Hi margarita lovely to hear from you a weighted blanket what a good idea I have heard good reports about them. I expect you are feeling very up and down like I said before dont rush the process its something you need to go through otherwise it will hit you at a much later stage At least once you have your results and you know what is happening you will have a focus. going through it again is so hard but you will do it. my memories are so vivid, I can remember being out for a meal and then busting into floods of tears and rushing off, I think the enormity of what you are going through sometimes hits you very hard . I know some people would say get it done with and then move on put it behind you, but its part of who we are our experiences make us who we are as aperson. take your time I can not emphasise that enough . On good days you can shine but on lesser days you can cry all you want, be angry I certainly was . I always liked the song by gerrry and the pacemakers Youll never walk alone and thanks to this forum that will never happen there will always be a star to guide you I used to pour out my darkest thoughts in the middle of the night and there was always someone to guide you and encourage you . For a lot of the time I would put it out of my mind and then I would go to the oncology dept and the reality certainly hit me and the seriousness of it all . Its a long journey but like many of us you will make it take care love suzan xxx
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