Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi, starting to feel a little more normal again so think we are the same Louise. always seem to get shattered the weekend after chemo and sleep loads. Also get really weird scary dreams, not sure if that is chemo or just me going mad !! Got the excitement of a visit to the tip today as my son mowed the lawn for me yesterday. I certainly know how to live !! Murdo2323 - agree totally with you. Have felt very lonely this week and quite emotional. Feel a bit like I am losing touch with the outside world and friends especially. They were great at the start but I guess they have their own lives as well and somehow I don't seem to have much contact with them or get the invites out the way I used too. Part of me wants to go back to work just for the contact with other humans but know I am not strong enough at the moment as my job is very stressful at the best of times !! Well no sun today but still hoping to get out for a while with Mary. She is such a good kid and never complains when I am not strong enough to do much. Think she is 10 going on 30 at times !! Let's hope we all start feeling stronger this week. K x PS - Been very bad with food as just eat what I want when I want lately. At first I was very good and ate only healthily but now keep eating junk. Have had a problem with weight and been moaned at by onc nurse to put some back on which perhaps is why I am eating rubbish. Nothing tastes the same anyway ! ... View more

Actually managed to get dressed today. Got my son and his girlfriend over so just cooked loads of bacon butties. Had forgotten how much he eats !! Really want to go out walking but know I would feel awful if I do !! Planning to go to the garden centre tomorrow and have a planting spree. Mary wants to grow strawberries and tomatoes. Hoping some of Erica's energy passes to me fairly quickly though have been better this time than the 3rd session so I shouldn't complain too much. ... View more

Louise, know how you feel. Have been totally wiped out today and barely got off the settee. Snacked a bit but couldn't be bothered to make much effort. Even Mary has seemed worn out today which at least meant she didn't want to do anything either. Hoping I can be a bit more lively tomorrow. K x ... View more

The sun certainly seems to help and bucks me up a bit. 4 days since 4th chemo and starting to feel totally shattered. Curled up in bed at 9pm last night and only just got up. Still getting so hot at night and have very strange dreams !! Erica, can't have Hickman line as I have a blood disorder which increases the chance of a blood clot so apparently it is too dangerous for me. Still trying to do little things with Mary. Took her and a friend to the pub for a bag of crisps yesterday which was such a small thing but they loved it. Quite enjoyed being sat in the sun with a glass of wine but not sure the wine was a good idea as had a banging headache after it !! Not sure what today will bring as just feel like I want to go back to bed. Just want to feel normal again !! K x ... View more

Hi Tina and Janey, my hair started falling out on day 18 after 1st chemo. Filled several bins of it as it was very long !! Decided to have it shaved which was far less emotional that I thought it would be. Rarely wear my wig and even go out without a bandana at times. Hope you both are ok. The SE's can be pretty awful but the support on this thread is great. Lala - how far through are you ? Glad we can make you laugh it is such a strange time for all of us. K x ... View more

Hi all (esp sue !!) was just flicking through the forums and came to this one. Sue is right I ended up on Iv antibiotics for 48 hours with thrombophlebitis. It was extremely painful and spread right up my arm into my armpit. Took oral antibiotics for another week after coming out of hospital. Had 4th chemo on Tuesday and nurse warned that if it flared up again they would consider stopping chemo as I am not able to have a Hickman line and can't have chemo in other arm due to lymphodoema ! Had to call hosp today as it has flared up but was told to use Hc45 cream as well as the Voltarol that they gave me before as it is more likely to be chemical phlebitis from the pink poison (Epi) rather than being infected again. The creams are helping a bit. will have to see oncologist before 5th session for him to assess if he gives me anymore. If anyone has this problem please don't ignore it. It can be v serious if it is infected and not treated promptly K x ... View more

