Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi girls, sorry it's been a while, I don't know why but maybe since the weather became sunny I've been spending more time in the garden. Yesterday we reached 28 degrees at 7 pm.   Whilst I like the hotter weather I don't like the constant sweating every time I'm doing physical stuff. My last tumour marker was slightly raised, so I saw my GP yesterday and left it to her to phone an oncologist to find out what I should do.   It's the first time it has been slightly higher. I know that Nicky didn't think a lot about tumour markers, as many things can affect them.   I'm also waiting to see my Cardiologist as my rapid heart beat is causing me palpitations and it's a constant rapid beat not changeable. It could be because of my diabetes, which is very stable at the moment. Monday was a sad day for me, our 18 year old cat was put to sleep.   He was blind, deaf and had high blood pressure. He ate like a horse but didn't put any weight on so probably a thyroid problem too.   I had put off doing it in the hope that he would slip away in his sleep.   In the end it was peaceful but very upsetting. The veg is coming along, we've got courgettes, runner beans, petit pois peas, leeks, carrots, tomatoes, cucumber, peppers and chillis.   It does take a lot of watering though. That's about it for my five minute break in between cleaning and gardening. Have a nice weekend both of you, love Carole x ... View more

Hi ladies, how are you both doing?   It will soon be half term for you Lily, do you have any plans?  My 2nd vaccine was good, no side effects at all and I am so pleased I am now fully vaccinated.   Good luck to your Little Chap with his exams, our eldest granddaughter is 17 years old today, boy doesn't time fly as you get older.   I think going automatic is a good idea, and if we exchange our 11 year old car it would definitely be for an automatic. We're not changing it though, at least not yet. Our weather has been changeable, one saturday in the last couple of weeks it was 28 degrees and very sunny so I turned the heating off. The next day down to 13 degrees so the heating went back on and has remained on since  🙄 . It has also been so wet, rain almost every day for about 5/6 weeks. I'm hoping to get over to the UK in September if all the quarantine restrictions have lifted, we have so many people to see in different counties. It's now 14 weeks since Mum passed, I miss her so much as we used to talk almost every day even if we did repeat conversations. I could never imagine my life without her, and here we are.   She's in my thoughts every day. I give myself some consolation by thinking at least she's not confused and lonely anymore. I wish her last 4 weeks had been better for her. The weather is pretty awful again today so I don't feel motivated to do much.   Take care love Carole xx ... View more

Hi girls Nice to hear your news Lisa, I totally agree with you about feeling the loss of Nicky, and yes I think Val passed around 7 years.   Both such lovely ladies and I can still remember the day I met Val at a nearby campsite.   Your Mum sounds as though she is having a difficult time medically and I hope they get to the bottom of it sooner than later.  It seems easy these days to blame stomach problems on IBS, but perhaps worrying about your brother, you and your Dad could be the cause?   Hope things work out for you in your job. Lily we'll look forward to hearing about your Staycations.   At the moment I still think it's the best bet, although they're saying on the news today that it has been proven that people with 2 vaccinations are pretty safe from catching covid.   What model is pup?  😂 I'm having my second vaccination tomorrow, I think it will be AZ as that is what we had first time.   Hoping I don't suffer too badly with side effects as I'm home alone at the moment.  I've bought a couple of ready meals just in case I feel rough. YD and Mr P drove all the way on a 10 hour round trip because YD was picking up a new Skoda Fabia from afar.   It's a beautiful car, a very bright metallic blue.   So proud of her.   ED had a hysterectomy 3 weeks ago, she has suffered from woman problems and endometriosis for most of her adult life, so this was the final option.   She seems to be doing well and is doing a sponsored walk through May for breast cancer, so proud of her too, and donated some money. Apart from that, I have little news to talk about.  Our weather has been very changeable, we had 2 weeks of dry warm weather which was good for the morale, but last 3 days have been grey, wet and cold.  I even lit the fire yesterday as I felt so cold, 9 degrees at end of April is a first in the 13 years since we moved to the sunny (or not) SW. Have a good bank holiday weekend and hope the sun shines for you, love Carole xx PS the final Line of Duty reveals who H is, who do you think it is? ... View more

