Breast Cancer Now Forum

Cybele, you go ahead and moan, that's what we're here for. I had problems with my veins, particularly the one from FEC 2 in January which still uncomfortable now. It feels like the vein is hard and shortened especially when I turn my wrist. I mentioned it to the chemo nurse and she gave me some cream called Hirudoid Cream which does seem to help. Beware, if your sense of smell is in overdrive as mine is; it smells very strong but it's worth it. Apparently the veins can take several months to feel better. I know what you mean about the weakness; I felt like it should all be OK straight after FEC 6, but it's taking me much longer to get passed the SEs, tiredness and physical exhaustion this time. As Cress has said, we must be kind to ourselves and time will do the rest. Lolly, it's nice to hear from you and I'm glad to hear you've managed to stay out of hospital this time, it must be a relief. Only one more to go, when's your last cycle? I think that you may be the last out of our group. Cress, fab to getting rid of the cold so well, that's a novety on this thread. I wish I could join you on Monday, but Shropshire to Bedfordshore is a little too far. QD, I hope your feeling better and your Mum too. Maire, enjoy the party, have some fun for us too while you're there. My OH took me out for breakfast yesterday morning. We have a restaurant locally which is associated with the hotel next door and they've recently started to serve breakfast to non residents due to popular local demand. It was to celebrate the end of chemo and he took me as it was the first day I've woken up not feeling horrible. That cheered me up greatly, but I was shattered by the time we got home at 11am! ... View more

Well, the paranoia is over. They didn't make me stay in and I was just in mega panic mode. Thanks for your post, Cress, you put everything into perspective for me which I read and replied to before I went to my appointment but my post has disappeared. You were the voice of reason that I needed to hear before I went OTT. The Sister who explained a bit about what happens says I'll stay in overnight after the op and possibly a bit more like you say (drains etc.) and that I'll probably still be too knocked out from the surgery to be worried about not going home. I hope your cold improves and you feel better soon. My mx on 24 Apr will still hopefully go ahead, but is dependant on the outcome of more bloods to be taken by my GP nurse on 22 Apr, just 17 days after FEC 6. I'm just going to wait and see what happens, if it doesn't come up to scratch then so be it, I'll just have to wait until they're OK and try to keep my head. Cybele, we'd best not sit on the same end of a bench for the upcoming party, we may well upend it because I'm getting a fat bum! I've eaten some much consolation chocolate it's untrue (usually with Turkish Delight in it). It was 2 sausage sandwiches for tea today too. Maire, it sounds like you had a lovely holiday, that's great and I can't say I blame you about the Tam, but don't put it off for too long. SP, sorry you had to see my panic moment as you walked in our door. Welcome to the fold. Bordercollies, I'm defo going to remove my bra before rads now. I might not bother putting one on in the morning just in case! Coyotegi, congrats on finishing, it's fantastic that you've got there and can look forward to the rest of your life now. Hugs to all, I'm off to bed early tonight. ... View more

Another horrible day. I've got a pre op appointment today and have just found out they will be taking my bloods for my mx on 24th Apr. What do they expect? This is FEC 6 day 6, are they going to take me in? I'm not brave enough to stay in hospital, I'm a wuss. Hell on Earth. I'm having hot flushes, shaking and feel badly sick, why is this happening? It was all supposed to be better after FEC 6. I always doubt the lovely people I see and they've never let me down really, but I guess I'm just totally paranoid. ... View more

Thanks, Collette for the advice you give, it really helps to think that there is a future for us because it doesn't always feel that way. We so much want that life back. Cybele, I really can't believe once again how much your blog relates to my feelings, although our situations aren't exactly the same it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in my breakdowns etc.. The first thing I asked the nurse at my GPs when she removed my dressings after my first WLE was 'do I look like Frankensteins monster?'. She said no, and she was right, eventually. Cressida, I feel so sad for you to have been cheated the final chemo, I'm so sorry to gloat, you've been an absolute rock for so many of the ladies here so many times. I hope you're feeling better today. You're so right we do need to be kind to ourselves. Mandy, I hope you're feeling better today, there aren't so many posts on the thread at the moment, perhaps we're all at a low ebb (except hopefully those on hols). My day 5 today is taking it's toll, I'm only just about to get washed and dressed! I wouldn't admit that to many people, but I know you'll understand the toxic stomach slug that is so distressing. I've got little pink bits at the base of my nails today which show how horribly discoloured my nails have become since chemo; a little more light at the end of the tunnel I hope and a welcome change to the brown with black stripes effect I've had for the last few months. ... View more

