Breast Cancer Now Forum

Okay, I have some news that I feel happy with. The PET scan I had was very detailed and covered me from the ear-line to my knees. I do have some small pin head cancers on my lung and also the one in the lymph node, but apart from that, I am cancer-free. I will be back on the chemo trail starting next week to get rid of the small pin heads on the lung. My Doctor is not worried about the lymph node for the time being. I am ready for chemo again. I should add that I feel very confident that I am getting the best care and treatment. One thing really stands out for me. I only saw my Consultant because I had a lump in my armpit. He was very sure it wasn't cancer but he said that he would organise an investigation for my sake and to ease my mind. I took my sister Jackie Robins into the room and we saw the lump which was probably .5" or 2cm in width. It was made up of hardened blood (and was not cancerous at all) and bless my soul was the shape of heart!!! But, do you know, hiding behind the 'heart' was the very tiny cancer in my lymph node... little MF... it was biopsied and shown as a cancer, hence I was sent for the PET scan... so, that innocent 'heart' shaped lump was showing the way to more nasty things. Business as usual at least now, I know what chemo looks like.... as before.... not pretty..... but do-able. Seeing the Oncologist tomorrow or Friday and then next week 'Port-o-cath- fitted under my skin and then let the chemo begin! I will keep you updated... please don't be sad for me, it really could have been a lot worse... Jxxx ... View more

Thank you everyone, I didn't want to upset anyone here with my news, but at the same time, I knew that I would not get platitudes from you.  I am trying to stay focused and not be a dribbling mess.  I have had to comfort my children who are 13, 18, 30, 31 & 34, so I have had to stay as calm and level headed as possible.  I keep repeating the words "It's business as usual"  (until we find out what we are dealing with).  I am scared of the PET scan as it takes so long 40 mins x 2, so will be taking a Diazepan 2mg to help me with that.  I have also been taking one Zoplicone 3.75mg every night to help me sleep and not lie there thinking and thinking....  I am heartened by the positive stories I have heard, I am determined to kick this MF cancer up the butt once and for all.  For me it's not just about "thinking positive" (I hate that term) but also about getting mad and getting even... grrrrr....today I feel like a tiger.... but tomorrow I may be a helpless kitten... fingers crossed and marching onwards and forwards...  Thanks for the love....  Joyce xx ... View more

I feel so bad ladies, but I hate to tell you that I have a cancer in a lymph node.  Having a PET scan on Monday and results Tuesday.  I thought it was all over and life was getting back to normal, then had this brick in my face.  So tough.. having to tell my 5 kids horrible news.... again... I am trying to stay focused... but gee whiz it's so tough.  I don't know what they will find and what he will say on Tuesday... so girls, I know that you are all doing okay, which has delighted me to read... I may not have written much, but have always read posts with interests.  We started this journey together and I wish you all the very, very best.... Joyce xx ... View more

Hello Ladies, just thought I would check in too as it's been some time.  I am doing okay physically apart from still lumpy on reconstructed boob, joint pains, still 1.5 stone overweight, hair looks like a privet hedge, libido almost completely disappeared thanks to Letrozole and still have trouble sleeping sometimes and when I look in the mirror I see someone 20 years older, so mentally, as you can tell, I am not great.  I will seek counselling as I have had a couple of panic attacks and still get scared sometimes that cancer will come back... somewhere.... On a positive note, I am back to work on the 1st May and am atleast aware that I have issues that need talking though. I am really glad that things are going generally okay for you ladies.  I have one DD floppy boob and a pert C which was created like a breast reduction and it looks and feels nice, but I am years away from having the other one reduced to match, just can't face it as I had such a hard time (had to go into Theatre twice in 14 hours, due to a large Haematoma). Keep smiling all you lovely ladies and keep well and happy!  Joyce xx ... View more

