Hi my son is 19, stiff upper lip and all that and has broken down twice on me. He is absolutely petrified that I'm going to die.
I really thought he was coping because although I had mastectomy and currently having chemo, I don't feel that I'm your typical cancer patient, I've kept my hair, no sickness just nausea and am a strong person, who just copes.It's just me and him, always has been so I suppose we have a friendship/closeness rather than mum/son.
I have been strong for all my family, haven't broken down in front of them at all, mainly because I feel confident with myself and my treatment plan. I also have to Remember that not everyone dies with this disease, so I'm going with the flow.
I'm in a better position than your mum at the moment because I'mhalfway through treatment, this does make it easier to deal with. Once your mum knows her journey she will sit down and discuss with you. Once you are informed you become stronger honest... It's the not knowing that sends us into a dark place in our minds.
Please honey talk to mum, let her know how you feel. Once she knows she will always involve you. My son felt excluded, no one talked to him, thought it was all secrets between me my mum and sister, not him or grandad he felt were included. I just felt it was a woman thing and he would feel awkward to discuss with me. When I got my false boob to put inside my bra, I asked him how it looked, his reply was a yeah ok matter of fact so I thought I would leave the boob talk for friends instead. I got it so wrong, he was interested he was trying to be brave for me and grandparents and the pressure was too much.....hence the meltdown!
Find a good friend to share your concerns with, because you won't always want to share with mum for fear of upsetting her, maybe someone at college whose own mother went through BC. It helps to know how mum will be feeling with side effects etc....Do Not!!!! Listen to anyone that spouts on about someone they knew had cancer and died, and it was awful and they suffered.... Your mum is not them, she is not terminal, she has a condition that will be treated and she will be your friend for many many years.
Remember the forum is a great soundboard for family too so use it,
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