well little one is back at school after half term. We had a good time and it was nice to have the week together. Now back to running round with work, appointments and trying to get my roof and flat fixed (what I'll do when it's all done I don't know!).
Twinky, such devastating news for you, not surprising you're struggling with it I really feel for you. This bl**dy disease is bad enough without knowing the recurrence could have been prevented. The added stress of the legal matters can't help either.
joan, that meal sounded nice, shame the reality wasn't up to it!
jane, I thnk my train arrives at the same time as yours if you want to meet at the station, 1:27 mine arrives
... View more
Can't believe its been a year, wow. I am so glad I found the forums and joined in this one, I really don't know how I would have gotten throu everything without all you lovely ladies keeping me smiling. Thank you. Can't wait til Birmingham just a fort it to go now
Jnegusuk, this is such a scary time for you facing a huge horrible unknown that you can't run away from. Georgie is right, the support you can get from others going through treatment at the same time is enormous and has been so important to me. Ask for support from family and friends as well, as much as you can, every little thing helps though you will be surprised at how much you can still do throughout it. Good luck
... View more
hope everyone is doing ok today. Carole (megsmum)good luck with your mammogram today, had mine on Tuesday, was all over in a flash, some amusement and kerfuffle as they had it booked for both breasts but otherwise straightforward. The nurse also told me at although she couldn't give me any actual results it all looked ok and to try to forget about it for the next four weeks. She was three years post bc diagnosis as well so very understanding. Hope it all goes smoothly for you anyway.
georgie what an awful onc Not even checking whether you'd spoken to someone else before biting back at you.
carole (caramel) glad your results came back good, doesn't matter how much we "know" they should be fine its always there until we get the ok. Sue, hopefully the next two weeks will fly by so you don't spend too much time worrying, it is always there though isn't it.
beryl, am so impressed with your gym attendance, you make me feel tired each time! I'm hoping the lighter days will get me out a bit more, with work and childcare and all these bugs going round I'm ready for bed by 7 when my boy goes to bed. It's all i can do to get myself some dinner before heading to bed!
well I've booked my train tickets for Birmingham, will be arriving early afternoon Friday (have taken Friday off work), not long now 🙂 I went to a young womens bc support group last night for the first time. Was a lovely bunch of ladies, just seems a shame its not advertised more widely, it seems it depends whe you're getting treatment as opposed to where you live if you hear about it. I only found out after meeting a lady local to me who has treatment at a different hospital to me. The organisation itself deals with all cancers and all ages and provides so much support and other therapies, I can't believe I never knew about it. Work is going ok though still feels a bit odd as I have no students still (apart from my OU job) so feel a bit of a spare part, but am trying to use the time to get all the stuff sorted I never usually get time to do!
good to see e sun today 🙂
... View more
Hope everyone is feeling ok. Twinky your cough has gone on for ages, really can't be helping your mood must be exhausting. It may be worth pushing them to get a chest x-ray done, my lungs are much better now after they picked up inflammation from radiotherapy. You wouldn't think it would still have an effect but it seems to go on forever. I do hope you can get it sorted, rotten to feel so bad constantly. And do come along to the friday night of the march meet up if you can, there are a few of us there friday night as well so should be fun.
Beryl, glad all went well at your appointment. Appointment for 2014, i thought my onc appt for october was bad enough!
Jane, hope your friend's results come back ok, I guess they wouldn't say they didn't think it was cancerous unless they were pretty certain. Must've brought back some memories for you though, very brave going of you to go with her for support.
Joan, hope your mood is lifting after your son's departure, one advantage nowadays is being able to video call over the internet, not the same as having him around I know. We should have another London evening meet up after this snow's gone, really enjoyed the last one.
