Breast Cancer Care Forum

Hello buddies, how are you getting on? I can't decide if I am getting used to this or if its getting worse. I think being really busy probably help a lot. Son is back at work so I can attempt to eat less times a day now. Did I tell you we have new puppy? She has been here a week now and is just such a sweet little pup. She is a poodle and we got her at 8 weeks old. She has not had any accidents in the house, which I am amazed at. Our oldy is vaguely interested but mostly sits on anything that's too high for the pup to reach her. She tends to pretend pup doesn't exist and then when she decides she wants to play, she gives such a loud woof and leap that the pup is petrified and runs for the nearest cover. The puppy is really small and we have gaps at the ide of just about every piece of furniture in the house, that we hadn't actually noticed until she tried to explore. She had been brought up on raw food. Carole what do your dogs eat? Raw food is very in over here for dogs and fans of it think nothing else will do. They even eat bone in it. We brought home 2 weeks of food from the breeder and they said she did not eat very much so we have been worried in case she went down hill. The raw food was just huge lumps and the pup only has those sharp piranha teeth with no chewing ones yet. So she was spending ages trying to just get through it and then giving up or just playing. So we have moved her to pouches of food which are part raw I think and have veg in too but most of all it is softer and not huge lumps of gristly bits. So she loves this and is eating a lot more now :). She is officially our son's dog so he is getting the early morning rushes to go in the garden. Perfect, enjoy  puppy but have no night disturbances. Nicky I know what you mean about the virus. I have one oldie who is shielded and they told me he is right at the top of that group. I have a special code for him and have to give online updates on his health to the NHS. They wanted it every day which I was not going to do, as I don't even see him every day. He misses going out as he has no idea what the virus is and can't remember anything so blissfully happy at least with no worries. Mum is in the old group being 90 next year but is not shielded. She can't get out anyway so might as well be in that group. She understands it all so its playing on her mind and making her depressed and often very moody. Usually comes my way. Then my bil had an accident and can't use his right hand. I had to leave him at a and e as nobody can go in with you, except if children then one goes in. We have taken him 3 times and go again later this week. So all our distancing slipped with him as I found I couldn't drive with a mask on, thought I was going to pass out. He lives alone and has not been anywhere at all, so he is like a shielded person but need not be either. It gets so complicated but he can't drive with one hand and you can't go in a taxi or on the bus. So I am shopping for 4 households again, takes me hours to sort them all out and deliver it all. I don't mind but I must go out more than anyone I know as I try to avoid going straight from one to the other to reduce risk. How are your hands from all the washing? I have been using a thick hand cream day and night and so far they are ok. I have been asked if I will go back to school to teach. What a dilemma. I feel if doctors and nurses go then why not me, except we will have no ppe at all in school. I get paid so I should work like everyone else has to. I want to help the kids taking exams next summer. However I will get a lot of contacts. My oldies won't survive if I take it to them. Victor is worried he will not do well due to being  oldish and male plus he has asthma. So I don't know what to do at the moment but I have a little longer to decide. Any advice? None of my girls are sending their youngest in as they each have one of the first called to go back. The youngest who would have sent one of hers has only been offered a single day each week and its not really worth the risk as  his brother isn't allowed to go. The other 2 would have maybe gone in have been told its 4 full days and you have to go to every one and that has spooked them. So nobody here is feeling confident to send them and they can only play with children they are told so they don't think they will be happy.  Carole how do things look over there? I wondered what types of businesses and shops are open now? Are you finding it ok to get everything you need? I can't remember when I last bought diesel as I drive so much less these days! How are the veg coming on? Everyone here has gone baking and gardening crazy it seems. For week it has been difficult to even buy flour, such is the demand. Nicky I do feel for you as good days are so important when chemo cuts into your weeks. Glad to hear you are finding some isolated walks but I expect that is getting harder as people can go out for longer. We know someone who is 83 and has lung cancer and caught cv19 and pulled through and came out of hospital. Amazing and I don't know why we can't hear more stories like that to give people more hope. What did you decide to do about visiting your mum or not? Mine would have just wilted and died if we had not seen her so it was an easier choice. She refuses to eat if unhappy. A much easier decision with someone who is already at the end of their life but for you, its risking so much more. I do feel for you. Have you had the CT scan now? Keep me posted what the latest results are when you get them. Fingers crossed this chemo has been doing its thing and making a difference. Sorry to hear it gives you tummy trouble, do you have any medication to help it? I once had those terrible tummy cramps and was given buscopan which also had something to stop cramps and it was really very good at taking the cramps away completely. It reminds me a bit of when I was on the cmf part of my treatment and I could not eat any fruit or veg at all, not even a single cherry tomato. Have you tried just taking all fibre out your diet and having a carbs and protein few says around the treatment? I found eggs were really helpful too. Couldn't eat even a slice of apple until I came off it.  Might be worth trying. I hope it is going well because you would put up with anything for a good result, I know. Lisa just wondering how you are if you get a second to reply. I have been thinking about you as there were a lot of cases in the north, hope all is well. Love to all Lily xxx ... View more

