Youre all so lovely... Thankyou for you kind messages.. Ive missed being in touch and feeling the warmth of all the support i get from our Jems. Yvonne my OH is the same, he says often that after the treatment its all over and done with.. I know he's trying to be positive for me but sometimes i wish he'd try and understand my fears. Im praying he is right and my fears are unfounded but i am well aware of the increased risks as i had 1 lymph so heavily infected it went LVI as well 😞 Only 2 nodes out of 12 though and clear margins so thats not too bad. Well thats what i think i read briefly from my french notes and dont want to delve any deeper as im trying to focus on all the fact that at the moment all the C has gone, no spread on MRI or CT scan x 2 and any little rogue runners will be blasted away with my 3 x FEC and 3 x TAX. I had the fear really bad last night and stayed up reading all the TN posts on here to see if anyone else was the same as me. And yes there have been a few, some who are still NED against all the odds so at 3.30 in the morning I decided to try and sleep!! Im exhausted today, feel dizzy, nauseous and washed out. Need to get my head into the moment again and lve for the now, not worry about something that hasnt and may never happen. Its the evil of this disease that eats away at you! Thankfully my little boy has only had one flare up today so thats a relief and i hope to tomorrow it will be better again. He's very tearful though and needs his mummy but poor mummy is tearful, fraught and not coping too good. Ive been offered counselling but in french so dont see theres any point. I do question what on earth im doing here in France, but the move back would be pretty stressful too! Im stuck between a rock and a hard place. Im sorry im moaning again... TN is shit!!!
Need to start a discussion on a different note... Does anyone have any thoughts on intermittent fasting? Ive been reading how it can have a positive effects on reducing IGF-1 hormne levels which are growth hormones that provide the perfect breeding ground for cancer to spread and are found to be high in many BC cases especially TN! Im doing 2 day reduced calorie intake each week (book called 5:2 diet by Dr Michael Moseley) and will do it before chemo and during chemo too. the theory behind this is that when our body thinks its not getting any food it triggers our cells to protect and repair. Cancer grows on new cells so we want our cells to repair. During chemo our good cells get damaged too but when our cells are repairing the cancer cells are running round looking to find a host and in doing so the chemo goes straight to them in theory making it potentially more effective. Theres only been limited studies but it sounds good to me so not only am i loosing weight healthily, im hoping im giving the cancer another kick in nuts! All this fighting... its a constant battlefield!
Big hugs to everyone
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I was diagnosed in December 1.5 IDC grade 3, 2 nodes out of 12 and possibly vascular invasion but decided not to delve into that so not 100% sure. I got my diagnosis in french so didnt understand it all and probably for the best. I keep visiting this site when im crushed with fear and it always reassures me to read the successes of our amazing long term winners... You give me the hope i need when all seems lost. TN comes with its own bag of fear and its rubbish!! This disease took my mum from me way too young and i'll be damned if my one year old will lose his mummy so young... No no no! Please keep up the positive news its a lifeline xxxx
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Thanks for thinking of me... Thats so lovely of you. Xx Ive been having pretty tough time of late, well since my 2nd fec really after the horrendous 10 day nausea trip! Cancer is so giving eh! I just havent jumped back out of it and slipped into my own little world. I have had some nice walks in the snow which have kept me sane but I seem to be spending hours researching what i can do to prevent this feck of a disease from coming back. Im not sure if any of our TN ladies feel the same but Im constantly battling fear of reoccurence. Ive got OCD in cancer prevention, i keep telling myself that its a good thing to try and take control but it seems to be taking over at the moment! My little boy has also been poorly too so thats been a worry and we still dont know what it is. His little hands and feet keep swelling up and going bright red with white lumps and are painful. 😞 the Dr as give him steroids but theyre not working so we're back to see him on Monday. FEC 3 Tuesday.. Nervous! Then there's our business closing down bla bla... Oh i cant bare to moan about it all... Im sorry! Ive got a little black rain cloud hanging over me and im good at listening to others but pretty crap at asking for help for myself. Then in all the madness a caring soul comes out of the blue... Thank you Lee
I haven't caught up on all our lovely Jems news and adventures yet, but i hope you are all well and i send virtual hugs to each and everyone of you.
lots of love
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You look amazing in your new wig... And your little man looks adorable too. He's so cute! Its interesting to hear you say that about chico too, as my dog also started to act strangely before i was diagnosed and since my operation he has barely left my side. I think animals do sense something is a miss and im enjoying all the extra cuddles... its comforting.
