Breast Cancer Now Forum

Well lovely bunnies, I'm done! No more surgery, no more chemo and now no more rads. Last one was this afternoon. I cannot believe it! OH and I fell into each others arms and hugged and hugged when we left the hospital. It's strange. I feel elated, yet I feel almost deflated. My boob is red and sore, but hopefully won't split. Fingers crossed. I was told today that I will have another appt with the radiology onc - in about 5 weeks, just to check everything is ok. Then I see the clinical trial team, including the chemo onc or registrar, just before Christmas, then back to the surgical team who manage the follow up over the next few years. Hilary, I still have some pins and needles in my hands - I've assumed it is part of the palmar plantar syndrome. I also have stiff wrists and ankles which I've been told is probably due to the anastrazole and this should lessen as time goes on. So awful to feel old and stiff, but like Little Chick I'm sure exercise helps so I'm off to the gym again tomorrow. No matter if I dont do much, it is all in the right direction. I've been told that there is research that shows those who exercise do better in recovery than those that don't ..... so come on, get to it bunnies, get hopping!!!! No time right now to mention everyone except to send love and best wishes. Saturday is almost upon us!!! Fab. Can't wait. Lots of love, margiexxxx ... View more

Hi everyone. this is just a very quick post To Vanns to send a giant sized bunny hug Xxx. Will try and post properly later. love, margiexxx ... View more

Bunnytastic! Lots of posts again. Vanns and Nats, lovely to see you both back. Vanns, I sent you an enormous bunny hug last night when I read the lovely things you had said to me in your post ... Did you feel the hugs? Hope so. Buddy sounds beautiful. little chick, so so so pleased with your good news. It is wonderful to be told you are NED isn't it. Somehow I am extra pleased in your case to hear it because you had a rocky ride, especially in the early days. Wendy, I'm so sorry to hear about your nails. It is a horrible reminder of everything the drugs have done to our bodies, and when we set off on this journey I'm sure we all, like me, imagined life would be getting back to normal by now. I'm pleased we didn't have the foresight to know how long it would take. I certainly don't think I could have kept as positive as I did all through chemo had I known the SEs would still be coming now. I am watching my nails like a hawk, not that I could do anything about it if they are going to fall off. One big toe nail is lifted across the top and all down one side across a third of the nail. Others are slightly lifted and on one thumb nail I have a lifted patch in the centre of the nail. Just wondering what that is going to do when it grows to the end of the nail. Wendy, hope the bronchitis is improving. Big M, thank goodness for you having the portacath removed. It will be such a relief I'm sure. Poor pixie that she has to contend with hers for so much longer, and with all her problems. Gadget gal, pleased to hear the surgery is now behind you and that you have now reconciled the need for the mastectomy. Southpool, I agree with others, your rads delays and the attitude of the staff are totally unacceptable. I'm not surprised you have rads rage. I hope your meeting today sorts something out. Like Wendy, Im in and out in no time at all and the staff are all really nice. They are very efficient and get on with the job in hand as quickly as they can but they also always have time to ask how I am, what I've been doing/have planned. That's how it should be. No matter how busy your team is, there is no excuse for treating you like a lump of meat in this way. neverthless, alhough the experience is a lot better than yours, I do have to say that I am finding rads a lot harder than I expected. I think it is the tediousness of it all, every day, 30-35 mins drive each way, the search and scramble for a parking space, the walk t the department etc etc, and now it is nearly finished - just three more to go - I am so fed up with it. I am very tired, sore, worried i will split, want it all to be finished, want to be normal again, want my energy levels back, want my hair back .... the list is endless and I find myself crying more than I could have imagiined. It just comes out of nowhere. Desperate sobs often at the most inappropriate moments. then my oh notices I'm struggling to hold back the floodgates and as soon as he gives me a kind word or reaches out to squeeze my hand, whatever, it just makes me worse. Also I am ratty with him and he doesn't deserve that at all after everything he has done and is doing. Im interested that some buns are starkers on the top half during rads. I have a very stylish (not) blue scrubs type jacket to keep during the whole of rads time. It zips up the front and has Velcro along the shoulder and side seams to provide easy access from whichever direction they want and to maintain modesty a bit ... Of course the boob gets exposed during the actual rads but not my spare tyre thank goodness - spare tyre that refuses to budge, is bigger than before bc and is adding to the fed up state described above ....! So, on to Pixie. Mistress of the warren. You know I am thinking of you throughout. You put us to shame though with your energy and joie de vivre throughout - no, let me phrase that another way ... You are an inspiration to us all with your energy and joie de vivre and I know the last thing you would want to feel is that you put any of us to shame. As always, thank you so much for everything - starting the forum, giving us so much positivity, organising the bunnyfest .... Everything. Take care of yourself bunny, you need it as much as we all do. so on to bunnyfest. Pixie, the programme is wonderful and intriguing too. Like others, I am soooooo excited and can't wait. I am so sorry some bunnies can't join us and really feel for those that cant, especially as our excitement builds in our postings and there is more and more talk of it. bunny boxes, bunny quiz .... As I said, intriguing. And the menu sounds amazing. We will all be hard pushed to know what to choose without stuffing our little fat tummies so much that we don't have room for cream tea!!! Bunnies who can't be there .... Fear not, we will be thinking of you. And we will do something in 2013 too when hopefully we will all be feeling soooooo much better and fitter. Christine I'm sorry you have had to drop out late in the planning. Where are you? Not heard from you for a while. as always, so many people we've not heard from in a while - teabelly, you came back for one posting and have gone again, hyzenthlay we've not heard from you for ages and ages .... And finally .... We had a brilliant time seeing our dil play in her am dram musical on Tuesday night. She was fantastic. Lovely to see our youngest grandson (14 months) too and have cuddles. This weekend we have our youngest son (31!!!!) coming to stay. Then next weekend it is bunnyfest. Yipppeeeeeee! Pixie, I trust you got my pm confirming sleepover arrangements? Thats all for now. Thinking of you all, lovely bunnies, and still enjoying campo's spa everyday!!! love, Margiexxx PS I never did get a reply from bcc to my pm about the censorship .... But I've moved on. Xxx ... View more