Hello everyone, how are you getting on? I know a lot of people find the mental aspect of the isolation from family and friends most difficult. We can go out for longer but now I have so much work I don't have so much time. Typical! My son would have loved to go fishing on his own and of he couldn't but now he could and he is back at work. He was not very impressed to be sent to right down to the south coast in a town location in case he got a lot of people coming to see what he was doing. As it happens they didn't but it was a long journey each day and back as you can't stay there. Quite a good journey time though. Victor is working at home as usual, nothing different there, still starting work at 5am!! He just uses zoom instead of the once a week trip into London and stays home all week. I am really busy as people think of more and more and more things they could get a teacher to do. I am already trying really hard to say extra chatty things on all the work, send feedback to every student for every piece of work  and email my tutor group every day and reply to every single person who emails me. So when we all get extra things to do it gets a bit of a heavy load and I find myself working parts of Saturday and Sunday. I like doing it as I know how tough it is for some of the families trying to teach and do a job or for those whose pay or business just got trashed and I try to make what I send easy to understand and encourage them. Its a tough time for everyone that is for sure. Now we have a return to school on the horizon and that is really tricky because it increases my contacts hugely and then I could take cv home and also to mum 😞   . Waiting to see what I get asked/ordered to do - I don't know which it will be. On a brighter note the weather has got a little warmer again although it seems I see the sun, decide to wear shorts and then it clouds over. I am soon coming up to missing my 2nd holiday 😞   . Have any of you booked anything? I don't see the point at the moment having had 2 holidays cancelled and only one is refunding our money. The other we have to go at a later date or lose our money, so we popped it over to next year. It seemed safer. I hope you managed to get your treatment Nicky and that the jabs are working well to help your counts go up. We have a funeral next week, surprisingly quick really but I think I told you we cannot go. Mum is upset that they won't let her send flowers. I don't understand why they won't let her, but immediate family say she only wanted one and it will be theirs naturally.  Sometimes you wonder why things have to be difficult. Anyway Carole it was lovely to hear from you. I have no idea how to get photos on here and won't try so thank you for being good on the tech side. I feel great empathy with you on the mums. They are so feisty but I think that is why they got through all the hurdles in life along with some good luck. Mine is pretty much 100% upstairs and knows and tells me everything she can't do, which is not easy either. Especially if you are one of the only people going in - prime target. Although somebody has been singing my praises as she has been saying she is sorry I have to do so much. This is new! Today I got up at 7 and got home at 11 after shopping for 4 households and then staying with mum for a bit and sorting her bills and payments to her many people she employs. I am glad to hear your confinement is over Carole. Does that mean you can go anywhere? I haven't heard what your current rules are. The whole news here is taken up by the million questions, ideas, rules and queries everyone has in the UK, with different ones for England now. Its a lot to take in and I just hope that people stick to it so we can get closer to normality. Anyway hope this finds you all ok and managing love Lily xxx ... View more

Hi everyone how are you? Carole I loved the bird photos thank you. Not sure I have ever seen one of them so possibly native to France. Thank you I think I have mum over the worst now but she is finding being told she cannot send flowers disappointing when she cannot go herself due to restricted numbers as well as her lack of mobility of course. I didn't think it would hurt to let her as there will only be one flower arrangement. She is a bit low so I am glad it is not raining as that gets her on the best of days!  I hope the time passes quickly until you get someone back in the house. Everyone over is crazy home baking, could you plan something nice to freeze? I am sure homemade diabetic food is much better than bought items.  Take care x Lisa how are you getting on? I hope everyone has stayed well and safe. Nicky yes thank you, I needed to let off steam that's for sure 🙂   I found him fighting off an ant attack today with cloths stuffed in every hole he thought they might come out of. He had also taken 3 days of tablets and was rather excitable ha ha. We are managing ok with family all helping and actually the place is so much cleaner. So what were they doing? How are  things progressing with your inlaws? Are you able to set a funeral date yet? Its so much harder when you can't go through that stage and feel in limbo. Since then I have heard of another couple who went like that 2 weeks apart and they have said a broken heart. Sad but quite special too. My aunt's is in just over a week so they were fortunate to find room so soon, as you say only 10 allowed and one is the vicar so 9 relatives and none of us can go as it is a large family. In a way it make sit easier being told none of us can go, rather than go through guilt/worry about contacts. Have you need able to have chemo yet? I hope you have been able to get the next one in and that the injections worked to boost your system. Do you think you will have to have them each time now? I  believe many of them you can do yourself if you feel up to it.  I have been quite happy working at home as it has meant I am near for any of the calamities my folks get themselves in from time to time. I feel quite anxious about news about teachers going back but the unions are involved now which will probably settle things or stop them. I do want to be back to work and help the kids but I am going to get so many contacts I fear I will start my own epidemic amongst my nearest and dearest. I wait to see what happens. Hope you are all well love Lily xxx   ... View more

Hello everyone, I hope this finds you all ok. I am sorry I haven't been on here sooner, my days all seem to blurring together. I like to do the Thursday clap and then missed it this week because I hadn't remembered it was Thursday, so annoyed with myself.  I can hardly believe it has been over a month with just us in the house almost 24/7. We have had a lot of construction going on in the garden to keep s busy. He has no work as he is furloughed so we kept thinking up projects to keep him busy. He has been running for miles or cycling in his exercise time to try to get rid of some of his energy. Reminds me of the gs who have to run off their energy! It seems tougher to be at home with nothing workwise to do than being really busy like Victor and I are. I have never had so many meals and snacks each day in my life, so unlikely my work trousers will do up when I go back. Still they break up the day and we all sit and have them together, in the garden until this rain turned up. I know its good for the garden but I preferred it hot. This week my Aunty died, she was in a care home and had been in bad health for some time so it was not a shock but it was as she had got better after the same thing so many times. I had to drive over to tell mum the next day as I didn't want to hear the news at night and then be alone. It was a shock and she was fine, then very odd and then tearful much later. As you unfortunately know too Nick, funerals are very difficult at the moment. I know so many people now who have lost oldies, its wiping a generation out 😞   So we don't know if we can go. I am hesitant as her siblings cannot go out the house, let alone to a gathering. If I represent them, then am I risking bringing something back. In a way it will be easier if I am told there is not enough room for me to go, especially as there will be several people there who are working in a covid area of a hospital. Does it sound mean to not take the risk? So I join the many who have lost people. Nicky how were the arrangements made for your inlaws? Have they been able to arrange services? Its a difficult time anyway, but so much harder at the moment. Mum has been keeping me very busy, so its trying to juggle online work with her. I now have a code for my uncle as he is shielded and I have to input information about him to the NHS every week. Its bizarre but he is the highest level risk, even though he doesn't know it and keeps knocking on people's doors! Mum would fall apart if he went too. I have been so mad with people on the tv talking about the charities helping people. I am really really glad they are of course but why did all his have to pack up and go home? I still don't understand how they can tell someone of the highest risk category  that they will be back in June. I have had numerous phone calls from people and volunteers to check on him. Most of them tell me he can go on a website where there is lots of information. Information cannot feed you, bath you or sit and talk to you. He has never owned a mobile or a computer. He can't cook for himself and they can drop food 2 metres from the door to cook for himself. They can't ask what he would like so they send coffee when he only drinks tea. They ask me questions about if he is self distancing and if he knows what the virus is and then get all flustered when I say no he has dementia. They ask me if he can fill a health form in every day or if I can do it every day. The dr asks me to monitor him when he goes blue and tells me I need to sit there and monitor him, when she is 400 metres away and is the one with the medical knowledge. I just don't get how all of these organisations and all the volunteers and everything so wonderful people are doing, but his all go home, because of the risk of working. Sorry I will shut up now but I am start to lose my rag with people asking me questions and not doing anything. He deserves so much more. Nicky have you been able to have the next dose? I have lost track of days to know if you have  been or will be recovering from the s/e at the moment. I hope it all went smoothly as possible and you didn't feel at risk of contacts during the time out.  Keep me posted about how you are doing. Its so difficult for all of us to not see people too. ED brought us a cake as a present today and the littles were in the care. He was beaming away and I was glad he still recognised me. I managedto throw some sweets through the window without getting too close and gd was very excited. Ed is very germ conscious so we will see if it survives her antibac cleaning. I think she cleans all of her shopping. The family all seem to react in different ways so some will shout from the road and others are totally hidden away. We all go on houseparty and are having family bakeoffs and most recently a drawing competition where everyone had to draw something. They are very arty so I was embarrassed by my terrible attempt and their kind comments lol. The gc are all so busy nd their schools have been phoning every week and dropping off their work for the tinies. Its so hard for ones who have not been at school long or who are changing schools in September and missing all the lovely end of school events like trips away. Teachers have been sending them videos to keep in touch. Eldest gs wishes they wouldn't as he is totally swamped with work. He is expected to do well academically so he is really getting a lot. I don't think he quite comprehends that if he does everything, he automatically gets sent even more each week, as they can never have nothing to do. He is conscientious and doesn't like to leave anything! Have nay of you been trying something new? I know a few people have decided to learn a language or to play an instrument. I learnt piano but have not played for years. Might have a try this week. What are all your hobbies when youget time for them?  Well I will buzz off as I feel like I sent an angry post so I am sorry and I m in admiration of those many people out there who are helping. Bless them. Love Lily xx ... View more

