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Emperortooco
Member
since
01-05-2012
54
Posts
5
Hugs
01-10-2020
10:37
3 Hugs
Another year has passed since I lost her almost 6 years to the hour ! Must admit it doesn’t get any easier I don,t care what anyone says just somewhat bearable. I come on here often to see how people are getting on and yes sadly a few have succumbed to this awful disease but there are still a lot of familiar names on here. I wish you all well and stay extra safe during this turbulent time x
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30-09-2018
08:07
Hi ladies; It’s almost 4 years to the day that I said goodbye to my amazing mum as her brave battle with this vile disease came to an end. I miss her just as much now as I did then and she will always be so close to me in my heart. I,ve been on the forum since then from time to time and sadly I,ve seen some other familiar names also gain their wings. To me every month is vitally important to create awareness of this disease however October is officially the month to make both females and males aware that this disease doesn’t care about who it strikes and when, so I will wear my pink ribbon with pride and display my pink ribbon tattoo on my wrist in honour of all of those who have fought and are fighting to be rid of cancer #f*ckcancer
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03-12-2015
10:48
Hi Steph, I too lost my mum in October 2014 to this vile disease. Like you I,ve been through a whole host of feelings and grief turned into severe depression. I,m getting help now which is a move in the right direction but she is on my mind from the second I wake up until I go to sleep. My mum left it too late to tell anyone about her breast lump and when she showed me it had come through her skin so no suprise that she was diagnosed with secondaries to the bones at the same time. She battled hard for 5 years and I took the last couple of months of her life off work as we knew we were running out of time and left my husband to his own devices and moved in with her to care for her until the end. I have her ashes in the house with me as I don,t feel able to part with them yet and like you I have those thoughts of what if but sadly it won,t bring her back. It,s still early days yet so don,t beat yourself up about it. You sound as though you have been an amazing daughter to her and she will always be in your heart just like my beautiful mum is in my heart xxxx
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24-10-2015
10:57
Have been on this forum for 5 - 6 years now. I,ve found it to be invaluable and a great source of inspiration and support. I didn't come on here for me it was in fact my beautiful mum who battled so bravely for 5 years with BC before losing her battle this time last year. I,ve known I,ve had a problem for a while, incidentally my mum left it too late and secondaries were diagnosed shortly after her initial consultation and I,m now at the stage where I can face up to it and deal with whatever the outcome. The thing is that I don,t know how I feel about this. I can see my hubbie is worried and those close to me that I have chosen to confide in but I don,t feel any emotion. My OH says it,s down to the loss of my mum and yes he,s probably right as I have taken it really badly but at the same time I don,t feel like I can pour out my inner emotions to him and let him know just how empty I feel inside. I,m on anti depressants now which too be fair have took the edge off my low mood, but wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation ? I,m at the breast clinic on Tuesday morning .
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07-06-2015
04:27
Dear Bev, you were such a source of great support when I brought my mum home for her last few weeks back in September and I will never forget that. I always look for your posts and am sad to hear that you are going through a difficult time. Sending you much love and hugs xx
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30-01-2015
05:50
After my mum,s initial diagnosis a secondary diagnosis quickly followed but I had 5 amazing years with her where we made the most of every moment. It is a roller coaster ride and at times I didn,t think I would cope but somehow you do. Things took a really bad turn at the end of August and we got the news that she was running out of time. I took the time off work who I must say we're brilliant and nursed her over her final 5 weeks, hardest thing I,ve ever done but wouldn't swap that precious time for the world. Sorry I,m rambling but really all I can say is take each moment as it comes and just love her as she loves you xx
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18-01-2015
08:53
Lost my mum in October, miss her so much it hurts and now I,m going through the same journey as she did, not sure where this journey will take me but determined to fight, fight, fight
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13-01-2015
07:43
A truly inspirational lady full of grit and determination, will be sadly missed xx
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05-11-2014
11:12
Bev, just felt as though I had to reply to your news. Your words to me following my thread on end of life following the very recent loss of my beautiful mother truly touched my heart. I just want you to know that I,m thinking of you and as so many have said this will not be your last xmas, there are many options still available to you and by the sound of it there is much love for you on here, big hugs to you xxxx
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11-10-2014
10:40