Ive just had my white blood cells injection and feeling grotty so dinner and bed... The whole day has been a washout really... I think i must have got away with it on my first treatment so its been bit crappy this time... Hey ho!
Love to all the Jems
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Hey Jenny And Caroline im with you on round two today.. Hanging in there so far but battling with the waves of nausea more this time than last... Trying to eat little and often! I think it might be an early night for me. Thinking of you both and sending hugs.
Hope all our Jems arwe doing ok wherever you are up to!
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Sandra lts good to hear from you...i was getting worried as i new you were feeling down about things... Im pleased the infection is seroma and nothing more sinister. I hope the discomfort is not as bad? Im not surprised you have been feeling down with it all. It does take a lot of energy to prepare yourself for chemo and im pleased you have a date finally. big hugs xx
Gay I had a tingly head before it started. I like your style ordering 3 wigs, you have to be sure about these things! I hope you like at least one of them... like any new doo it just takes a few weeks to get used to it... And you will embrace it. I feel very liberated for shavng my hair. i thought i would hate it, but i dont its quite exciting. Im learning lots of new things about myself... My hair was purely cosmetic and I am me regardless. I hope you feel the same strength when you cut yours xx
Caroline i looked for your picture but couldnt find it.., i tried to post mine but it would only load the picture sideways so need to try and so that out. How? I dont know but i'll keep trying! Ive been reading a blog of a lady who struggled with her bloods and she used to exercise before her bloods were taken and eat a piece of red meat... Which worked for her! So probably its the iron and maybe you can iron load your diet pre bloods and see if that helps?! It might be worth a go. Ive also stopped eating red meat so am going to try it out for myself. I'll let you know my chemo is Tuesday.
Sarah... Yes... Ive had my lady garden in autumn so to speak. I trimmed it right back so no overgrown bushes in my garden! 😉 its so weird losing your hair from there... All part of the ride eh! Still gt hair everywhere else arms, legs, eyebrows... Not looking forwardto eyebrows going!
Yvonne i think my hair will grow back grey too. My husband is a good few years younger than me so i hope not! I wear a beanie over my wig and it helps to make it feel natural. Ive been trying to post a pic but cant get it to post the pic the rightway up. I'll keep working on it 🙂
Morwenna i love your energy... Your dedication to the choir and commitment to singing and getting out and about... Regardless! You made me laugh with the bandana reference... I feel like i should be out on the street trying to sell lucky heather to passers by... Bandanas are not for me... beanies all the way!
Well Jems Ive induged in a few glasses of wine this eve as Im celebrating giving the power of attorney for our solicitors today, to sign for our new house next week on our behalf. A lovely new farm will be our reward after all his is all behind us. Normandy here we come 🙂 new home, life and fresh start yay!
love to all xxx x
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Did you have a mastectomy or lumpectomy to remove the lump? Just curious as to why you decided on no treatment after that? Have you followed a particular kind of diet or lifestyle since then? Sorry lots of questions as ive just been diagnosed and scared of reoccurrence!
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Well its been a liitle while since i posted last and there's more new ladies... i cant keep up. A big warm welcome and hello to everyone new...
Its seems like we're all in the same hair place as ive just shaved mine this week. I was a bit tearful when my husband was cutting t and the first peep in the mirror was scary, but ive come to terms with it now and spend most of my time au naturel unless im going out. My little boy keeps stroking my head and giggling which is lovely and also a relief he's not upset about it. I can deal with it if my family are ok with it. Leelaloo and Jenny im so sorry to hear your both finding it difficult to come to terms the short hair, it is such a big thing... i hope you're feeling a little stronger with each day. Our hair becomes our identity for such a long time, but it doesn't define who we are.. that beauty lies within. It is just a small period of time thats working positively to get us through this. Virtual hugs to you both. Morwenna i admire you're courage to step out with your chorus and share your new look, thats really brave and encouraging for all of us in the same boat. I did answer the door today and by the look on our friends face realised i didnt have my hat on as he jumped! Note to self... Headwear next to the door!