Hi Ladies hope you are all keeping safe and well away from the invisible enemy. Carole I can't believe you have another condition poor you. How on earth will you do physio and you mentioned 1 metre, we are 2 metres away but perhaps you just mistyped? That will be very quiet without Mr P. I think you need to learn dog language so you can woof at each other 🙂 Having a paper document to go out really scares me as it makes me think of terrible times when people had to have them. Do you know of any people who have cv19? I just wondered if it is around your area. I hope not. We seem to be having more in our local hospitals after a quiet spell considering we are not that far from London. Our friends in London are not venturing out at all and say they are really scared to go anywhere near public transport. Like a lot of folk in cities they are in a flat so no garden at all to get out in. I try not to mention ours when we speak but why is it that if you try not to say something, it just flipping comes out your mouth before you know it!!  Lisa has the lovely hot weather got to your part of the world? I am getting a tan in April!! Never had so many bbqs. Nicky I am sorry your counts were too low. I always believed eggs helped mine.. I also remember nuts and apricots are things that help. trying to remember which type of nut in particular. I hope you will be good for your next one. I don't blame you for locking yourself in and think I would too. Its easier with me for my 2 oldies because they have told me they want me to visit and accept the risk but for you its so much more complicated. We don't want you to get it after this enormous battle you have had with bc and being on chemo wrecks your immune system for a number of days especially. Watching the tv adverts could you order a portal for her so she can see you and chat? They look really good for every day chat but not sure how expensive they are. Mum gets depressed very quickly if I don't se her too. Your brothers can visit to help an elderly relative from what I understand, so maybe to put new light bulbs in and fix something visit would be fine, plus shopping. I really think they are allowed to do this. I am ok but not dread the day one of has it and then have to wait to see if I've given it to the oldies too 😞   However, they will definitely both kick the bucket by starving if I don't go, so I don't have to make a choice. I have to go. My girls are now part of his housework care team. You would laugh as my grandma never believed in wasting anything. So if I did a bit of housework for her, she would get me a cloth and it always turned out to be someone's old pants 😞   I sent them a text today listing jobs to do and what cleaning materials I had bought, including a big roll of j cloths. Back came the reply, thank god I thought I was going to get his old pants :). I know what you mean about all the other shopping items. I would really like some disposable gloves but have none and can't find any and really don't want to hunt through lots of shops. I can't remember when I last saw hand sanitiser so just what I have left over and hand wash is a bit hit and miss in our shops too. For paracetamol Tesco hide them behind the pharmacy counter of the bigger ones and you have to go up and ask. They are 65p but like gold dust these days. I was thinking of raiding mum's 100 a month tub if I get desperate but still got some left at the moment. I really miss being able to go to the bakery to choose cakes and to eat out. They say restaurants will be the last to re-open. I think you will have to book weeks ahead when they do. Either that or everyone will be too scared to go still. Nicky I know how your daughter feels and I find myself just saying I am buying for 3 people as my trolley is quite full. This week at least most people were on their own except a woman with a tiny baby in a sling with a blanket over it. It was worrying to see a little one out in the supermarket. They are much quieter these days, no screaming.  Nick get munching good stuff and fingers crossed your counts will go up. What are the side effects of this one like? Hope not too horrible buddy. Hugs to all reading love Lily xxx ... View more

