Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hello, I guess we have all been off doing other things. I couldn't find our thread, what group heading are we under now? I eventually tracked this down through notifications 🙂 I am sorry to hear so many people, friends and family have caught covid and worse dx for some. At least covid usually passes. I agree quite a lot of people have had it recently, who had missed it for 2 years. One of my grandsons had a positive twice in 6 weeks but nobody else caught it, despite him sitting on my MD lap for a week. Then one of the other little chaps and his dad caught it, again the rest of the house missed it. I'm amazed I have survived working in a school with people going positive every day, although a friend caught it and his wife died, which was tragic and so unexpected, shocked us all. I took my uncle for his spring booster today, managed to get him into a chemist for the over 75 jab but mum will need a home visit for hers. All chugging along but keeping me very busy.  Yes Victor has recently retired, last few weeks and says he is going to decorate the whole house and sort the garden out. Not sure how many years that will take but I am keen to move to a smaller place, when one we like comes up. I am trying to reduce my days towards a phased retirement but not happened so far as there is nobody to take my hours. Not sure if they want me to stay as younger folk are much cheaper. But a bit of a shock to the bank account if we both retire at the same time and I still enjoy work so I would like to stay a bit longer. I thought it would be simple but things are not going how I wanted despite giving lots of notice. Will come to the crunch soon. Eldest grandson has just started driving lessons and is in the 6th form taking 4 A levels. He threatens to leave, every week so I spend quite a bit of time supporting him with essays and things I know nothing about!  I hope its better news for the people and animals having tests soon. How are both of you?  Take care love Lily xx ... View more

Hello, Carole many congratulations on your pearl anniversary. Did you have a pearl appropriate present for such a long marriage. Well done. My grandson was 100%, maybe a slight headache on one day and then very frustrated to be indoors and trying to escape! Nobody else caught it off him, not even hi little brother who shares a room with him. My daughter had to be off and they stopped her pay so it was quite frustrating all around. Sorry I worried you, my job has gone so crazy because I have been given so many things to do that I have to learn and I didn't want the job, my tough luck apparently. So yes I am definitely on the retirement trail and things are in the planning stage as Victor retires next month. I hope to work a bit as losing 2 wages in one go would be a bit of a shock. So that would ease us into it a bit more. I don't want to be struggling for money by giving up a good salary.  How awful to see the neighbour's house on fire and yes I ca only imagine how difficult it must have been for you watching and nightmares of what happened to you. How horrible.  The cats sound cute. Its a regular zoo what fun it must be, but hard work too. Are vets expensive in France? Our pet insurance is expensive but you worry about not having it, well I do. Our old dog is 1 in September and the oldest one we have had so far. She still gallops around the fields and eats anything she can get hold of but looking like she has cataracts. I think she relies on the pup to guide her sometimes. My youngest was 30 recently, what a shock that felt like and then my birthday is 2 days later. So a lot of eating out and I got lots of flowers and plants so the house is wonderful an full of beautiful vases of blooms and new plants to find homes for. All house plants which is trickier to fit in. Much love to you and Lisa Lily xxx ... View more

Hello buddies, a belated Happy New Year to you both. I am definitely old now, as time keeps marching past. I am sorry I have not looked in before now and hope that you are both keeping well. I would love to hear how your 'cat nursery' is going Carole, you are such an animal lover and they must bring you a lot of pleasure. Are vet bills expensive over there? Terrible price for pet insurance in the UK. Our old dog Koko is 11 now and the oldest we have ever had, she looks very fit and stuffs her face with any food she can get but has lost a few teeth and rather white round the whiskers. We still have our son's pup here every day and they adore each other. Even wait for the other one to wee before they both run in. He is skiing in Italy so we have her staying at present, which I love. Victor is absolutely fine now an planning his retirement at the end of March. I am currently considering what I will do after taking some pension advice. We would like to travel a lot more but covid seems to keep causing a problem. I need to look into income and outgoings but I can draw all my pensions except the state one which is age 66. I have booked an Italian trip and the rest will probably be in the UK to make sure we get them. I got fed up of cancelled holidays and trying to battle to get our money back. Lisa so how is your new job going. I haven't quite got it clear in my head what you will be doing now but hope it is everything you wanted it to be. Have you booked any hols yet? I'm sure you will have. We were invited to Florida but quite a few of them re anti vaccs, so not feeling confident enough to stay in their house in case they go positive and we can't go but can't claim through insurance either. Well I better buzz off or this still won't get posted. I don't know how many times I have thought I must remember to post and then gone to bed without doing it. Work manic. One of my littles is positive and he is the first one in our family to get it. He has lost his sense of taste and it had to be our fussy eater who will now eat even less. At least he is well even if not eating. Hugs Lily xx ... View more

