Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi everyone   delly, seagulls and trudy   HOw is everyone . Delly had my echocardiogram and it was normal and not doing too badly on the new heart meds seemed to have stopped a lot of the ectopic beats   How are you anything exciting been going on . love suzan xx ... View more

hi  seagulls hope everything goes well today  let us know how you get on love suzan xx ... View more

Hi seagulls  not long to go till friday and then hopefully you will have some answers. I have wondered myself why the figures  are rising.Could it be that women are being diagnosed at an early age. The younger  you are when diagnosed the more chances you will live to have a reccurence.I was 38 and went 18 years  .First time round i had radiotherapy to the whole breast and  booster doses  to tumour site .l couldent have it the second time around.   I know the wait is awful and if you are like me you imagine all sorts of things. let us know as soon as you have seen someone friday   love suzan xx ... View more

Hi seagulls. I know how you feel. But wait for your appointment and then you can decide what you want to do. I understand totally how you feel. And until 13 th you will worry. It’s the waiting that’s the hardest. I try to bury myself in something. But the worry is still there. HNg on in there.  Treatment is different now. Love Suzan xx ... View more

Hi Trudy and every one else on this thread. So nice to read all the posts.  We all know how the other feels. I found the first time I was diagnosed no one talked to me. I felt like I had a bell around my neck chanting stay away unclean.  Very sad I know it was 32 years ago and things have changed.  When I had my first surgery the surgeon just felt under your arm and said ok no lumps. And that meant no lymph nodes. There was no testing of nodes at all. I had 3 children at the time and the youngest was 3. Never thought I would see any of them grow up. I figured the best way was to exercise to keep my mental health strong and eat well and if it did come back I would be stronger to fight it. I savoured all those days with my children in the winter I would look out of the window and see a few flakes of snow , so it was you can’t go to school today let’s all stay home.  Happiness and sadness all rolled together. There weren’t any local support groups or breast cancer nurses and so I made friends with a few elderly ladies in Margate. Who took me under their wing. They saved me in many ways.  Life is so much more precious than we realise. Hope your healing is going well Trudy. Love Suzan xx ... View more

Morning everyone hi to trudy and delly  and of course margarita.Well I can see this has turned into   WHO has climbed the biggest mountain    WEll I have climbed scarfell amd great gables and  1 other but cant remember the name as I conked out before I got to the top   LOL  Anyway some very interesting threads on ladies who have had a reoccurence or new tumour after a long term.  Its such a shock when you think you have left it all behind you and its a distant memory . I suppose the younger you are at diagnosis the more chance you have of getting it again  .   I was 38 and then 57  Took me a long time to get over the mastectomy. Which leads me onto another thread where you said how you felt when you lost your breasts .  Delly you absolutely explained that so well  and I could see myself howling beside you   one breast bald head  fat and ugly .I felt a kind of  grief I had lost part of me and sometimes I would wake in the morning and just for a minute it was like it had never happened   and then the reality would hit me   .  I think the thing I found hard was waiting for all the test results  a week seemed like a lifetime.  I remember thinking life will never be the same again.I will never wake with that carefree feeling of a day when I had no worries and felt happy because it will always be there. Of couse it fades until you look in the mirror.I think the other thing I find hard is that I find it difficult to live in the real world when people moan about stupid things and I want to shout  STOP  make the most of your life do silly things like going to brighton and  getting drunk in the gay bar and being carried out by two beautiful drag artists    What a great time .   lots of people say life is short but how many of us know what that means until cancer or some other disease strikes you down   .  anyway to all the new ladies you have many of us to accompany you on your journey. I like to think its like the older ones are leading the way with a bright light   and  you will get there   so you are not alone       love suzan xx  reminds me of the song   you will never walk alone ... View more

Hi delly lovely to hear from you. The ridiculous thing is that it says on the tablets it’s better not to drink alcohol.  Oh no !!  I say. I can’t live without the wine 😂 .    I know my life is like a comedy.  I tried to get in the wrong car the other day only realised as I opened the door and saw the man sitting there that it wasn’t mine.  I do the most ridiculous things sometimes. Like walking out of the Lou with your dress tucked in .  I think I just have so much on my mind I jump to the wrong conclusions.  More to follow 😂 .    Well Trudy how are you any news on the results. And margarita how are you getting on ??     Let us know when you get time.  Love Suzan xxx ... View more

hi trudy    thank goodness its not just me. I always imagine everyone else going through through life and being very positive and I am still a wreck . I cant seem to handle any aggro at all now. I go into complete overdrive in my thinking.  I thought I was the only one on beta  blockers I have been on propranol 10mg x 2 three times a day made me so tired   so I have been switched to bisopoprol it works on keeping your heart calm and not so much tiredness  . I hope everythibng goes well for you today I will check in later to see how you are   take care love suzan xx ... View more