Hi everyone, how are you? Back to work for me in the morning, in my online classroom. Our school is open for children of key workers but I'm so busy I have said I can't manage to do it at the moment. They seem to have lots of volunteers and the risk to pass it on is too high especially for the oldies, who are keeping me very busy with one disaster after another this week. Victor has had a letter too and I was surprised how much it affected him. I think the longer you stay in, the more concerned you become about venturing out. I am in and out non stop with my oldies care and shopping so no choice.  Nicky, thanks for that and I have had calls and made calls myself but its no good for him, its focused at people who are capable but not allowed out to get things they need. I know everyone talks about the volunteers and don't get me wrong, I do think it is marvellous but the help they offer stops 2 metres from the front door. There is no help for his sort of problem at all. Its not the staff self-isolating either, they have suspended all his personal care, his house cleaning and his clothes washing. Just sent a letter with a few days notice saying will be back in June maybe. So yes he is shielded, in that very first letter group because of end stage lung disease, also has dementia so doesn't remember there even is a virus let alone what self distancing is and now his support package have dropped him. One was the care team set up by his social worker when he was hospitalised and the other team are from Age Uk, we pay for both. He is travelling back in time and I think we are currently around 1960s so no idea who he thinks I am. He does not recognise a microwave and would not know what it was. He is very happy living in his childhood home as everything is familiar but needs help to live independently. I have had calls from volunteers to offer free food like tins to make his own meals (he can't), to collect meds (they are monthly delivery we have already paid for), anything as long as its 2 metres from the outside of his door. I don't think there is anything else. The gp would not come out when he couldn't breathe and I had to stay there and monitor him and talk to the surgery by phone. The gp was 300 metres from his home! They said they only do a talk on the phone or 999 ambulances and thought too risky for him to chance go in. Just had another volunteer phone to ask if he understands and is following the guidelines. About 20 questions. Really? What part of dementia confused you? They asked if he could go online and enter daily questions about his health. What part of dementia confused you? They actually laughed out loud when I said he doesn't know what a computer is and has never owned one. Anyway that's how the scheme has worked out for him. Everyone is shocked and thinks its wrong but still nothing! I am relying on family and paying carers I know through mum's care firm privately, to keep him going. Its not a very easy time to find people and if work starts its going to be a disaster. Also it means he is now getting contacts from a lot of young children through family doing things for him so shielding is out the window and we are on fingers crossed luck. I can see from your post that you have a lot of challenges too. I thought your daughter was back with you at home, so had hoped you might have a few people to help with the food shop and other things. I hope you can find some solution to help you out. Have you managed to get any deliveries yet? The normal ones come on line each day as they release another day, one at a time. If you need to know how, I can text you as we have been managing to get some to try to keep me from taking the virus in to mum and uncle. Tesco are 3 weeks ahead but asda are only one week ahead. Also try click and collect as you drive up and they just put the bags in your boot for you. Its a little safe  trip out as well as charges your car battery so it doesn't go flat. I would say find a store which does not service a really busy area or somewhere that has 2 big supermarkets close and target them. Phone the store and ask what time they put new slots online and then sit up and get ready. I am happy to help any more if I can. We have all been trying to work it out from people we know who were successful and not too bad now. Everyone I talk to is going crazy with issues and problems, not sure if anyone is finding this an easy time. Mostly I worry for people like you and other friends who are on chemo or much older. I worry about the baby too, ED is really scared stiff as he's been very poorly for weeks already. I miss seeing them all but at least we have mobiles. Carole how are you and Lisa? Keep your chins up everyone and most of all keep those chins safe. Sorry I let off steam, feeling really under pressure at times knowing I will most likely be the one who takes the virus in to them 😞 ... View more

Hi everyone, hope you managed to find some nice time during the Easter weekend. We were a little frustrated as we should have been away and have never ever managed to get such a good week for weather. Just coming up for Mds first anniversary and you may recall it was so warm she got married outside. Poor couples this year will not have been so lucky and I think when people plan for so long ahead it must be very upsetting. Lisa, if you haven't spotted it, the quick way to get to the last page is to scroll straight to the bottom and click on the last page, which is 158 at the moment. That takes you straight to the end. It used to do this after some people posted as you could choose ascending or descending but now some twit has got us stuck. Carole I think we are just waiting for our next lock in date, due any time now. I have never watched the news so much in my life and we all watch the daily briefing now, without fail. Its puzzling how so many countries are reacting differently and the giant jumps in numbers like Russia was suddenly very bad today. Its difficult to know what comes next. I do think there is going to be evidence of better immunity in the population of some countries, either naturally occurring or through immunisation programmes, making a difference, as well as their current health policies on cv19. It is just getting into my area, which I sadly predicted correctly having tracked the changing stats coming our way, possibly out of London which is ahead of us in time for the virus and in easy commutable distance. I have been nagging the family to stay in even though I can't myself. Most people in our road have not budged at all and I feel bad every time I go out to sort the oldies out or get food for them and us. My uncle's care firms have both decided to abandon him completely despite him being a shielded person. They sent a letter giving me no notice at all so I have no choice but to keep going over. I have to stagger my visits to mum as I get all her shopping too, as I feel its a bit more risky to go straight from the shop to them or from one straight to the other's home. So I am out a number of days looking after someone or getting their food, meds, etc. Victor has not been anywhere at all but son uses his hour to do a big run or cycle somewhere and back. Its a strange time we live in. I hope all of you and your families can stay safe and well through this worrying time.  By the way I have been sending letters to the grands and they absolutely love getting post. So if you haven't thought of it why not send one to the children in the family. I send postcards when we are on holiday too, even though we get back before them. The excitement of post is getting forgotten by this generation. Two of mine were so excited they drew a thank you poster for their posty and stuck it on the door for him. So I guess that is a hint that they hope he will bring more!! Love Lily xxx ... View more