Hello gorgeous bunnies. thanks so much to everyone for all the supportive comments regarding my censorship. It is so reassuring to know others have also been censored. I don't feel half so bad about it Now. I've not heard back from bcc as to what they censored but I think I have worked it out for myself - at least I can see where one descriptive word has been deleted and a verb changed, this in a sentence describing the nurse who 'messed up' my veins. Interestingly the verb I used is derived from the word little chick said a few postings ago is allowed. The other was a common use noun that dog lovers will be familiar with (of the female variety)!!! Just goes to show how arbitrary some of this censorship is! Still, I've put it behind me now, thanks to all of you. Knuckles rapped. Bunny tail now between my legs! pixie I am so impressed by you getting cherie Blair to write about you and the happy bags. Delighted to know that as the oldest bunny in the warren I have lost a year ... Bunnies ranging in age between 30 and 62 According to cherie's article. Iam a very young at heart 63 year old, although I often feel a lot older just at the moment. Mostly I reckon 60 is the new 40. Still with pixie, you have made me laugh with the pigeon story. And I am not surprised Aunty Mary is not happy with her replacement jigsaw. Who would want to have to redo an entire 1000 word jigsaw to find those two missing pieces. Hope she gets a nice new one in return, without tons of sky or tons of grass or tons of sea or any other sort of sameness. I've been wondering if the Mac 3 are still making their green bags and if they will be available to help you with production now you are going viral. You have done so brilliantly. Amazing you have well and truly topped the £4000 mark. Star. mary, I was so sorry to hear you felt you had to wear the wig all the time on holiday in Cyprus, but not of us can help how we feel about our baldness. It is such a deeply personal thing. I have days when I know I have to cover up but most of the time now I am wearing one of a selection of caps that I have bought .... I was about to say where from, but expect it would be censored out! I hardly ever wear Minny (wig) these days, but sometimes she just has to come out to play because of how I feel. elaine, I am pleased you have been reassured about the 6 months versus 12 for your trial. wendy, hope the bronchitis is on the mend. You asked about follow up appointments .... I had my last onc appointment in mid September and if it wasn't for the fact that I have gone onto the REACT trial that would be it as far as apps with the onc team go. This was one of the reasons I was so pleased to go onto this clinical trial because it means I am seen by the onc team every three months for two years - otherwise, zilch. I have an appointment with the surgeon scheduled for march 8 and that would have meant a gap of 6 months between seeing anyone. I'm also intrigued to know what will happen after the march appointment, ie when I will be seen again after that. I've been told by one medic that the surgical team will see me every three months but but another medic that the surgeon will do annual reviews. As I said, thank goodness for the three monthly check ups that I get with the trial. I've been taking my trial drugs for three weeks, no side effects yet, at least not that I am aware of. How about you Gaynor? I know you are on the same trial. as for SEs with the hormone therapy and choice of drug ... I am on anastrozole as I am positively post menopausal, and now I am back to having hot flushes and night sweats. What joy! I don't know if the joint probs I have - tightness in wrists and ankles mainly - is due to the AI or is more associated with the palmar plantar syndrome ... Anyone's guess. well, oh has just come to reclaim his iPad so I will close now. Sorry not to have mentioned more people by name, but we all know how much we are all thinking of one another. less than two weeks to go now to BF ... Events coordinator indeed .... Can't wait! lots of love to everyone. Big hugs. margiexxxx ... View more

Lovely bunnies, good morning. i have been censored. I saw last night that I had a pm in my messages and went to open it in great excitement wondering which bunny had got in touch with me, only to find it was from bcc to say they had removed some offensive words from one of my postings. I pm'd straight back to ask what I had said and in which posting and await their reply today. i have gone through every possible emotion since receiving their pm. From confused to angry to devastated. I was so shocked that I Have apparently said something offensive that I feel as if I have been trodden on by a big hobnail boot and crushed. I have gained so much support and benefit from this forum and hope I have given some back in return and in an instant I feel bcc have taken so much from me. I feel I have been punched to the ground and kicked. I perhaps this sounds extreme but in the vulnerable post chemo / currently having rads state that is how I feel. i apologise to all you lovely bunnies if I have offended you. You all mean too much to me for any offence to have been intended. that's it for now. Love to everyone. Thinking of you all. margiexxxx ... View more