Hi everyone     delly margarita and trudy2010  sorry been absent for a while been thinking about how you are all individually getting on.  Been having these flipping heart tests and now waiting for an echocardiagram  I have been having ectopic beats or palpitations quite a lot  thought it was stress but thought I shouldent ignore them   I dont know about any of you but when I found out about cancer especially second time it was such a shock, lost count of the sofas I have ruined in peoples houses after having a glass of red wine and then the phone rings and I jump 6 feet in the air and spill it everywhere   . I even did it twice in the same house, cant think why they never invited me back  .  Just to put a smile on your faces  I got another car last year and I left handbrake off and it rolled into car opposite  But that wasnt the first time a few years back I did a similar thing to the same person    IF it happens again I will have to move somewhere where no one knows me oh the humiliation  , But then I thought to hell with it asmakes you see things so differently now after cancer   silly things that before used to irritate just dont seem important any more things can be fixed.  Life is important still being here   however frightened sometimes we may be      Hope you are ok margarita     love to all  love suzan xx ... View more

good afternoon margarita and delly and trudy   .Well there seems to have been a lot going on while I have been absent  Margarita I am so very pleased for you. No chemo thats wonderful news   .Now is the time for you to recover knowing what lies ahead in the terms of the A Is. But remember no skateboarding or sky diving just stick to sensible things like  the odd bungee jump  I think like delly said sometimes your sense of humour gets you through the darkest of times.  I remember having my reconstruction done and in the hospital everything was done in the bathroom by remote control   well me and remotes have never gone together  I remember thinking  I wonder what this is for  and i twiddled with the controls and the sink and the bath started taking off they were going up and down the wall  so so funny   . I never did get a wash cos I couldent get the sink down again    I felt a bit like michael crawford from some mothers do ave em       Oh and then there is the brighton Incident but I will keep that for next time cant have too much excitement in one day !!.  Delly like you I have a wicked sense of humour  I always remember everytime I used to go in for an op  I would always have my hair and roots done  I could always imagine them pointing to my hairline during the op " going oh look at her roots "  So sorry about the dog incident I had a similar thing a little while back it really frightened me and shook me up so I hope you are feeling better now and those birds  appreciated the trouble you went too  One thing that  I always think is that we somehow become kindred spirits its like we form close friendships with people we have never met and yet we trust them completely with our thoughts and our feelings.   Trudy I hope you are doing well your husband sounds a good man my husband had to dress my wounds when I had a reconstruction I had necrosis and well thats a long story but it eventually healed but had to dress it every day  . Funny how our relationships change in times like that but wonderful as I know some people have little or no support,  well I am off now to get delicious food from marks and spencers  its my one treat apart from a bottle or two of vino   Take care everyone love suzan xxx ... View more

Hi margarita lovely to hear from you  a weighted blanket what a good idea I have heard good reports about them. I expect you are feeling very up and down like I said before dont rush the process   its something you need to go through otherwise it will hit you at a much later stage    At least once you have your results and you know what  is happening you will have a focus.  going through it again is so hard but you will do it.  my memories are so vivid, I can remember being out for a meal and then busting into floods of tears and rushing off, I think the enormity of what you are going through sometimes hits you very hard . I know some people would say get it done with  and then move on put it behind you, but its part of who we are our experiences make us who we are as aperson.  take your time I can not emphasise that enough . On good days you can shine but on lesser days you can cry all you want, be angry I certainly was   . I always liked the song by gerrry and the pacemakers  Youll never walk alone    and thanks to this forum that will never happen there will always be a star to guide you   I used to pour out my darkest thoughts in the middle of the night and there was always someone to guide you and encourage you  . For a lot of the time I would put it out of my mind and then I would go to the oncology dept and    the reality certainly hit me  and the seriousness of it all   .  Its a long journey but like many of us you will make it    take care love suzan xxx ... View more