Yvonne im so sorry to hear your bloods were low. That must be so frustrating... Ive been reading a TN blog by American News Reporter called Jennifer Griffin and she had problems with her bloods and had some good dietary recommendations to help boost WBC. Whether it was just chance or the actual food she ate, but she passed the second test. Might be worth a read... Ive enjoyed following her blog... There's also a fantastic blog and book by Patricia Prijatel. The blog is called, positives about negative. Her book is called Surviving Triple Negative and is a brilliant for giving some of the most up to date research, tips and guidance to dealing with TN. Its only just come out and its been very reassuring.
Caroline, i'll try and post a new picture of my new doo too... I'll go and check out your new style 😉 Im sorry to hear you've been poorly i hope you're feeling better Xx
Sandra i haven't seen you post for a while... i hope you're ok and the infection is clearing up?? Big virtual hugs... Just want you to know i am thinking of you and sending get well very very soon wishes xx
Ive got number 2 next week... Starting to feel more aware its coming around again. How is everyone feeling about their next treatment?
big hugs to all the Jems
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Good morning Jems
Had a weird night of itchy, twitchy scalp... Not sure if its just because the apprehension is rising or its starting??! is this the symptoms preceding the fall? My very own autumn for hair!!!
I think its time to go do some meditation and my morning qi gong routine with reflection on HAIR today preferably not gone tomorrow 🙂 Is anyone else doing something similar to qi gong or tai chi? Its so good for you and i'd be happy to share information. I used to teach it many years ago and absolutely swear by it. Everyone can benefit from just doing 15 minutes each day... Read about the health benefits if you haven't done it before, its well worth a look.
Hope you've all slept well and the sun is shining brightly for you..
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I wrote a big long message as per usual... I type as much as I chatter... And the bloody thing disappeared! So here's my second version and do apologise if my first arrived and now im repeating much of what you know already 🙂
Caroline you look beautiful... Very feminine and au naturel! Well done for posting your pic is very reassuring for us ladies who are just about to take the plunge. My shaving ceremony was going to be this weekend but OH just sprung a boys weekend on me so hoping it lasts until next week. Im quite looking forward to quiet relaxin weekend with my wee man and no OH, just lots of cuddles and quality time! I think we all benefit from having some time out to recoup, revitalise ad reflect during this tough time. It'll be candlelit bubble bath, soft music, meditation and then early night with good film, a baileys hot chocolate and a big empty snore free bed... Perfect!!
Good news for me today and chest scan ALL CLEAR yay! Everything in order and working well thankfully. Seems like my weekly stress inducing scans are not going to beat me down with any bad results today. Im so relieved and very tired after all the excitement so tucked up in bed already. Rhonda I will be speaking to my oncol re something to calm me, i'll mention valium and see what he thinks, thanks fr that. No one needs to be suffering anymore than we are already so if the odd little pill helps when times are tricky then so be it!
Sandra I am very sorry to hear that you've not had a good day... Good that you managed a sneaky appt with your Consultant... Thats a rarity! I think we all feel like a bag of rusty spanners from time to time so sending you big hugs. I wish it was as simple to fix us all up with brown paper and double sided tape... If only eh !! I hope you're dealing with it all ok? Xx
Tomorrow.. good luck with number 2. You're leading the way for us all to follow, what a brave soldier you are. I hope it goes well for you. I'll say a little prayer tht the SE 's are kind and it all passes comfortably and smoothly. i'll be sending get well vibes during the next few days xx
Sleep tight tonight... Xxx
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One way ticket to hospital... Something has shown up in my bloods.. CT scan first thing!! Lets hope its just a runaway lentil from last nights dinner!! Thanks Yvonne I'm going to get started on that right away, chest feels like its imploding... Will you Keep your fingers crossed for me Jems, your support is such a lifeline at times like this... Big hugs and Love to all xxxx
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Well back from the Dr's after being sent for immediate blood test.. Hope Dr is being overly cautious and just ruling out , 'a pulmonary embolism' !!!! I told him about the out of the blue panic attack i had and he didnt offer any meds for easing the anxiety which after you have been told you may have a blood clot on your lungs, would have been really useful. Been lay down since trying to remain calm as breathing is becoming very difficult as anxiety is increasing as the day progresses! Apparently a blood clot can happen after surgery and is not uncommon ive been told. it is apparently relatively easy to treat but its just another thing on top of everything else we have to cope with. Im feeling close to chucking myself in a skip. I will get results by end of day, so praying for a course of antibiotics for infection or some anti anxiety meds and preferably not a one way ticket to hospital for lung scans and more anxiety! Whichever it is i just dont want my chemo to be delayed. Just when you think you are doing ok eh.... Bam... Back down you go! I hate this effing disease its just so relentless! 😞 xx
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Hey Airlinelady... I. Sorry i missed you from my message... I started typing probably about 2 hours ago before your message came through... Well done for getting through your first chemo. you sound like you're managing really well... Long may it last! I found eating little and often fought of the nausea and ate quite a lot. Keep that glass of wine in your sights, its well worth the wait!!