My mum,s funeral was on Thursday and as she wasn,t religious we held a humanist funeral which was beautiful. It was a celebration of her life with 3 of her favourite songs played too. It,s been very strange for me since she passed as I couldn,t remember anything about her the memories wouldn't,t come but since the funeral they have flooded back and I believe that I was either in shock or denial. Life will never be the same for me but I do know that she would have wanted me to move on and be happy ( she told me often enough over the past 6 weeks or so) so although I,m not reDy to move on I am trying to put a smile on my face for her. She used to say I was her " eyes and ears" well she was " the wind beneath my wings" will love her forever. Well that's it from me and as the title of my post says it has been very emotional. I hope that all of you on here will keep on fighting the fight and one day perhaps we will get rid of this cruel disease but until then my heart and thoughts will be with you all. It,s been.a privilege for me to hear everyone's stories on these forums but time for me to take my leave. Xxxx
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02-10-2014
11:40
My mum sadly lost her battle with this cruel disease just after midnight. She battled right until the end and her courage, stamina and zest for life wS truly remarkable. I was with her holding her hand until the end and she went so peacefully after enduring such pain. I ve got a huge hole in my heart now and a massive void in my life that never can be filled but I guess what is keeping me sane at the moment is the look on her face as she passed serene, calm and just beautiful. Thank you ladies for your support on here and my love goes out to you all.xxx
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25-09-2014
04:29
Hi, wanted to update you on my mum,s condition. It is now looking as though we have only a very short time left now as she is drifting now and feel as though the next 24 - 48 hours will tell it,s own story. I,ve felt so privileged and honoured to have looked after my mum over the past 4 weeks or so since she came out of hospital and it,s been very humbling. I,ve seen good, not so good and shared some beautiful moments with her and these I will treasure and take them forward as I try to cope with the gaping hole that her passing will leave in my heart and my life. Thank you all for your kind comments and my thoughts are with you all xxx
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08-09-2014
06:16
Just thought I would update everyone, delighted to say that she has battled on and made it to her 95th birthday (today), we,ve just celebrated with a few teaspoons of baby cottage pie as it,s puréed and easy to digest and the cream part of a pannacotta. She continues to amaze me with this inner strength that she keeps on finding especially at her grand age x
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03-09-2014
07:20
Mum,s first couple of days at home were brilliant. I,m still of the opinion that she waited to be at home and see loved ones before she finally let go and it does seem that way as even the district nurses have passed comment at just how quickly she is failing. Breaks my heart but finally after all this time of suffering her pain is under control in the main. She has started to sleep a lot more now and when she does wake has been teary a couple of times which I hate to see. She said that she is not frightened to go as she wants to be out of pain but what she did say was that her only regret is that she would miss us all, which cracked me up. She really is an awe inspiring lady who I know will always be with me even though I won,t be able to kiss her head as I always do.
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28-08-2014
10:42
Home at last!!!!!!! She is tucked up in bed fast asleep snoring! Couldn,t think of a more comforting sound at this moment lol
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27-08-2014
10:04
Thankyou everyone for your kind words. Had a lovely last night at the hospital tonight with lots of nurses coming in to wish my mum well. Best one was the end of life specialist who said that it was a privilege to have met someone who was born in 1919 and had experienced so much change in their life. Thankyou Mel Mcevoy my mother felt so special
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27-08-2014
04:54
Well the bad news is that she is still in hospital however good news is tomorrow is a definate! We are having issues with her pain control as she has a very low tolerance to,opiates. She,s on a combination of patches, pills and a syringe driver just hope because of the pain not being totally under control her home coming isn,t an anti climax, fingers crossed
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26-08-2014
11:20
Hi Julie, Unfortunatley the homecoming hasn,t happened, delays with carers apparently . Looking more like Thursday now. The hospital have put it down to the bank holiday but either way my mam,s disappointment is upsetting to see xx
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25-08-2014
10:05
Thank you Julie for your kind words. She has definatley rallied round as she knows that she is coming home tomorrow. I am just so in awe of the dignified, courageous attitude that she has had throughout her journey with breast cancer. She is truly an inspiration and I,m so proud that she is my mum.xx
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23-08-2014
09:28
Thankyou all for your comments. She is still incredibly calm although seems to have deteriorated since yesterday. I,m just praying that she holds on until Tuesday as I know she doesn,t want her final days to be spent in a hospital side room
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