Well, I'm working at home today (honest!) a real advantage of my job is that flexibility, i was running around like crazy yesterday and really having to make my brain work again so it's rather nice to have a more chilled out day today. My son has had some rotten cold as well so hasn't been sleeping well, coupled with the steroid insomnia it's no wonder i'm so tired! he did at least sleep til 6am this morning though so i feel much perkier today 🙂 Other effect of the steroids has been weight gain 😞 had done so well throughout treatment and hadn't gained anything, now i've put on 9lbs in 3 weeks and I still feel starving all the time. Dose goes down again next week though so hoping it will curb that, then just have to get out and lose what i've gained. Am so paranoid about having any excess fat as it produces oestrogen, i want it all gone, my odds are bad enough as it is, just have to look at it as a temporary thing i guess (hope!). Had better get back to doing some work, have a good day Marchies
... View more
Oh you have all made me giggle this morning, what a great start to the day 🙂
it's just started snowing here and I'm full of beans having had my first full night sleep since chemo started, slept right through til 6am! So am making marmalade before getting on with some work (the advantages of working from home!). Hope everyone is wemorningsmornings
... View more
feels like I haven't posted for ages! I've been trying to avoid the forum late evening as I found myself browsing around and finding things that upset me, only now I just end up not getting on the site at all because I'm not doing it in the evening! So, new pact with myself that I will only look at our thread in e evening, and if I want to browse I'll do it in the daytime when my brain is less susceptible to rising panic over everything. Have been having a fun and positive January so far though so something is working. Has been really nice just getting on with normal boring stuff again, though I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon enough 🙂 still not sleeping great but my dose goes down again in a couple of weeks so hopefully that will help. I just can't get back to sleep once I wake at 4am and so am exhausted by the evening, not quite sure what to do about it as I can't take sleeping pills whilst my boy is here, wouldn't trust that I could wake if needed, was a struggle last year as well. At least I know its only temporary I guess.
Joan, well done on getting the kitchen done, sounds nice. You have made me chuckle with the holiday date issue, sounds like it would have been easier to get everyone else to go on the date you had in your head 🙂
nice to hear from you Beryl, hope lunch was good, a roast is always perfect on a Sunday 🙂
clare, good to hear from you, and you're sounding so happy and positive, great that something good has come out of all this rubbish. Glad you got a good holiday, much needed and deserved. Hope the studies are going well.
chascat, forum has been a bit odd hasn't it, hello though if you make it back!
time to try for a bit of sleep. Love to all
... View more
I've posted this on FB but for those who don't have access I thought I'd put it here as well.
For the tree we only get a few lines so I've put something short together. The site is playing up at the moment so I can't check if it fits but wanted to get your thoughts as soon as I could.
For Carol, our dear Dulcie, A brave 'Marvellous Marchie' who could always make us smile You touched our hearts and eased our journey together with your humour and kindness Never forgotten and always in our thoughts Your fellow Marvellous Marchies from the Breast Cancer Care forum hope everyone is doing well. Glad to hear Rosie is back safe and sound. Am off to the hospital tomorrow for chest X-ray and appt with my research trial doc to see what's happening with my lung, hopefully improved enough to get me off the steroids xx
... View more
have the night to myself as boy boy is at his dad's this weekend (after lots of tears!), so have settled myself into bed with a book (so exciting eh). The steroids are playing havoc with my sleep so I'm exhausted by 9pm, will be glad to come off them though they did at least give me energy to have a good holiday so not all bad 🙂
jane, hope Rosie comes home soon safe and sound.
joan, impressed with your busy weekend lined up, sounds fun, my kitchen is full of holes at the moment where they've investigated the leak so mine looks like a bombsite!
sue enjoy your meal tomorrow, should be a fun night with all your family there
KQ, a dry January? Not sure I could do that, though I don't drink much now (more than one glass and I pay for it in flushes and disturbed sleep!), impressed you're trying it though. I've decided on no resolutions this year, I've denied myself too much in the past so this year's purely for me (so maybe the resolution is to be selfish for the year!)
am entertaining tomorrow night, nice to get back to cooking something a bit different for people, something I missed this last year being able to take my time and enjoy cooking up a storm. very sadly I'm excited about online food shopping arriving in the morning now I have a working fridgefreezer again (well at least I hope it will go down to temperature overnight!), have been using a cool box since I got back from holiday and only had milk and cheese in, its been crazy. Things slowly seem to be getting sorted here anyway so has felt quite a positive week. X-ray and check up on Monday to see if they can wean me off the steroids, so keeping my fingers crossed.