Morning bunnies. Well, it seems the problems Kingsmill Hospital have had with breast cancer pathology were to do with oestrogen receptor tests undertaken between 2004 and 2010, so before my time thank goodness. This led to some unfortunate women not receiving oestrogen therapy which might have benefitted them. But this morning someone is quoted as saying some other women may have had chemo when it wasn’t necessary. I think there is a lot more to come out of the woodwork. I'll keep you informed. As for mammograms missing tumours, I've always known this is quite widespread - what bugs me in my case is that they clearly saw something on my November mammogram as they did recall me. But I am convinced their 'cock up' was that they recalled me for the wrong breast and that's why my tumour was missed at that stage. I really feel for those other bunnies who, like me, were missed for whatever reason. It is so interesting to compare notes. Kingsmill Hospital has a raft of problems at the moment, aside from this pathology problem - they have no money. It is a lovely hospital, really bright and modern. It's only been open a couple of years, but was built on a private finance initiative and of course now can't afford to keep up the repayments. The Chief Exec has resigned and now all sorts of investigations are going on into the way the hospital is run. The one thing I keep holding onto is that I cannot fault my surgeon nor the chemo team (other than the nurse who messed up my veins on my second infusion, who I will never forgive). I've been satisfied with every other aspect of my care so far. We can't and mustn't dwell on the what ifs as we'd all go mad. We just have to deal with the what now and try to think positive, though heaven knows, with splitting boobs (sounds horrific), nails dropping off (ouch), sore feet, sore boobs, facial hair, no energy etc etc and of course Pixie's portacath problems and everything else we are singly or collectively going through that's not always so easy. I’m thinking of everyone and sending love. Not mentioning people by name today because I’d be here forever, but I do just want to say to you Hilary that I was so sorry to hear about your friend. How terribly sad. Onwards .... we had a fabulous time with our son, dil and 2 grandsons over the weekend. The sun shone for us and we went in search of Robin Hood in Sherwood Forest on Sunday. I managed to hobble around the forest – the paths are really well laid out, so that even wheelchairs and mobile scooters can get around so hobbling was possible!! This week we have my OH’s company accountants annual do tonight in Peterborough, themed around the 1960s, and then my sister coming overnight on Thursday. Next week we have my other dil’s am dram show to go to – it’s a musical comedy (The Drunken Chaperone if any one’s heard of it) and she is the lead female. A talented young lady!!! And this gives us the opportunity to see our third grandson .... and then in no time at all it will be bunnyfest. Whoo-hooo!! Better get on and get dressed, then pack a suitcase for tonight. Southpool, you must be back by now. Hope your fabulous holiday stays in your mind for a long time. Great you are booking ahead for next year. Pixie, good luck for tomorrow. Nat, Vanns etc, where are you? Hilary, the naughty punkawallahs are still drawing on my boob, but only 9 more rads to go!!! Take care lovely bunnies. Love to you all. Margiexxx PS Bummer, my internet connection has gone down ... luckily have saved this post onto my Word docs so will try and send later this morning .............. ... View more

Hi bunnies. it never rains but it pours. Have you picked up on the news that kingsmill hospital in Mansfield is undergoing investigation about misdiagnosis in breast cancer patients, mainly it seems they have had problems with the pathology of bc patients. Well folks, that's my hospital. At the moment I feel numb, trying to digest the news and wondering if there are any implications for me. I think probably not, but nevertheless it is really worrying. Just as I was reading the Guardian link from Sara's post about people having long term worries after they finish treatment, this news popped up on the bbc online newsfeed. Great. I've never been able to reconcile in my own mind the fact that although my tumour was only 1cm and I was told it was a young tumour, grade 2, and yet in a matter of weeks it had not only grown so that I could feel it but it had also spread to my lymph nodes. ive never gone into the cock up of my original mammogram here on the forum, but I'll share that with you now. I had a routine mammogram in mid November 2011 and was recalled for a further mammogram and ultrasound for my right breaSt. This was done in early December and I was given the all-clear for both breasts and told I needed no further examination until my next routine mammogram in what? Two years? three years? Not sure which it would have been. Then less than three weeks later I felt the tumour in my LEFT breast. I paid for the original mammogram to be reviewed by another radiologist and sure enough the tumour was showing in my left breast in that first mammogram. My only conclusion is that I was recalled for the wrong breast, but I've always thought what if I hadn't felt the tumour myself, how long would it have gone undetected and would it then have been too late for successful treatment. I'm now thinking were my margins really clear following surgery and what else is going to come out of the woodwork at kingsmill hospital. sorry this post is an offload from me. Just had to share it all. I'll try and post tomorrow to answer other people's posts. meanwhile hugs and love to everyone. margiexx ... View more

Oops, just started to retread my posting and it sounds as if I was hoping Sara would have SEs. Quite the opposite was intended.... xxx ... View more

