Breast Cancer Now Forum

It would be amiss of me not to post my heartbreak at Lulus' passing on the forum. in 2011 when I was diagnosed I found the forum and found Lulu. Whilst I dont come back here very often, I felt the need to pop in and take a look around.  Maybe Lulu is reminding me I took from the forum in my time of distress, so I need to remember to give back. She always gave back.   The woman was a Legend. We belong to Calender Girls breast cancer support group and boy did we have some laughs and tears. She has helped so many of us through the worse days even when she herself was struggling with her own demons, but she never ever complained.  We did a photoshoot together in Birmingham with the calender girls and as usual, Lulu got up to her antics and took some great pics, Im so glad we arranged it as I will always have that to treasure. It will be hard for the next meet up knowing she will never be there again.   This morning I wanted to ask a question about tamoxifen and periods and the very first person I thought of  (as always) was Lulu.....now who?  She leaves a huge void not just for me, but for many. The selfish part of me is angry at her that she didnt win this 3rd battle because Lulu always wins...always.  But the loving part of me is so very glad she cannot and will not suffer anymore.   I repeat....... a Legend.   God Bless you Lulu.   xxx     ... View more

Good evening ladies I just wanted to chime in and say that I was just the same - 20 months ago when I was Dx'ed. Its like every litte ache or pain is magnified 1000 times and you begin to believe that cancer is invading every limb, every vessel, every bone, every organ. Even bits of your body you have never ever felt before begin to start calling to you. I was totally convinced I had mets to the point I had to ask my onc to scan me as I was losing my flippin mind - which he did and I was clear but during the Waiting room time I was planning my funeral, thinking about my care, heck I even looked into which hospice I would go to as I had convinced myself I was a goner and resigned to the rest of my time on earth on being on chemo or fighting for my life. Anyway - I went onto chemo, an Mx then rads and now on Tamoxifen. In recent months the demons came back again and all the aches and pains started up - same ole feelings, lacking sleep, feeling so so tired (but thats because of the lack of sleep) feeling odd aches and pains and yet again I believed it was back in every limb, every vessel, every.......you get the picture. Back to my onc I went and again he listened to my plight and scanned me (CT scan an bone scan), got the results just Wednesday. All clear (THANK GOD). Again I sigh a huge relief and close the door but I know that at some stage in the future I will open it again and some random ache will send me doolally again....its the nature of the beast....but its the beast within my mind im fighting - your mind is a powerful tool - its can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You start to convince yourself you have pains you dont have. Its amazing as once I get an all clear - the pain just goes in an instant - thats how I know its my damn mind. Just know that none of you are going mad - most of us on this forum who have had a positive Dx of BC will have gone down the same paranoid path you are currently walking down - how you are feeling is perfectly normal. But the fear will subside and you will begin to live again. At times the fear returns, something minor can set it off, and at other times you will have noticed you just get on with living and "cancer" will no longer be the first thing you think of when you open your eyes in the morning or close them at night. It has its peaks and troughs and we just learn to accept them as part of our "new" normal. In a couple of years from now you will all probably like me pop in to see how everyone is doing and you will meet a lady going through the same fears as you are right now and you will be one of many who will think to themselves "there but for the grace of God go I" and be one of many who will try to lift them back up again. Keep your chins up - truly.......it will get better. Im living proof. God Bless ... View more

I was literally just reading a thread where Laurie was very supportive of a lady who had been dx'ed with liver mets. RIP Laurie, gone way too soon. Rest in Perfect Peace God Bless you ... View more

just sending you some cyber ((((HUGS)))) Cath. The waiting room is a horrid place isnt it but rest assured once you know what you are dealing with and any advised treatment plan starts you will be in a better place mentally. ... View more

Hi Tinger sorry to hear you arent feeling to bright at the moment. Let your Oncologist advise you as whether to delay the start of your Tax. I know when i was going through chemo I do recall a couple of people delaying as they felt awful. In any case your chemo would be delayed automatically by a few days if your neuts were low so its not unheard of. I also had FEC x 4 and Tax x 4. Just 9 weeks left Tinger....focus on that end date - it will soon be here. Its such a great feeling when the last chemo is done and dusted. Lisa ... View more

Hi Ladies, Just popping in to say hello. I have been right where you are now. I started chemo on 9th Nov last year, at that point, after diagnosis, I thought my life was over, went into the deepest despair I have ever ever been in, was so sure I wouldnt see another birthday. But here I am, 12 months later, chemo done with, hair growing back with avengence, mastectomy done and dusted, and radiotherapy over. I have started to claim back my life......and this will be you in 12 months from now. There is some great great advice on here, make sure you read through as much relevant info as possible, but also take a break now and again so the whole shituation doesnt take over your life. In 12 months from now, you will be me, giving advice to a group of ladies who are newly diagnosed, giving them the wisdom of your eperience, and I will be me, 24 months out, life back to a new normal. God go with all of you, its a bumpy ride, but you will ALL be OK. ... View more

