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mggdggn@yahoo.c
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28-10-2012
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14-07-2013
10:36
Hi ya, I'm in agony with bone and muscle pain since tamoxifen. If I sit for too long I get up like an old woman and takes a few moments to get mobile properly. I have been taking 2000mg of cod liver oil nightly when I take tamoxifen and this is helping. I am not a drinker usually but while away last week I had one evening drinking gin and tonic 5-6 maybe and the next day I was in so much pain I felt like I had been run over with a train. The next evening I drank red wine, approx 3 glasses and the next day it wasn't as painful as before but did notice a stiffness in joints and sore feet. Totally off the drink now and although a little stiff at times nothing like the pain after alcohol. I have noticed a funny pain in my throat/neck area since after rads and worry that it could be something else. I notice the past 2 days since the heat wave I have lower back pain and now taking neurofen.... This constant worry that it's another cancer somewhere else like bones etc is worrying and sending me mad.... has anyone else experiences like this?
Maggie x
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19-06-2013
12:17
I had suspect mole checked today as I'm finishing rads today and had noticed it changed through chemo... I had to go to GP for him to refer to dermatology, you can't get referred through onco it seems.... All clear with mole, but I would get someone that knows moles to check, not a nurse saying its normal, it might need biopsies taken and they cannot make that judgement just by looking.
Maggie x
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13-06-2013
12:46
I coloured my hair during chemo, I too used Daniel Fields and it was easy to use and I did it myself. I ordered online but spoke to a member of staff on phone first and she said that large majority of customers used during and after chemo.... It's same price as other box colours, and has variety of colours....
Good luck, and I can say it made me feel human again
Maggie x
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12-06-2013
11:01
I had one micromet in one lymph node. I was told that 2 micro mets or less were deemed non involvement. A friend in America her surgeon said that when I had all nodes removed it was a radical decision as it seems they have stats to show total clearance is not necessary. I had full clearance, had mx and chemo and now rads, I feel it's better to be safe than sorry. My surgeon said in years ahead they might not go with full clearance. I just wouldn't like to make a medical choice when I'm not medically equipped to be sure. I'm concerned that some women are left with personal choice and then question if they have made the right choice, we must be lead by these professionals. Secondly, I was always lead to believe that any lymph node involvement was a concern, as any pesky cell would have been in the bloodstream and then travel.... It's a minefield all this worry...
Hope you get to make the right decision for you
Maggie x
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09-06-2013
11:50
Wow your story is very moving.... mixed with sadness and joy, you are an inspiration to any one going through this awful disease.
I hope you carry on being as strong and determined, and have a long and happy life
Maggie x
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08-06-2013
07:49
Just a little tip that might help, I bought a stress ball to pump when sitting watching tv or laying in bed before sleep... The stretching really helped take the strain out of the arm, and I never had cording or lymphodema. I got cording in arm with chemo and again this really helped... Pain at time was hard going but refused to take pain killers... so would recommend giving this a try....
Good luck
Maggie x
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05-06-2013
02:59
I take mine just before bed, usually 12ish.... Sleep great, so far no sweats and no other SE's as yet.... I reckon it's better to sleep through any tablets that could cause SE's... So far so good!
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04-06-2013
02:44
Sorry to read you are going through this nitemare for a 3rd time, life can be very cruel. I would try and take strength from the fact you still have options and treatment has been offered to you. I read so many threads where ladies are 5, 10 20 years after diagnosis and at times when all seemed lost they write with their own miracles stories. You probably feel its easier to offload your fears on this site, maybe rather than opening up to friends/family. There will be many ladies who will be able to give good advice or just a hug. One thing I have learnt since my diagnosis is that it can be a very lonely frightening journey, and when you feel full of dread someone comes along and gives you hope.
Your heart must feel very heavy with sadness/fear , I hope that your treatment gives you a fighting chance, your onc obviously feels it is worth it. They don't mess about these days, if they offer treatment then it means they have enough experience of where it has shown good results.
