Breast Cancer Now Forum

I'm another of the class of 2010 (yay...have finally managed to log in and post!). I was a late entry to the embarking thread, but through it have met an amazing group of ladies. I was lucky enough to know one of the ladies during treatment, and have met many of the rest of the gang since and am looking forward to meeting the others for real (rather than in cyberland) in the future. I was diagnosed in April 2010 aged 36 (but older than Tors...she's the youngest of the class!), and had a mastectomy and chemo, and had my recon in May this year. As for us all, diagnosis was a complete shocker and it felt a completely surreal and scary place to be. But reading these forums and joining the embarking ladies was a real lifeline in getting through those scary times. But while there have been lows on the journey, we have also managed to have some laughs and share good times along the way too! So thank you Maria and all the embarking ladies, and thanks to BCC too. And to anyone reading who may be not so far on from diagnosis, there really is light at the end of that tunnel. xx ... View more

So very shocked and sad to hear this sad news. Rest in peace SCACO. Sincere condolences to your family and friends, my heart goes out to them. x ... View more

Hi Jo, It was lovely to see you yesterday. I know it is difficult for you to get down to St Albans, so that sounds good to arrange some more local ones too. Depending on work etc, hopefully I might make some Bedford meets too and see you there. Rae, I'm sorry - I was on my phone when I replied to Jo earlier so hadn't seen your post above hers. Would be great to meet you - you wouldn't be gatecrashing at all, so look forward to hopefully seeing you at the next meet-up 🙂 xxx ... View more

That's great Jo, looking forward to seeing you. x ... View more

Am so very sad to hear about Tina. Such a kind, supportive, determined and courageous lady. Thinking of you Tina, rest in peace. My sincere condolences to Ian and Dan, and all Tina's family and friends. xxx ... View more

Hi Tina, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you today. I'm a primary lady but was diagnosed not long after you and a similar age, and have followed your posts. Am so hoping that the scans aren't as you are fearing, and that you get some good news today. Sending hugs too. xxx ... View more

So sorry to hear this, so very very sad. Rest in peace Wendy. Thinking of Wendy and all her family and friends. xxx ... View more

Yellow, I have just seen your post - I think we were posting at the same time so have just seen it now. Am so sorry to hear of what you are going through at the moment. Just wanted to send you a huge hug, and say I am thinking of you, and am hoping that things don't turn out to be as you are fearing. The waiting is awful, so I really feel for you. xx Vickie, am so glad you are feeling better this evening and that your visit went well with your friend. The Haven sounds like a good plan - have heard loads of good things about them. That's how I feel about family too - I'm reluctant to talk to mine too as I don't want them to see me upset, or worry anymore than they already do. So the Haven sounds like a good idea, and chat to your friends on here! Non-bc friends do mean well, but I think it's difficult for them to really understand what it's really like at times. Take care, and sending hugs. xx ... View more

Hi Vickie, Am so sorry to hear you are feeling down at the moment. I think during treatment although we know the implications about fertility, during that time it feels like it's mostly about getting your head down and getting through active treatment. For me it's afterwards that the enormity of everything has really hit, which it sounds like you are going through too. However that's also when non-bc friends think that "it's all over" so it feels very lonely. So I'm glad you posted and hope writing it may have helped a bit - you're definitely not alone. I can relate to how you feel about friends having babies - I am really happy for them, but at the same time have a completely gut-renching sadness too. It is absolutely gutting to know you will not have children, or any more children when that is what you have hoped for. You said it's not as bad as for those who haven't had children, but I don't think that's the case. As you know I don't have children which I am devastated about, so I'm saying this from that position. As you said, you are very grateful for your 2 lovely boys but I believe that it does not make it any less sad or unfair that you can't have the third child you had hoped and planned for. Breast cancer has robbed you in the same way. Unfortunately I have no answers but just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I also understand the bit about knowing we are lucky, in that hopefully we found it early. However breast cancer is breast cancer, and the reality and aftermath is just completely rubbish. I remember actually saying that to my oncologist - I was feeling bad for being upset/scared and said I knew that I was "lucky" (as ironically I had met him before when he had looked after my friend who had died of breast cancer 16 months before, aged 33) in that things could be worse, however his answer was that if was lucky then I wouldn't be sitting there at all. So I guess what he was saying and I'm trying to say is that while it's good to be grateful for a relatively good prognosis, it's also ok to be sad/angry/gutted to have been diagnosed at all and all the implications. I'm absolutely not in any way comparing with those who have unfortunately been diagnosed with recurrences and secondaries and everything they are dealing with (I wish no-one had to deal with breast cancer at all), but saying as my oncologist said, that it's ok to be upset to have been diagnosed at all if that makes sense. Your analagy of the sniper really struck a chord with me, that's exactly how it feels knowing ladies - both here on bcc, and a family member and friend, who have sadly died from this disease, some of whom had relatively good prognosis. On bad days that scares the hell out of me, but I just have to keep reminding myself that many many are ok. You sound like me in that you said you are generally a positive person, but the bad times are bl**** horrible. As you said and know, this time will pass but in the meantime hang in there and be very kind to yourself. Talk to those who understand, and don't bottle things up. I hope that you managed your visit to your friend and her baby as well as possible today. Thinking of you and sending hugs, Siobhan xx ... View more

Hi all, Jo - sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish after the rads - hope you are feeling lots better very soon. Take care of yourself and make sure you get plenty of rest. I have a day off during the week so could meet up sometime you are free? Could let you know my days off and see if we could sort something out, would be lovely to see you. Claire, hope all went well with your chemo today and you are feeling ok. Hopefully see you another time. Look forward to seeing all who can make it tomorrow. Take care all. xx ... View more

Dear fairyqueen, I am so sorry to read how low you are feeling today. You have been through, and are going through so much. There are no words that I can say to make things better, but just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and sending massive hugs. Do you have friends or family nearby that you could see/invite round? But I know sometimes that isn't the answer either, sometimes I feel I am better on my own when I feel sad. Sending huge cyber hugs, xxx ... View more

Am so sorry to hear about Marychris and Cat. Thinking of them both, and their family and friends. Rest in peace Marychris and Cat. My aunt also died of breast cancer on sunday, so have lit a candle tonight for them all. We were both having chemo at the same time last year, and she was always so caring and supportive...an amazing lady. We were very close and I stayed with her and her family for her last few days and was with her when she died. I'm a nurse so could also help look after her as she did not want to die in hospital. I can't believe she is gone....am just so so sad. Lighting a candle is a lovely thought, and as you said Julie - I am trying to think of my aunt and all the happy times we had, not the ilness, and hope that for all the family and friends of Marychris and Cat too. M1yu - your post was beautiful, and summed up my aunt too. Thinking of Marychris and Cat, and all their family and friends. xxx ... View more

Congratulations, what fab news! And lovely name too. x ... View more

DISLIKE....completely inappropriate and insensitive. ... View more

So sorry to hear about Claire, such awful sad news. Thinking of your family and friends, especially today. Rest in peace Claire. x ... View more

Heather, so sorry to hear about your friend. Thinking of you and sending hugs. xxx ... View more

Happy Birthday Maria, hope you've had a fab day! xx ... View more

Oh Heather, that is so very sad. That poor girl and family. Sending you a big hug....you are not moaning at all, talk away. xx Welsh Girl, you have had alot on your plate...hope you are feeling stronger very soon. Kanga - am watching this space to hear about your Kanga moment! G'night Maria, sleep well. S x ... View more