I feel so much less isolated with my 'problem' now that I have seen this board.  I was beginning to think that it was just me as when I tried to talk about this subject on my normal forum, it was not broadly discussed and I got the feeling that some people felt uncomfortable with having 'Sex' discussed, especially as we were all going through our chemo and side effects. I was diagnosed in Jan 2013 and have had 4 x AC & 4 x TAX & 4 weeks of rads, plus a therapeutic mastoplexy and am on daily Letrozole.   I have picked up lots of tips from here, especially with regard as to what services and prescriptions should be on offer through my GP and feel a whole lot more positive than I felt before.  My GP (female) did not seem that interested and just gave a me a referal letter for a Gynae to be sorted out through my private health insurance.  Maybe sexual relations are not that important to my GP, but it certainly is to me.  My husband of 24 years and myself are very much still in love with each other and we are not rampant sex addicts, but it is an important and fun part of how we express our love and desire for each other.   Good grief, we all go through so much physically and mentally with the cancer and we cannot have a little bit of comfort and joy because of side effects and we are unable to take anything hormonal that could possibly help us.  I am grateful for my life, believe me, but it is crap not to be able to have sexual intercourse.  Thank you, all of you, for your openess, views and advice and for liberating me from isolation!  Joyce x ... View more

Hi Susan, I live in Boston Manor, hope you are doing okay.  I was diagnosed in Jan 13.  Had 6 months chemo, surgery, put on Letrozole and now rads - have 2 weeks to go.  Hope you are coping okay.  Best wishes, Joyce ... View more

That sounds good Caroline - maybe we could arrange to meet up there?  Are you going to the 'Look good, feel great' workshop in November?  I live in West London.  Joyce ... View more

Thanks Yvonne, I appreciate your reply.  One of the down sides of being treated at a private hospital was that I didn't meet any other patients.  I had my chemo in my own bedroom with my 'guest' and that was it.  They offered counselling and massage but that was it.  So I have to find people myself - I know that they are out there.... and hopefully I will meet some at The Haven in Fulham.. glad life is treating you well...  Joyce x ... View more

I started Letrozole, which increased menopause symptoms.  I feel I have developed mood swings which are awful, sometimes as I can hear myself being so irrational.  I do apologise afterwards and am aware of my behaviour, but it makes me sad as I wasn't like that before.  I recently visited the Haven in Fulham, London as I wanted to find a place where I 'belong' and to meet others like me - I have not met one person with breast cancer throughout my treatment.  It's a centre for those who have, or have had breast cancer and their families.  They offer many diverse services and all aimed at improving our lives physically and mentally.  I feel I need something.  I can't just go back to my normal life as it doesn't seem to exist anymore as I have changed myself.  I hope I don't sound to negative because I don't mean to.  I am, by default, a very positive person but I do recognise that I need some help and hopefully the Haven can help me do that.  Hugs, Jxx ... View more

Hi Jenny, I'm still here, currently one third thru my radiotherapy and have been taking Letrozole for a few weeks now.  Feel very tired in the afternoons (meds/menopause or rads?) but don't nap.  Tired but can't sleep at night and wake up in the middle of the night.  Occasionally use low dose Zopliclone, which helps, but don't want to take it every night.  Other than that I am fine!  How about you?  I guess many people from our group have returned to the big wide world now.  I plan to get back to work late December or early Jan in a phased process.  Hope you are doing okay...  Joyce x ... View more

Thanks Girls - I have a planning session on Monday for my radiotherapy and starting Letrozole.   That's about it really... feeling low today, but then I always try and think about others that are so much worse off..  Take care all... Joyce xx ... View more

Hello Ladies - I have not been here since my op at the end of July.  It was a nightmare!  I wish I had had surgery first and then chemo, it would have made a huge difference to my recovery.  I ended up in Theatre twice and it was effing painful.  Still waiting for an appointment to start 4 weeks radiotherapy.  I have a horrible eye tic under my eye and my knee joints feel knackered and painful.  But you know, apart from that - I am fine!  I had alot of trouble finding this forum again, but I am glad to be back.  We are all emerging from this in our own ways.  I know this Christmas will be a special time for me and my family - albeit a tighter one.  I have not been paid for months now and am not eligible for one penny from state benefits.  So, I do feel penalised financially for having cancer, but I can't go back to work until I am fit enough.  Hugs to everyone - especially Sandra who has been the backbone of this forum since we all started, stay strong girlie... Joyce x ... View more

Good one Sarah - how are you finding Herceptin? Yvonne, can't comment on the appt, but I did have an Echogram before chemo and after my 7th chemo - all was normal. Enjoy the weekend on your boat - lucky girl!! Joyce xx ... View more

