Ooooo! Same here Doz had to reset password!! It's all strange here not too sure yet :0 Well said I would report back on lymph massage as I have been really u comfortable and poor boob was like a rock!! She was amazing!! I had to give her full history from way back and funny thing when talking about BC I fell apart??!! Not sure why but had to go through everything and it was like a brick over the head when I reeled it off but she was lovely and I felt a nana!! The massage was so gentle due to Fibro as well so I was tense to start but relaxed as we went along, funny she said feel that and tell me if its better?? So I gingerly started to feel boob and..........it was soft!!!! I could not believe it in fact I said it was magic to which she replied no it was lympho which had settled in there and made it sore and hard . I still can't believe it mind you it is so much smaller than the normal one now but who cares it is so much better and she showed me how to do it properly myself which will be a huge help. Just wait till mr I am not happy with your lumpy boob surgeon gets a load it will be so good to say it was lymph ( he didn't say that??! ) scared the life out of me for that!! Going back for a course which she says will help as I have scarring from drain site which she thinks has adhered and that hurts when I stretch so that's next and she warned it may hurt a bit but if it all does the trick then I am up for it. I got her name from the lymph site and went private but she does referrals from GP's and the NHS so at least I know her qualifications are the real deal 🙂 Well it's been glorious here today so had day out and am pooped now but I will never complain when it's so lovely just need to make the most of these days. Janice I hope Phil is on the up now he should be home for the weekend so fingers crossed all is well. To all the wonderful flutterbys I hope things are steady for you all sending the spoons and group hug to all Emmy xxxxx
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bless you all flutterbys who are having rough days and struggling 😞 Jane my father was an alcoholic and growing up was hard for us all and for my mother who waited till we grew up to finally leave him and she got to meet a wonderful man who she was married to for 30 years and adored her which made her happy, I am so glad she got to see how a good relationship should be and it changed her into a much happier person who had the life she deserved.
Janice I so hope this turns out to be the last obstacle for you both then maybe just get to tootle gently together 🙂 ,Doz I am changing your name to 'Wonder Woman' ! How on earth you manage to fit it all in defies logic! 🙂 truly go the whole nine yards don't you? I hope your holiday is all you want and you come back rested (finally!) funny Jane reading your post on getting your mojo back and I agree specially in the head department it all settles and though its not who we were it's not too bad as we adapt and leave some rubbish behind that would have bothered us previously and I find I now shrug and move on, I still care deeply for some people but find I have no patience for fools any more. I think we now have different priorities and our needs are much more realistic .
We went on a coach trip to Bath which was enjoyable as we had never been there before so it was a lovely and educational day out. I have just made an app with a specialist lymph masseur who thankfully lives not too far from us I got her name from the lymph site and she sounds like she really knows her stufI,I start with a two hour consult which I hope will help as my arm isn't too bad but the armpit and side of boob has really kicked off due to the heat and feels like I have a golf ball under there and is quite painful so I hope that this will do the trick as I am fed up with feeling so sore by days end which is wearing! I will report back and let you know how it goes. I have checked and she is qualified up to her eyeballs along with some amazing reviews so I hope it does do the trick. Sad really had to go private as the only other place I could get help is an hour and halfs drive away then treatment and same back I would not cope with all that so fingers crossed it works!
Right it's late and we have sons dog staying for a couple of days due to work pattern and I need to walk her into garden with torch then bed its been a long one,take care flutterbys watch those spoons so sending extra for those in need along with love and group hug Em xxxxx
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Jane you really made me smile fiasco 🙂 just hope the peeps you are having for BBQ don't get stuck in your teeth!! 🙂 sorry couldn't resist or come to that Anne NO KNICKERS? NO T- SHIRT? good grief girl are you plodding around in the nude??? So sorry but am in great mood had fabulous country show on locally and managed to last 3 hours which for me is amazing!! It has been a lovely day all round went to son and DIL and ended up in hysterics as they were putting together their new bed, it's one with a gizmo for a tv then we all went out for a meal so I am flying at the mo 🙂
Janice I am so happy for you that Phil is home love you I bet you are being a bit of a mother hen with him!! I know I was the same when hubby came home after his do it made me understand the helplessness he must have felt so I appreciate the time we have now it doesn't mean he is a saint ( maybe he is for putting up with me?) but it is somehow much more special. I am betting you spend lots of time looking out to sea!!! I love the sea funny we live slap bang in the middle of the country and its lovely but there is something about the sea that is good for your soul.
