I hate it when people say to me your half way through! To me all I can think is I've got the same amount to go again! I've had a very odd week this week. I haven't felt too great and the taste thing that I've developed this time is really getting me down. Firstly like I said, I haven't felt too great. My self esteem has reached an all time low. I look in the mirror and wonder who this strange person looking back at me is. I have half a boob which is at least 10 cms higher than my other one. I've no hair. Not only have I gained a considerable amount of weight ( 1 1/2 stone since diagnosis) but I'm also very swollen. I've aged too, not just visually but physically too. I constantly sweat from the hot flushes, that seem to come every 10 to 20 mins. My eyes constantly look tired and sore from the constant streaming! I'm struggling to keep inside the rising anger and frustration that I feel towards people and their insensitive comments. Just the other day a bloke I know said "it could be worse, you could have what I had, my throat is still sore a month later" not that I'm belittling him or what he has/is going through, but seriously, he had throat cancer which was cleared up with 4 weeks of radiotherapy. I stood before him with no hair looking dreadful as it was only 5 days post chemo, having had 2 ops and looking forward to 5 weeks radio, another op and 10 years of medication and a lifetime of praying it never returns! I really wanted to punch him! My sister who hasn't spoke to me since I told her I had been diagnosed also decided this week to let my other sister know why. Apparently she had been feeling down for a bit beforehand and was upset as it was all about 'me' now and it made her feel worse as she wasn't getting the attention...yes ladies, this actually came out of another human beings mouth! I wouldn't mind but I haven't been any different during any of my treatment. I have made sure life has remained as close to normal as possible for my children regardless how how ill I may have been, I have cooked, cleaned, washed, ironed and gone back to work as soon as I've got over the worst of the SE. Jeez I do feel so much better now I've wrote all that down, it feels like I've lifted a weight off! On a happy note though, I'm going away this weekend as I so desperately need a break from all this. Hope you are all well, thanks for being there to listen/read. Hailey how's your little one? Marie x
... View more