... View more
Hi, I'm a single mum to a 5yo boy and am just coming out of the other side of a year of treatment (two surgeries, chemo and rads). I think rockydog's comment about realising you don't have to be perfect is probably the best advice out there. You will have days when you feel upset, fed up, angry and blow a fuse, just as you would before bc. The thing is not to feel guilty about it (often difficult I know) yes this is a more extreme version of normal life and emotions but it is still fine for them to see you have a whole array of emotions and will help them feel able to express themselves in front of you as well.
My boy has coped surprisingly well with the upheaval in his life (we'd only just moved afather splitting up with his dad before it all happened so he's had a hell of a year), far better than I imagined to be honest despite everyone telling me he'd cope. I had just moved to a new town and knew no-one but its actually been my new neighbours and mums at school who I'd never met before that have been lifelines through this. Take on board offers of help, try to think of specific things people can do for you, play dates to cover the countless appointments are great as the children will feel they get something good out of this as well and you don't have to stress if the appointments run late (which they always seem to!). I was fortunate to get my parents to help out for a few days after each chemo session by they couldn't stay all the time and I won't deny its often very hard having to drag yourself up to care for children when you feel you need looking after yourself. I relaxed some house rules to get through tough times (iPad games in bed first thing in the morning so I could rest helped!) and took as much help as I could whilst trying to keep as much of his life as normal as possible (I think i only missed half a dozen school runs in the whole year).. Do also go on and on to your team about being a single parent, its not always possible but they can often arrange appointments to suit your childcare a bit better, I just wish there was some type of crèche facility at hospitals, radiotherapy was a nightmare for me organising childcare daily (it was in the summer holidays and they wouldn't delay it for me) but I got through with play dates in the end (really, other mums are great, use them)
i did use the mummy's lump book but be really really careful with how you use it. For me it caused more problems than it solved. It has a very stereotypical family portrayed and threw up questions about whether daddy was moving back in (an awfully angry daddy kicking the lawnmower no less!) and has a bad portrayal of the little boy in there who is never shown close to his mum always apart which was queried by my boy as he thought he wouldn't get cuddles anymore. I found explaining things in terms he could understand and answering whatever questions he had as best I could was far better. I wish I'd never shown him the book to be honest but I didn't feel there was any other support out there.
Feel free to pm me if you want to chat, it was a really tough year but doable and feels good to be coming out the other end and I think my relationship with my boy has become much stronger for it. Using the forums here has also helped as it gives a safe place to vent when its getting tough. I've made some fantastic friends on here and its been good to have people that know what you're going through so you can say what you like and get it all out of your system.
Good luck with treatment
... View more
Happy new year everyone, here's to a happy and healthy one
didnt make it to midnight here, nowhere near! But both me and the boy are feeli much better this morning, hopefully over the worst of this bug. What a way to end the year. Today has started bright and sunny, I have emergency roofers coming out today (water pouring in yesterday was tripping my electrics!) and fridgefreezer should hopefully be delivered tomorrow so am feeling like a positive start to e year at least.
hope you all had a great evening
... View more
hope everyone is doing well today. I stayed away from the forum yesterday and tried to enjoy the anniversary of my diagnosis as a day to move forward and not dwell. After hearing the sad news about Dulcie I had thought I would find the day quite difficult but I was very fortunate that I was with all my family and we went out for our Christmas lunch and I spent the day playing with my boy. I couldn't have asked for a better day really and was glad to be able to enjoy it. i felt incredibly lucky to have that time that so many others don't.
As far as the woodland trust goes they send out a certificate (which you can personalise and write a few lines on) and send that with a leaflet detailing the chosen wood. They said they would send it direct to thre recipient but it ended up sent to my alace and had to send it on myself. Not an issue really but wasn't expecting it. I'm happy to sort it when we get an address to send it to (via Amylou if the family would prefer).