Welcome to our new flutterbys I have found this thread full of support,humour and love from amazing women who are at different points in the journey to a new person dealing with all sorts of good and bad but always ready with the hand, spoons and just downright fabulous! I have been so grateful from day one to find Doz when I was crawling back from the precipice it was the start of new friends and having a forum to bounce off which has been the foundation of a journey to a new me 🙂
forgive me if I don't list you all but I am so pleased to meet more flutterbys and am sending you spoons, love and a big group hug Emm xxxxx
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Good morning flutterbys phew!! A veritable flitter of flutterbys!! I do remember a discussion on what to call a gathering of flutterbys and as there are so many now I thought I would use it as there are so many more of us 🙂
Well coming to the conclusion that the are so many ways of using coping stratagies that it can be confusing so I think what works best for any person is great! I have had the meds side of things checked out and it is definitely the right diagnoses I have Fibro but may have had it for years as I had some of the symptoms before BC but didn't see it as there was a lot going on at the time and seems BC has finally sent it into overdrive!! i had scan,then yesterday had endoscopy so far no stones or ulcers so they are now talking colonoscopy BLIMEY are there any more oscopies out there left??? 🙂 going to ask for a rest as they are leaning towards this being part of the symptoms of Fibro (IBS) and again I think it's right as I was diagnosed in 2005 after colonoscopy at the time and it all came flooding back yesterday,I remembered the specialist waking me and saying sorry we had to anesthetise you as your bowel went into a huge spasm and we could not get our camera back!!! How very embarrassing is that?? Even worse I replied being a scouser I tend to hang on to expensive equipment :0 it was the effects of the drugs honest 🙂 it just fell out of my mouth so maybe not finding my vein yesterday wasn't such a bad one heaven knows what would have tumbled out 🙂
Well done Jane for clear results so glad for you and Janice so hope Phil is home soon so you can spoil him 🙂 Doz what are you like? I could imagine the scene you outside in your lounger priceless!!! It made me smile!
Right got food shopping (oh joy) and wanted to say I am back flutterbys I just needed the down time to get my head round it all and actually it's not the disaster it once may have been!! I have missed being here with you all and so many thanks for some of your pm's they helped me through so this Flutterby is still a job in progress!! I cope by seeing that funny around the corner it works for me 🙂 take care all in the words of Arnie ( I will be back ) 😉 spoons for those that need it,and of course something I have so missed a big group hug. Emm xxxxxx
Anne t-shirt and knickers? My kind of girl 🙂
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Hi flutterbys, just a quick one as I wanted to let Janice know the hand is there to hold her up for the coming few days xxxx
I am just in the process of sorting some things out as I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia along with osteo arthritis which has knocked me for a loop! I honestly kept thinking it was s/e from treatment so sort of put up with the 'tired' thinking why is everyone else moving along whilst I appear to be stuck? I now have my answer and am trying to get my head around it. Still have some more tests to go but had official diagnoses and now waiting to see if I have an ulcer 😞 not at my best just now so will post further when I know what it all means for me long term.
