Breast Cancer Now Forum

Agree with comments about libido or rather the lack of it,I too have blamed this on Tamoxifen. Throw fatigue into the mix and there's no chance of any bedroom activity. Does anyone further along the journey know if things will improve or will it remain the same whilst taking Tam? ... View more

Hi All, Janice I hope that the results of Phil's scan are good and the Drs can find a solution to the problems and he is soon on the mend. I am sorry to hear that so many of you are having a hard time with relatives, take care and I hope things improve soon for you all. I am just plodding away at work, now up to 4 days and I come home each evening and just crash out exhausted. Can see the progress I have made but still feel frustrated - I want my mojo back now!(foot stamped). Some interesting job opportunities around at the moment but I am feeling super-cautious as a new job might just be too much at this stage - frustrated again. Received confirmation that I can start my programme in September so I have that to accommodate also - yes, definitely trying to run before I can walk (in fact I waddle some of the time due to Tam induced joint stiffness). For anyone out there in the early days after treatment - yes, it does get better but it takes time. I might just go and consult spoon theory to see if I can calculate what I can take on ..... (there I go again) Helen ... View more

Morning All, Doz that is shocking news about the claim - evrything about it feels false, I hope that you are able to find a way to counter the claim without too much hassle. Jane the situation regarding your SIL does sound very difficult, as you say the poor kids are coaught right in the middle of this. GIJ the trip to Morecambe sounds as if it was great fun (I have popped into benchland to catch up on your adventures). Janice, I hope that you and Phil are doing OK and that Phil is managing to recover a little every day even though he has these terrible digestive problems. I am now back to 4 days a week at work and in addition the work has been intense (but very enjoyable) Come home each evening and just dropped asleep so no forum for me for a few days. Weekend is almost here and hoping that the weather dries up and OH and I can enjoy some time outside as we have both been stuck inside all week. Moved office on Monday and really like my new space - it is interesting how the right space/environment can make you feel good. Counting down to our hols at the end of August, can't wait. Take care all, Helen. ... View more

Hi All, welcome to new flutterbies. Need some calm advice - over the last week or so have had an increasing number of episodes of sharp pain in my chest in the area of my wle/anc. Very sharp pain, very specific site, lasts for 20-30 seconds - hurts more if I move or breathe, so I just hold my beath until it is over. I have also noticed occasional pins and needles down my rignt arm (surgery on right) with no explanation for P&N. Trying very hard not to read too much into this but am feeling a bit concerned - anyone experienced anything similar? I can't think of any reason for it. Due to see surgeon for check up on 02/09 so plan to mention it then if still troubling me. Probably nothing. Had my son's birthday party yesterday - bbq, and was very lucky that weather stayed dry until late. Had a busy day making salads, baking and then making sure party went well - felt very weary today but son said he had a great time so it was all worth it. He has headed back to Bristol as working there for the next 12 months, OH set off for lodgings as still working away and so just me and my 18 year old son at home. Early bed as I am working 3.5 days next week and although the summer is supposed to be out quiet time I have lots and lots to do. Take care everyone, Helen ... View more

Hi, I was in a similar situation with my 20 year old son last year when I was going through chemo. His girlfriend behaved in a way that made us feel she needed to be centre of attention always and that she disliked sharing my son with his family. This meant that she actively discouraged him from visiting me/us (he was away at Uni) and when they did come here she complained that she didn't feel welcome - presumably because I was naturally the centre of attention and not her. I felt very hurt by the situation and his behaviour but could see that making him choose between us and his girlfriend may not end well. So, we sat it out .... recently I did have some conversations about her behaviour with my son but was careful never to comment on anything other than behaviour and never to make him choose between us. They have recently broken up - she escalated her behaviour to make him choose and in the end he chose his family. It was a very hard thing to go through at a time when I was stretchd to my emotional limits. So, this worked for me - I think you will know your son, your relationship with him to decide what to do for the best. Wishing you strength and resilience, Helen ... View more

I feel inspired to try pilates. I have been trying to swim 4 times a week but I struggle when I am working as I still get v tired. maybe a gentle exercise class would be a useful alternative. I have been waiting 10 weeks for an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon as I might need a (partial) knee replacement - can't wait for someone to do something so that I can walk some distance without pain. Very hot here in the Midlands - have to say that I have had some immense hot flushes today - no fun at all, nearly sweated all my makeup off. Tomorrow I have to be in a meeting for about 3 hours and I don't think there is any a/c - taking lots of tissues, drinks and my trusty postcard for fanning. Celebrating my son's 21st birthday this weekend, hoping the sunny weather lasts so we acn enjoy a long evening in the garden. I think I might have a small Pimms or maybe some fizz - as its a special ocasion!! Take care all, Helen ... View more

Looks like we were posting at the same time Anne. ... View more

Hi Anne, good to see your post. I am glad to hear that you have had a better day. Hopefully over the summer break you can continue to do all the good things such as gym and pilates and support your body and mind in its recovery. I finished treatment at the end of January and it is only in the last couple of weeks that I have felt like my old self - I still feel very tired and I don't think and feel like I used to but inside of myself I have a sense of the Me-ness returning. I am telling you this to say that I feel certain it will happen for you too, it is still early days for you and you have physically and mentally been through an enormous upheavel - we all have. You may never feel exactly as you did but I am sure that like me one day you will feel like yourself - a new you. Be kind to yourself and keep in touch, we do understand what it is like and are here for you. Regards, Helen ... View more

