniture and bags of compost. I was paranoid about insect bites etc at first.
How is Dunfermline going Janice? I am just along the road from you just now. In fact we were at Dobbies yesterday and got some lovely plants to fill a space where I have eventually dug up some 'failing to thrive'! Today will be a cleaning day for me and then it's off to Perth Races with OH's work tonight!
Next week I am hoping the school will be open so that I can start to set up the classroom, but trying not to think too much about working just now.
Ah Emmy getting closer to your hols now. I am one of the women who has got 50 shades of grey! Everyone at work was reading it and passing on their copy....but I have to say I got three chapters in and have passed it on. It is pretty dull! Mind you I've never really been into the chick lit stuff. I like my gorey/ grizzly forensic/ murder stories i.e Reichs and Karin Slaughter! I have had another week where I don't think my weigh in will show a loss, but I have managed a proper week of training so will have done some good I'm sure. I need to get the measuring tape out at times like this because it doesn't always show on the scales! (She says in hope lol!). I know it's frustrating Emmy. I was told to wait until my weight gain had stopped/ slowed by my ONC and then tackle it.
Jane - glad the mammo is done and dusted. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Stella. I hope you do manage to get your sleep sorted out. Not easy when you are trying to cope with working as well. Glad your son is all moved in safely too.
Doz, I think I have already worn my OH's resolve down with the Olympics coverage! I thought the Opening Cermony was wonderful. It would be very easy to watch the coverage all day. Very exciting stuff! I am going to have to be a little more disciplined today though as I've said and get some cleaning done!
Janice, I'm glad your GP changed your tablets without a fuss. It is nice and important to be listened to on this journey!
Take care lovely ladies, I am still sat in bed in pyjamas. Time to get up. ( Even though I could sleep all day! lol ).
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Hello lovely ladies,
I've had probs logging on to reply lately, but all seems okay today. I hope your week off is going well Doz. I'm sure you will have a lovely time in Sept too, how lovely. Hope your long catch up with your friends goes well too. Enjoy your appt free time as well.
Stella, hope you didn't overdo it helping your boy to move. Like you say it's exciting the first time. Look after your shoulder too though. Glad the femara is helping too, enjoy your garden whilst you can.
Elsa Jane look after yourself at work too. So easy to get sucked into doing too, too much and paying for it later. Glad things are going well too.
Jane, hope you are okay and not too tired? You do work hard petal! I am lucky so far with no lympho. I know it can creep up on you a couple of years after, but so far so good and that's been with flying, insect bites and cuts and scrapes.
Em the christening sounded just lovely. I know what you mean about being treated normally. It's great. I was out last night with colleagues, many of whom who I have not seen since BC. It was great not to be asked about it at all!
We have had two or three nice days here, but not the glorious sunshine which you have had in England. I am enjoying being off with Lewis. Been totally misbehaving diet wise for the last 4 weeks but hoping to get back on track with a healthy shop this week!
Our oldest boy was married in Mauritius yesterday. it was quite emotional, in a virtual way. Looking forward to catching up with the happy couple next weekend at their party. They don't want to wait too long for children either. I would never take being a granny for granted. I think a lot of assumptions are made abot fertility issues! We do joke that we need grandchildren so that Lewis has children his own age to play with.
We are going to head over to my mum's today for a catch up, then do something nice with Lewis and that healthy shop! Looking forward to watching all the Olympics coverage. I have finally started my training for the 10k proper and am feeling a little more confident. Only doing three runs a week because I know once George is working away I will struggle to get it done. I get so bored on the treadmill!
Take care ladies, flutter gently and sorry I have not got around to all of you. Never quite get peace to do this! xxx
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Hello lovelies, Doz, Ami, Stella, Jane, Elsa Jane, Yvonne, Janice and Em, sorry if I have forgotten anyone. Not been out since TITP but lovely to read your posts and well done GI Jane, a fantastic photo.
We spent a week delivering my little brother's car to Verona. It was a nice wee adventure, but tiring. I have never taken the ferry from Newcastle to Ijmuiden (AMsterdam) before with DFDS and what a pleasant surprise! It was fantastic. To drive down to the tunnel and pay would have cost just as much ( if not more). Booked through aferry.com and saved a lot of money on a Commodore cabin.
We got to Ehrwald in Austria eventually, stunning even in three days of rain! We had to but new waterproofs because the taping on ours failed (Probably because I washed them incorrectly after TITP!). Highlight was the Oompah band who were playing in blinding snow outside the Bierhalle at the summit of the Zugspitze!
Drive to Garda was the best part of the journey in terms of being trouble and traffic jam free but with no air con in the car and me being a sicky we were winging it down the autobahns with windows wide open looking like a right group of chumps I'm sure!
After having a great couple of months free from SE's (Tamoxifen) I'm disappointed that they seem to be back with a vengeance! Especially the damp downstairs, hot and cold flushes and grumpiness. I hope you appreciate my euphamism ladies not like me to be delicate.
Hope that all the results keep going our way and best wishes to anyone who is going for tests/ scans soon.
Take care everyone. xx Carolyn xx
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Hi BCM, my boy was 4 when I was diagnosed. I was grade 2 IDC and lucky enough not to need a mastectomy and this, I believe made things much easier for me. He does not know about the surgery in hospital because he went for a sleepover for a couple of days with his wonderful childminder (lucky again I know).
I had to tell him the doctor had sucked out all the bad bits, but was reticent about mentioning hospital because my little brother had been in intensive care only a couple of months before and he had picked up on a little anxiety re hospital as being a very serious issue.