Hi buddies, time just flies by these days. I was made to have a huge extra job at work as the person who took the pay for it could not manage. They kept all the pay. Anyway despite me hearing myself say this and no thanks I still have to do it. Its annoying as I had got work to a manageable level so I could have a better home balance and now I permanently have this invisible to do list having over my head. Grrrrr.  People constantly want to know when I will have this or that done, so unless I lower my personal standards (which I don't want to), I have to keep trying to get things done with a crappy system, I did not choose and cannot change. So my weekends seem to be oldies and work, sleep and eat. So my apologies when I go a bit too long without a word. I don't even realise I am doing it. Carole I was really pleased to hear your results were not anything else awful to deal with and the new kitten looks too cute for words. Will you have to keep it in for  while so it does not stray? How was your trip to England? I bet you were so excited to see the little ones. Time goes fast with them too. Have your temperatures dropped yet? We got cooler but back to about 15C this week and we are going on our twice cancelled family trip soon, so hoping the milder weather stays. Its not far to travel so I can get back if anything happens with the oldies.  Lisa how is the Bristol commute going? When we spoke you were excited about the new role. How is that going now? I hope mum and dad recovered well and that both you and Carole have managed to avoid covid. I have taken my uncle for his booster but mum can't get in a car so has to wait for the mobile nurse service.  Although I don't think she is quite up to the 6 month recommended time between 2 and 3, but he was able to go on the very first day they offered jabs as much higher in vulnerability. Mum had her 90th birthday despite saying she would not make it. She had such a lovely time and so many people came to see her as we had a buffet and open house. Sadly my brother's daughter got a positive PCR so they could not come to it. So a lot of work getting it all done, handing out tea and then the next day getting the house back to how it was. She thanks me for that day every time I see her , so it definitely feels like it was worth doing. She is having quite a good spell but the shingles seems to have hung around a long time. It has stopped her thinking about any of her other ailments!  Well I better go or I will never get this posted. I hope this finds you well. Love Lily xx   ... View more

Hello buddies, I have no idea why I forgot to post. Just got right into summer holidays and tbh I could have just retired. No such luck and back at work for a bit longer. Thank you Lisa for checking up on me and sorry if I gave you any worry. Always things going on but didn't seem to go online at home and that's what reminds me to add a post. Victor was very ill last weekend and got admitted but thankfully got out on Sunday evening and seems to be ok, a massive infection and they don't know how he got it. I had to just sit in my car and wave through the window or text. Horrible time as his mobile ran out so then we were in the dark as he passed from one specialist to another. After 6 hours outside they said I should go. He is really well now. Mum is 90 next month. She was ill just before Victor and called me to clear all the sick up again. Its not something I find easy, usually joining in if I hear noises. I was just annoyed that she had sent the carer home early and then called me, when the carer should have been there. She is refusing to eat but enjoying the attention of people fussing her to try to get her to eat! We have been through this many times before.  I was back at the dentist this week, so back on painkillers at night but easing up now and that should be my last one for a while. Fingers crossed, Carole the new cat sounds exciting. I have heard of that breed. What name have you picked. Hope the other animals like it and get on. How are you feeling? I hope you can visit everyone here before too long. Lisa thanks again buddy. Is the new car behaving itself? I got mine in April and that's been back a few times too, hopefully not going to continue. Also the new job. So proud of you and I would love to hear about what you do. So sorry mum and dad caught covid but it sounded like they were getting through it reasonably, hope it stayed that way. Yes I was very sad about Sarah Harding too. I did see them in concert in their last tour.  Hugs and apologies buddies love Lily xx ... View more