Morning bunnies. Can't believe it is Friday already. Only three weeks to go to bunnyfest. Reminder to self - must get those bunerasers ..... Eh? That was supposed to be bunny ears .... Have stolen OH's iPad again, so into auto correcting. Sara, belated happy birthday. Hope you had a great day with minimal SEs to spoil it (perhaps that is wishful thinking, but I can hope it for you, and for all of us.) I was so sorry to read about your uneven hair growth and worries about the alopecia, also about the ongoing probs with your nails. Wendy, yes, your feet sound about as painful as mine tho I'm 'lucky' in that mine aren't peeling yet. Fingers crossed they don't ever, but I do wish the swelling would go down and the awful pain would go away. I am so sorry you can't come to BF. Little chick too. Wendy, I can understand that both the drive or the train would be out of the question for you right now. Perhaps we will have another BF in the spring when we are all feeling much better .... Lee, are you sure your feet probs are due to the arimidex? The soreness you describe sounds similar to mine and Wendy's, so perhaps it is palmar plantar with you too? Is foot soreness indicated as a poss SE with air index? (Arimidex). I'm now just going into my 6th week of arimidex (now being called air idea by iPad) and am not aware of any SEs as yet. Lucky me. Pixie myxi bunny, what can we say except so sorry to hear your probs continue. I really really feel for you. You must try and slow down a bit and give yourself some of that gentle time you are always telling others to have, but it just isn't in your psyche is it. I'm sorry you are having to keep contacting the Hilton, especially as I know I am one of the bunnies who changed things and gave you more work. Sorry! How exciting to be doing some work with Wilkins and sons. I am a great fan of their products, especially their marmalade. Hope you do get some to take home for you and OH. Libby, hope you manage to have a good discussion with your onc about your herceptin trial and get a satisfactory outcome. Don't forget you can always opt out of any clinical trial. It is your right to do so. I have started my clinical trial - REACT, taking the NSAID celecoxib every day for two years, like Gaynor. So far so good. No probs. just take 2 tabs a day, at the same time. Just hope I haven't got the placebo! Must get up and do something now. I'm still in bed! lazy so and so! I've got beds to make up and things - got our oldest son, dil and two grandsons coming tomorrow, overnight. can't wait for my 'cuggles' with my two lovely little boys. all those buns that I haven't mentioned, I'm sending love and good vibes to all of you too. Have a fabulous weekend everyone, SEs permitting ... Chemo is now but a receding memory! love, margiexxx ... View more

Hi bunnies Where to start? The trouble with only posting once a week or so is that there always seems to be so much to say. I would post more often but - my usual moan - that I wish I could post direct from my phone and didn't have to get the laptop out every time (or steal OH's iPad). Wish BCC would sort out this particular glitch in the system. Ah well ..... The other glitch I'm having at the moment is that the forum is back to sending me two emails every time there is a post, one informing me there's been a post and the other giving me the full message. I don't think this is ever going to be properly sorted out. Anyway, on with what is bound to be a long posting .... First, Tracy so pleased to see you back. Next, Gaynor, my GP surgery only prescribes one month at a time too. When questioned, they say it is down to guidelines to reduce wastage. Don't know if these are national or local guidelines, but they say if they prescribe 3 months and then the doc decides to change the scrip half way through then half the drugs on the original scrip are wasted. Crazy cos that certainly doesn't apply to our hormone treatments which aren'tgoing to change but it's a case of one rule for all. At my surgery you actually have to place an new order for the drugs EVERY SINGLE month. They wont do automatic repeat prescriptions. Luckily though my sainsbury pharmacy have a service whereby they order the drugs for me and I just have to go to the store to collect them every month. Much easier. Perhaps you could investigate that in your area. Well done all those bunnies who are managing to go out walking, also well done those who are back working. I'm so pleased I'm no longer working, but wish I was more up to walking. Mary, great news about your MRI. Little chick and Christine, I'm really sorry about the lymphoedema. Yet something else to put up with. I saw my chemo onc last week (registrar actually) who said he thought I had a very slight bit of it, but since then I have-discussed it withboth the rads onc who I saw this morning and with the rads info person at my hospital and both say they don't think I have. Fingers and everything crossed. I cringed when I read about nails snapping in two across the width. Sounds horrendously painful and I really feel for anyone who is going through this. Isn't it weird how the chemo a) affects us all in different ways and b) still keeps on coming with side effects for so many weeks after the last infusion. I am 8 weeks on now and my feet are still a nightmare. The chemo onc looked at them last week and confirmed my self diagnosis of palmar plantar syndrome, aka hand and foot. I've no peeling, but feel I'm walking on stones and glass all the time. I've got corn plasters on the tips of some toes to buffer them. Trouble is, because everyone is different they can't say how long it will go on for. I googled (oops) and see that on a lot of American websites they give advice on ways to minimise risk of this syndrome - apparently the damage is done in the first week after each dose of the F part of FEC. One bit of advice is to avoid aerobic exercise, treadmills and the like which I was still able to do a bit of in the early FEC days of chemo. Also no hot baths, but resting feet when poss, relaxing with feet up when poss......wish I'd known these bits of advice when we were first starting out on chemo. Southpool, so pleased you are having such a fab holiday. Your villa and its location sound wonderful. Pixie, I knew I could rely on you to come up with a description of what your tattoos are, that they are not just little black or grey dots! You sound extremely busy. You put me to shame! Mary, I think it was you that recommended the BCC moving on pack .... I ordered one and now I also recommend it. Everyone else, thinking of you and sorry if I've missed saying something I meant to say. And finally, Hilary. I still send thanks to you daily when I am lying in my hammock having my rads,imagining myself on the beach in the spa .... But can you tell those naughty, naughty punkawallahs to stop fiddling with my left boob while I doze and definitely to stop drawing on it every day!!!! I pass the half way point of my rads tomorrow .... It will be 13 down, 12 to go .... Lots of love to all bunnies. Back soon. Margggggiexxxxx ... View more