Hi Janice, good to hear you have had a good day and that Phil is improving - fingers crossed he will be released home tomorrow or Friday. Anne - how are you doing? Helen ... View more

Hi Anne, sorry to hear you are feeling all churned up. Does the anxiety only happen in the morning? Could it be linked to any medication you are taking or do you feel it is anxiety about the day ahead? I have had 8 counselling sessions so far to help me find the new me and the new normal. It was not just the sessions that helped but the thinking between sessions that it prompted. I think that I always felt that recovery was a linear process where you got a little bit better every day - but after cancer it's not like that. Everyone else thinks that once the treatment is over you should feel happy, relieved and just be able to get on with life - not my exprience, it was much harder and more complex than that. Can you talk to your GP or maybe BCN about how you are feeling - I feel sure that there must be some support that you can be offered to help you deal with all this. I wish there was something more I could do to help and support you - let me know if I can Helen ... View more

Hi All, been away for the weekend to see my son in Bristol. Had a great time in Cheddar Gorge - really enjoyed the caves. Long time since we spent any time just as a family of 4, it was really lovely and I feel lucky to have them (OH and 2 sons). Feel like over the last 2 weeks or so life has got back to something quite normal. Enjoying work but still finding it tiring if I do 2 consecutive full days - but I've stopped fighting the fatigue and just fall asleep when I get home if I need to. Night sweats are still rubbish but what can you do? Notice that my hips & knees are really stiff if I sit for an hour or more - say in the car or in a meeting. Does anyone know if there is anything I can take to prevent this - but won't mess with the Tamoxifen? Had my hair dyed and cut properly last week - and I look like me again! So all good here. I hope that Phil and Janice are doing well and that Doz gets sorted at the Drs. Best wishes to all, Helen. ... View more

Hi there. Like many woken by storms - though I always find thunder storms quite exhilerating. Not so keen on the v heavy rain but the garden looks better for it. Janice, hope Phil is doing well when you get in to see him today and that he is allowed home sooner rather than later. Doz, how lovely for your son to pay for your tickets to Mallorca - we love Mallorca and will be jetting off there late August, sadly only for 1 week as OH has limited holiday this year. We go to the north of the island and really love it. Glad that Kate and baby are well. Off for a swim now, off work this week so trying to swim every day to kick-start the weight loss, well I am hoping so. Helen. ... View more

Jamice, sorry to hear Phil is not doing so well. Hope you manage to have a frank conversation with the Drs tomorrow and get some answers. Jane you have been very busy in the garden - love blackcurrants in anything and everything. Lots of domestic activity over here - tidying up the house in readinss for a houseful of youngsters for my sons 21st birthday at the beginning of August. The weather has been much cooler over the weekend so easier to work. BBQ just warming in readiness for our evening meal - then will watch the final stage of the Tour de France. Drank some white wine on Friday night, couple of glasses, and have had frightful hot flushes since - anyone else had a similar reaction to wine/alcohol or am I just making a convenient link? Take care, Helen ... View more

Hi Jane, I will be studying part-time and so making the occasional visit to Uni. I am hoping to hear next week that I have passed the initial entry assessment, fingers crossed. I will be researching something in the areas of work-based learning and employability as this is what my job involves and my research will be linked to my day job. Funnily, I do know a little about fluid dynamics as my son has done some work in this area in his degree. Looks like today is due to be another scorcher - take care if painting the kitchen, drink plenty. Janice, hope you and Phil hav a good day and any procedures go well. Hope everyone else is managing in this hot weather - I hear there are warnings out for extreme heat in the South anf the Midlands so seems like a good excuse to sit in the shade with a long drink and my kindle! Take care, Helen ... View more

A walk along the promenade sounds lovely - where abouts are you Janice? I live in the Midlands and am a long way from any sea/beach. My OH is working away from home at he moment and tonight he has also gone to the seaside - I'm a bit envious. Helen ... View more

Evening. Janice sorry to hear the news about Phil needing a tube again - I hope that the problem can be sorted soon. Doz, I am in awe of you, I just don't know how you manage to work nights, and then to be so busy the rest of the time. Jane, good to hear you have some nice new bras that fit - I only had a wle and so still using normal bras but fit not good even with my partial prosthesis. I am hoping to start a doctorate with Westminster Uni in September - I was 15 months into a PhD when diagnosed so stopped that and have now decided to do a more practice based doctorate, I think it will suit me better. Been swimming today, I can easily swim for 30 minutes but not actually getting any faster and can't quite work out why. I am finding the Tamoxifen makes me soooooo stiff in the joints. The temperature here is cooling to a much more comfortable level now and there is a gently breeze - 2 loads of washing dried and all the windows open, feels good. Tomorrow I will return to my craft group which I have missed for about 5 weeks - not sure what to craft but the company is good. Take care All, Helen ... View more