Breast Cancer Now Forum

Janice, well done! good to hear your news, and good race time Jane hoep your hotel is lovely, whats going on with appointments, sorry to hear you are worried, but enjoy the fresh air up there. as for doz and janice, cannot remember where you are but am in harrogate end of the month,  so can you suggest places to eat etc, just mid week break. am a little up and down, still got upset over old colleagues that havent bothered to be in touch, and i knew the beginning of term would perhpas make me like that. i know they are all busy but they are still together, and they didnt go through cancer.  ihate being sensitive like this, and know that i should be gentler on myself, its like after acouple of years i should feel better. on the fb site and this one, we are so good at boosting each other, i forgot that i have moved on but the huge impact of cancer will still be there wont it. im getting there, still go to support group in woods and realise i can suggest help to others still in chemo etc but dont want to depress them that afterwards it is tough. family seem to be coping better with me, but they moan that i am negative on the phone and never say im doing great. i find it hard to lie, its just up and down, anywya, still need you guys so thank you. lovely summer dont want autumn yet,  evening here, but i am stuck on late surgery. XXx lots of love and must remember flutter gently.     ... View more

good to catch up, Janice how are things for phil? doz. what about your work? what happened with the ward, did it move or close/ Jane at the fringe, how cool. that was where i had my honeymoon 25 years ago, we went in april, but i still googled images at the shows to remember how mad it all was. great place to stay etc look forward to reading your posts Anne xx   ... View more

hello all, ive forgotten which way to read this thread, do we go up or down numbers, doz you said about photos, has someone addded their's. sorry not to be have been here, ive been so up and down, had silver wedding anniversary and nice day in hotel, but since then problems at home, ungrateful teeneager and husband bit fed up with me, will catch up on your news, lots of love and still needing you all.  just needed a break from writing it down but perhaps i needed to, love anne x ... View more

Good to hear from everyone, and Doz nearly retired, janice sorry that Phil has been through the mill again, but sounds like he knows what he wants and can be manged that way. let us know how hospital goes, does not having repair means he keeps stoma etc, my medical knowledge not very good!! he is able to get about and go anywhere with you. em, your poor sis in law, what a horrible shock but its sounds they have taken it in their stride, elsa, glad things have moved on with your brother, its tough after all the difficult times they have had. was out with the receptionist staff at somones house last night, im not really a newbie now but still felt a bit on the edge of it, but its bound to, with them working together, some for 6 years or more. i felt a bit awkward with not much to say, but think it was okay. there were 2 of us taken on at same time and she is very funny,and i know im the quiet sensitve one, who takes things to heart. reading this sounds a bit weedy. there is also squabbles with 2 older ladies, and you know I just wanted to tell them how petty it sounds and try having cancer. but i dont do confrontation, just moan on here.thank you ladies. Teenage daughter has pmt and being a right grump! we decided we would have lazy, bread cheese salad, etc for dinner, 'well mum thats not proper food is it', well i wanted to say, go get a job, do your own dinner. just gets you down when they forget all the other stuff you sort out, but eh thats parenthood! shes getting roast pork tomorrow fgs!! she has piled of quite a bit of weight and i have to tread carefully, am hoping to pick up cheapish exercise bike, and hope she goes on it. got a bit of a low sunday, night feeling but having reflexology before work so that should relax me. i seem to be doing okay with anxiety and a bit more in control. accepting the feelings that come. i overanalzyze a lot esp in the mornings but its goes away. i dont think i can learn to turn that off. love and flutters to you all, glad you are here Anne xx   ... View more

Hello flutter by s, hace some xatching up to do.  had my yrgent refferal abd all okay.  Scar tissue.  Everyone ekse very relieved abd I jyst felt the same. Battery low was will write more. Have been plodding along. Doctors ok, can get a bit petty sonetimes, stilk going to support group in the woods, and days go up and down much love to you all A xx ... View more

janice, you may find there are tiny things over the summer that you can enjoy, even if it just a new flower, a nice smell, a cream tea you make yourself, look for those things. xx ... View more

OH janice, Im so sorry to hear all this about phil, and guilty that i hadnt been on here. hope things have improved and chin up, he must have been gutted. you have always been so lovely wit support for me. much love and hugs and will catch up with the other news. am still waiting for mammo, cant remember when i felt the change, saw registrar he feels its probably scar tissue. but do the tests to be sure, only bummer will be I cannot get to speak to someone straight after, as it is an extra clinic. am trying just to think thats nothing, we are away to edinburgh, next sunday, first time we have flown, we went there for honeymoon 25 years ago inaugust. so shame that i wont know by then. went to gym today, and instead of just swimming, made the effort to go into studio, 30 mins or so on some of the machines,good to get a bit sweaty. anyway will catch up more tomorrow Anne xx ... View more

sorry ladies really quick post, have had lumpy feelings in wle boob in last week, dr has referred me to hospital, not as urgent 2 week but to move appointment earlier, am scared, feel sick and anxiety not good in mornings, its not so much about cancer but how to deal with waiting,  know i cant do anything but wait xxx ... View more