Hi Mandy We can all say we know exactly how you feel, its a very dark place to be, but there is light at the end, I know you cant see it now, but its there - you just gotta go through the tunnel. I was Dx'ed back last September, my whole world ripped to shreds in a instant, my mind took me to places I didnt ever hope to visit before my golden years, but I had to deal with it, and I came through, just like you will. Every horrid thought you have, I had. Every tear you cry, I cried, every bit of anger you feel, I felt, every bit of fear you endure, I endured. Each day, as you go through your treatments, you start to feel the mist of fear leave you, yes it hovers overhead but you find ways of pushing it to one side and get on with you life becuase you have to recognise having cancer IS NOT a death sentence. Its a illness, yes a disease, but there are more people alive who have had it than there have been people who didnt make it - always remember that. The odds are on your side. Yes there are no guarantees, but life never came with a guarantee and like Janice very clearly put it above, the chances of being killed in your car are higher - but we still get in them..becuase we have to move in a forward direction. I remember the days i cried so very hard, devastatingly crying, I can never ever remember crying the way I did when I was dx'ed, I planned my funeral (in my head), i cryed tears of anguish and pain when I thought I would never see my boys get married, I was p*****d off that I wouldnt grow old with my darling husband and do the things we'd planned to do in our golden years......this went on for weeks, but slowly and surely as treatment got underway the fog and hurt and anguish just started to lift to the point today I only rarely have down days when I start over thinking. Im through chemo.....totally doable even though there will be shit days, Ive had an Mx - i accepted that from day one even before they told me Id have to have my breast removed, they took it and im over it (sort of), im just getting over cellulitis and then ive got rads to go. Im here, im fighting and I aint got no intention of leaving my family just yet.....and I know you havent either. Everyone of the women on BCC will help you through this, we owe it to each other to be a force not to be messed with, our knowledge is amazing - you need to know somethng, someone here will have the answer - just have to ask and no question is stupid - every question is valid. Im still on the rollacoaster too Mandy, havent got off it yet, but I will soon, and you will be right behind me. Your future is just ahead of you....keep chasing it. Chin up - its gonna be OK. Lisa ... View more

Congrats on finishing chemo Amylou xxxx ... View more

This is just what the doctor ordered, i gained a whopping 3.5 stone since dx. ... View more

Thanks for those reassuring words Mal. I finished 8 lots of chemo in April an MX in May and im waiting for rads to begin but i have cellulitis in my wound. I too had some major dark days when dx'ed in september last year and started planning my funeral. Admittedily the dark days are less so, but i still have to chase negative thoughts away. I havent got to the place yet where i wake up in the morning and dont place my first thought on my BC (dont know how long it took before that happened for you) maybe once active treatment is over. Either way, its great to read when previous bc sisters remind us still going through active treatments that there is light at the end of the tunnel.........its just a damn long tunnel is all! I wish you the best and once again, many thanks Lisa ... View more

Hi Rattles Apologies, a better explanatiion would of helped lol. I had an MX. No recon yet as I have rads etc. Went back to hospital yesterday as I was just getting more and more ill, my temp was 38 8 and redness started to cover my chest, plus it was really hot to the touch. I had no appointment at the breast unit I just walked in a begged to see a BCN - who took one look and said she will get a doctor....along comes doctor, does exam and says he wants to aspirate whatever fluid is under the wound. Anyway, they drew off about 150mls of fluid and have sent it off to see whats growing in there. Doc has changed my antibiotics, now on 500mg of fluxociliin x 4 a day and 500 of pencillin x 4 a day - lots of tablets but today my temp has started to climb down and I actually feel a bit better. I go back tomorrow for results of culture and they said they will change antibiotics depending on whatever was growiing in the fluid. ... View more

I had awful wind with lactulose but it works well as a stool softner. For the real brick constipation of chemo i used movicol. It tastes gross but it moves mountains! Prunes or prune juice is a good option ... View more

My condolances Val. glad to know she passed peacefully. ... View more

Its ok now Clare, you're free. The memory of your journey will keep us all fighting on Love you Clare xxx Rest in Peace ... View more

Brilliant news Angelfalls and long may it continue to provide excellent results! ... View more

Hey hun, Just wanted to send you my condolances, so young. Doesnt matter that it wasnt BC, it still hurts the family. I went for my smear early, as soon as i was dx'ed with BC i asked for a smear also, a year before it was due. I hope her twins continue to give you comfort in the years to come, her legacy will live on in them. God Bless ... View more

Omg congratulations jackster, how wonderful, hope today goes well for you. Geordielass - sorry you find yourself here, i had my Mx on 4th may after 8 cycles of chemo. Im recoveing well, still a bit sore but no longer on pain relief. You will be OK, you will get through this. ... View more

Thinking of you Clare. Thankyou for sharing your feelings, thoughts and experiences over the past few months, i am humbled and you are Blessed. Lisa Xxx ... View more