Hi bunnies I've been meaning to post every day this last week but haven't found time. Been keeping up with reading posts on my mobile though and thinking of you all. There are so many of us with sore feet, hands, arms, boobs etc at the moment - good vibes and big hugs to everyone. We know it will all pass eventually, but it doesn't make it any easier while it's all going on. I am seeing my onc on Wednesday and have a list as long as my sore arms (Vanns, mine are also with indented veins) of Qs for her. Hope she has a lot of time!!!! In my case, feet continue to be the biggest on-going problem. I feel 100 years old most of the time when I try to walk. I've read back over the last few pages of posts since I last contributed - so many topics have come up that I'm going to have to be a bit selective in replies. In no particular order .... Campo, well done you on getting the all-clear; Pixie, you know I'm thinking of you with your portacath probs; Gaynor, it's me going on the REACT trial - will start this following my onc appt on Wednesday; Ambarose, amazing you managed to climb Snowdon - well done you; Big M, good luck for getting the results of your MRI (tomorrow I think), let us know the outcome; Vanns, congrats on gun dog trials; Little Chick, hope the cording is better soon; Gadget-gal, hope the disclosure of bc had the right effect - how ever did you manage to keep it from your employees that you have bc, all the time you were going through chemo, hair loss etc?? Pixie, I thought your candle message at relay for life was truly wonderful - thank you. Hair: mine is growing quite well now, but is so fine and fair that I still look bald as a coot. Nevertheless I am now very bold about whipping my cap or scarf off in public places! I seem to have stopped worrying about it so much. Pixie, I loved the story about someone saying how much she liked your short style. Pepihorse, Sarabee, so pleased you have started regrowth at last. Nails: some of you seem to have awful problems with ridges and discoloration. I really feel for you. I just have different coloured rings beneath mine, different shades of red and pink. Some toenails are lifting but I am keeping everything crossed they don't come off. Sounds awful. Now, here's a question with an explanation first .... my OH and I have decided my tattoos are really tiny butterflies, so small that no one else can tell but we know what they are!! OH even went online to see which were the best and most exotic dark blue butterflies and has decided my tattoos are actually 3 little tiger eye swallowtails. I mentioned my butterflies to Southpool and she says she will always think of her tattoos now as dolphins. So come on bunnies, let us know what your tattoos really are ....???? Rads are going OK. 5 down, 20 to go. Painfree but a chore having a 2 hour plus journey every afternoon for 5 mins of zapping, like so many other buns. Campo, I send thanks to you every day when I am lying there for enrolling me in the spa. As soon as I lie back and the big light comes on I transport myself to Spa del Campo. It is brilliant! Love it. That's all for now - sorry to those I haven't mentioned but I send love to everyone. Not long now to bunnyfest ....!! Lots of love, margiexxxx ... View more

Hi again everyone Well, my ability to post direct from my HTC phone was short lived - Saturday evening must have been a freak moment as I've not been able to do it since and have only just got around to logging in on the laptop - which always seems so cumbersome now in the days of ipads and smart phones, wheras once upon a time a laptop seem so mobile!!!! Vanns, Sara12, Wendy and Little Chick, that makes 5 of us with feet problems, and some of us with hand probs too. In my case it is mainly the soles of my feet which are swollen. I have fleshy pads right up behind my toes and they are so sore when I walk on them. From the tips of my toes to my heels I am tender and tingling all the time and my fingers tingle all the time too. They all feel so numb and overstretched. Walking is difficult and I am just hoping and praying it gets better by next week because i SO much want to get back to the gym when I return from holiday. Pixie, so pleased you haven't disappeared under your portacath problems. Thinking of you. Southpool, I so admire your work ethic. Sara12 I am so pleased to hear how successful the chemo has been in shrinking your tumour. That is fantastic news and brilliant that you now only need WLE. By the way, I can completely identify with you about the sweats etc. I went through the menopause a few years ago with all the horrible hot flushes, sweats etc, usually at the most inopportune moments, but since the menopause I too continue to have night sweats and sometimes feel I am constantly throwing the duvet off then pulling it back over me. I also like t feel I have something over me. I'd prefer to sleep with just sheet in the summer, especially out here in France, but my OH prefers to have a duvet wherever we are. Little Chick, so pleased you've finished chemo. Hyzenthlay yours will soon be behind you. Campo, I meant to say to you that I was so pleased for you that you'd finished your rads. You are ahead of the rest of us. Hope you have a great hol in Yorkshire and find what you are looking for. Whereabouts in Harrogate are you staying? We moved to Hgte when I was 15 and my Mum stayed there for more than 40 years. I am a product of Harrogate Grammar School! I never really went back there to live after I went off to college, but continued to visit for many years until my Mum moved about 6 years ago. You asked where we are in France - our house is in Charente Maritime ... we are about 1 hr north of Bordeaux and about 50 mins in from the beaches of Royan. Our house is a 300 year old farmhouse with an attached barn that we fully renovated in 2003/04 to create a lovely spacious holiday home for ourselves. We are now in the process of renovating the original house to create 2 small holiday lets. We have over 2 acres of land, all mowable with lots of trees and shrubs, and we have a pool. We bought it in January 2001 and love it. Usually I try to spend most of the summer out here though of course this year I've not been able to do so. It is wonderful being here right now - the house seems to have a healing nature. We return to England on Sunday - in readiness for my ras starting on Monday. There is so much that I would like to say to so many other bunnies but my post is already getting way too long. Sufice to say, I'm thinking of you all and wishing everyone well. Lots of love, margiexxxx ... View more