Cybele, I'm so with you here, FEC 6 has been really hard for me too; although I new it wasn't altogether over, the euphoria of it being the last poisoning made me somehow feel that the SEs this time could not get me down. How wrong I was, I feel flattened. I had a bad dream last night about your horror of the cannula. It makes me feel for you and the picture showing it ended up on the inside of your wrist seemed to really top it all, I bet it was very uncomfortable for the duration. I also have very small veins, but they've never approached me with a cannula more than twice and usually once, I can't imagine how bad it was. ... View more

Thanks for all the good wishes. I'm now fully FECed up and only have to go through the side effects now. I couldn't be more relieved and feel my life has a chance of getting back to relative normality even with everything else that's got to be gone through, the worst is nearly over. For my feelings about this, see Cybele's above, I hadn't realised I would feel so much this way before I was realeased from the hospital. By the time it was done I couldn't get the grin off my face and wondered where the balloons, cheers and celebratory/victory dances were, then I caught on that it was only me that had finished and everyone else was very somber in the chemo unit. I pulled my hat down over the little hair I have which I'm desperatley hoping will not fall out due to FEC 6 and walked quietly out of the door. The I got home and bent my Mum's ear for two hours on the telephone telling her about getting there. Poor soul! Cybele, Big congrats on finishing. I'm so glad you're continuing with the blog, I find it very difficult to go to bed if I haven't read it and after following you through chemo, I'll be following you through rads although a couple of weeks later instead of a couple of days this time. MZ, I'm glad you were able to have a great holiday and feel relaxed. Let us know how you get on with rads and Tam. Wendy, I've had the 'drip fed' feeling too; when I asked my onc why he said he wanted me to just concentrate on the next thing happening, but that's not the way I work, I want to know in advance too. I feel they think we don't need to be in control because they are, I'm not sure if this is always the case, though I'm sure they are sometimes right. Lisalouw, sorry to hear your Mum's in hospital, not what you need on top of everything else, I'm sure. I'm also sure I smell of chemo, sometimes worse than others, I think I have chemo pee and that's even when it's not pink anymore. Yuck! I think it might be my imagination though because although I loved pineapple up to FEC 4, it now tastes of chemo and I can't eat it! Lolly, you've only got one more cycle to go, if I can do it, you can do it; I'm officially the world's biggest coward. Big hugs to all. ... View more

Wendy, at the moment the most likely is an LD flap on both sides as not only does my PS specialise in this but it's the most likely way of not having implants which may have to be changed at a later date. Apparently it depends on how big the muscles are in your back as to if you need an implant. I'd rather go down to a C cup if it means not having them, but I reserve the right to change my mind by tomorrow!! I initially wanted bilateral mx and immediate recon but both my onc and BS are concerned about the length of time between me first being diagnosed and getting the rads done (because of 2 x WLE with no clear margins = 12 weeks delay). The whole surgery is much more complicated and if there are any complications rads could be put off. If this hadn't been the case I would definately have had the double mx and recon and a redo if the implant was adversely effected. I wanted this because there are fewer scars and a better look with your breast skin rather than an 'import' from somewhere else on your body so if I were you I'd go for it. You're right, there are so many decisions and choices and we are no experts so it's really hard. My OH is worried about talking it over with me because he doesn't want me to feel pressure to do want he prefers. He's right, I would. Why haven't they decided about you having rads yet? ... View more