Hi Lily and Lisa Sorry I've not been around for a while, what with Mum's funeral (which I cried all the way through), the weather being good and doing lots of gardening, and watching a programme on Amazon Prime (membership on a trial period, I was intending to cancel) called This Is Us, I am totally addicted. I don't like to sit watching TV during the day, I try to keep busy but there is only so much gardening and housework you can do. Lily your mother's day treat, a roast dinner sounded very nice and I expect it surprised you too.  I agree when one of our children leaves the nest it takes a while to get used to.   I hope to visit the children in the UK at some time this year, I didn't get across last year at all and feel I've missed out on so much of the grandchildren. Sorry that your holiday was cancelled again. Lisa I'm pleased to hear from you and that all is well. As I said before my vegetable garden has helped to lose myself, so this year we are growing leeks, and courgettes from plants, runner beans, peas, carrots and hopefully some green veg from seeds.  I love seeing seeds turn into plants, especially edible ones.    As you've come out of lockdown, we have just gone back into one.   It's possible to go out for shopping and essentials, I go out as little as possible, to avoid coming into contact with people.   I've turned into a bit of a recluse, but that's my life, the same as usual when here alone. Travel beyond 10 kms is only possible for an essential reason.  A lot of people in France feel the president should have gone into a lock down 2 months ago, but he's a business man and hoping to be re-elected next year so the economy meant more to him than lives! Hope you can enjoy some freedom now, when is your 2nd vaccination Lily?   Mine should be in about a month.  Take care, much love Carole xxx ... View more

Hi Lily, you sound as though you suffered a bit after the vaccine, our young neighbour had similar as you for 2 days.   Sorry to hear about your Mum needing to go to hospital, poor thing, hope that she is better now. It's difficult to believe that Covid has now been doing the rounds for just over a year.   France numbers are still rising although President Macron is trying to avoid a 3rd lockdown.   Soon we will no doubt being getting tourists and hence the spread will continue. Other European countries are considering further lockdowns.   At least you have booked a little trip away from home, is that at Easter? Our weather is very changeable, one day bright and sunny, the next grey and rainy.   I was cutting our grass on Saturday, I'd been doing it for about 10 mins and the heavens opened. So we have a half cut garden and today is rainy so doubt I will be able to complete it. I spent yesterday with YD, she made me a card which was lovely, putting photos of Mr P, her, and our son and ED.   A nice thought.   Obviously the day was difficult as I couldn't stop thinking about my Mum. It's another 10 days until her service, so that would be 7 weeks in all.   Such a long time! I'm suffering from a weird pain under my right breast area, it stabs like my ribs and locking.  If I take a couple of paracetamols it seems to ease, so that's my morning routine, get up, coffee and painkillers. What an exciting life I lead  😂 . Lisa hope your doing ok, as Lily asked are you still working from home?   All for now love Carole ... View more

Hi buddies,   it's a reminder as I write this that Mum died 3 weeks ago today.   I can think of her without tears, sometimes, so I guess the pain is starting to ease. My sister and I talk to each other more than we used to and I was asked to find a poem and choose a song.   My poem is "You Never said Goodbye" even though I am not religious the words were appropriate for me.  The song is "Time to Say Goodbye", the version by Andrea Bocelli, which always makes me cry anyway. So the live streaming of the funeral will be an emotional time. Mr P and myself had the first dose of the Oxford Astra Zenica vaccine on Saturday.   I'm please to say no great side effects, mostly sore arms.   The next dose is beginning of May.   France has been very slow rolling out the vaccines so we consider ourselves lucky. Our weather has been a mixture of cold & grey to sunny and quite warm.   The plants don't know what they are doing but we have lots of daffodils, and Iris that have bloomed. How is your Mum Lily, has she had the vaccination yet? Are you still online teaching or back in the classes?   Did your daughter get her biopsy results?   Sorry for lots of questions, I'm just trying to remember our past chats. Lisa how's work, are you still working from home?   How are your parents, and you all planning a trip away yet? All from me for now love Carole x  ... View more

Hi all, thanks for your kind thoughts. I'm still feeling very sad and emotional, as you know, I used to talk to Mum nearly every day. The feelings of not speaking to her, for nearly 3 weeks now is Immense. I miss her so much. Her moaning, her negativity, is such a deep hole for me. Guilty too for moaning about her. I wish I could spend another day telling her i Ioved her. Her funeral is 26 March, if I am able to go, with current restrictions I will try. Otherwise it will be a streaming service. I've chosen a poem, and some music.   It's hard to come to terms with. MrP and myself had our vaccinations yesterday,  Astra Zenica ones.  I've got a sore arm today and feel a bit fluey. Nothing too bad though . It's difficult with going on with life as she's not here  Lots of love to you both and thank you for listening. Love Carole xx ... View more

Hi girls, just a quick post to let you both know that my Mum passed away yesterday morning. It was peaceful, she went into a deep sleep on Friday and just didn't wake up. I'm not coping too well, I'm here alone and desperately want to have a hug. Still, times are difficult for everyone but for me I've lost my Mum, the pain is unbearable. xxx ... View more