Hi ladies, nice to hear from everyone. Hope you are all manging to get through however you can. Carole glad he does not need an op as you really don't want to go anywhere near medical places at the moment for anything except a complete emergency. I pray I don't need the D as they are only seeing emergencies too. I guess it would be the same everywhere for that.  If you take a pet to the vet apparently they take the dog out your car in the car park, sort it, then ring your mobile and transfer money/touch card. So I am trying to treat our dog's gammy eye myself but it is a bit grim. Left over effects from the op she had on her eye and nearly died as can't have NSAIDs. They found that out a bit too late. When will Mr P go back to the ferries? I don't even know if they are running a service, maybe very restricted? How about the rest of your family?  Lisa I feel for children and their birthdays but I think when we get back to normal there are going to be a lot of belated as well as new celebrations to enjoy. Better start saving now. My son says he has never been so well off as he cannot go out. I'm shocked how much a night out costs these days. I think its quite tough being with just Victor and I but not as tough as being in a house alone as he cannot work at present. He has been told this time is all his holiday more or less so he has money but will lose time to enjoy being let out, one day. So we have monopoly tournaments, wii golf and bowling, movie nights, online quizes etc every evening. A lot going on in the garden too as we have quite a lot of land, so never run out of jobs here. They are building a patio but we are now held up until a delivery arrives. Even more annoying the lawnmower got trapped in a closed repair shop, so that's another delivery to get a new one. What is going on at work currently Lisa? Are you in every day or working from home? Have you thought of fostering a little dog to keep you company, they are always calling out for people to stay with for a little while. Not sure I could ever give them up though. We are having a puppy this summer, just hoping all goes well as I have no idea how we will get it and get the jabs, etc. Our oldy is 9 and still likes to play so think she will enjoy the company and someone to wrestle with. The puppy pictures are so gorgeous but its still a while to go, fingers crossed all will be ok. I laughed at you spraying your shopping bags for mum and dad 🙂 . I hope they can stay safe and well so you can get back in there soon and give them a big hug. We have managed to get quite a few deliveries which is helping a lot. Victor hasn't been anywhere at all and I think it is concerning him as he doesn't like me going out either. No choice with my oldies and as I say to him someone has to go out and catch a wild pig and drag it home! He has been badly asthmatic and I think he will probably lock me out if I start coughing too much !!! Nicky how are you getting on? I know several ladies still on chemo and they all worry about any possible contacts but I think the hospitals are on the ball with total separation of covid patients. I can see you are over the steroid mania now, do you get the red face? I always looked like I had a tan for a few days. Good to get out yes its been amazing weather really and I caught the sun this weekend a bit. We hit 22C one day, very fortunate. Not looking so good for next week though. I am getting a sense of deja vu from your posts as the same problems after you lost your dad. My dad too as you may remember the same happened to him after dying on holiday, makes it so much worse as you feel in limbo instead of moving to the expected service and grieving. The coroner's office must be so busy that I think it might be a wait for everyone. My local friend lost her mum but she lives in the Midlands. They are allowed 18 people to the funeral and the rulings on going to cremations were astonishingly different from down here. I wonder if that I part of why they have a bigger problem there. My mum worries as we were told nobody to a cremation and 10 to the outside part of a burial. She has to be cremated to go in with my dad, which are her wishes and the space is ready. She got in a panic. I told her she can sit on my mantlepiece in a jar until we can do it properly, which amused her no end. It won't be funny of course but she wanted to know she will get to meet her plan eventually. I hope your OH'S parents can soon be released and go on their final journey together. On the delivery front the people I know rang Tesco and they were put straight on the list and can now get deliveries. Although Tesco release slots 3 weeks ahead but with Asda it is only 1 week head so you can get a slot more quickly. my daughters are on the case telling me all this, as one was in quarantine for 2 weeks and added all her shopping on to my slot if she hadn't got one soon enough. I am trying to relax a little this fortnight as I have just the oldies and home with a bit of a rest from manic online teaching. This will get far worse as soon we have to try to mark/rank/grade all the year 11 students as well as getting lessons to everyone else. Can you imagine what it will be like. They will open their results knowing each teacher put that grade down, although there are other measures to modify this. I don't know exactly how it will pan out but I feel the potential for angry parents/students is very high!!! Will leave that worry for another day. Take care and stay safe love Lily xxx     ... View more

Hi Ladies, Nicky yes I did read your post and replied but no idea where that has gone to. I get our very first page too which is confusing and annoying. Then go to the bottom and click the biggest number and eventually get here. I wonder if this post will stay. I was so shocked by your latest post. I cannot believe they have both gone together so quickly but I understand what you mean as they probably would have chosen it this way. Very hard for everyone left behind though to cope. My friend's mum has suddenly died too after a short spell in the hospice and I wonder how many oldies actually caught covid19 while being treated for something else as they would not understand the social distancing, or needed that closer care in their daily life to function. Her mum was not allowed to see any family at all in the time she was in hospital and was given the very unexpected news that she had weeks, while completely on her own, they were told by phone, so cruel. The local hospice allow one completely gowned visitor a day for 30 minutes. It wasn't weeks. Its been an even tougher time than usual. Such a cruel time for people to bear. My thoughts are with all of you at this sad time. How is your poor husband? I have no idea how they even carry out funerals after hearing that nobody can attend a cremation any more. Somebody told me a story of someone not allowed to go to the funeral of their young son, which is unbearable to think of.  On a brighter note the mask and gloves is a brilliant idea to keep you safe. I think I am a bit scared to go to the shop let alone the hospital I had an appointment and didn't go as I had a possible contact that day at school and didn't want to start a chain of contacts, so tried to ring to cancel. That was a joke, in an hour I went from caller 6 to caller 5, then had to go back to work. Then when I got home they had decided to close appointments  early that day and every day, so it had closed. They have accepted my reason and will send another appointment but not sure I want to go as not urgent. Bit scared to even go there. My uncle is one of the highest risk with end stage copd and we have had the NHS letters and calls to offer help but they haven't quite been able to help him as the system will deliver food parcels for you to cook but he has dementia too so I had to have the cooker cut off as he nearly set the place alight. He cannot cook but has meals delivered and out on the table to make him eat it. I am stuffed if that company cannot work. Its not ideal and I have to go in too but he cannot be just left and care homes aren't doing too well either if I moved him.  With both my oldies I am settling for quality rather than quantity of life in the decisions I make, with their permission. Mum will deliberately starve herself If I don't go in plus I do all her shopping and bills, etc. This is surprising the way she is with me at other times?  Carole you would not be allowed to see her at all even if in this country I am afraid, as the care homes are losing people fast once the virus gets in from visitors or staff. Perhaps they would let you do a face to face call or a carer might let you send whatsapp pictures to each other if you asked? I send pictures of mum and I to the family who all had been visiting regularly. Its the best you can do sometimes. Yes Carole mine is the same when he is injured. They say that is why men are faring worse with covid19 because they smoke more and react less quickly. Poor Boris, I hope it goes well over the next few days too. My goddaughter works at St Thomas and I wonder if she will be involved in his care. We tried out the exercises that a dr put online for you to try if you think you are getting the virus to help you recover. Have you all seen this and about not lying on your back too much  as it is encouraging pneumonia to form? You can look it up if you want something positive you could do to help yourself. If not I will try to explain how to get it, if you let me know on here. How are you all feeling? I feel really quite scared at times and forget it at other times. I have to shop for 3 households so have to keep joining the long queue and hoping I don't take it back to everyone. No other choice with my 2 housebound, alone and unable to do anything.  Carole it must have been upsetting to miss your visit. I could literally get to mine in 5 minutes but still can't see them 😞   Nicky you must be the same , missing this lovely time with them. Lisa missing seeing your parents and family too. Hopefully being busy at work will help you get through lonelier times at home at present. I have been thinking about everyone living alone and hope you are ok. I have so much work to do, I wonder how I ever got it done before! I've probably been getting up late and watching too much tv. Well I better finish here. My condolences to you and all the family Nicky. I can't quite get over the second news. It will be so difficult to arrange things too at present. Most of all you buddies keep yourselves nice and safe. We have faced worse but this is one we should also be careful about. Much love Lily xxx ... View more