I ordered mummy's lump but also did not use it. It tries to cover all the bases with the best of intentions. My BCN suggested skipping pages but children don't work that way do they? I felt it wasn't right for our situation i.e. no major surgery, chemo or issues with worry and stress. My work were great and I had 3 months off during treatment. I have still not used the word 'cancer'. He calls it my 'booby bug' and came with me to a couple of RADS sessions (which he loved!) He called it the Zap zap machine. I also felt the man falling apart a bit in the book didn't represent our situation. I gave a copy to our nurery too like Kindensurprise.
Things are trickier now. I am feeling guilty about my tamoxifen induced lack of patience and energy and feel he and my husband both suffer.
Good luck to everyone. xx
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Hello lovely ladies, ultrasound went well, so sorry not to have updated. T in the Park has taken over the weekend, sheesh! Two cysts and thickening but no BC so I am now determined to leave things be for a whole year. It's crazy isn't it because they tell you to be vigilant and report changes but you do feel bad for taking up clinic time! Thank you so much for all your good wishes and hand holding!
Friday at T was okay, fairly warm and dry, yesterday was unbelievably wet, worst one I have seen. Wellies were not high enough in places, very muddy! Hoping for dryer things today. Might have to sneak in some Murray viewing before we leave. My car getting the bin bag treatment today.
Take care everyone, will catch up properly later. x
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Came home from a drizzly Aberdeen yesterday to blistering sunshine at home, couldn't believe it! Rainy today though and I managed to leave my waterproof jacket on the train. Will be an interesting T in the P without it!
also came home to recall letter so ultrasound today, really wish they had just done it all on one day, feeling a bit like last summer waiting for appsand results again. 6 years ago I was mammo, ultra and biopsy all in one day and results a week later! Times have changed indeed.
Hoping for dry skies for your concert too Doz. We sometimes go to Glamis proms with gazebos etc but the booze was flowing a little too freely last time and I am afraid I was sick in my sister in laws loo! Oh the shame!
take care everyone, just ashort one today. Xx
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Hello girls, lovely posts again, what a fab bunch you are.
I am sitting in my hubby's boss's flat in Aberdeen whilst he's working up here. Decided to travel up with him because I am off work. Nice not to be apart too much for once . It also means I'll not be jumping on the poor postie, no mammo result yet and I get a bit pathetic waiting around for it.
Ooh Emmy, my son sounds a bit like yours was. Very frank indeed. I'm not allowed to sing around the house either. Made me smile. Good luck with the chair exercises and the diet. At last the weight is coming off for me, so pleased. Slimming World and fry light spray are my hot tips! Hoping I can get another half stone or so off before the biggest boy's wedding party in August. Not started training for the 10k in Sept yet either, absolute deadline is T in the Park weekend to begin so cannot see much getting done then!
I hope you enjpyed your swim Elsa Jane! I don't go nearly enough, and wouldn't go at all were it not for my son! I am thinking about buying a bikini to encourage me to keep losing weight. Yes I am too old for one but last year when I knew I had BC but was waiting for confirmation I was on hol in Crete and kept admiring all the shapes and sizes who were cool and confident in their bodies and I thought sod it, be proud of your bits and bobs whilst you have them! But can I just draw the line at ladies of my age and older who 'thong' it!! Just not a good look on a saggy bum! See back to being judgemental again, can't help myself! So bikini it is!
Doz, what rude, rude men!!! Honestly you did well to contain yourself. How lovely you and Megan are getting to enjoy each other's company. Nice for Dan too. I hope you get a date soon for your 'stuck' digit! Don't feel guilty about work. It is one thing phoning someone to ask how they are, quite another to suggest when they come in to work! Glad Vikki is getting a bit of mobility back too. Now we need some nice weather to enjoy it! Rain, rain here now.
So glad the concert went well Stella. Keep singing butterfly!
I hope your trek up to Scotland goes well Yvonne. Thank heavens for grannies!! My mum is looking after Lewis Fri 7th to Sun 9th July too so we can go to T in the P. Heaven only knows what the weather will be like. We may well have to spend most of our time in the Ceilidh tent (guaranteed to warm you up!).
Ooh Jane, hairy bits! Six years ago (pre baby and feeling flush!) I treated myself to laser hair removal for legs and offending bikini area. It was great, a little intimate but done in such a 'medical fashion' that you soon coped without embarrassment! Great though. If ever I feel flush enough again I will get the 'rear bikini line done'.......now what in heaven is going on there???? and have a top up at the front!
Enjoying the tennis here too. Was really disappointed with the football, much more exciting! Will be watching out for Nadal having a sniff now though!
Hello Janice, hope you are keeping well. Ami Cheryl went well....until near the end of the disco they put on one of her awful records and stood around me clapping expecting me to dance! Now I did try, aske them for some moves and copied them, but honestly.....Now the cha cha slide (like every Primary teacher) I can do! What a fab bunch of children though. Very sad, lots of hugs and tears wishing them well on Thursday as they left the school.
Looking forward to catching up with my ex husband's brother's wife today. Not seen her for about nine years! Nothing Jeremy Kyle about it lol. We phone now and then but don't really visit. She lives in Aberdeen though so we are making the most of the opportunity.
Take care lovelies...Lewis keeps saying 'are you done yet?'. He wants to play plants vs zombies on my laptop!
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Hello Ami, yes I am sitting in bed again lol! Watching Titschmarsh's new prog (forgive spelling). Got my Cheryl Cole fancy dress outfit for tomorrow night's celeb party at school! Think my P7's will wet themselves laughing, it's the one with the split sided trousers and huge military hat and jacket!
We had our end of year service today and, as usual many a tear shed for the children who are moving on to High School. Always emotional and the singing was beautiful!
I would love to get back into a choir Stella, but you are a bit far away!! Enjoy it. Lovely weather here until tea time, been pouring since!
Take care lovely flutterbies. xxx
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