Hope you sleep well tonight.
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Good evening Jems...
I hope you are all well whatever stage you are at in your treatments... Onegirl welcome to the the Jems i am sorry you have to join us but be reassured we are one mighty posse of determined ladies and we will support you whenever you need... I have had a lot of support from our group and never feel alone knowing there is always someone here I can rant to.
For all those Jems who haven't signed in for a while... Welcome back! Sarah and Morwenna more and more TN amongst us Jems. It seems there may be more of us TN in the Jems than not! Quite a strange coincidence... But also quite comforting that no one needs to feel in a minority in our group. Morwenna I have also had a few chest problems with my first FEC, intermittent pains that may be an infection after surgery, feels a bit sore like an infection so off to see DR for my weekly paranoia visit tomorrow... Ive never been so hung up on my ailments before its quite annoying that BC makes you so much more aware of EVERY ache and pain. I also had a little panic attack over the weekend which is totally not surprising, but it did come as a surprise at the time as I dont feel anxious so I suppose chest pain could be anxiety... Oh the joys of feeling like my body is a bag of rusty old nuts and bolts which quite frankly I feel like chucking in the skip 🙂
Helhel, Red Admiral and Onegirl I hope all your treatments went ok yesterday and youre all resting well with not too many side effects... sending big virtual hugs. I hope the days ahead run quickly and you're soon out of the foggy toxic cloud xx
Yvonne I live by Mont Blanc up in the mountains... Its beautiful and very snowy at the moment. Sometimes i have to pinch myself to remind me that i actually live here! We found ourselves here by chance when we were travelling and that was 3 years ago. As beautiful as it is I do feel quite out on a limb at times and miss home and family very much, especially now I have my son and also since ive been Dx... Still I would never grumble as I do feel blessed to have had this opportunity.
Rhondacat I hope you're relaxing at home and are recovering well with your family looking after you. Im really pleased you managed to have the next treatment on time... Another one down!
Well my wig has finally arrived... I had to order off the internet so it was a bit of a wild card. I went for long like my usual style but with a fringe so as not too see wig line... I haven't named her yet Im still just staring at her on the stand and waiting for inspiration! Its very nice, real hair, the extra long fringe needs trimming above my nose haha... but mostly it looks great with my beanie so as its so cold here until April/May I can get away with my hat so im relatively ok with it. My bandana's also arrived frm Annabandana and they're quite nice. Easy to put on and soft material so would recommend them as they are relatively cheap. Ive also found another site, http://www.randrconfidence.co.uk/Lua_-_Corsage_Chiffon.html and they have some lovely, pretty designs for headwear so check them out if you haven't already. They are a little more expensive but very feminine and not the run of the mill designs. Im definitely going to treat myself to at least one reallly stylish head wear. I have to admit Ive shed a few tears the last few days thinking about the head shaving at the weekend... Im sure i'll be fine and the thought of it is a lot worse than the actual doing... I hope!?!
Ok so I waffle on too much every time I come on here... Its just so lovely to be able to chat with people who do understand!
Bedtime is calling... sleep tight Jems
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Day 6 after first FEC and im feeling good! I even took myself out shopping this morning, the first time in quite a long time and it felt amazing. Almost like im back to normal and it had all been just a nasty nightmare... The reality is still there but it felt great to be out and independent again! After shopping we all went for a nice walk and then we came home to make our first snowman for our little boy... All in all... A lovely Sunday!
Hope everyone else has had a little sunshine this weekend?
For those starting/having treament this week.... big hugs.. I hope it goes well for you!
Enjoy your Sunday evening Jems 🙂
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Hey tomorrow another one for the TN gang... Im starting to feel like maybe we're a little more than 15%. It seems to be becoming a lot more common.