Have had a quick read through so many posts to get through and my concentration levels aren't great so will say hi and hope everyone is enjoying this weather! Spoons,love and group hug Em xxxxxx
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O.k it's 9.45 am and I am still in PJ's! ahh but sat with a happy smile as I got my both results in one letter ....... CLEAR! Whoopie for another year! Just get these other tests sorted and hopefully tum as it has been an ongoing saga since chemo, at least I wasn't fobbed off this time with its my IBS which was medically diagnosed along with wheat intolerance some 15 years ago. It made me feel like I was paranoid but new GP is wonderful and being female just feels a bit more reassuring, I have had some wonderful male docs but somehow you need to feel that you aren't being silly and she didn't.
Jane I am sure this is far more than your legacy it's part of yourself! How proud are you? Well done and I am sure it will be well used and appreciated. Love the window it is so calming I just adore stained glass windows and have spent many a day looking around churches It is soothing.
Janice I hope you get your bedroom sorted funny how we all seem to have sorted rooms out? We did and spare room ? I suppose its that fresh start to our new us!
Well can't sit here grinning all day have to sort out our clothes etc I know it's overnight but we don't go out evenings much these days so really going to enjoy!! Thank you all for being there and birthday wishes which is so much appreciated I LOVE BEING A FLUTTERBY!!! I don't know how I would have got through without you! Doz you certainly started something here!
Spoons aplenty, big group hug Em xxxxxxx
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Hi flutterbys not posted as I am STILL waiting for results!!??? two weeks Tuesday for mammo and three weeks for bone scan, so going on the 'if there is something they would contact me pronto!', or else go completely mental! Have had a couple of other issues to deal with and going for tests but fingers crossed they should show I need either anti b's or op possible gallstones or ulcer? I am not going to think about it and lovely GP has arranged to start after my 60th birthday for which I have been spoilt rotten already! Going to see Hugh Laurie at symphony hall this coming Tuesday and staying overnight in Birmngham so look out shops here I come!! :))
eJane thank you for the melatonin advice was thinking of looking at getting some so phew! Nicely timed!
Jane flower you sound ****ed off!! Reading your post rightly so!! I would be the same too we are allowed to get mad sometimes for heavens sake woman sending you a flutterby hug xxx
Doz I am now picking myself up and dusting myself off and after these blasted tests are over I am so going to have a few glasses of something!!! I don't drink as a rule with the zoppies but I am slowly weaning myself off them and will treat myself (sad social drinker) that I am!!! Gave up on the Baileys as it made me sick so will make up for it somewhere along the way 😉 I agree with the biting you on the bum thing, I could not feel when they did under my arm for the mammo as it is still numb there so I think they were a bit close and upset the lympho as the arm and side of poor boob has swollen up and no amount of sleeves,bullet proof vest wearing has settled it so looking like a trip to lympho nurse!! Bitten and fed up with it at the mo!!!
Janice so glad that Phil has finished chemo just a case of head down and on to the next thing! I am sending the hand,for when the time comes, so glad you managed to get a little spoiling you deserve your me time!
Anne sad is normal you are still grieving the old you and are also allowed to be sad sometimes just try to remember post, post, post ! We are all here and have been there too, Helen you are so right we all still have our days where it all rolls over you again it almost a realisation of everything and we try to deal with it in one go but it not everyone understands that, it's that if you haven't got it you don't get it thing again!
Well what a rotten day we have had today all this rain!!! I know the garden needs it but not all at once!! Never mind tomorrow is another day and who knows summer might just be around the corner (she says hopefully!) I think we all need that bright thing in the sky to give us a lift!