Hello ladies, how are you getting on with this strange way we find ourselves living in? I find it is quite easy to lose track of days and times. I realised today that I had not changed the hour on my watch and it hadn't made any difference. Strange for someone who watches the clock all day to have lessons starting and finishing on time to keep the school day ticking over. I thought of lots of things I would do if I was home but actually it takes longer at home as I have over 200 individuals and parents now rather than 7 classes. I am having to ramp up my ancient tech skills to accommodate setting work and most difficult, marking and giving feedback to everyone online. Haven't been too adventurous yet while I settle into it. I have replied to every single query on the same day it was sent to me and given out hundreds of lost passwords. I fit this around foraging for shopping and delivering it to my 2 oldies, neither of who have the foggiest idea what is going on outside their door. Both are highest risk so I probably take a chance every time I go in but when they live alone, they will starve if I don't. Its bizarre travelling along our busy roads as they are so empty. No fierce police stops here yet. I seem to go out more than everyone else in our street put together but it is just the essentials we are allowed to do. I don't exercise out at all, no time left. Then in the evening we do something together like bowling on the wii, online quizzes or houseparty chats to the rest o the family. This week we all have a bake off and have to create something with the limited resources we have, should be funny. Son has cabin fever as he has no work whereas Victor and I have as much if not more than usual. ED has been in isolation and escapes this week. I miss seeing the baby especially as they change and forget you so quickly. Still working out how to do the Easter egg run this year. Sad about our lost holiday which I would have been about to go on plus my birthday trip which won't happen now. Still I will be content if all my nearest and dearest all sail through this ok. I think we all feel the same. Nicky I hope your counts are high enough to have your delayed dose this week. I have been devastated, for those it will affect, to hear that so much cancer testing and treatment is being postponed. Although of course I understand the need to throw everything into action against covid19 spread. We should be able to look after everyone and I feel sad that choices have to be made, especially for those most involved by this change just when they need it. I hope it will not have any impact on your timings of doses and results. Are you expecting to have more change, it sounded like you thought it likely. How are things going? I sense a bit of restlessness in your post and you are on my mind. Do we need a big chat about medical stuff, you know I will always do my best to keep in touch with your treatment and be here to bounce ideas off? Are you managing to keep your spirits up without seeing the rest of the family? I hope so.  Carole I was thinking the same about you. Are you managing ok? How are things with you in France? That's when you miss home and family more. Hope the dogs are keeping you company and busy 🙂 Lisa glad to hear you are keeping well as you often get a bad cough in the winter. Good to keep isolated. Poor mum and dad, are they on the mend from all their illnesses now? I don't think I would go to mine if they had someone else in the house but they are totally isolated, so it was not a difficult decision. She wouldn't last 10 minutes without milk for a cup of tea. Being in Tenerife must have been scary. I don't think I will chance going abroad at all this year, even if we get to a clear point in time,  just in case. Well I better buzz off. The only good thing is that nobody is allowed to go to the D Lisa. Hooray. Take care, keep safe and well my friends and talk on here when you can. Much love Lily xxx   ... View more

Hi ladies, how are you all? We haven't heard from you for a while Lisa, s hope everyone is ok as I know your parents have had some health issues not too long ago. I bet you are going to miss holidays like the rest of us this year. Its such a worry to whether you will even be able to get your money back. Our UK holiday has gone and the firm have not been good. No option of a refund and just a mad scramble to change dates. We now have a booking for next year! It seemed a safer bet than booking again for a few months away. Who can tell what the right things is, in these uncertain times. Carole how are you getting on? Hopefully you do not have too long before someone in the family is home to keep you company. We have family in Spain and they are completely locked in  a little flat now. They seem ok with it though. Well how many of you have had the vulnerable person text and been told to stay in for 12 weeks? I could not believe it when I got one after all this time! Now I have all the family saying I should stay in and thinking I am more vulnerable than they thought. So now they think I am just pretending I am alright! Victor thought it was a trick and someone had sent us a fake text. Then he thought I had sent the fake text. The more I laughed the less he believed me, but it was nice to have a good laugh. I am sure you're confined to barracks Nick and quite rightly so to keep you safe.  I am glad to hear you are taking care of any contacts but so sad not to cuddle the littles. Our 2 youngest gc are in isolation which has made us al think a lot more as we all saw them (pretty certain its tonsillitis)but I did have a talk through the patio doors on mothers day when I took them shopping. Its so strange leaving shopping outside the door. I have to keep reminding myself as I booked hair and then realised how silly I was and cancelled so roots will be untouched. Victor wants me to try to cut his hair. Its tempting to be creative but then I better not as I can't escape for some time. We have quite a lot of key workers in the family but isolation puts an end to that. Baby is 7 months now and rolling around and shouting for what he wants, mainly food being a boy!  We are trying to keep him safe as he has chest trouble already and these days they don't always treat chest infections until they get much worse. Annoying. Is your hubby home Nicky? I thought you daughter would be. Lots we know are then going to work in supermarkets where there is such great demand at the moment for extra staff. I have booked several slots in case but trying to avoid being in queues as they are asking. Nicky I really feel for you having to go for bloods and then chemo. Do you have t queue up in the general blood section or are they keeping chemo folk separate. I always felt that I could sit next to someone with something dodgy exactly when I really didn't need it. I am sure they are taking a lot of extra precautions. Hope this one is kind to you and in and out as quick as possible x There is nobody else to sort mum and she is ready to throw herself under the bus again with depression from the news and lack of visitors, so I have to see her no matter what. She is completely unable to last even half a day on her own so no choice. I stopped work this week but was really unhappy as I felt I needed to be away from there much sooner, no joy though until stricter regulations came in around health. Teaching so many people by email or online is bizarre, a bit like being a switchboard operator with so many things coming in and to respond to. Victor is desperately concerned about finances as he was hoping to retire but its not a good time to cash in anything. Son is chopping trees down to distract him as he can't resist going to manage any works in the garden. So many people's weddings cancelled its so sad and baby can't be christened. When Victor shouted tonight, hurry up Boris is going to start talking, I thought this must have been what it was like in the war, waiting for the PM to speak. We don't often do politics on here but I do think he is handling all the public speaking and information giving every night really well. I find him easy to listen to and what a job to have at this time in our country! I will say no more in case I offend anyone. Well Nicky thinking of you this week, keep me posted.  Hugs all round, cyber ones are so much safer these days than the real thing love Lily xxx   ... View more