Cybele, I hope it all went well today, good luck with the SEs. That's interesting about Tamoxifen, my onc has told me I'll be on that and I'll start at the same time as they do my rads set up. My Mum had Tam for a year as did my Dads second wife. Neither of them got on well with it but my Mum didn't have chemo and Dad's wife didn't have rads or chemo. It'll be interesting to see how I get on in comparison. I've had my bloods done this morning for my last FEC tomorrow, I can't wait to have it all done with and be able to think as each SE kicks in that it will be for the last time. Hooray. I went to see my recon PS today. She's really lovely, listened to all of my questions (there were many) and went over all the options with me. She agrees with my surgeon that I should have one mx, rads, the 2nd mx then bilateral recon about 6 months afterwards. I told her I was concerned that some people have to wait up to 2 years for recons, but she assures me that she controls her waiting list and that it would definately be 6 months provided that everything else has settled down. D cup, here I come!! Hugs to all XX. ... View more

Cybele, do you remember what the trial is called? You're much better a finding details than I am, I can never find anything. I'm also terrified in case of any potential delays for FEC 6, it's been one of my biggest concerns all along but this time even more so. ... View more

Cress, so sorry to hear you're still having such a hard time. I'm sure your holiday will get your spirits up a little and who knows, perhaps your 3rd opinion will be a little more optimstic, good luck. QD, good news on your Mum, poo pants sounded awful. Maire, happy Birthday for when you're away, what a lovely way to celebrate your Birthday and finishing all this horror. Sand, what are the trials your going for? My onc is going to put me forward for a rads trial which is being directed from Royal Marsden Hospital in London, but my brother who's a Therapeutic Radiographer says he thinks the trial which involves 5 treatments instead of 15 is not as good as the original and questions the reasons for the trial; to reduce the inconvenience of the number of hospital visits for the patient or is it cost saving for the hospital? I'm going to have to ask for more details without using the words cost and saving. My onc didn't tell me the name of the trial becuase he says I'm jumping ahead; I have to finish chemo and have my mx before rads and he wants me to consentrate on that. My last chemo is on Friday, slightly delayed due to the bank holidays, what a pain. I can't wait for it to be all over, SEs and all. ... View more

Bordercollies, thanks for your support. Lisa, You moan all you want, I do and always feel a bit better when the other ladies here offer support and suggestions. It' a blessing. Mandy, I'm going to have a recon, I'm going to see my PS next week to make sure that I know what's going to happen before I have the mx. I don't want to be told 'oh what a shame, if you had done 'A' we would have got a better result with 'B'' after the event. I'm going to have a second mx after rads but understand it will be a long time befoe my skin recoovers enough for the recon. I've already decided I want to be a D cup though! Cybele, I'm going to ask for extra steroids too. I hope you'll feel better soon. Cress, perhaps we could do a murder mystery weekend with cancer/chemo as the victim. Maire, congrats on finishing, it's really time to look forward to your holiday now. I wish I could come with you. Coyotegi, my finger nails have suffer a bit too; they're ridged and somewhat brittle. Still that VERY expensive hand cream I treated myself to smells lovely! QD, your Mum sounds like quite a lady. My SIL died of bone cancer in Nov 2012 and for her humiliation was nearly as bad as the pain. My hair has started to grow back. It's got no colour in it at the moment, not even grey. I've suddenly got a full compliment of hair on my legs (great!) but my lady garden remains very drafty (sorry to be so indelicate). Nothing about me is very lady like at the moment. Love and hugs to all, we're all getting there. ... View more

Hi everyone. I haven't been on for a while now so sorry for not being there for any support that was needed. FEC 5 has hit me like a brick; all the SEs have been the same this time but intensifiedby what seems like x 10, it's been almost unbearable and today (day 14) has been the first where I have even felt human. I hope FEC 6 next Friday will not be so unkind, but even if it's not, it's the last cycle so I'm almost looking forward to it. I've got the date for my mx which will only be 19 days after my last chemo so I hope my bloods will be up to scratch in time. It's great to see more people having finished their chemo now and encouraging that people are looking forward to holidays etc.. I was due to go on holiday with my Sister, Two Brothers and familys on Good Friday but I don't feel up to it and don't want to spoil it for everyone. I'm feeling really sorry for myself at the moment, but there'll be other opportunities some time soon. Hugs to all and good luck with all upcoming appointments. ... View more