Doz, pls stay p off work you would tell ys not to feel guilty,  and it's obviously painful,  pog lovely to read you, you are most wrlcome, the rads really fo take it out of you so dont think too much about ehst you csnt do , im 47 and grab any afternoon sleeps I can, today has been a stronger day, just being in the moment at bodiam castle.  Lots of green trees which were calmimg, even tine to lay on blanket and enjoy sunshine must try and keep mood flutter along love to all xxx ... View more

Thank you all, im in a better mood this week, i know i was clutching at fixing things too much and trying too hard. i scrapped the idea of hypnosis, and got some apps on my phone and am trying them each night, as much as relaxation as anything, but this one is about self esteem.however i went to a dance class last night, on my own. its wierd that i have the confidence to do that, not knowing anyone.the people were nice, 2 ladies let me sit with them, it was leroc jive, and you move around the room every few minutes as you learn new dance so you never just sit there, i will try another one next week, because i think i would like proper jive, i did it years ago, dont know how my stamina will be but it was good and it is that thing or being absorbed in an activity. as i said why do i stress over daytimes, getting up. anxiety etc. things got a bit stressy at the doctors thius week, not many appointments etc, scripts taking a while and you know i thought this isnt my stress, i will just do my best. boss was a bit off and i did take it to heart and then thought, bugger it she isnt my friend, who knows whats going on in her head etc. so i hope i can continue accepting the good and bad, lots of love to you all, sorry janice you are back on the gardening, my oh does no gardeing, but we dont have much space, he will do the hedge with lots of moans, and nags! thanks for your support as always, we can feel so different one week to the next, xxx   ... View more

hi ladies, things have settle down at home now, some big talks about being ungrateful, consideration etc. i think oh may have male menoapuse or similiar as he is tetchy but we are being calmer around each other. i know some of this will be repetition to your posts from a long while back. but i seem to be stuck with too many thoughts, not happy, flat, going through the motions of work, life, home etc. i am coping with the morning anxiety, because i know its me causing it and it will disappear once i go out or start something.  sorry if this seems rambly but i just dont want this to be my existence where life is flat lik this and i am on the edge on things, when i see friends i join in and want to be sociable., but i still do the things i enjoy, swimming walking etc. i also wonder if i need to start something new, am confident to start new dance etc on my own.im still taking antidpressents, iwonder if i am trying to find a solution that isnt there, and am trying too hard??? i was looking at hypnosis a couple of days ago but would that change what is really the aftermath of cancer for all of you and how you dealt with it. can you remember what you have done to ease these feelings. was there a moment where somethign just started to feel better, you people seem to be the best ones to know what i am feeling, and i appreciate the support i have had. today i have been along hte seafront and also saw some bluebells on the way home. hope you are fluttering gently. much love anne xx ... View more

oh blimey, my dear friends i have missed so much. doz am glad your incident is behind you, cannot imagine how sad you felt but glad some decisions have been made. Gi jane sorry for your stress too, has it helped being signed off. i hope you have settled down a little bit.its wet here as predicted for Easter sunday, but have been up and down the road for quick walk. seems i am annoying my oh just by being here at the moment, him and daughter both wanting me to stop moving things around or tidying up, she got her bunny which she loves and we have to plug every gap behind toilet, cupboards, wires etc and then nothing gets put back, towels, clothes etc. its too stupid even writing it down but i feel like its hav a go day, i will get over it and hope they just realise it hurts, had a bit of a cry and now move on. love to you all Anne xx   ... View more

Thanks everyone, am still finding i dont feel tired until midnight or so, used to be asleep by 10. do you think it is the treatment and the tamoxifen, i was originally told it makes you sleepy so i take it at night?  Anyway,long day at work, but going okay. nothing on the tv so it may be time to read, and keep oh company while he shouts at telly watching football. have some of next week off and think i might drive on my own to see sister in devon. i dont want to have too much time here and get anxious. so then i feel like i have donesomething with my holiday time. love to you all Anne x ... View more

doz hope things have gone okay, or is move next week. feel very guitly as i have done nearly nothing today, tried to sleep in and started reading.didnt get up til 12.is it really naughty to take half a sleeping tablet and go back to sleep? i kn ow they are not for daytime. we had no plan s but i felt i should have done something, i did cook our meal though and some washing. anyway i hope you are all okay anne x   ... View more