Hello buddies, I am writing this so I don't have to watch Italy lift the cup boooo. I wasn't sure if school would be worst if we won or lost! They have been so excited about trying to win. Well that's that unfortunately. Carole I am so glad to hear your tests went well. How are you getting on with reducing tablets to have less effect on your heart? I hope you are managing to balance it so you feel ok. Not too fast and not too slow. We have had thick cloud and then rain, so a disappointing lack of a summer recently. We go away very soon just in the UK but it feels very exciting to be going anywhere to be honest. I am really looking forward to it. It is, Victor, myself, YD, her boys and an army of dogs. So that will keep me out of many shops! I am pleased to be able to tell you that my mammos were all clear. It is tough waiting 3 years now and I was a little apprehensive. I am also going through my next big dentist ordeal and have had a tough week with stitches and jaw pain as well as a really big down payment of over £1000. I have the stitches out on Tuesday. My brother has been signed off by the burns unit but it looks grim and it just bleeds at times. Next stage is big yellow pustules they told him 😞 and if he gets any sun on it at all his hand will turn completely black, so he is very glad of the cloudy weather. The insurance is moving very slowly as usual. Mum had another fall and didn't break anything but a bad cut led to a hospital trip and problems healing.  Lisa consider yourself well and truly told off as we miss you and we are the only 3 musketeers left now. NO seriously you come on here when you can or need to. What has happened about your job now because you were going to look for another? Has anything come up yet? Better go as pretty late. Take care much love Lily xxx ... View more

Hello Carole, you didn't mention what sort of numbers you usually see so I am not sure if you are talking about small numbers still. I remember my onc wouldn't even talk about them below 100 as he said they are only reliable at high numbers. I know they can tell more for some people but not everyone. They ever worked for Nicky until she got into high numbers. I know its easy to say but try to wait until you know more. My mother's favourite proverb for this is, crossing the bridge before you get to it. Something she always does. It was my grandmother's favourite saying too. I am glad you have this level of insurance so you can everything tested so well and keep me posted how it all goes. Our thoughts are with you as always. I have never had a PET scan but a friend had one most years but has to travel to London for it. I think it shows detail that others cannot pick up.  Its been a tough week here as my brother moved into a new home, actually it is a very old house and it caught fire and he has been burned as he tried to carry the object which was on fire outside. It is his right hand so he cannot drive and it looks really sore and barbequed. Then the next day my son was robbed while working in London and they took their equipment plus his backpack. So that has been worrying and a lot of problems to sort out. Fortunately the men were all ok, which is the main thing. We are back to rain here which is good for the garden of course but I really enjoyed sitting out every evening so hoping it will be sunny again soon. No watering the garden for me. I've just done my next covid test, which I hate doing and usually have to get sent a reminder to do it. Do you find that having had 2 jabs you start to relax a bit more about them? I know I should be on the ball and will try to remember. We have a staycation booked for in a month and I am very excited about it. We booked to go with just one of our children's family knowing that was the most likely thing to be able to do, so it should be fine. We are just going to the coast and having lots of walks as we are taking all the dogs with us. Will you manage to get away at all. Even the smallest, local break seems to be exciting these days. I can't imagine myself getting on a plane just yet. Mostly I am scared of getting ill in an area without much expertise or enough equipment. Hopefully my courage will increase in time. Our American relatives have not been offered any jabs at all yet, which they are finding very difficult as they are usually able to get anything they want by paying. Strange times we live in. Take care buddies. Love Lily xx ... View more

Hello girls, how are you. Good to her from you Carole. I got quite obsessed with tumour markers during and after treatment and my onc used to leave it off the blood form. He was very amused to hear I added the test name on the form myself because I wanted to know the score. They are not at all reliable at low numbers but become more reliable in some people and when numbers get much higher. So they get a bit more notice taken in secondaries and when numbers go up a lot. Mine stayed around 12/13 even after full treatment and he told me that was normal for people who had never had cancer to still have that sort of number. I wanted it to got to zero but it never did.  I have my mammos next week. I am now on the general 3 year programme for people who haven't suffered with BC but it still spooks me a bit as well as hurting like hell sometimes.  How often do you both have them?  Are you worried about the results Carole? It doesn't take much to throw you straight back in to that worry does it? Keep me posted xx Carole it is really hot here most days and I love the heat but of course miss the best of it as at work. Not that we could compete with those high numbers. It was that here during the afternoon. What with the poor cat passing and the heart beat problems, a difficult time for you.  Perhaps you should ease up on gardening in the extreme temperatures until you get your heart checked out. Just to be cautious. Look after yourself please. Lisa how is the job situation now? Let us know how you are when you get 5 minutes love Lily xx ... View more