Luckily didn't end up in hospital today. Onc nurse told me to get some E45 with hydrocortisone and use that as well Voltarol so giving it a go. She doesn't think it is infected but says it is chemical phlebitis caused by the pink poison !! Will need to see oncologist before next session as he may still decide not to give me any more chemo. Actually had a lovely day. Took my little girl to town and both had our nails painted which was fun. Had lunch out and then a wander round town. It was so nice it being sunny for a change. A peaceful evening with a couple of glasses of red so feeling quite chilled now though wide awake because of the steroids. Liz Definitely get chemo face for a couple of days each time. Eyebrows and eyelashes on their way. The eyelashes are driving me mad and my eyes feel really gritty. K x ... View more

Oh well. Will be back at hospital again tomorrow as vein has already become infected and is hurting like hell. Put it off tonight which was probably a bit daft but ex-OH has been round as it's his birthday and actually had a really good evening together. Ok girls...heard you all sighing and saying I am mad !! Still not going back there but was good to see him. Will keep you posted and please keep an eye on your veins !!! Oncologist may well put a stop to my chemo now but that needs to be discussed very seriously before a decision is made. Hope everyone going through it tomorrow gets on OK K x ... View more

Hi, as long as SE's not too bad I will be there. If I can't make it nearer to the data I will let you know. Fingers crossed I don't end up back in hospital this time as it becoming pretty boring !! Really looking forward to meeting you all. Karen ... View more

Erica, Hope all goes well and we get to meet up in a couple of weeks. Karen x ... View more

Just back from 4th chemo. Must admit I really didn't want to go today and felt very nervous but now its over. Just the SE's to look forward to !! Was told that the risk of my vein getting infected again is very high and if it does they may not do any more chemo as I am not allowed Hickman line as I have a high risk of blood clots !!! Not sure if I feel relieved I may not have any more or just worried. Will be rubbing the voltarol cream in regularly in hope that it will help. Was talking to onc nurse about sore throat and other sore bits !! Apparently the Epicrubin (the pink one) is the one that causes that as it destroys the lining in the throat, stomach and your private bits !!! Also talked to her about genetic testing as both Mum and I have had breast cancer. She gave me some good advice which I want to pass on just in case it helps anyone. I told her Mary would be tested at 18 and she advised that I don't do that as it would mean big problems with her getting life insurance, mortgages, jobs etc even if it is negative. Her advice is that I get tested rather than Mary and only take the additional step if I am tested positive but even then to go for genetic counselling first. Well about to tackle the ironing before the SE's kick in. K x PS - got no Easter eggs ....... how sad !! ... View more

Libby, Adam is 21 and a student paramedic so another sensible, wise one !! He was a bit put out but I promised I would talk to him as soon as I got home which I did but at least it gave me a chance to decide what to say. It's very difficult to know the right thing to do but I have tried to protect the kids a bit about what is going on. My youngest is only 10 but she has been wonderful and seems to take it in her stride. Karen x ... View more

Libby, not sure if it's helpful but my son wanted to come for results with me and I wouldn't let him as I was concerned about his feelings if things were not good. Took a friend instead and that worked better for me as I could be indulgent with my feelings at that time rather than worry about Adam. It also gave me time to think through what I would say to the kids. Think that I would have gone on my own if there wasn't an option to take a friend K x ... View more

I also seem to have a constant sore throat, runny nose and tight chest though haven't had a proper cold.Think the runny nose is to do with losing nasal hair. Since 3rd chemo feel very achy in my bones which drives me mad !! Is anyone else getting achy ?? Guess it's just something else to put up with for a while. K x ... View more

