Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi. I'm sorry to hear this. My chemo was 2014 and feels like yesterday. I completely understand how you are feeling. I lost 3 days of my life after the 1st. I was in hospital and could hear people talking but didn't have the strength to reply. The 2nd was slightly better ( not much sorry) so they reduced my dose. I was still ill but not as bad. Its nothing you have done it just affects everyone differently. I thought i was dying. I hope next time its better. Probably worth talking to your onc. You will get through it but it won't feel it right now but it gets better I promise. Lots of love Caz x ... View more

Hi cat I finished chemo in June. I regularly feel sick and ( sorry tmi) but if I belch it stops for a while. I was never a nauseous person prior to this. It started 6 weeks after starting tamoxifen. Don't know if its related. X ... View more

Hi Im so so sorry to hear this.  You could have been me speaking about 6 or 7 moths ago.  Chemo was hell!  I was hospitalised twice with horrendous nausea and I couldnt even speak to the nurses.  I totally understand.  I talked at length with my onc as I was ready to stop and I never thought I would even consider that.  She reduced my dose and I got through it.  It was still difficult but it was more manageble.  I treated one cycle at a time.  So I thought right I'm only doing one more, then Id get to the next and think, ok one more.  I honestly didnt think Id get to the end. I had all the meds but nothing made it go away. I just know now that I'm releived I did it as I'd be worrying even more than I already do.  You can do this.  One at a time x ... View more

Hi Sue and Alice.  Oh Alice sorry to hear about your colds.  That's rubbish!  I dont cope with being unwell now at all.  It's sort of a reminder of feeling so yuck during chemo I think. I hope your cough gets better soon.  My cough lasted weeks post radio. Sorry you are still having kidney issues, Sue.  Hopefully the op will get to the bottom of it but sorry you have to go through it.  I'm still waiting for my thyroid to be checked again.  I think they are waiting to see if it changes.  Its awful when there are unresolved issues as it prevents us moving on wholeheartedly, even though we try to convince everybody we have!  If you remember right at the beginning I had a baseline scan which showed a lesion on my liver.  They were not concerned but said I'd be rescanned at the end of treatment.  I'm waiting for that scan and had managed to convince myself it was nothing as I've felt really well.... but for the last 3 weeks I've been absolutely exhausted and also i've been nauseus for the last couple of weeks.  So back on the waiting game.  So stressed.  My partner gets really cross though, saying its been a year and I need to move on.  I really am trying but days like today its so hard! Tried to distract myself today and had some beauty treatments.  My hair is also awful Alice, curly and sticking out.  Havent the courage to go to the hairdressers wigless yet though. Lots of love, Caroline xxx   ... View more

Hi everyone. Glad you all seem to be coping and moving on with life and as much as possible putting this behind you. Although I'm not on here much I think about you all daily. I struggled to get back to work with the horses. I just don't feel robust and fit like I did before. Not sure if that's psychological though. I'm ok with most of them but the youngsters ( who I used to happily break in and get thrown off on occasion lol) make me nervous now. I just feel a vulnerability I didn't feel before. So anyway I felt like I needed to hand over the reins (I know terrible pun) to my partner and do something else. So I've started my own cake business! I've made celebration cakes for years but only on an ad hoc basis but its really taking off. It is helping to keep me sane as it keeps me busy and helps me concentrate on something. The things we do to focus our minds on positive things! Love to you all xxx ... View more