Wow. I can't believe it. For the first time since the forum supposed upgrade months ago I seem to be able to post from my HTC android phone. So many posts to answer but I think I will do that tomorrow from the laptop where I can easily read back through posts. A few comments for now though. Nat, great to see you back. Gadget gal sorry to hear you still need Mx. Tracey, where are you? School is back so we want you back. Southpool hope weekend was good in harlech. Pixie, so sorry to hear your portacath probe continue. How awful for you. Sincerely hope mother's leg heals ok. Wendy, I'm with you on he neuropathy. It is very debilitating, thouGH I think pix is worse off than us. Mary thanks for heads up on the BCC moving forward info. Gaynor happy birthday for Tuesday, hope you ate having a great weekend in bath. There you go, I remembered a few comments I wanted to make. I know there are more..... Well, we got to our house in France today. All is remarkably good after being closed up for 6 months. Great to be here for a full week. Weather is unbelievable. Cobwebs everywhere but I can live with those. Our internet connection is up and running so I can keep up to speed with postings, thankfully, as I am lost with my bunny friends. I've started anastrazole 11 days ago. No SEs evident as yet. Campo, foot massage required. Is that ok? Must go. OH just dishing up a baked local fish - maigre if anyone's heard of it. It's delicious. Back soon. Love, Margiexxx ... View more

Hi everyone In a rush now, but just wanted to do a quick post as I am not sure when I'll be able to do another one ... we are away for the next two weeks. The first week we are doing various things in the London area - down with one son, wife, grandson tomorrow, then at the paralympics on Monday and Tuesday, staying "down south" on Wednesday transferring from one hotel to another and then looking after our other two grandsons on Thursday, then on Friday we have the interrment of my mother's ashes in Hampshire before heading to the ferry at Portsmouth to go to our house in France for a week. Back home on September 16th ready to start rads on September 17th. Phew, a whirlwind!!! Vanns, great to hear from you again. We have friends who live in an Ufford near Woodbridge - not sure if it is Upper or Lower (if both even exist!!!) Amazing. Pixie, I may pm their name to you in case you know them, but not tonight. Big M - there seem to be so many different protocols in different hospital trusts. I have been told from the start that I would have to have rads. I had a small grade 2 tumour and had a lumpectomy. I had to have chemo because one of the four lymph nodes they removed for sampling had cancerous cells, but rads were always on the menu for me. 25 of them, which is what they've said from the start. Teabelly - are you back from hols as yet???????? I've been knackered today. Went to Nottingham city centre today to pay a visit to John Lewis to buy a birthday present for oldest son. Walked from one end of the town centre to the other and my feet were killing me. When I had reflexology yesterday my therapist commented that my soles are swollen so it is not surprising they are painful what with swelling and peripheral neuropathy numbness. BUT i have to say overall I am better today than I was yesterday and was better yesterday than the day before, so little by little things are improving ..... sorry but I don't have time to answer anything else right now as OH is heading for bed and I want a cuddle before he goes to sleep!!! Cuddle is about it for now!!!!!! But very worthwhile .... Sleep tight bunnies. I'll be keeping up to date with your postings as I'll be able to read, but may not be able to contribute. Love to all. Keep gentle. Margggggie xxxx ... View more

Ah, since starting my mammoth posting Big M and Little Chick have both posted. Good to hear from you both. Mary have you spoken to anyone about your throat etc? It sounds as if it needs some attention, perhaps some antibiotics. Im sure we all have times when we get very down. I tend to get weepy when I'm down and I am so fed up with myself for feeling wimpy. We all just want to be well - and we will be again. I'm so Sorry you have the possible prospect of further surgery on the horizon, but good that it is non cancerous. Nevertheless I can understand it getting you down, along with all the on going side effects of chemo etc. Hunker down in the warren, have a treatment or two in the campo spa and know that we are all wih you. Little chick, well done you on doing a longer email. Great. I'm really pleased to hear the counselling has been helpful. Must get on now and do something, like drink the cup of tea I made a while ago and watch eggheads on tv. It is an exciting life! Love, margie xxx ... View more