Hello , how are you both? I have been absolutely overloaded with work so I do apologise for not coming on here sooner. Trying to sort school exams out this year has been so much harder and I just haven't stopped as we had to catch up after lockdown, teach everything, write the exams and then mark everything instead of the exam board. Not sure anyone else did anything this year. Still going through it with a lot more work to do. I am so pleased it is half term but mainly so I have more free time to try to keep up with it all. I did a lot every evening with my gs so it was quite a stressful time. He is clever but like most lockdown has made him used to a different type of education and difficult to become formal again. He was good and put up with everything I did with him. Hoping to relax and go out a bit. I have 2 of my littles staying overnight. They were very excited to be back and staying away from home. They have been exploring the house, like they can't remember where everything is. I guess a year is a really long time when you are 6. My very youngest seems happiest when you are the other side of glass waving, as he just hasn't had enough time and especially physical contact with us. Getting happier to be slightly further from his mummy and to be picked up by everyone. Carole I expect you may find this too. It must be very strange for the little ones that are not really talking much yet. Yes I had my 2nd astra vaccine too and just felt a bit tired that evening, nothing else. Have you had one or two now Lisa? How are your family as I remember you had a few things going on. Hope all is well. Same with you Carole. Today it was really hot which was nice but a surprise. I think our weather has been similar to France as I have been in 2 jumpers until today. We just had our raised big sundeck replaced and the sun came out just in time for the builders to go. All ready for enjoying the sun and large family meals outdoors. Well fingers crossed we will.  Are you 2 doing anything in the house or garden this year.  Well sorry to rush but my 2 little people will no doubt be up early so better get to bed. Love Lily xx ... View more

Hello girls, how are you. I was so pleased to find posts to read about how you both are and something to answer. I confess my coping strategy is not remembering any anniversaries apart from immediate family, after hearing endless lists from mum who has the lot still in her head. We recently went through my Dad's anniversary of passing and I think she finally understands my need to think how lucky I was to have an amazing dad on his birthday and think nice things, rather than remembering the funeral service and hearing the news. Of course I understand its a different emotion, as you expect to lose parents but partners are different. She is being very nice to me at the moment, which is always the scariest time ha ha, only one way this can go. She talks to me all the time about my brother moving 4 miles away and how it changed everything and when he will go. I said to him she probably does the same to you about me, no he said!! Oh well.  We are very excited about the easing of lockdown here Carole and i hope you soon follow suit. Everyone is planning to turn up non stop so feeling a bit worried about the massive cooking for 16 as I am out of practice. Maybe they can bring a packed lunch so I can just see them all instead of peeling potatoes for a week ha ha. The kids at school will be overjoyed at not wearing masks in class. I just hope it will still all go well. I have my 2nd jab in just over a week at one of the big vaccination centres. I had Astra, the same as you Carole. Have you had one now Lisa? My new car was an Audi TT and it goes so fast, i love it. I changed to an automatic this time and I hope I have eventually stopped trying to go into first gear if I stop unexpectedly. It has so many gadgets it throws me if I suddenly do something wrong, thinking I am in the old car. Very anxious not to destroy my alloys but it is going to happen!  Lisa I was wondering how all the family are now. Mum and her IBS and other problems, dad with cellulitis and your poor brother. How is everyone? A lot in one go. I was worried to hear about your job going but pleased you are seeing this as an opportunity to branch into something new. Will you wait for redundancy or move when you see something you are interested in? Would you work in a hospital at all as I think you would be very sympathetic and supportive, understanding how people are feeling? Keep us posted how it goes.  Do you have any plans to go away yet? I had my first staycation but just to Great Yarmouth for a weekend. I was so excited I felt I was going on a world cruise, it seemed very daring ha ha. First of many I hope. Carole thank you for remembering Val too, as you say, so many gone. My pal Nick 😞 but I still feel that part of her is with me and know how she felt about people still here not wasting time and making the most of life. So I take people with me (in my mind) and think how they would have enjoyed it. I met Nicky twice and we got on like we had always known each other. I miss being Dr Lily to try to support her too. Carole how did your 2nd jab go? Any side effects? I had a flu type side effect and was freezing cold after the first. My temp was 36.0C with 3 jumpers, blankets and the heating up full blast. Hoping to escape it but hey even if I don't I am glad to have it. I only know one person who doesn't want it and they have been listening to a troll who thinks it will genetically change people to make them take orders. Its a good job I was not with her as I would have spat my drink out laughing. I guess they forgot to go to school, what a twerp and to try to stop other people too, unbelievably mean. Just have to hope she doesn't catch it. Has it warmed up in France yet Carole? Our weather is so changeable and this was the frostiest April on record so not good for seedlings. We have booked to have a big new deck built so I am looking forward to that as it is very sheltered and I can sunbathe out of view of anyone so I can brave a bikini. Lol nobody else would want to have that shock, catching my vitamin D fix. Its not healthy but I do love some tan and like to soak up the sun when I can.  Well better buzz off. Work is totally manic. Can you believe my original little chap is taking GCSEs this year, or would be if they had not replaced it with twice as many tests..  Love to all Lily xx   ... View more