Hello lovely ladies. Thank you for asking after me, Sue. I hope you are all ok. Hope you are getting somewhere with your kidneys, Sue. It's about time they sorted it out for you. Fingers crossed its easy to sort and you get some relief. Love to you and your family Hayley. I thought I hadn't heard from you for a while but didnt want to contact you as guessed you'd be tied up with hospital and looking after the rest of your lovely brood. Hope Fiannah is getting stronger. I haven't been on the forum for a while as sometimes its easier to pretend none of this has happened and just crack on with life, so sorry I haven't been in touch. I have a friend who had BC a couple of years ago and she regularly contacts me to tell me bad news about other ladies or statistics and it scares me to death so I've been coping in general by metaphorically putting my fingers in my ears and go la la la this hasn't happened to me! I also keep myself ridiculously busy which probably isn't the best coping mechanism! I'm still waiting for a repeat thyroid biopsy and had to have a chest x ray last week as Ive had a cough for about 8 weeks and asthma terrible. It was clear so they think they have maybe caused it with the rads, which is completely fine and a relief. Its lovely to hear about hair growing and you brave ladies going wigless. I'm quite lucky in that I appear to have fewer greys now than before! However my hair looks sort of faded, like its been on too hot a wash lol. I love having my eyebrows and eyelashes back... Those small things mean so much. Lots of love to you all Caz xxxxxxxxxxxx ... View more

Hi hazel So sorry you are worrying about your back. Like you say, it's probably nothing but I understand your worry. I'm really stiff and achey from after effects of chemo so if you are too it could be linked to that. Worrying is so wearing and takes the shine off everything so try not to and I ll try to do the same 😊 Let us know how you are Hayley. Worried after we spoke on Saturday Xxx ... View more

Hi ladies. Sorry I haven't been on here for a while. I have had some tough times and didnt feel coming on here to offload was helpful or fair to anyone. I was too worried to put my fear into words. I was getting day headaches and ft dizzy and sick regularly. To be honest it spoiled my holiday In turkey as I was so worried. To cut a long story short I was sent for a brain scan and it was clear except sinusitis,thank goodness. You may also remember they found a nodule on my thyroid and i was told it needed biopsying back in march. I eventuay got a thyroid appointment after lots of hassle to go and to be told it needed biopsying! I said I thought that's what I was there for and the registrar I saw said, no we send you an appointment for that! He told me it could be related to the BC (I was told in march it wouldn't be as it doesn't go to the thyroid) so it was a pretty upsetting appointment. My family were upset too as all this waiting for results affects everyone so on their advice I contacted PALS. The lady there was brilliant and made sure I got an appointment for the following week. The biopsy was pretty painless but when I rang for results I was told they hadn't got enough and I need to wait for an appointment for another biopsy! So I ll wait as what else do you do lol. Apart from this starting to feel a bit more like myself except still bloated and unfit and have the aches and pains of a 90 yr old! On a good note - I have eylashes😊 Sue my heart went out to you reading your post. I'm so so sorry both you and your daughter have had this to deal with this. Your comment about him seeing like a stranger rang bells. My friend's husband has been seeing someone else and has left her and the kids. She has been with him since she was 16 so almost 27 yrs. We have had many conversations (her drunk, me sober- usually) over the past few weeks and him seeming like a stranger is the hardest part for her to bear. Someone who was her best friend and 'part of her' to suddenly act so hurtfully (and continue to) is devestating and your lovely daughter and you I imagine must be feeling similar. In time she will be happy again, probably more so than she was, but she won't feel like this right now bless her. Huge hugs, sue. I really hope you are managing to support her and look after yourself too. Love to you all. Caz xxxx ... View more

Hi Hayley Huge huge hugs sweetheart. I can feel your worry and upset coming through in your posts. No one can make the worry or fears go away for you. I second big pumpkin in that if you want to pm I will support you as best I can. My heart goes out to you. why cant things be simple. Sending lots of love and thoughts. I know the circumstances are completely different but I bled really badly with my third child until 16 weeks. She was IVF and I was sure I would lose her but right this second she's a stropping 3 yr old cos she can't have another ice cream. You have been a star throughout this, regularly making me smile with your posts through my really bad days. Use us all, we are here for you Caz xxxxxxxxxx ... View more