Hello lovely bunnies. Ive just been making a list of everything I want to say and I think this may be a very long posting ..... First, Sara I have been thinking of you all day and sending positive vibes. Hope you are soon feeling fine after your surgery.send us all a quick posting as soon as you're up to it to let us know how it went. Pixie, I am still laughing from the Mac 3 + 1 saga. Hilarious and thankfully no serious after effects. I actually take my hat off to your Mum for doing herfirst BBQ at 82. Your special happy bags for the chemo nurses sound fab. Good to hear the contract has gone off to the hotel for the bunnyfest. Look forward to getting my email of further info and so pleased we have decided to stay the night so I won't be in a rush at all. The overnight rate you negotiated was really good. Rachel, yes, very proud of you. Go girl! Christine, hope your hand foot and mouth is clearing up. Nasty. Mind you, apart from the itching the symptoms sound just like my peripheral neuropathy probs that I've got as a result of taxotere. My feet and hands are a nightmare. I feel as if all the muscle fibres are stretched as far as they can be, and have pain and numbness in my fingers, toes, up the sides of my feet and under my heels. Can't wait for it to sort itself out. Sarabee, hope your tattoos are no longer sore and sorry to hear one is in a noticeable position. I'm very fortunate that mine are all in hidden places. One would show if I wore a strapless top but I haven't done that for about 20 years or more. They are also very small and faint so hardly visible. Ambarose, enjoy your cruise. Tell us all about it when you ae back. Big M do a posting please and let us know you are OK and that you weren't too miffed by us rejecting the idea of starting a new thread .... And vanns, you are still being too quiet. Let us know you are ok. Nat, not heard from you for a while .... Sameelee your business idea sounds good. Can't wait to have a link to your website when it is up and running. Southpool, what is GBBO? Do you have a holiday home in north Wales? Libby,sorry to hear you are still so tired. How are the glands? Wendy, good luck for tomorrow. Last one ..... Little chick, you'll soon be on your last one too. Hilary, I'll opt for the quad biking please. Not done this for a while but I loved it when I did do it. Exhilarating. I was very fortunate in one job I did that I got to go on all sorts of adventure things - off roading, driving on a race track and I think I've previously mentioned test driving cars on a frozen lake 125 miles north of the arctic circle .... And after the quads, lots of massage and perhaps a facial please. Sorry for anyone I've missed .... Thinking of you all. Lots of love, margie xxxx ... View more

Puff, pant, puff, pant, with a hip hop in between ..... hello bunnies, I'm back! Hilary, so sorry to have missed roll call a few times and so sorry OH didn't have a chance to send you a sick note ...... but like Hyzenthlay I've had a mini holiday courtesy of the NHS. Chemo all done and dusted, so I thought, just finish off working through those side effects, buy no, there was a final big bite on the bottom to come. On Monday (day 13 following tax 3) my temp decides to shoot up to 38.8. I phoned the chemo nurses and was told to report straight to hospital where I was put on intravenous antibiotics for 48 hours (once they managed to find a vein for the cannula). I had 5 and a half doses of the 6 prescribed before the vein decided it had had enough and the cannula popped out. The nurse suggested putting in a new one. I suggested we wait to find out if the docs thought that was necessary. Luckily they decided enough had gone in - I had a balloon the size of a small grapefruit where most of the last dose had gone into the muscle instead of the vein. I was allowed home Wednesday afternoon and have 4 days of oral antibiotics. I hadn't realised until this all happened that the magic 38 degrees means you actually have an infection, not just that you might have one. Normally your body would fight it off but of course ours can't at the moment. No sooner was I home from hospital than we got in the car and headed over to North Wales for my s-i-l's funeral which was yesterday (my onc gave me permission to go!). Anyway, back home now and I hope that everything will settle down now and we will have a few peaceful weeks months years to come .... Big excitement while i was in hosp - it coincided with my rad planning session, luckily in the same hospital, so I was transported from the oncology ward to the rad dept by electric buggy. What fun. They sure do go fast!!! Rad planning was all straightforward - pix of autumnal trees and blue sky on the ceiling above the CT scanner. I now have 3 tattoos which I know are really tiny butterflies and not just grey dots!!!! Rads start Sept 17, day after we come back from France. Arimidex is the hormone therapy I'm going on ... I start next Wednesday, 3 weeks after tax 3. I've loved reading everyone's silver linings. Mine are very similar: - the warren of course and all that it brings - the realisation of how much people care about me, which has often completely blown my mind - how wonderful my OH has been and as someone else has said it has brought us even closer - we were very close already so I wouldn't have thought that possible - the love, support and strength from my three lovely sons - again, we were already close but this has brought out so many more feelings of closeness and love than I could ever have imagined - my brilliant sister, her continuous support even though she lives almost 200 miles away, and actually expressing to one another how much we love each other - something we just took for granted before How's that for starters???? And of course I share wholeheartedly that one one Vanns - being alive!!! Big M, sorry no one has gone along with your suggestion of a new thread. I share what everyone else says that I don't want to lose this thread. I am sure that you have no need to worry about arrangements for bunny fest because we will all be fully updated by PM and we will all know exactly when and where to be present and correct. Hilary will have her register to check off names, and everything will work out just fine. Also, I love the way we are already well over 2000 postings - it's good to scroll back and see how far we've all come. I look forward to reaching 5000 postings and beyond! It's the 'starting chemo in April 2012' that brought us all together and is the glue to keep us together. Hilary, you've mentioned Teabelly on your roll call. I remember her saying she was going away for a few weeks during the school hols so I'm sure she'll be back soon. Libby I hope your glands settle down soon. I know you've mentioned them to a few people at hosp but have you mentioned them to your chemo nurse? I've found that people I've dealt with in various parts of the medical team are often only interested in their own little bit of what's going on, so don't really pay attention to things that don't concern them directly, eg radiographer intested in all things to do with his/her discipline, but not interested in swollen glands. You could of course also speak to your GP. He'll soon tell you if your glands need attention I'm sure and hopefully put your mind at rest. Think I must go and make a cup of tea ... sorry to anyone I've not mentioned by name - but be assured I'm thinking of you all and sending good vibes. Campo spa, I need some lovely aromatherapy massages please ... the spa helped me through my time in hospital ... Pixie, can't wait for Mac3 update ... Have a lovely weekend everyone. Relax! And good luck to those stragglers at the back of the queue with last chemo still to come. Big hugs. Margie xxx ... View more