I hope you get the support you need
Take care
Maggie x
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03-06-2013
11:16
Hi I'm 6 weeks post chemo, taste buds not fully back so still struggling with certain foods.... Was a real teapot before, now only drink coffee.....Im lead to believe that foods you did eat through chemo, you may never eat again!
Ordered my first Indian takeaway in 6 months last week....it was delicious thankfully!
Hope it's not too long for you
Maggie x
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30-05-2013
02:52
Hi Lexie, my apologies if i gave false information. I was told that once you could prove family history eg what type of cancer, what relationship to you, what age of diagnosis, then you were considered for your own testing.... as deemed your own personal risk. The fact your sister refuses does affect your personal risk which is a huge worry to those who want to be tested. I'd be interested to know what happens if you have history of relatives that have passed, does the same rule apply?
Good luck to you
Maggie x
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30-05-2013
12:51
Hi Matt, I am 48 and my son is 19, I was very careful not to say too much incase it freaked him out, so at first played everything down. We lost an aunt to BC, hers was aggressive and there was negligence on her part and her GP, so no 2 cases are the same. I explained this to my son and once he knew our cases were different he casually said ' ok as long as you are ok and safe then I'm fine'... So we carried on as everything was ok, he didn't wash a cup lol and I recovered well... I had it all wrong, he broke down and cried (alcohol didn't help), he was petrified I was gonna die and he didn't want to be on his own, he was keepingeverything bottled up so not to alarm me or grandparents. After the tears and long chat he said he was relieved, 2 days later broke out in terrible rash which was caused by his nerves....
What I'm trying to say is that your mum will be lead by you, she will talk and discuss treatments if you want to, and she will take support when you offer.... Simple things like general housework will be a great help, as well as taking her shopping but you fetch and carry... Your mum will know that she can rely on you, just by coming onto this site you have demonstrated you have great love and respect for her.... You are doing great....
Hope mums treatment goes well, come back on here and let us know how you are all getting on.
Maggie x
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29-05-2013
04:15
Hi Lexie, I'm not a 100% sure but the fact your younger sister has been diagnosed and other relatives have also been diagnosed means you are eligible for testing in your own right without your sister being tested. Just because you have cancer doesn't mean you have BRCA gene, in the same vein just because you don't have cancer doesn't mean you don't have it. I think you have enough family history for you and your other sister to be tested. Paternal cases are just as important to your chances of getting cancer as much as maternal ones were for many years, so this is taken into consideration. I hope you get the test, it will give you choices. Your younger sister is probably overwhelmed with her own diagnosis at present and therefore cannot engaged in further tests/trials...
Good luck to you and your family at this most stressful time.
Maggie x
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24-04-2013
01:13
Would love anything like this in Essex/East London/Kent....do you have a list of current activities I could look into please?
Thanks Maggie
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23-04-2013
08:08
Wish I had one fitted, my veins are shot to bits.... number 5 of 6 fec, I was admitted to hospital for nearly a week with kidney infection, so IV antibiotics and numerous blood tests and I have no veins left. Plus it was so painful I cried. It's bad enough the state the veins get in with chemo and you hope the veins hold out, but if you do need extra drips etc then it can be a setback.
Good luck
Maggie
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22-04-2013
04:48
Hi my son is 19, stiff upper lip and all that and has broken down twice on me. He is absolutely petrified that I'm going to die.
I really thought he was coping because although I had mastectomy and currently having chemo, I don't feel that I'm your typical cancer patient, I've kept my hair, no sickness just nausea and am a strong person, who just copes.It's just me and him, always has been so I suppose we have a friendship/closeness rather than mum/son.
I have been strong for all my family, haven't broken down in front of them at all, mainly because I feel confident with myself and my treatment plan. I also have to Remember that not everyone dies with this disease, so I'm going with the flow.
I'm in a better position than your mum at the moment because I'mhalfway through treatment, this does make it easier to deal with. Once your mum knows her journey she will sit down and discuss with you. Once you are informed you become stronger honest... It's the not knowing that sends us into a dark place in our minds.