Hi delly and hello margarita.  I have been thinking about you and guessed you would be feeling a bit low at the moment. I can vividly recall those moments after my mastectomy and feeling so low. Like me you went a long time  since your initial diagnosis  and I think it’s the feeling that you are never going to be free of it  as it can still reoccur at any time   It’s so hard to move on  . But in all honesty I think we have to allow ourselves time to grieve as it’s part of us we have lost  . I went with however I felt if it was a very low day I would spend the day crying and lying on the bed  and stayed there for as long as I needed too  . I think these days we never give our selves any time we all are made to feel that we have to pick ourselves up and move on  .  Our bodies and our minds have been through an awful lot  .  And as for chemo  well if it gives you a better chance then don’t worry about your age  . I was 58 so not much younger than you  .  I wanted to give myself the best chance possible  .I won’t lie to you it isn’t pleasant  but it’s doable .  I read stories about people who are off out walking miles but I was lucky if I made it to the end of the street  .  Losing my hair wasn’t as bad as I thought in fact it was one less thing I had to do  I got some lovely headscarf’s matching my summer dresses.  It would be lovely to meet up   .  So sorry you are still waiting for a proper answer on your results   . This is your time to rest don’t hurry your recovery   .  Let the sun shine on you and enjoy the beauty of the spring  . I don’t know why awful things happen to some of us in life  but we are still here and we have no choice but to go on  . Life can still be good and you will laugh again   Love Suzan xxx ... View more

Hi margarita and morning to you delly hope you are well. well margarita you sound as though things are going fairly well for you  I remember being upset and the nurses comforting me  and its good that you are getting out and about.  there will be days when you feel low  its a complete rollercoaster ,  take one day at a time and try not to look too far ahead   .  Once you go back for your surgery results you will know what the next step is   I live in whitstable so not far from you  do you drive ? I know what you mean about support they do seem to be incredibly busy  How is your arm on your mastectomy side.  They certainly get you in and out quickly now adays. when I had my mastectomy it took a long time to heal due to the radiation I had when initially diagnosed and it must have been february for operation and still healing in may  so quite along time    .  keep relaxing and watching funny dvds it takes your mind off things   .  Ukraine is terrible read about that poor woman who died after being bombed and she was having a baby  so as you say a weeks delay for results seems like nothing in comparison  take care of yourself  love suzan xx ... View more

Hi delly. And margarita.  How’s it going and are you in any pain.  They don’t seem to keep you in hospital five minutes now. I know it’s better to be home but it’s getting the support once you are home. What did you think About your hospital stay. I hope you are looking after yourself and eating well and you have others to help. I remember waking up after one of my operations to be told while I was in recovery. You can go home tonight. I remember thinking I can’t go home it was quite late in the day. I was still dizzy from the anaesthetic. When I had my hips done I was out within 1 night. It’s a bit like having children women started off with two weeks and by the time they went home their feeding was established and they had a good rest. Now it’s just a couple of hours. Trouble is as soon as you get home they think mums back on duty again.  Let us know how you are getting on look forward to hearing. Whereabouts are you in kent margarita.  Love Suzan xx ... View more

Sorry as for sleeping. I think it’s about a way of finding what’s comftorable for you. I think I slept mainly on my back got one of those v shaped pillows. X ... View more

Hi margarita. Great you are home   So pleased everything went well. No drains that’s good. I think I had mine in longer because my chest wall was badly damaged because of the radiation. Long story !  Anyway you are out now and time to get yourself well make sure you eat well so your body can heal. .Look forward to hearing from you more in the next few days. Hi delly how are you.  I hope you are well. Love Suzan xx ... View more

morning delly    I was reading your idea of putting the prosthesis in the bra and leaving it there  what a great idea   Wish I had thought of that   all ready to go then    so you have managed 15 years which is wonderful and you sound avery strong lady and a very kind one  Thinking of margarita and wondering how she is getting on.  I think my worst memory was the pain from the drains everytime I moved about  but hopefully she will be comftorable and be pleased its all over    Best wishes to everyone love suzan xx. ... View more

Hi delly   thank you for your kind words  I sometimes think we go through life and we judge ourselves if we become afraid or anxious    But I think everyone who has been touched by cancer is a hero  I think we all have a special bond and I often think how amazing it is that we can open up and form relationships with complete strangers  and very often they are the ones who help us through the rough times   .  we become kindred spirits.  To go through it once is bad enough but the second time its horrendous.  I never take anything for granted anymore and I feel others pain as we all do. Thinking of margarita today and sending her all our best wishes  You yourself have gone through some tough times delly and its amazing how things have changed now  . The oncologist did say that the reccurence could have been caused by the radiotherapy  in 1990 it was particularly fierce     then not as targeted as it is now   . I have met some wonderful people over the years many are gone now but if it wasnt for them my life would have been a lot  more difficult   take care love suzan  xx ... View more

Hi margarita. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow.  It will soon be over. As long as you are alive and come through this that is all that matters. Life can and will be rich again. I always wonder at spring the tiny leaves and buds coming out. In many ways life can be richer. Treasure every moment.  As a rich man counts his pot of gold. That came from my aunt in the West Country.  She was blind.  I had my op in William Harvey. They were great at looking after me    Take care and I look forward to hearing from you when it’s all over. What a coincidence we live so near. Love Suzan x ... View more