Thank you all for all your replies. I must admit I did not expect any replies at the time I wrote I just wanted somewhere to vent my feelings.
Unfortunately my wife cannot take anti-depressants due to yet another serious illness she has. She was on them for years before someone spotted what was really wrong with her. Its a very rare physical illness that leaves her confined to a wheelchair. For some 8 years they told her it was all in her head then they found that she really was ill. So she does not have the highest regards for doctors. The anti -depressants were one of the worst things she could have taken.
I tried bringing the subject up when we have been in the doctors together. The problem is we cope. May sound backward but because we do, especially me, they seem to think we can keep on coping. I tried visiting the doctor alone but all I get is we will chat when you are with your wife. Next time we visited together basically the doc did not want to know. Your coping so keep on coping attitude.
Her cancer doctor / consultant is in London. She goes to London for treatment for her other illness while she is there she goes and sees him for her cancer care. So there is no way I can go to London. I doubt if the consultant would see me anyway without her being there.
So thanks again for all the support. I really is appreciated. Nice to know there are some nice people out there. The feeling of being alone is a little less knowing there are others who can appreciate in some way how I feel.
Thanks girls 🙂
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My wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer some 2 years ago now. I said right from the begining that I would support her in what ever way I could. In that respect I can honestly say I have. I try and take as much pressure off her as I can, without making her feel 'out of it' so to speak.
She is, or was, a lovely woman but the effects of Tomoxifen are really getting to me. I do practically everything in the house but when I vacuume I am "doing it on purpose just to annoy me" and some other REALLY nasty comments from her. When I walk the dog I am "only doing it to get away from her". So I say ok I will stay in. "thats right take it out on the dog" Ok then we will both go out and walk the dog "***** off you are being awkward!" If it was not so tragic it would be funny.
She says some really nasty and cruel things. Ok I keep telling myself its not her its the drugs but its really begining to have an effect on me. I starting to get very depressed and feel like I am walking on egg shells all the time. I cannot even ask her if she would like a coffee, "I am perfectly cabable of getting my own!" Then if I make one for myself its "you never think of me"
I am sitting here in another room in tears while she is in the other room ranting at the television. I probably sound like a real whimp but I am not. So many times I have even felt like hitting her for the snide comments she makes. I never have and hope never would.
Tried suggesting she goes back to the doctors and ask to go on another brand of Tomoxifen but all I get is "why should I!"
Its ok suggesting she gets some help but she does not think there is a problem with her. Over the years I have lost contact with past friends because we simply dont go out anymore.
Sorry to rant on, but I just had to tell someone.
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