Hello buddies, its taking us a while to settle into our thread again after losing Nicky but I hope we can keep going and I don't mind if there is a gap between messages just as long as we can step up when one of needs support. Hopefully we can grow old and chubby together ha ha. No confessions about weight gain needed, we all know that clothes shrunk in lockdown 🙂 Its a fact.  Carole while I felt so sorry for your tears, I think you also needed to do this to be able to grieve and move on. Its quite some time since mum had been the person you knew for most of your life, which I completely empathise with. I was worried about you but you sound like its starting to be a little easier, perhaps not every day. How are you feeling now? I haven't watched the programme so maybe I should give it a go. My guilty pleasure is Love island Australia but I really enjoy keeping Faith, bulletproof and quite bemused by Prodigal Son at present. Fall backs are always back episodes of Vera and other detective series, love them all, especially Endeavour.  What are you watching at present Lisa?  Carole the veg plot sounds impressive. I went out and mowed the front lawn. Sn had been in and mowed the much bigger back lawn but the front lawn is the one that everyone notices and the weeds go crazy if you leave it. I can see all the new plants survived and are starting to bud and open. By tomorrow the cherry blossom will be magnificent before giving me a nightmare for weeks with cherry stones scattered everywhere by the birds. Cherry stones contain arsenic so tricky for the pup, when she visits. We see her right through the week as her day care, which I love. She was one a week ago. Our old timer keeps chugging along and I think the pup came in time to give her a second lease of life. She still chases her round the garden as fast as she can. Lisa its been colder your way. How is the garden looking? I am wondering if you have even been able to mow yet?  Carole my sympathy about the lockdown. All this politics instead of just getting vaccines to save people seems ridiculous. Its the first time I was glad we were out the EU so we could get our jabs done. Now other worries. Its never off the news. Yes your president is taking a lot of flack. I won't comment as it is not really my place and it really annoys me when a relative of ours who emigrated to Spain just seems to email me to mention specific events that happen and how wonderful everything around her is. Well that didn't last for long but I am glad they are being looked after. She is married to an Irish chap so he is ok but she has had to do a lot of paperwork recently to protect her residency there. is it similar for you Carole? Such a worry for people. Well I have booked 2 staycations as I am much too anxious to chance getting stuck in a hospital abroad with covid or a variant. It will take me personally a while to venture out the country. How about you Lisa, are you concerned to travel or are you going to jump straight back into your lovely trips again? You are much younger so have much lower risk than me. Have you had a jab yet? MY second one is in mid May time Carole. Victor will get his ahead of me as he catches an earlier/older group. We both had AZ. Two of my girls do caring and had their jabs recently but all the rest are in younger groups. Son will be in the last group, who now need a different vaccine. My exciting news is that I bought a new car and hope to collect it this week but waiting for a trade in price and paperwork first. I am moving to an automatic to please Victor and so he will drive my car too. It is also back to petrol after being talked into diesel by the salesman last time.  Will be fun but a bit anxious about wrecking the alloys !!! Well the first time I do it after that who cares ha ha.  Well would love to hear any news buddies. Keep safe love Lily xxx ... View more