Hi Lily and Lisa Hoping this finds you both well?   As a teacher Lily have you had a vaccination yet?  The UK is way up on the list of countries that have given the vax compared to France who is at the bottom. How is your toothache Lily?   I don't know if it will help but when I've had toothache, I've rinsed my mouth with a spoonful of whisky, then I spit out as I don't like whisky and wouldn't drink it.   I guess if you like whisky then you get the best of both worlds  😂 . Has your daughter had her biopsy results yet? My Mum spent a week and half in hospital being given fluids and ABs intravenously.   She remained stubborn and wouldn't eat, so the hospital decided there was no medical reason to keep her in. An infection hadn't even been diagnosed although something was wrong with her blood test, but no explanation given. She was sent back to her care home last Friday, and everyone hoped she would perk up.   On Sunday the doctor did a video call with mum and my sister, and it was decided to put her on end of life care.   I can't bear the thought that her body is suffering, all the family have telephoned her, we've all said goodbye but she continues to live, but can't now move by herself, she spends a lot of time sleeping, she can't swallow so the only relief to her dryness is a wet sponge lolly. The dr hasn't given a time frame, but I imagine she can't continue like this for much longer.   She hasn't yet been given any medication for pain, but I think not being able to swallow must cause distress. Sometimes life is so cruel, and with it dying too. Mr P is now back at work, a lot of our local roads are flooded and the Dordogne river, along with many other rivers have burst their banks in some places. I'm in the middle of making tomato soup, so better get back to it. Love Carole xx ... View more

Hi Lily and Lisa, I hope this finds you both coping well with the new lockdown, it looks like we will be in lockdown from the weekend again. Mr P had a saga to return home last week, he had an NHS Covid test first 3 days before his return, it was negative but the ferry company wouldn't accept it because the paperwork didn't say PCR! This was  very frustrating for us both as we found out the rules had changed on 19 January. So he stayed with our Son for 2 nights and.    in the meantime had to pay for a private test, which took just about 12 hours to complete and again was negative, but actually said PCR!!!   3 little letters made all the difference. He arrived home Sunday morning.  Today I had my follow up visit to the hand specialist, all is ok but I have to wear a frame thing over 2 fingers, 6 times a day to stretch the fingers which is painful at the moment. On the other hand using my hand to cook, chop veg etc is now much better. Mum is still in hospital, but they are talking about sending her back to her care home tomorrow. She has improved a bit, no infection or other issues except the dementia, she is still very confused but I suppose this will never get any better. YD moved to her rented 3 bedroom house yesterday, believe it or not she's paying 25 euros more for a big house with garden and garage than she paid for a tiny flat.   She is busy with work so is doing well. We are so proud. Hope you are both doing well and all your families too.   Love Carole xx ... View more

Hi girls, an update on my Mum. No improvement since my last post. Last night she had a weak pulse, so on doctors advice she was sent by ambulance to A&E. So far they are treating her with fluids and antibiotics, although they don't actually know if she has an infection. I suspect that as she's basically been sleeping for 2 weeks, she's malnourished and dehydrated. So at least the hospital are treating her for something. Stay safe and hope storm Christoph avoids you both. Love Carole xxx ... View more

Morning from a very frosty, but blue sky France.   I much prefer days like this than grey and wet. Lily you mention a pup and an older dog?   When did you get the pup, or have I missed something.  Has your Mum had her jab yet and how did your uncle fair, any side effects? As it was my birthday yesterday I did a skype call to Mum, I wish I hadn't.  She just looks so awful, propped up in bed and all she does is still droop her head and keep her eyes closed.   Her sight wasn't brilliant before all this, so I'm wondering, as I believe it can happen, if someone completely loses their sight they're not aware that they're eyes are closed. My sister and I will query with her home Manager but like you say Lily, a doctor won't go to see her, so I doubt an  ophthalmologist  will either. I feel so sad that she is likely to end her days like this. We believe she has given up. Lisa hope you and your family are all staying safe, have you had snow or the floods? Love Carole xx ... View more

Hi Lisa and Lily Good news Lily that your uncle has been vaccinated, and I would say be prepared when your mum gets it. My mum had a vaccination a week ago, she's had a rough time with fatigue. Some days she won't get up, some days she goes back to bed, i skyped her today and she couldn't open her eyes and barely spoke. She seems completely out of it. When she does speak she's talking about living with my nan, who died 25 years ago.   It's very worrying as she doesn't seem to be getting over it. The warnings are barely mentioned but maybe Mum is one of the unlucky ones. Lily it's ED who had the vaccination as she works in a care home. Her arm suffered but she didn't have any other side effects. Our young granddaughter is still going to playschool which surprised me as schools are closed, why not play schools? Our weather was cold and dry for a few days, yesterday we had snow which soon turned to rain, so we are now in wet, milder climes. To think a year ago I was planning Mr Ps birthday to Italy, in the end we went to Spain, just before the world went into pandemic mode. Lisa how are you getting on? Have you had snow? Hope your parents are staying safe. All from me for now love Carole xx     ... View more