Hi, admire all of you that have been working through this. Have not been to work since 1st op, think I could have worked a few days between 2nd and 3rd chemo but amazed how much worse I have been after 3rd. Still don't feel fully recovered but number 4 is on Tuesday. Officially half way through chemo now HURRAY. Spoke to my oncologist about work and he has told me he would not recommend me going back until 1 month after my rads which means September !!! Unfortunately my bank manager is not quite so concerned about my health as my bank balance so going to have to try to go back to work in June and work while I am having rads. Went to visit Mum yesterday and think she did recognised me which was good. Had a great day although it was very long. Left home 7:15am and got home at 10:30pm. Have done very little today !! Still get very emotional although it does seems worse the 1st week after chemo. Well my little girl comes back from her Dad's tonight so think tomorrow will be a girlie shopping trip with breakfast thrown in and then a visit to cinema to see Nanny MacPhee. Could do with a good laugh. Van, it does seem that BC comes with lots of other things but I guess eventually we will all come through it stronger. Sure there will be someone out there for me, just seem to choose the wrong one's at the moment ! I remember my hair getting everywhere and it drove me mad. Am used to being bald now and in some ways it is quite liberating. My eyebrows have thinned and my eyelashes are starting to come out which makes my eyes feel quite gritty ! K x ... View more

Hi Anne, Seems most of us have had the same experience. My hair started coming out in handfuls around day 11. Was in hospital at the time and the bin ended up full of my hair !!! Had it shaved a few days later and despite thinking I wouldn't cope with it it was far easier than I thought. Had bought a wig ready but have hardly worn it. Usually wear a bandana when I am out but nothing indoors. Took the kids some getting used to but now it is just how I am. Have even been out with friends and just taken the bandana off. Did feel at first that people were looking at me but in reality it was me that thought that rather than people staring. I do still get a strange sensation in my scalp at times but actually my hair has grown a little. Been waiting for it to come out again but it seems to like being about 1/2 long instead of right down my back as it was a few weeks ago !! Good news is that I don't have to shave my legs or armpits anymore and pretty much got a free Brazilian !!! Take care, you will get through this. K x ... View more

Teresa, Hope you got some sleep and feeling a bit better today.It doesn't seem fair that on top of everything we have to suffer even more. Got my next session on Tuesday so will take some spare clothes just in case !! My chemo only takes 1 1/2 hours perhaps I am on a different 1 than you. On FEC. On my last day of antibiotics so hopefully the upset stomach will finally settle. Fed up spending more time in the bathroom than any other room now !! K x ... View more

Am looking forward to seeing Mum but sadly she is in a nursing home and is very confused so it is unlikely she will even recognise me especially with no hair !! I have not told her about the cancer as she wouldn't remember. Mum had breast cancer many years ago and she got through it so that's my inspiration. Love my cousin too bits so will be great seeing him. Am travelling to Leicester station for him to pick me up and then he will drive me down. Not sure about anyone else but seem to find myself less confident about driving at the moment. Good luck to all for the next session. Am hoping I don't end up in hospital yet again !!! Happy Easter all K x ... View more

Thought I would just say hello again. Vein recovering well and swelling going down. Spoke to oncologist yesterday and he says he is still happy for next chemo to happen on 6th April. Have got a good mate taking me. Ironically it is a guy I went out with about 3 years ago for a few months and although it didn't work out between us he has been fantastic. Picked me up from the hosp and came over at the weekend and wouldn't let me lift a finger. Shame it didn't work out really. Have made the nurses laugh as have gone with a different person each time and when they asked why I said it because no-one could put up with taking me more than once !! Don't think the kids will even think about getting me an Easter egg !! Never really ate chocolate till I started my chemo and now eat some most days. Haven't put on any weight though as usually have very bad upset stomach between sessions. My onc says it's due to all the antibiotics he prescribes "just in case". Have lost over a stone since being diagnosed but maybe some of that is due to ex-OH !! Well let's hope the weather improves for Easter. My cousin is taking me to Essex to visit my Mum. Will be great to see her as haven't seen her since January due to all the treatment. Hope you all have a great Easter and loads of expensive choccies K x ... View more

Hi all, Was wondering as well about when the next meet is to be. Having chemo 6th April but hopefully if it is after Easter hols I will be well enough to join you. Looking forward to it. K x You will recognise me by my bald head !!! ... View more