Good luck, jilly. Hope all goes well. Very positive results from your chemo 😊. My rads don't start until the beginning of August I think so I'm behind the other ladies too. I've been interested to read about their experiences and am happy so many of you have finished or cracking on with it. I feel like I'd like to start exercising too jaffacakes. I'm going to look a little more rotund in my bikini in turkey than usual 😄. I had a mastectomy so the one boob and no hair will add to the glamour lol. I've decided I just need to get on with it and not worry what others think. Thanks for your kind words big pumpkin. I'm glad you are cracking on with your rads despite your wait. That must be frustrating if it happens daily. Still 8 ducklings seeming to fend well for themselves yay! They are becoming more brave and swimming during the day. We have one gosling out of at least 30 eggs. The 5 geese are very proud of him and all of them are very overprotective. With all of this support behind him the gosling is the playground bully and is quite mean to the ducklings! Poor little mites. How are yours jaffacakes? Still worried about Hayley Love to you all xxx ... View more

I've just re read my post and it sounds very depressing. Ha ha sorry guys. I'm sure I've done a fab job of cheering you all up 😄 Xxx ... View more

Hi ladies Glad you are all zipping through radiotherapy. I've been interested to read all your experiences. Don't start mine until sometime wb 28th June. I know what you mean about work jaffacakes. When I consciously think about it I'm trying to carry on as normal and fill my days with distractions ( too many! ) But when I'm low I'm terrified that this is it and try to be the most superhuman mum possible. We can't go through life thinking the worst though can we??? For what life will that be? Sorry I'm not preaching to anyone - except myself lol! I'm going away to turkey for 2 weeks. Booked last minute after seeing onc on wed and being told it will be good for me and no harm in going. I love my hols normally but I'm really only going for kids. Pretty scared of being so far from home. But hey ho this is me carrying on as normal ha ha. Thyroid appointment not until 14 th August sue. I nagged and nagged as after all it was them who said I needed the appointment! It arrived in post last week for then. They are obviously not worried ( or disorganised. ) lets hope it's the former. Glad yoir duckings are doing well jaffacakes. Our ducklings have def lost their mum 😞 we have 8 left who appear on the pond in the morning at about 5am. they have a swim and avoid the 5 geese who are feircely protective of their 1 gosling they have. They then wander off to a field to hide in the crops at 8ish until the next morning. They are still tiny and my heart goes out to them in case a fox or our cat gets them. Fingers crossed Worried about Hayley 😞 Love to you all. Caz xxx ... View more

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUE!!! Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy biiiiirthday dear sue oo Happy birthday to you Hip hip .... Hip hip ..... Hip hip..... Hooray!!! You'll be glad you couldn't hear me - Simon Cowell won't come knocking anyday soon 😉 xxx ... View more

Hi everyone. Hope you are feeling better sue and chemo goes well today. Sleeping before chemo is never easy. I have joined the FB group but have no intention of leaving here as I want to know how you are all doing 🙂 Happy birthday for tomorrow Sue. I hope you manage to have a lovely day and make those lovely memories. I'm sure you will find it hard missing your partner but I'm sure he will be smiling on you and hoping you enjoy such a special day. Big hug xxx Hoping you are ok Hayley. Worried about you 😞 That was a lovely uplifting message Eleri filled with hope and positivity. I hope it made the other ladies smile the way it did me. Although we all have our down days we all have a lot to look forward too and that reminded me of that, thank you x Poor ducks jaffacakes. I was thinking about you the other day as 12 ducklings appeared on our pond with their mum. They disappear during the day into the trees but reappear in the evening. However the other night they appeared without their mum and there were only 8. We haven't seen their mum since and I have been frantically googling 'how to hand rear ducklings!' However we can't catch them. They are fast little bleeps. We have masses of reeds around the pond so they can hide. Apparently other ducks and geese ( of which we have 6 bad tempered ones) try to drown them so I'm losing sleep lol. We could do with your husband to sort them out- he seems to take his responsibilities to yours seriously 🙂 Horse show went well except one of the 4 judges didn't turn up so that was a bit stressful. I managed to commentate on the show jumping but was tired yesterday. Love to you all xxx ... View more