Hi ladies Lily I do feel for you with the problems you have with your Mum, reading what you described, I could've said exactly the same about my Mum. She hasn't really improved much since being put back on the dementia drug. She still wants to go home, she has lost the ability to use her TV remote control, and never answers her own phone anymore. She hides things and then blames the carers for stealing them.  The carers deserve a medal!   She does still remember me thank goodness.   You mention about your Mum ringing you up in the night, apparently this is a common dementia thing, and often phone 999, that is when it becomes serious. My Mum now often asks my sister (not me yet) why my Dad hasn't taken her home.   Sorry that my reply turned out to be a moan about my Mum, I'm just trying to empathise with you and yours xxx Lisa how are you getting on with work, are you now working from home again?   Any snow yet?   Hope your dad will be in line for a vaccine sooner than later. Even though not guaranteed to keep people safe, it must be a bit of reassurance. Our son had a covid test yesterday because he had mixed with someone who tested positive. Thankfully he is negative. YD had a test because she works in 2 schools she was negative. She will be in line for one of the first vaccines here in France, which I think are starting today with Care Home staff and residents. I woke up today to a complete white mass, and freezing fog.   Not snow just frost but it did look pretty. take care girls love Carole xx ... View more

Hi Lily and Lisa, sorry for not wishing you both a nice Christmas, for some reason I couldn't log on again.  Anyway Lily, I'm sorry that your Christmas was so challenging, and so different for many reasons. Lisa how nice for you that you had a family Christmas no doubt plenty of food and drink on offer. We had a few worries just before Christmas because Mr P finished work on 21 December, and what happened on 21st?????   France closed its border to anyone from the UK.   On top of that Mr P and myself spent many hours on the internet and phoning, trying to get him a rapid covid test. This was like trying to find a needle in a haystack!   Eventually he found a private one at a cost of £225, just what you don't need to spend a day before Christmas Eve.   So he arrived home on Christmas Eve and the rest of our Christmas was wonderful, just us and YD, lovely. He is worth every penny of £225 lol I guess you're both on the highest tier now?   Or is it a full lockdown?   At the moment for us we are free to go anywhere, wearing a mask.   The attestation has to be completed if travelling between the hours of 8pm and 6am. Our weather has been cold and wet. No snow even though it is cold enough.   How about your weather? I'm sad to say I missed Nicky's funeral, is it too late to watch now?   However, it does sound like it was a sad and happy commemoration.    So this is to wish you both a very Happy New Year, and let's hope 2021 is nothing like 2020! Love to you both Carole xxx ... View more

Just checking with Lily and Lisa, how are you both? Always here for you love Carole xx ... View more

Couldn't have put it bloody better Lily. We share a great sadness with the loss of Nicky. Can't say more except what a great lady, and buddy friend Nicky was xxx   ... View more

Dear Helen I am so sad to read this, but thank you for letting me know.   We will all be shocked in Buddies, as we've been chatting for so long and even though I've never met the ladies (Nearly met Nicky once) I feel that we all knew each other so well. Please pass on my condolences to Nicky's husband and daughters, and all her friends.  This seemed to happen so quickly. Take care Carole  ... View more

Well hello buddies. This is the first time for a couple of weeks and I'm on my phone so won't type much. Nice to hear from you Lily, like you I was beginning to think we would never chat again. My mum has been pretty bad with dementia for about 8 weeks. She was started on a dementia drug, and improved then the stupid home stopped giving her it. Consequently she's even worse now. She wants to go home, and can't understand why my dad hasn't visited, and won't believe he's passed away. Hope your YD is coping ok whilst waiting for results, and you get treatment for your eye. Nicky sending lots of hugs hope you're doing well. Lisa where are you? I don't see you much on Facebook.  After this experience with the forum maybe we should exchange email addresses or something, what do you think? Well enough from me take care buddies, it's good to be back xxx ... View more

Please could someone send me a link to the last page of Darling Buddies of May moving on - it's been more than 2 weeks now since I managed a short post. Has the problem been fixed yet? Hi buddies if you see this xxx Thanks Peacock (Carole) ... View more