Hello Carole and Lisa, how are you both? Carole I can't believe it is so long to wait for mum's funeral. I'm sending you a big hug. I think it must be very soon and I will be thinking of you. Mothers day as well, what a difficult time but how lovely that your daughter went to so much trouble to do something nice. She knew how you would feel. I must have walked miles on mother's day as having a walk with someone is about the most we can do. My son ordered takeaway roast dinners so no cooking, which was a real treat but nobody else was allowed to eat with us. I find that the smallest thing is quite exciting these days, like a walk. I wonder how long we will appreciate these small things, when things become easier. I don't think I will travel abroad this year unless things are dramatically better in October. Here seems to be the safest place for now. I have had one vaccine which has made me feel much safer going to work. We had another positive today, its routine unfortunately but upsets me if I have been in the room with them, at the wrong time. Victor has calmed down a lot too since he got his vaccine. He is even talking about venturing into London occasionally. In the middle of all this my son decided to move out to live with friends and I knew it had to happen one day but its taking a bit of getting used to. We have become really close all stuck in  together and have done a lot together. he is coming in regularly to help me out with my empty nest 😞   I am looking forward to schools breaking up this week so I can relax,. Its not easy constantly having to anti-bac or sanitise everything, everywhere you go at work. Yes we have a small local holiday booked for July, a staycation as they are calling them. Our Easter holiday was cancelled for the 2nd time and after 2 years we just got our money back! I am not confident to enough to go abroad and chance one of us getting covid while away, so we get stuck there or worse!  Carole do you think you will travel this summer. I expect the thinking is very different in France from what we hear on the news. I was very excited to get my  oxford astra Z jab but it is not the same feeling across Europe. Maybe the 100% stats from USA will help people to have the vaccine and help save lots of other people.  I worry about a lot. How are you two coping?  Lisa I wanted to check if your family are all well and hope that nobody caught the virus. Well better go Love Lily xx ... View more

Hi buddies, how are you doing? I hope all is well with you. The change of name on here threw me, so I hope you can find your way back. Love Lily xx ... View more

Hello girls, how are you both? The last 3 musketeers soldier on.  Carole how are you feeling. I hope this finds you coping a little better. I thought your choice of poem was lovely and yes beautiful but sad song. Hopefully the service will help you move forward as it brings a natural finish. I think waiting for a funeral is a very difficult time as you feel stuck between hearing the sad news and waiting for that day. My thoughts are with you I had my vaccine this week, the astra at one of the big centres. I had an excellent person who managed to do it without even the slightest frown, so gentle I was waiting for it and realised it was done 🙂 I had to wait 15 minutes as driving and thought I had got way without any side effects as woke up perfect. Then lunchtime of the next day I kept wondering why my back ached a bit and it gradually spread everywhere to the mild flu like symptoms people talk about. Only took a paracetamol to go to sleep as my head hurt a bit. I was really cold though and my temperature went quite low despite 3 jumpers and the heating on pretty high, just for half a day. Nothing to even slow down my day and absolutely worth it for having the amazing vaccine. I really was s o pleased to get it and feel like my invisible armour is growing every day before I go back to school and face the 1000+ students who show no symptoms. It has made me feel much safer. Back on Monday boo.  Mum had hers about 4 weeks ago Carole and we had to have an ambulance out for her. It was expected after 2 ambulances for shingles and really struggles with anything these day. She was still very pleased to have it and thought it was worth it though. The oldies are so brave. Lisa how are you. have you been working from home or have you gone back into the office yet? They must be very busy trying to help everyone. Any plans for this year yet? We have booked a weeks holiday nearby to just literally go somewhere else in July and fingers crossed will be able to go. It will be taking all the dogs and just out and about walking and on the beach. I am strangely as excited as if I was going on a trip to America for a month. How has my expectation gone down. Love to all readers Lily xx ... View more

Hello Carole, I am sorry to hear you are finding this such a tough time, which we all understand. Yes I imagine I am going to go through the same guilt about moaning one day 😞 Its just human nature and after all you are not moaning about your mum. You wouldn't have needed to moan about her. It was the person that dementia and illness had made her and that was not the real her. You know that, so be kind to yourself. My mum used to talk to my dad's photo long after he had gone or you might like to write in a diary as you go through this period of mourning. Then there is something to keep to mark this passing. Do you speak to your sister or the rest of your family regularly? This has made you home sick too and isolated. How about planning for when you can come over and fixing a provisional date?  Anyway thinking of you and hope you can soon think of happier memories love Lily xx ... View more

Hello ladies, just bumping us up to the top again. Hoping you can get on here ok as it keeps getting reversed again, so annoying. Carole I wanted to ask how you were and about the arrangements for your mum so I could be thinking of you that day, across the water. I hope happier memories are starting to help you get through these sad days. Lisa have you made any plans for this summer yet? Its tempting and you always mange to do so much. I am quite afraid of being ill abroad. It is such a scary time to be ill. I have a date for my vaccine now which will make me feel a lot safer at work but a bit worried about the side effects some people have to, as only just better from my last problem. Still its nothing compared to what I could get with covid so I am going to hope I'm a lucky one and be very grateful to have it given to me. Victor seriously needs a slap after telling me the person who did his seemed to think it was a javelin argggh. He has been fortunate to not experience much illness at all so I think he is under-estimating how brave us bc girls are having had cannulas shoved up veins. Carole's were put in between her toes from memory in France (that did make me wince, still does) and mine had to go into the artery of my heart. So I think a weeny injection is no match for us 🙂     Thinking of you both love Lily xx ... View more