Flutter gently and be kind to yourselves sending spoons aplenty and a big group hug Em xxxxxx
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Hi Anne, I had to reply to your post cos it was all of us at one time or another! I ended up having to see my GP who put me on anti d's and yes it does change you! I struggled through treatments at the time (finished Herceptin April last year) being told there are no side effects from that but then one of the lovely chemo nurses just mentioned moods about something and I went off like a rocket, crying so hard they closed the curtains round me!! I was then taken off to a room with the BCN who asked how long I had been feeling like this? Yes so negative,tired and really unhappy it was when I was trying to explain that it felt like someone had stolen the colours out of my days (every day felt grey) that she advised I see GP for help and it was the best thing I could have done. I had coped throughout 19 months of treatment just determined to get to the next thing when it all hit me like a train!! I realised that it had been happening so slowly I hadn't realised how negative I had become, but it is no wonder when you think of everything not exactly a journey of choice nor pleasant (I have a needle phobia then get told H is delivered by three weekly drips!) but I put on the brave face whilst slowly falling apart! Seem familiar? See your GP and ask for some counselling. As for hubby and daughter they too have been on this journey of fear and I greatly believe they found it frightening too, my OH became ill during my Rads and I realised how scary it is to watch someone you love go through this as they cannot do anything and our instinct with loved ones is to try to do something! Instead it is down to your docs and nurses so they feel helpless. They are probably feeling relieved now (it's over) but for you the reality is kicking in. Go get some help flower it will get better and though you may never be the same person you once were you can be happy again.
Funny thing Jane you saying about your daughter, I think looking at what gems came out of our journeys is not a bad thing to find for ourselves and there is always a gem if not a handful!? I now know who 'real' family and friends are and found the flutterbys who have been 'my little corner' I say with all honesty that it is a good thing to see the gems and bless ya you found yours. What about a corner on these posts for the nice things? we share our ups and downs so maybe our gem be it one or many would be a good. I am going to Birmingham on my 60th birthday courtesy of my lovely son and DIL to see Hugh Laurie at the symphony hall and staying overnight in a posh hotel! ( if they don't chuck me out!) with OH and hopefully doing some shopping 🙂 of course! I love jazz along with lots of genres of music but also have a secret crush on Mr Laurie from watching House! So I am quite excited !
Got one more app with GP for bloods then tooth out at dentist Monday so this will be behind me by then so may even have a glass of wine or two!
For all our flutterbys going through any deep doo,doo right now the hand is on it's way along with some spoons,love and of course group hug Em xxxxxx
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Just a quick line to reassure you Anne, I have bone scans very two years as I am on Arimidex which can thin the bones so am checked to ensure I don't need additional calcium. I just got wound up as all my apps came together so have them all in two weeks! 😞 one of them at a time gets me on the old worry wagon but I also have quite bad arthritis and have apps for that, I have gone from a very active working full time woman to almost an old lady who shuffles on bad days 🙂 I do have good days and enjoy them as long as I don't do too much otherwise I am flat out for a few days which is really frustrating!!!! I have never been one to sit around but am slowly learning that life is just as good if I pace myself and if it's a bad day then it's not the end of the world!
Helen I am afraid I too had the talk! Ask if you need extra help, tell us if its too much then after a few weeks I got by the way we have changed your job and here is a new job description along with a new contract to sign so you only get paid for the hours you do (they were doing that anyway!) so I had a word with my union who were fab but eventually it all got too much and I had to leave or make myself ill or kill someone so guess what I did? Our lovely ami was telling me to rest as I was still on Herceptin and incredibly tired all the time so looked a total nana when I finally burst into tears in work and that's when I decided enough was enough the support was none existant though they said all the right things they were not prepared to give me the extra time I needed to do things and I was made to feel an idiot with my chemo brain as I could ask something walk a few steps and have to ask again!! I still have a struggle with words I am famous with OH for describing the things I mean!! I said we had spiky things in the garden and yes meant nettles 🙂 bless he is used to my charades now but has never made me feel as inadequate as they did in work so less money but I feel much better doing things at my own pace on my terms! Have you got a union? They are good but can't change attitudes just make them aware of the law which is quite sad as having read that more of us will have cancer with time I think all employers need to get their acts together!
Janice how are things with Phil? Or do I mean grumpy? I am glad you are getting some me time at Maggies you so deserve something nice!! 🙂 and I am sure grumpy will be back to himself before much longer and you have gained some space for yourself from this stressful time. Do you know when the op is yet? Let us know and you can have the hands back!!