Thats great news that you should be all finished for your 60th. Now that'll be some party celebration and well deserved after the mammoth journey you will have just come through. Im hoping that my treatment will be finished the week before my 40th birthday at the end of June. I'm keeping my fingers crossed already. I wonder how many people get through treatment on time and without setbacks?
All ive been given is paracetemol for the first few days so thats quite unsettling hearing that they can mask other things. Ive heard it a few times now. I'll try and explain it to my onc but the language barrier is tough at times. He doesn't speak any English (i live in france) and i dont want to come across like i'm telling him what his job is, Or am i being paranoid? I do have a good ear thermometer so will keep on taking my temperature before i take any paracetemol. They treat everything in France with paracetemol... After my caesarian they gave me paracetemol as well. They're just not good for the stomach either. I think i'll try and mention it. Thanks for the info.
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My fellow TN companion. I feel the same about being part of the norm... never have so far so why now I have BC! I see you live on a boat, thats a fab choice for a palace. I have many pals who live on boats and build boats and i've always had desire to do the same one day! What a beautiful lifestyle.
Ooh cheeky little ginger cakes sound delightful... and very easy to make so thats good for me! I'm off shopping today so will pick up the ingredients and have a go at them. Ive just had my first ginger tea... Not bad at all! I think they've overloaded it with sucrose so not brilliant but its a start on my, 'i really love ginger' campaign! Im not sure if its the same as ginger beer, but i managed to get hold of some ginger ale, the weaker relative so i may even try that today.
I think sharing recipes is a fab idea so if anyone else has found something that you cant live without while on chemo the i'd love to know more.
Me personally, well ive gone for what i used to cook for my mum when she had chemo which is macaroni cheese with mushroom and a little crispy bacon. My OH cooks a casserole dish of it and it does me the first few days of mini meals which has worked great for keeping the nausea at bay... Mini meals all the way for me. Macaroni cheese.. very simple;
2 x rashers bacon cooked crispy (fat cut off)
1 cup mushroom (diced and fried in low fat olive oil spray)
1 pint white sauce made with cornflour, skimmed milk and lots of lowfat cheese (emmental) grated in
Cook everything and then layer in a little casserole dish and bake in oven with lots of cracked black pepper and bit more cheese on top... yummy and very easy on the palette!
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Ive just stocked my cupboard with a range of gingery treats... im hopng the more i eat the more i'll get to love it! Thanks for the tip Yvonne.
Sarah the port was just a day procedure and its been great as ive very few decent veins in my arms so i think they made the decision based on that. Its a little stiff and sore after they put it in for a few days but i hardly notice its there now.
Rhondacat im so pleased to hear you're feelng better. Long may it last!
Welcome to the Jems Sue... Here's to sharing the load, the highs and lows, laughter and tears and the love and support to boost you when you need it most. We are quite a big group so know you have an army of Jems behind you.
Caroline i haven't heard a whisper of any trials but im HER- and everything else negative unfortuntately so maybe there's nothing for us TN folk at the moment. Is anyone else TN in the Jems?
Red Ad ive just completed FEC 1 and it was fine.. No nasty side effects to write about and i still functioned well for my little boy who's one, running everywhere and teething so im pleased I was able to function pretty much normally.
Christine my seroma has got worse since i had chemo... I had it drained when i got my port fitted and it was great but now its really sore again. Im seeing asomeone about it on Tuesday, im hoping they will drain it again.
Has anyone got nice plans for the weekend? Im hoping to get out for a nice walk round the lake this afternoon and take my little boy sledging... and maybe try a bit shopping later if the walk doesnt zap all my energy.
Happy weekend to all 🙂 ynne xxx
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i just want to say how brave i think you are dealing with this away from your family. You certainly are a tough cookie. I live in France with my husband and 1 year old when i was diagnosed and its hard being away from everyone. I think your last question is quite a normal question when your in the waiting room... I explored every option regarding what i could feel and the smoothness etc and could it be this or that etc. In honesty we are all different and no one can say what it is until youhave your results back. You are young though and that is in your favour. It is more commonly found later on in life so take some comfort from that. Over the next few days try and be kind to yourself and keep yourself busy with nice things. Worry will wear you down... here's to hearing the sounds of 'all clear'!!!!
Sending hugs And strength to see you though the next few days...
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