I intend to shave my head in a few weeks time, like you, Irenee as I am sure it will grow back thicker, rather than the silly bits of thin fluff that has started to grow... One thing I have noticed is that my skin has aged dramatically since I was diagnosed. Hands are wrinkly and dry from all the hand washing and my facial skin is wrinkly too. Right now, my face is still puffy from the steroids. I am going to wait until the steroids are out of my system and then I might try something like microdermabrasion, my facial skin is in desperate need of a pick-up. I'm sure time will improve my looks...! Joyce x ... View more

Hi Mandy, I had AC x 4 and Tax x 4 and I had my last Tax 10 days ago. I have been told that tiredness lasts a long time, so don't expect too much of yourself. I think you are doing very well if you can go back to work. I have surgery and rads to come and don't expect to be back at work until xmas. Yes, my income is halved but don't honestly think I could cope physically or mentally for quite some time. Don't underestimate what you have been through and it doesn't hurt to remind people that some of your side effects will last for quite a while. Your manager and HR / Occupational Therapy Depts should be phasing you back into work at a pace you can deal and with flexibility. I intend to suggest 2 days a week for me at first when I return to work. I wish you all the best and you have done well to get through everything, like Irenee suggested - don't push yourself too hard... Joyce x ... View more

Yay! I am (almost) cancer-free. Have 1cm (in total) of invasive cancer left in the breast which will be removed at surgery. Rest of my body is completely cancer-free. I talked to my Cons about the bilateral masctectomy idea, which he did not dismiss completely. However he said that my priority is to get rid of the existing cancer. Also as my cancer is hormone related (as opposed to other reasons), he felt it was unnecessary to go so far and also it would undermine my ability to have rads, which he feels is an important part of the 'belt & braces' treatment that is planned for me. So thus, on the 31st July, I will have breast reduction and uplift on one side only, then 4 weeks of rads. Once my reconstructed breast has settle into its 'normal' shape and size, then they will operate on the other breast so that they can match it. I mentioned my fears of the future and he said that now that I have been through 'the system', I will never be left alone for long and they will continue to monitor me aswell as keep me on meds. He did say that the double MX would be a consideration if my cancer had been say, genetic, but that is not the case for me. I really do trust my Cons and agree with him that the priority is to get rid of the MF cancer quickly and hopefully, forever. He is also going to remove my Portacath at the same time - yippee! Thank you for your good wishes my friends - they worked! Joyce x ... View more

Wish me luck - CT & MRI Scan today and the conversation with Cons about surgery. I really hope my body is cancer free.... have a great weekend ladies! Joyce x ... View more

Thank you Ladies for your thoughts on this issue, I will let you know what my Cons thinks, I feel quite strongly about it now, so If he doesn't agree, then I would hope that he would have a good reason not to do it. Yikes - I just thought - I hope my Health Insurance would cover this procedure??? Irenee sounds like you have an excellent Surgeon. Well done on feeling 'quite normal' Sarah!! I can't wait for that! Yvonne, did your Surgeon give you a reason for their refusal? Give that little Chico a kiss from me. Yay Morwenna - you are back on track - last Taxol!! Yee haw! Soon you will be able to have a proper full english breakfast, proper beer and all the HP Sauce you can drink! I am feeling better today, as you can tell.. Joyce x ... View more

Thank you Sarah for your reply. I am seeing my Cons on Saturday and will see what he has to say about this option. It also might mean no rads for me either, which would be a plus! I hate the thought of recurrence and know it will always be hanging around in my head. How are you getting on? Joyce x ... View more

Had some ideas going around my head in the last 24 hours and I would value your opinion. I am due to have my surgery at the end of July. Initially my Cons and I discussed 'reduction and uplift' on both breasts (no implants needed as I am a 38DD). Sounded good... I would NEVER considered such surgery for vanity, even though I have had 5 kids - I loved my breasts as they were. However, now that I am emerging from 'chemo hell', I have had thoughts around Masectomies and implants, surely it would be good to get rid of the inside tissue? It might save me from (some) future worries around recurrence in the breasts? Because I know that I will always have that worry... and also now that I am climbing out of the hell hole, I know that I don't want to go there again... I am due to meet with my Breast Consultant soon and have the chance to change my mind about the type of surgery I will undergo. I would like to talk to him about 'Skin & Nipple saving' MX on both breasts, with a modest implant inserted. I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts and opinions - or am I going chemo brain crazy? Hope you are having a good day... Joyce x ... View more