PS meant to add that I'm sending special hugs to Nat. Xxxx ... View more

Big M and pixie, well done both of you for putting ignorant arrogant medics in their place. As you say, if people don't stand up to them they will continue to behave badly. I'm so sorry it led to you being ill Mary. It does sound as if the sickness was a reaction to everything that was going on. I hope you feel much better today. Campo. Up you get onto your most comfy hammock. We are all coming to tend to your every need, to pamper you and make you feel better. You do so much for the rest of us. Now it is your turn to be looked after. I'm still sure it is all part and parcel of this overall feeling that we've got through chemo so nothing now can be so bad and it has to be uP from here on in. But the reality is that we are only part way through our treatment and there is still more to come .... And our emotions are now getting in the way too. We are only human and it is ok to feel sorry for ourselves sometimes, even if that's something we wouldn't have allowed in pre bc days. Our emotional and physical strength will return. Say together now: we are the april bunnies and we are beating this. Pixie I'd love to see some of your paintings .... I wish I could paint but I am serially untalented. Can't sing, can't paint .... But I'm a cool granny! Southpool, We recorded best of men and watched it last night - very good, I agree. Well, I'm waffling here. Only because I can't be bothered to get out of bed! OH has gone shopping and I am being very lazy. Need to sort out the spare bed for our son arriving this afternoon though so I think I had better get my proverbial you know what into gear! Take care lovely bunnies. Remember, we are all doing really, really well. Love, margie xxx ... View more

Hi lovely bunnies First, thanks everyone for the words of sympathy and support regarding both my Mum and my SIL. Next ... Well done everyone that's reached the finishing line this week, including Nat today. Wow, most of us have done it and those not quite there yet soon will be, including pixie and Libby with their ongoing herceptin .... I'm now on day 10 after last tax - still extremely tired, feet hurting a lot, very numb in both feet and fingers and yes, feet are a bit swollen still, but the thing I feel more than anything else is IMPATIENT! I cannot wait to be well, properly well again and I am just SOOOO impatient. I have been wondering, perhaps this is why so many of us feel down once the last chemo is done. thought we all know we have to go throu all the side effects this one last time, perhaps deep down in our heads there is that feeling that the last one is over and everything should get back to normal much more quickly. I think that's what it is with me. Theysays patience is a virtue but I don't have any of it right now! But normality will return. Hold on to that thought. We are all getting better and moving on. For those who have said they think they might try Zumba when they are up to it, I have just one thing to say: go for it!!!! I keep getting text messages and emails from all my gym buddies saying they look forward to seeing me back at Bannatynes, both in the gym and in e dance classes and I can't wait. I used to spend five mornings a week there in a mix of gym, Zumba, salsa, rock and roll, body combat .... Bring it on. I feel a total sloth right now. I've put on so much weight with lack of exercise and overeating due to steroids. I just hope I am up to going to the gym at least a couple of times a week during rads. I know a lot of people hate gym memberships, but I love mine! I have so much energy in my head. My body WILL catch up again, as will we all. Hair. I too am hair obsessed. I have two types of hair growing. White fluff and slightly darker stubble. I can never quite get the balance right between the magnified mirror and my reading glasses and can't see close up without the latter so keep asking oh what he can see. Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to get him to shave my head again one last time to get rid of any weak 'chemo hair'. We will all be comparing notes at bunny fest. I hardly ever wear my wig now and am getting quite bold about wearing nothing - on my head that is. Pixie, good on you for the dig against senior radiographers thinking they know it all! Let us know when you have had the ultrasound on portal ate 1 (portal ate? How is that for an iPad variant on portacath?). I hope they haven't been so lax as to leave something in there. The ultrasound will reveal. We have our youngest grandson's first birthday party on Sunday to look forward to. Hope everyone else has something positive on their horizon .... Well, we all have a huge positive ahead - a bc free life. Hold onto that. Have a calm and gentle weekend whatever you are doing. Lots of love, margie xxxx ... View more