Hello, I just read the posts behind this and realised I had not mentioned your friend Lisa. She can't have been very old and what a shock to hear that, for you. I am so sorry to hear that it also made you revisit all the sad memories about Graham and those difficult times. Thinking of you too and hope you, well we all can have some happier days and be able to plan the holidays we love and hug as many people as we want. It seems a little way off still but the vaccines are bringing much hope. I catch the next batch after the big group going through. No vaccines for teachers but I am still at home. Its very hard work doing live online lessons and my eyes are wrecked every day but parents seem very enthusiastic so if it helps the kids and families it is worth it. I would very much like to have had the vaccine and the 3 weeks needed for it to protect you but it seems likely that I will spend every day with 1200 people in narrow corridors and hope I stay safe.  Hugs to both of you. Lily xxx ... View more

Hello Carole, I am so sorry to hear your news. It sounds like she had no quality of life left but I am sure even though you knew this, it is still a big loss and a gap in your life. I wish I had come on here sooner and I apologise that I haven't been here to support you. Its been a difficult time here too but I still would have liked to talk to you. I hope you can gain some comfort from talking to family. You need some company at a time like this and I hope the  company of your lovely dogs helps too as they often sense when their owners are upset and stay close to them. I assume you will not be able to attend the funeral which is another blow but I hope you can be part of her celebration online. I watched my aunt's funeral online and it was unexpectedly nice and we felt a part of it, just the same. How old was she?  Ask them to put aside some keepsakes from mum that will bring you comfort later on. Cyber hugs Carole xxx Lisa I am sorry I have not been on here to talk to you too. I am still coming to terms with losing Nicky and every time I come on here it reminds me. In time that will be a good thing. You are right I had tooth trouble but I will say no more until I announce it is done. Mum had to wait ages for her vaccine and we were ringing most days before it eventually happened a week ago. She had a reaction to the vaccine, as expected and the carer dialled 111 who called an ambulance so another dash over there. The paramedic was horrible to the carer and I. She was grumpy and fierce so mum was scared and acted like the downtrodden old lady after giving me weeks of emotional draining and refusing to eat or drink. Her archaic view is that mum being cared for by an expensive agency in her own home (which is her choice) with 4 visits minimum a day and having anything she wants, was in fact mum being not looked after?? At the point she told me I was unkind for not going to a chemist to consult about anti-sickness drugs (that would fit with her massive cocktail of drugs and conditions) despite the fact that I told her that my brother deals with all her prescriptions and drug reviews, I walked out on her mid-sentence. She told mum that nobody could tell her she should eat and not to eat anything if she didn't want to. Mum is currently on the edge of diabetes and has sky high ketones so we have been urged by the GP to get her to eat carbs to combat this and given warning symptoms to watch for. I didn't say anything as I admire the NHS and will just out this down to her having some kind of mental stress. Meanwhile mum has stopped eating again and using it to control people! She has been very kind about my tooth trouble which at least made her think about someone else, which she is at her best in these situations.  Sorry Carole, I didn't know whether to tell you about our latest drama. That's 3 ambulances in under 4 weeks. I did tell the old bag that she was not taking mum in to hospital as she was better at home unless they had something specific to treat her with, and she replied that it didn't really matter what I thought as she had already decided that mum was able to make her own decisions. Mum wanted someone to sit on the end of the bed and watch her snore all night! I waited until she was asleep and went home, needed to for my own sanity tbh. Victor had the Oxford vaccine yesterday as they are now on over 65s and I hope he will feel happier as he has been very worried. This morning he had mild flu symptoms and felt a bit warm but gone during the day, so hopefully ok tomorrow. Lisa I was sorry to hear your brother needs an op. Will he have to wait until the hospitals are clearer?  Most of all Carole, thinking of you, try to keep busy. Perhaps you could make something to remember your mum by, some needlework that you are so good at or planting something in your garden. Big hugs Lily xx ... View more