Hi Hayley. glad you have had a talk to your onc and you are settled in yours and Andy's decision. i have everything crossed for you. you deserve a happy pregnancy after all you have been through xxx Hi Sue! Sorry to hear you have been poorly. Strangly enough I have sufferered badly with headache and sickness after my final chemo. A week on I'm still headachey. Maybe it's due to the cumulative nature of it? Lol I've always got worries, Sue, yes I'm still waiting for the thyroid biopsy. Glad the end is in sight for you. A big b day -Fab! Hope you are well enough to have your meal out and you can celebrate in style 😊 I know what you mean about age, I'm 42 and still feel 20 in my head. Probably act it too! My gorgeous little fella (middle one) is 8 this weekend and we are also hosting another big horse show. I'm struggling to get over that last chemo so I'm a bit worried about the weekend. I feel like I should be jumping for joy chemo is over but the ungrateful swine that I am I am a bit flat, restless and worried. Not sure why, I've looked forward to this point for months. Oh the fickle mind😊 Off to the corner to have a word with myself lol Love to you all. It's a bit quiet on here at the moment, hope everyone is ok. I think about you all daily xxx ... View more

Hi Hayley. Congratulations! Lovely news. Here's to a happy, healthy pregnancy 😊 xxx ... View more

Thank you Sue. Good advice. I struggle to explain myself to my onc sometimes as she seems to treat me as if I am neurotic. So I end up just agreeing to anything she says. My next appointment has been changed to 2nd July. I went to clinic this week as I was told I had an appointment to discuss rads, to be sent away by the nurse as they said I didn't. When I got home sure enough I did have a letter stating I did have an appointment! Never mind. I'm interested to know how long it usually is between chemo and rads? I am undecided whether to take the children on holiday in 3 weeks when bloods are up prior to rads starting. Searching the site, there appears to be a few ladies who have done this. Hazel, I hope you are feeling a little less worried? Do we ever?! I understand how difficult it is to get family to understand our worries sometimes. It feels very lonely at times as I don't want to worry them too much but it's hard to look 'normal' and act normally when worrying. I find keeping very, very busy helps but sometimes even when busy its hard to shake off the worry which makes me snappy! I'm not sure about your marker if you already had one inserted. Maybe its due to the margins of your tumour changing die to the chemo? I had mine inserted prior to my mastectomy but didnt have chemo first. The 17th must seem a while away but it will get here and you will then have a clearer picture which will be much better for you. I hope everyone is as ok as they can be and are enjoying some of this lovely weather we are having Love Caz xxx ... View more

So much still going on for everyone! Hazel I'm really sorry your results weren't what you needed to hear but the path report may be really positive. I understand your fears for the future as I too over think and look too far ahead. Big hug and everything crossed. Here's to fast food to keep us sane! Hope you are coping with side effects kess. And I won't say 'only one more' as I was close to poking people in the eye who said it to me! Lots of love Hayley. I really feel for you. Can they help you further in your decision? Xxx That's great Sue re thickening. One less thing to worry about! I'm glad your portcath has gone Alice. Yay! I never had one of those but can imagine how much better that must feel. My appointment for thyroid was a waste of time. I was referred to emergency ENT last week at the big hospital as I had waited so long for an appointment. I have had earache, hoarse voice, tinnitus and stiff neck with sore lymph nodes for months. Anyway they did a hearing test (fine) and stuck the camera up my nose and down my throat. They told me to go to this appointment I already had booked this week to get my thyroid biopsied. So I went to the small hospital on Thursday (day after chemo - yuck) They did same tests again, as they can't access my records from the big hospital, and he told me he doesn't do thyroids and he ll refer me! I was just glad to get home! Love to you all xxx ... View more

That's fantastic news jaffacakes 🙂 I had a lump in other breast and been this morning and they are happy it's nothing 🙂 Another appointment this afternoon for neck and thyroid biopsy. Fingers crossed xxx ... View more