... View more
My heart and thoughts are with e family and loved ones of our Marvellous Marchie Dulcie. Her strength of character always shone through and her humour and brightness lit every one of us during our journeys. It's hard to believe she is gone. She made a huge difference to each of us this year and will be missed by us all
rest in peace now Dulcie
... View more
Such sad news about Dulcie. She was such a wonderful character and showed good humour and strength in face of such terrible hardship and pain. My thoughts are with her family and friends at such a sad time. Thanks for letting us know Amy, I hope you are doing alright
... View more
Argh, today has been so stressful i really rather need the holiday now! I was having my noisy (under guarantee) fridgefreezer repaired today and turns out there was a blockage which with the repair has now moved so that it can't be regassed. so noisy fridge has turned into not working fridge. fortunately i had been running it down but still a lot of waste as can't get a new one til after i get back. And i noticed a leak under the sink so have had to get someone out to deal with that as well! not how i had planned to spend the last day with my boy. that didnt go smoothly either but in typical child resilience he was happy giggling watching TV before I'd got back home so at least he cheered up (after leaving me feeling so awful at the tears when i left him!) cheeky children eh. I know he'll miss me still but i do hope he still has lots of fun.
Sue, great you've rebooked New York, how exciting. Hope you feel better soon
Beryl, hope the new pills mean that those aches ease for you, that would be a nice christmas present, i expect a good boxing day walk if it does work 🙂
WS, hope everything went well with appointments today and you get some rest this weekend after running around all day
I'll be joining in that midnight toast to say goodbye to this year and wish us all a happy healthy 2013, quite nice to know we'll be toasting each other around the country 🙂
So, i have my "warning I contain metal" medical note from the GP in case my expander implant (with metal port) sets off the airport alarms, and i think i'm pretty much packed now at least. So i want to wish you all a merry christmas, i really hope its a peaceful one for everyone, hopefully families can stay calm for a short period and enjoy each other's company (prob too much to ask I know). See you all when I get back
... View more
Thanks joan and WS for your kind words, they are most comforting. I am feeling a bit brighter today and have had a lovely morning with my boy so far chilling out and playing games (he's already broken up from school which is nice). Was rather tired yesterday which never helps does it, and I had apparently messed up the handover days (which I'm not so sure I did but who knows with this brain fog!) which means I have one less night with him, last straw I think.
WS, am glad you've got counselling sorted, its been such a year I think it's good to have the space to get it all out without feeling like you're imposing on people. I've had a few sessions now and it was going really well, I was feeling a lot more positive even if I still felt like I couldn't plan far ahead. I think this time of year always throws things up though and I'm hoping some of the coping strategies I've learnt will help with the down times. Hope your Xmas will be ok without your boy, it just seems another blow to have them away after all this doesn't it, but you are right, next year is ours and we'll hopefully be feeling fighting fit (and be able to taste Xmas dinner!)
joan, hope your staff do went well. I think you've got a great idea going out for Xmas lunch, everyone can relax then and no washing up 🙂 have to say it does feel odd to have an empty fridge this close to Christmas
jane, glad you're getting all festive, I do like all the lights and sparkly stuff, cheers up the long nights. Hope your friend is ok, horrible time to be in the waiting room, particularly after a previous diagnosis. Must've brought some memories back for you as well, hope you're ok.
right, back to my boy, think we may make some more Xmas decorations whilst waiting for the postman to bring a new printer (so I can print boarding passes!).
love to all, thoughts are with the ladies we haven't heard from from a while
... View more
have been frantically busy sorting Christmas stuff out on top of everything else (p,us the additional travel issues with changed meds etc). Really hit me tonight that my little boy won't be with me for Xmas. He's been getting so overwhelmingly excited and looking forward to Christmas Day as he should and I want him to be excited. But it made me cry, just sat on the sofa watching him unable to stop. Bless him though he grabbed a book and cuddled up with me to read and then told me he still loved me even though I had stropped, couldn't help but laugh at that. Still feels so difficult though even though I have something to look forward to myself. Steroids are stopping me sleeping properly which I don't think is helping matters then all e year anniversaries of everything bc related. Rough night tonight.
good to hear everyone's Christmas prep is going well though, gives me some cheer at least
... View more