Hello buddies, how are you all getting on? I thought I might be at home after today when the schools close but apparently I am a public sector worker who can be directed to do any other things and the school can be remodelled for a different function, whatever that means. It feels a bit like being in a film during the war, especially with poor Carole having to carry paper to be allowed out. Is there a fine if you don't have the paper? I totally understand why we are all asked to do this but it doesn't sit well with what we are familiar with and our normal, or is that OLD lives? I am not really sure what I will do next week. In school it was goodbye to everyone, just like in July but it wasn't. Puzzled faces, tears, some happy. It was a bizarre day and quite sad. Carole I thought you sounded a little down, probably feeling lonely so please talk on here more often if it helps to have contact with us. My father had fibromyalgia first and then a second condition. I can remember him groaning as he tried to twist to get out of the care and sitting and then standing again. Have you thought of an electric chair to lift you and save muscles? Are you allowed to walk the dogs when you like? I think you would notice quite a change if you caught it and hopefully by isolating there is a low chance of getting it. With Spain having so much covid19 its lucky you haven't caught it on your trip. How are food supplies with you. I find it has taken over talk about the weather here! Who thought anything could ever do that? The family all alert each other to toilet roll deliveries in local shops and nappies, which are even more worryingly sparse. I have no idea why this thing with toilet rolls has happened but read some garbled piece about it relating to fear of an illness and that we relate fear to making you want to go to the toilet and to be hygienic!! Really. What a joke. I keep thinking I must buy Easter eggs before they all disappear into mist or maybe I should buy them loo roll instead!!! I do hope you are all managing ok. Lisa up North. Carole in isolation and Nicky especially you as you have to have so much medical contact. Are you seeing your grandson and family or are you trying to isolate too. Hope jobs are ok. Love Lily xx ... View more

Nicky just wanted to say belated birthday wishes. Hope you managed to do something nice to celebrate xx ... View more

Hi everyone, how are you all? Hoping to hear nobody close to you affected. I have students being sent home and self isolating every day so I feel like I am just waiting for my turn. Its unlikely my oldies would cope but I also can't leave them without food or company, so its a double edged sword really.  Nick I laughed about you finding that old post. I remember saying I felt I was going to have to bite the radiator! I loved the poo posts, really cheered me up when suffering. Are you getting the steroid suntanned red face? I always got that. Is there any chance you can gradually reduce the amount of steroids if the side effects are manageable? Do you remember they used to make me lose a lot of my eyesight for a few days. Horrible but you have to look at the big picture if it keeps you safe. How many days do you have to take them for? Everyone I know is regretting booking trips and I think I would only go last minute for the time being, if I even chanced that. We have an Easter holiday in the UK so I hope that should be ok. My birthday holiday trip is almost certainly gone. Just hoping they ban travel so I get the money back for it. We are also planning a family event as its my ruby anniversary this year (married at birth ha ha) but I am loath to actually put a deposit down anywhere. I feel for people getting married this year after all their planning and the worry about if they will be well enough. Son booked a stag do for his friend just before this broke.  Lisa had you planned trips already? I know you are usually well organised. Can I add to Nicky's concerns about any flooding in your area too. I know your company help locals in their time of need. I remember the bridge got swept away before! Carole yes hoping you avoided bugs too while in Spain, hopefully you weren't in any of the new risk areas. Any news from your tests yet? Hoping they can recommend or medicate something to alleviate symptoms and help you. Hugs buddies love Lily xxx ... View more

Hi everyone. There have been scares near us and one positive but not broken out round here quite yet, probably just time. How about everyone else? At work its rumours constantly about whether they will shut schools. Its tricky as important exams in May for some year groups but most other students would manage at home with emailed work. Maybe they will ask us to predict grades for those who are not allowed in? That used to happen in the past. Difficult to guess where this will go. I agree Italy would have been very difficult and you might have got stuck there or picked it up yourself, which you really don't need on tp of everything else. How are your other symptoms? Any more news from your tests? Spain sounds a lovely alternative. I am the same age as Mr P then. Thanks I am putting the dentist out of my head for now. Got a hospital appointment soon and a bit worried about going in there.  Lisa how are the family and friends in your area? Nicky hope you are keeping clear of nasty germs too and managing ok. Managed the pop up, then couldn't get back to my post, here at last 🙂   Take care all love Lily xx ... View more