Please honey talk to mum, let her know how you feel. Once she knows she will always involve you. My son felt excluded, no one talked to him, thought it was all secrets between me my mum and sister, not him or grandad he felt were included. I just felt it was a woman thing and he would feel awkward to discuss with me. When I got my false boob to put inside my bra, I asked him how it looked, his reply was a yeah ok matter of fact so I thought I would leave the boob talk for friends instead. I got it so wrong, he was interested he was trying to be brave for me and grandparents and the pressure was too much.....hence the meltdown!
Find a good friend to share your concerns with, because you won't always want to share with mum for fear of upsetting her, maybe someone at college whose own mother went through BC. It helps to know how mum will be feeling with side effects etc....Do Not!!!! Listen to anyone that spouts on about someone they knew had cancer and died, and it was awful and they suffered.... Your mum is not them, she is not terminal, she has a condition that will be treated and she will be your friend for many many years.
Remember the forum is a great soundboard for family too so use it,
Take care
Maggie x
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09-04-2013
12:10
Hi I'm early days as only had mx December, I'm sure someone will be along soon with good advice.
Hope all goes well
Maggie x
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07-04-2013
11:15
Hi I just wanted to say that I did have a lump, it wasnt round, hard, or pea shaped.... It felt very muscular, it was wide and felt like like a strip of muscle tissue. To this day I still am shocked it was BC, so please do not worry about bothering doctors or GP's if you think something is wrong then stick with your gut instinct.
I am 48 so much older than you, but I have got my nieces to promise me they will never overlook any medical worries.
Good luck and keep us updated.
Maggie x
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06-04-2013
12:15
It is a real shame that prefernottosay saw responses that didn't accept his reasons for feeling let down by his'petrified' partner as more venom... I think as long as everyone including his partner agrees with his points of view then he is prepared to be of support, otherwise he decides to react and throw his toys out of the pram.... I think the problem may lie there.
I think the responses from most of us seem to support his partner, due to us living parallel lives as she does, and due to fully understanding that we may all have morphed into people/personalities that even we don't recognise since this awful disease entered our lives.
The men that replied speak from personal experience of how they support their loved ones and however much they too may be on the receiving end of some irrational behaviour, they believe their role is to 'roll with the punches' and help their partner to get through it all.
I hope he does decide to come back, and benefit from personal situations that ladies on here live with every day, it might make him more understanding and supportive to his partner in her darkest moments,which I know she will have many of.
One last thing I'm sure she would feel very upset to read what he really thought of her, and I'm unsure if it would be advisable for her to see these posts, one because she would be heartbroken that he saw her fear as viscious, and two when he said 'would it be better to leave her' because she doesn't show him enough love.....I think it could put his marriage into overload.
Maggie
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05-04-2013
01:05
Goodness 8 weeks since diagnosis and asking if you should leave....I think there is more going on here.
You have to be honest and decide if you are the right person for the job!... if I was diagnosed and then had to deal with a partner who couldn't deal with me because I'm viscious with my tongue then I'm sorry to say I would probably be very vicious and tell you to jog on.
Ask yourself these questions
1. How would I react being told I have cancer? Would you be exactly the same or scared?
2. Was she always viscious with her tongue before cancer, if she was then why are you still there and if she wasn't then can you not accept its out of character and cut her a bit of slack?
3. Sex.... Is the last thing on her mind, so have you been pressurising her into having sex, hence her cutting remark you have the snip.
4. Are you angry that she is not there for you now and you resent her.
On a positive note you do say 'we' for chemo and that does show great support. But to be honest if this is the first time in your marriage you feel unsupported then I think you are going to have to take a lot more sh*t, and if you are already looking for an escape route then you need to leave her so she can arrange for her friends and family to support her.
I know you are looking for support too, maybe try a male support group, or find a man whose wifewent through this god awful disease and you might then realise its gonna be tough!
I hope she gets the support she needs, and I hope you have the strength to give it to her.
Maggie
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