Wendy, that's really hard. Please don't feel guilty, it's not your fault and I'm sure your daughters wouldn't blame you in any way and of course that you will all be able to support each other through this. Hopefully they will be negative, but at least they can make their decisions now. I think this is what Michelle Heaton (of Liberty X fame) has isn't it? She's had the double mx and recon and has said she wants to have her ovaries removed after she's had her family. I think she's really brave to talk about to the media and her recon looks really good. My Mum said to me just recently, that when we found out a few weeks ago my Grandmother died of bc she felt a special bond with her Mum for the first time since she was 5 years old; that's how old she was when she lost contact with her Mum (through no fault of my Grandmothers, my Grandfather was a selfish man). My Mum feels that what her mother went through with bc (she died of it aged 44) will have contributed towards the knowledge that helped cure my Mum. Then what's been learned since she had bc 9 years ago will have contributed to my recovery. She also said that it's a bond that includes me which is very special to me because my Mum and I have never really been that close, but when she came to my house for a few days last week she let me put my head on her lap and she stroked me for two hours, not bad for someone who doesn't really do hugging usually. It made me very happy. ... View more

Lolly, well done for getting through FEC 4, it sounds like you're back on track. QD, bad luck with the white blood cells , I hope you're manageing to think of it as a chemo holiday. Coyotegi, congrats on the weight loss. Tax sounds horrible, I hope you're feeling at least a little better today. I'm now on no pay, oh boy do they know how to make things stressful, and then they tell me how well they're treating me. I've haven't even had a phone call from my boss since I was dx. Wendy, I can't see your post re your postive results for BRACA, I've picked it up from other peoples replies. I'm sorry to hear about that, what happens now? I've been told that although every female member of my family in the two previous generations of my female line have had BC that I just about don't qualify for testing. I find that more worrying than if I could be tested, but then that's another worry to contend with that none of us needs. Cress, I'm so pleased your back, it really wouldn't be the same without you and I'm so looking forward to meeting you and the others in the Summer. Hang on in there. Maire, good news about the lump, I know how worrying they can be. I've now experienced the dreaded tooth problems too. I lost a filling last week but it seemed very insignificant compared to other peoples problems. Tonight I was eating crispy bacon and half a tooth just came off. Looks like another Christmas Cracker visit to the dentist. I think it may be that I've been grinding my teeth of late. My FEC 5 went OK yesterday, although this is the most nausious I've felt since FEC 1 when I didn't have Emend. I'm having a steroid induced lack of sleep tonight and am about to go down and watch Poirot on the TV. ... View more

Cress, that's terrible. The ineptitude of the people 'looking after you' is disgusting. Are you making sure that the senior members of the hospital staff are aware of your situation? Please don't log yourself out, perhaps we can offer you some kind of solace and I'd rather hear what's happened because then I can be aware of where things go wrong and act accordingly. If it weren't for this thread I would be having chemo, blood tests and cannulas for surgery in my bad arm because the hospital staff don't seem to worry about it although they always seem to know about it when I ask. Please don't leave us, we need you. Very big HUGS. ... View more

Cress, I'm now assuming that you ARE Prince Harrys' latest squeeze, I've seen a picture of you and you're a stunner! Lolly, I hope FEC 4 has gone well for you, good luck with the SEs. I found FEC 4 a little less harrowing than the previous 3, I hope you do too. Cybele, well done for getting so far with the root canal, at least you won't have to worry about it for a little while now. Good luck with FEC 5 on Thursday. Lisalou, I think even Pollyanna might consider piles a step too far to be glad about. Maire, when will you start tam? I can understand why you want to delay it. Bordercollies, congrats on completing FEC 6, you know now that this will be the last of the SEs and when you start to feel better you'll stay better and won't have to dread the darkness again. QD, hopefully the stair exercise will have contributed to weight loss!!! I had my bloods done today for FEC 5 tomorrow. I'm dreading it big time. Still, only one more after this and I'm sure that the whole tub of Ben and Jerrys Cookie Dough icecream that I've just eaten will help me through it. Where are those anti emetics I had, I think I need them now! ... View more