Jane I hope you feel as rested as I did whilst on holiday sadly I feel like it was ages ago already but hopefully when all the rubbish is over I will feel better,specially with some more of that bright thing in the sky! I did feel for you over your daughter it feels like you are happy for her but going to miss the wonderful support she obviously has been to you, it isn't too far and what a wonderful excuse to get away for weekends!! Hand holding for you too methinks!
Doz my flower it WILL come right for you once you get some me time which won't be long now , Wimbledon know you are on your way?? I do hope that Dan's legal stuff gets sorted and Vik gets to do something she really wants whatever that is and gets better for your trip!! 🙂 Another hand on its way oops! Goodness Janice you are right but they are magical flutterby hands like the spoons some extra when you need them!
To all our beautiful flutterbys I have missed I hope you all have a wonderful,sunny weekend and flutter kindly,gently and sending the usual spoons,love and group hug Emmy xxxxx errrr!! Not quite the quickie I started out to do 🙂
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I am smiling at the neighbour thing! one of mine works at my GP surgery and has been brilliant we live on a farm (we aren't the farm just converted buildings) but even the farmer came to say that if I had problems getting to hospital for my chemo during all that terrible snow he would take me in his tractor!! It's miles away!!! 🙂 I now just get on with things and if needs be say the 'C' word and if it makes someone uncomfortable then I am sorry I don't set out to offend or scare anyone but as you say it is part of my life now but it is NOT my life!!! Like sharing a bit of family history or talking about previous jobs I may have had, it is what makes me the person I am and for that I refuse to apologise!
I am sure people don't realise how easily they can hurt you but I think we are a sensitive to much more and that too is part of our new package! I even had a 'friend' who is a social worker say I do hope your prognosis is good? I did tell her it was better than hers because I know what I have so asked when she last had a check I don't get any pleasure from upsetting people I am quite a softy but strangely am learning to be a lot more assertive in my dealings with people though can come home and cry (often!) but it's that face we put on and that can be wearing! Have a look at the thread 'Where did I go??? It sort of explains the ups and downs and the change we are all going through! Suffice to say I am proud to be a flutterby which is what we call ourselves!
So head up girl realise that some can, some can't deal with it all but like the illness the are no right or wrong ways to react its how people are "Nowt as strange as!", you may also have changed but be proud of the fact you have got to this stage and don't let it get to you! Another hug for good measure! Emm xx
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Hi just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel! How much information is too much? My OH put it beautifully he called it the modern day leprosy after having a similar reaction so now I just say it and you now what? People will lose out on a very empathic person who will listen to things and be much more sympathetic than most after the journey we have had, we also know much more than we did before I know I wouldn't have known the right things to say but didn't make an issue of it when a colleague was diagnosed with a different cancer and lost her hair I found myself admiring her wonderful collection of hats and just being normal, whatever that is she was the only person who has had the nerve to ask me things and listened. I have found wonderful friends on here and though I now have a very limited social life it is with people who I feel comfortable with and aren't afraid of the word cancer! I have found those who don't run are the ones worth knowing so no you didn't do anything wrong but maybe she was scared either from ignorance or experience it is hard to know so don't feel guilty just don't doubt yourself I know how, hard that is but even family have difficulties coping so we are all just doing our best. We didn't ask for this and I certainly think it is definitely her loss 🙂 sad to say some people aren't good with any kind of illness my poor mother was one of those it was never intentional she was so,scared of the word itself! Strangely she passed away the Christmas before and I am sure she would have run a mile from me and that would have been quite sad so things do happen for a reason though some I still struggle with! Just get yourself out there we are still here and not going anywhere to make people feel comfortable so I guess they will have to get used to it! Good luck with your business and don't forget those worth knowing will be out there and if you don't try you will never know, sending a hug for courage!! Emm xx
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Hi flutterbys! I wasn't going to post for a while as I have issues to deal with then on reading tonight realised we are all feeling a bit fragile! I had a lovely two weeks in Cornwall with a bit of a mixed bag weather wise but we managed to get out most days and even had a couple of glorious days which were much appreciated (roll on proper summer!) this holiday was to set me up for all the tests I have come home to, yesterday went for bone scan only to be asked to do another so there goes the mind again!? 😞 the woman who did my scan with assistant and I got chatting about the joys of Arimidex which actually helped as she had her dx Jan last year but looked amazing? Then told me how rubbish she feels some days Phew! So not just me! The dreaded mammo on Mon then review with GP on Thursday to include even more dreaded blood test, when are our veins better anyone know? They take it from my foot which ends in tears such a wuss I am! Then to top it all tooth to be removed on 10th June so I am feeling a bit wobbly! Sorry I didn't want to sound like a moan but why oh why does it all come at once?