Hi everyone love to hear all your latest news, hopefully good but share anyway in case we can help or at least be a sympathetic ear to share troubles. I haven't really been myself so I am sorry for not being here more but I have had a bad time with my teeth. One shocking moment when a tooth near the front sheered off somewhere high in the gum. That horrible sickening feeling :catsad: . I couldn't go to work like that and threw myself on the pity of the dentist. Well actually I camped in the car park from when they opened and it quickly became apparent that they could not fix it, at which point my dentist came to save me. He is a dental surgeon and convinced me he can sort it out. Next evening I had a late appointment and mini surgery to find and remove the rest which had a big abscess, hence end of tooth and probably chemo damage in there too. He got an amazing false tooth made in 6 hours, which has given me a bit of a lisp but I can at least go to work and out. Went in to work, was ridiculed by my 'boss', nearly resigned on the spot, swore a lot, everyone else amazing, I've adjusted to my lisp and glare at anyone who dares stare at me and pretty much ok now. So its £2500 for an implant plus the worst bit, having it done. Sorry to be such a baby but I am literally scared stiff. Delayed while my bones heal and infection dies off. Also got a strange lump growing on my eye so hospital for that in few weeks, not urgent but crikey didn't need another flipping thing!!!!  Sorry I'm moaning Nick when you have much more important things going on. I think it was a good plan to pay to go because nothing more important than your health. What chemo are you on and how long in the ward each time? Hopefully not one of the short or double cycles. Most of all how are you getting on with it. Will you lose your hair again? So annoying and cold at this time of year. I hope its a nice one but mostly I hope its THE one that knocks the bloody c for 6 and brings you peace and stability or better. It was reassuring that all parties agreed on your treatment so you weren't left with another difficult decision which way to go. I used to get the steroid sun tan waking with a red face, does it affect you that way. We used to wean off them over the months but I think it depends on the particular chemo as to whether this is a good thing to try. Maybe drop one day of them if side effects not too tough. I better not read that book as it sounds like I would have  job to forget what it predicts and worry. My oldies are in a similar state so I am trying to be careful but its probably out of my control in reality. I can see whole nursing homes losing all their residents if it gets into them. Hmmm interesting about the PR status, you must ask what this indicates. Is it a 2nd from the original then? The tests sound onerous. I doubly feel bad for my d word phobia. Take care out and about. Hugs Lily xx ... View more

Hi buddies, how are you? We haven't spoken since this corona virus became the main thing everyone talks about. How are you all feeling about it? I feel like when you work in a school, you are a prime target and its only time until someone passes it to me. However, I am very worried about my 2 oldies who have very impaired lung function already and don't want to have that guilt on my shoulders if they get it. I was worried about the baby but children, thankfully seem to be doing well, although our asthmatics are a bit more of a worry. After hearing they might shut schools and people go in quarantine I bought 2 big bags of toilet rolls, antibac spray and 3 bags of pasta. Not much of a plan but ha ha toilet rolls were a must !!   Nicky have you any news about the liver biopsy results? Are the … the same still? Also I wondered if you had got your Marsden appointment yet. I think they were quite quick one time and very slow a later visit so hoping people are getting on to help you make decisions. I would like to keep up to date with your latest news and thoughts on it. Being on chemo while the virus is around and visiting hospital is an extra concern for you, sadly. Hope its not on your mind too much. Lisa and Carole same with you and your oldies. Better go as still marking. Hugs Lily xx ... View more

Still can't see where to send a pm? None of the boxes I am clicking offer this function??? Must be me!! ... View more

Hi Nicky, you have a lot going on with you and around you at the moment so I hope you can make yourself be selfish and put yourself first and find time and energy to sort out number one. I read back this time before posting (really miss the ability to track back in posts while online, whoever removed that option grr). What did the latest CT show? The fact that you mentioned a change being imminent makes me think maybe not all of the … are doing what we all hope. But you often have different paths of movement from originals and news so it needs a big brain and a lot of similar secondary experience to make a change in treatments. So I agree a local hospital is unlikely to have that type of knowledge and experience, unless you are very lucky with staffing. Were you think of seeing someone at the Marsden or a hospital change where they permanently have someone of similar rank?  Moving to a bigger hospital who routinely had that level would seem a good option to me so you got that every time, rather than trips to the Marsden and waiting for referrals each time. Where would you be able to go? Our hospitals are in a chain of 3 going northwards. A friend of mine optimistically went to a local hospital north of us for convenience. I could never understand why as ours is a centre of excellence and the plastic onco is rated in the top few for all Europe. Sadly her tiny lumpectomy needed several more ops to even be acceptable and she has now transferred our way following a recurrence and a need for a big op. Its such a difficult decision to make as you try to find the best thing to do. What are your thoughts on next steps? www.drugs.com/cancer-breast-treatment is a site I came across that has a useful section putting all the drugs into categories and might be worth looking at within your research to see if there are any types of drugs/inhibitors that they have not given you yet. You have to scroll down a bit but there is quite a lot of info on which drugs are in the same categories and I know your level of expertise in looking at it. I also read up a bit about trials like Bolero2 showing the advantages of combining drugs, which I think we went through years back. That proved adding everolimus to exemestane as a joint treatment, doubled its effectiveness, for anyone meeting the right criteria.  Anyway I am here if you want to bounce any ideas. BTW has anyone worked out how to send private messages of have we lost that now? Hugs to all Lily xx ... View more

Hi ladies, we need spring and the sun to cheer us I think. Today was so cold and I was outside doing break cover so freeeezing by the time I came back in to the quad. I see warmer weather is on its way, can't be soon enough for me. Carole my dad had that too and he found it difficult to bend and do things. He had a rotater thing on the car seat to swivel round like a cake stand lol. It sounds funny but saved a lot of aches trying to turn. I think things like fish oils etc if you can stand them are supposed to help joints. Might be worth looking up some info about diet helping joints. I am sorry to hear you have this to put up with. But the trip to Italy sounds amazing and I am very jealous too. Nicky how are things with you? Hoping that things are chugging along the same. I can't think if you have told me latest results but have in my mind that some were due. Fingers crossed all going ok xx Lisa every time I think I am cold, I think you must be even colder up there brrrr. Sorry to hear about your parents' conditions must be a worry. As you say, its tricky being on the worry side too. Yes you know how I feel about the d word. I am 60 now and I can't ever complain abut getting older because as we know some dear friends did not get the chance to. Always something worse if you look around. Everybody fussed me terribly and I have just had a second surprise party. Victor went to town and managed to surprise me for the first time ever. I have some lovely gifts and as requested lots of trips out over the year with the family individually. Feb birthdays are not best for going places.  Better finish here or will never get it posted before dinner. Much love Lily xx ... View more