Reading the bit on flushes made me smile as poor hubby gets disturbed by my 'covers on', 'covers off' routine! So now we agree when he is really tired he sneaks off to the spare room!! 🙂 I also find that it gets worse in shops I look like a beetroot!! The times I have caught sight of myself and thought I look like I am sun burned!
Well enough of my moans! I see we have new flutterbys and I want to say welcome and say its wonderful how this group is growing! Doz you really started something there! 🙂 Being gentle with yourselves is a real byword here and you will have good days ,bad days but always remember posting on here really helps!
sending spoons (Jane sounds like you need some extra!) much love and a big group hug Emmy xxxxxx
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Ramble away !! We all do it on here it's excellent therapy! Well getting ready for Cornwall leaving Friday but don't know if it's ready for me! We were lucky and got a refund from the nightmare in Wales so it has paid for this one and it is on a farm two miles away from St Agnes so close enough to get to the sea!! Don't know about you Jane but its what to pack??? So gone for lots of jeans,trousers and tops which can be covered with nice thick jumpers and the compulsary cardi!! Coming back to mammo,bone scan and camera down throat OH DEEP JOY! Looks like I have an ulcer or gall stones (had ulcer before) so going to make the most of it!!
Janice I don't envy you the travel we don't live on the hospital doorstep either and rads was a two hour drive so you have my total sympathy!! I am sending you spoons to hold you up and of course the hand to hold 🙂 I am happy doing that till you are ready to let go. As for the rest of you I will be in touch as the cottage this time has wifi so I will regale you with the days doings like going to the Eden project, the gallery at st Ives and going to look for the chocolate place yum,yum,yum!!!!
Take care flutterbys as ever spoons, love and group hug Emmy xxxxx
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Poor you Doz you really do attract the nutters!! As for the boys in blue strange you saying that had an old colleague tells me (she lived in the sticks) that her neighbour was away and she heard noises coming from their house just over the road from her so went to peek through the windows to see a burglary actually in progress so pretty sharpish she rang the 'boys' only to be told can you keep an eye on them and ring back if they look as though they will try your house???? She is a Yorkshire lass who does not suffer fools so asked if they were serious?? Seems so at this point she put down her phone and rang back saying I think one of the men has a gun!! Do you know within minutes there were three cars and a helicopter!! They were not happy to find that the said 'gun' was in fact something they were using to jimmy the doors but as she pointed out she was alone with a small child and in the dark it looked like a gun 😉 needless to say they were arrested and her neighbour very grateful but what a way to have to get someone to not only listen but send someone specially as the burglary was happening right in front of her!!! She did come to fear going home in the end ,poor woman was in bits at the thought of the creeps coming back so much so she decided for both her and her son's safety she was better living in a bigger place which broke her heart but better safe than as they say!!!
I hope your shifts have been kind to you lovely and as for charity shops!!!! Love them DD just bought some Karen Millen trousers for £4 she was thrilled as no way she could afford the prices new! I do love to poke about when away as well I always come home with more than I went away with! 🙂 So glad you found the dress you were looking for Jane mind you I reckon it found you!
Janice I am hoping Phil is coping a little better bless him and you get the support you need, like Doz I have come to the conclusion that I am just not doing it for myself no matter how hard I try so will give the Haven a ring when I get back from Cornwall, going with son and DIL with their hound and looking forward to being by the sea which I love!!! It's gone all quiet so I am hoping that it's 'cos everyone is busy and getting on 🙂 take care flutter gently sending love and a group hug Emmy xxxxx
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Hi flutterbys just flying in to send Janice the hand and to say to Jane I think maybe this is your body's way of saying can I have a proper rest please? The tired thing seems to be quite common but it doesn't do us any favours does it? Sending spoons, the hand and group hug all round Emmy xxxxx
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Hi Anne, such a confusing place to be! There are some of us that joined along the way and everything is just as relevant whether it is the start,halfway through or somewhere towards wherever the heck we are!! I remember when I went back to work and wanted to shout at someone moaning about what I saw as trivial but had to remind myself that it was their normal as I didn't have a normal any more!! The sadness I think is part of the grieving process because you have lost something of who you once were and that will never be the same again, I felt so out of it like living a parallel sort of life whilst people around me were getting on with 'normal' whatever that is! It takes time and a knowledge that we are changed forever by what we have gone through but it's not all bad scary as it seems there is a kind of change we go through which is our normal after all the world just kept on churning whilst we changed. Not a choice any one of us would have made, not brave, not heroes but human beings who had to face our own mortality in a horrible way no matter how much support we have it is a lonely journey and this is the bit where we start to learn how to be with people again, not easy and this is where the time comes in.
I still have my days where I feel on the edge of things and I feel like I don't belong but those moments are less with time o.k maybe I will never be the same but everyone around us is just being who they are and I found that hard but am slowly but surely understanding that unless you 'know' you 'don't know' if that makes sense? As for your job only you will know what is right for you ,I sort of woke up one day and knew I didn't want to do this job (with children being fostered) I could barely cope with me never mind their problems again not their fault but I needed to be able to go home and not think about the pain they were going through, I felt huge guilt about it but a wonderful psychiatrist told me they will step over you and move on to the next person who can help them (she was there for someone but we chatted) so I made my decision based on that with the love and support of the wonderful flutterbys. Give yourself a break, you have been through so much and,really think about what you want to feel when you go home if it makes you feel ill then it's time to have a good old rethink. I don't envy you because this is the hardest bit and you will need to live with your decision so I am sending you the hand to hold you till the time comes to let go.
take care and I am sure the flutterbys will be here for you throughout whatever you decide hugs Emmy xxxxx
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He loved her so much and she did know that , they will now be together and he can once again be her warrior as he told me it was her pet name for him. Bless them both together forever as they wanted god bless them both xxxx
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amd this could have been all of us back then! If you read through you will find our ups and downs along this old bumpy road of finding a new us. Yes to the intolerance,yes to the tiredness and yes it takes time 😞 but then ............... Doz started this thread and we became the flutterbys not sure who we are going to be eventually with time it does start to,settle but at a rate that fits you as we are all so different. You have come to the right place to be yourself, we have all grinned, smiled and in our heads committed many murders!! The girls here will hold your hand (virtually) even hold you up when it gets rough, it's a place to vent, share the good along with the bad and no right/wrong way to do it we all muddle through knowing we at least have amazing women who know just what we mean!! I am sure they will be along with words of support which has helped me so many times and just keep posting cos someone will always reply and just the sheer act of putting your feelings down help so much so keep on posting and don't ever be afraid to share with any of the flutterbys. Read back on the spoon theory sorry don't know how to put it on here but it tells the way we deal with things and helps explain to others when they don't get it, hence you will see us sending spoons to one another with the hand to hold which is such a life saver. I am glad you posted here this is your start finding out who you are now 🙂 take care newling flutterby and welcome sending you a hug Emmy xxxxx
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