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002Marianne
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since
07-03-2014
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20-03-2014
10:54
You're so welcome, it's good to know you're not alone, and can find comfort in these few words. You did make me laugh about your Jack Russell. I have a lab and a New Foundland great for cuddles too.Xx
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19-03-2014
08:08
This is nobody's fault. I remember when my sister was diagnosed with cancer Stage III, she too had a mastectomy followed by chemo. The situation with the hair seemed to be the pinnacle of when these things really hit home. Hair is so important and part of a womans true identity and the patient knows they're almost certainly going to loose it. I remember brushing my sister hair and it did start to fall out in clumps, she was so down that day and it's understandable, luckily my daughter was with us and suggested that she shave her hair then and there. I knew that my feelings about the situation were that I didn't want to be responsible for taking her hair away, I didn't want to my actions to contribute to an already awful situation. I agree, if you have a mobile hairdresser that will come to the home that might ease your tension, you could explain that maybe your hands are too unsteady or you're not really confident on the shaping round the ears. There maybe tears. My sister was exactly the same about searching for information on the net and support groups, but I find them useful because there is a great deal of acceptance to come to terms with. On the clinical side chemo is derived from mustard gas by it's very nature it lowers the serotonin in the brain (the feel good factor) if your sister appear overly worried, anxious please ask her to tell her oncologist or her breast care nurse and they maybe able to prescribe anti-depressants there's nothing to be ashamed of these could help balance the levels, but please remember that this situation is nobody's fault and repeat it to yourself daily, hourly if it helps. I had to do this especially when I thought I was going to blow at someone with no good cause. I also find walking helps, luckily I have two dogs and I could just go off whenever I pleased.
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16-03-2014
05:21
Rosie, Cancer & Her Magic Balloons. This is the story of my best friend - Once upon a time there was a girl called Rosie, who had magic balloons. The balloons were shinny, bright and as light as air, and she would share these balloons with her friends, family and strangers. Rosie was what some would call a lucky girl she was young, beautiful, funny, intelligent, confident, kind, wise, understanding, brave, she had faith in life. She could appreciate and enjoy the things that were special in life, laughter respect for others and herself. She kept herself healthy, ran, didn't smoke, ate a healthy diet. Because of these shinny beautiful balloons she held and shared she was adored, earned respect from others, she was a leader. But then came something from out of the blue. CANCER STAGE III This was a life lesson she could do without. She took her bravery balloon and marched on. This was it then, it is what it is, she told herself bravery balloon in hand. Then towards the end of the chemo, she became fatigued, tired and lonely. Rosie found herself with some very different balloons, these were grey balloons, heavy balloons, different balloons, trauma, fear, sadness, no confidence, no faith, ugliness and she carried them around with her daily, she became familiar to their weight, she didn't recognize the person she had become, she couldn't let go of the grey balloons were all too heavy, she had been holding these balloons a long long time and with all these balloons crushing her she fell. Rosie wanted to run but she couldn't she was laying there struggling. But were these balloons telling her something? Then a friend noticed something there was a glimmer of a shiney balloon, a bravery balloon, the grey heavy balloon tried to bring her back to the floor, the fear balloon was covering her eyes, but the bravery balloon was shining so brightly. This balloon had never left Rosie and she held it. She began to crawl but the balance was uneven but crawl she did. Then another balloon appeared, substance, how did that get there or was it always there? And so the journey begins. If we return to the begining of the story Rosie is a leader, but what she doesn't realise yet there is a whole army behind her, they in their way have had cancer too. Rosie went to church, she wasn't overly religious, but went never the less. She had to fill her time. What did she see, she saw the acceptence balloon, but other people were holding it tightly, Rosie had a loose grip, she held it out for the other people but not for herself. And she met a friend, who was holding light shiney balloons too. She gave Rosie three of her balloons, encouragement, faith and kindness. Then Rosie went on her way. The bravery balloon took her to an art class, and Rosie painted a beautiful picture, everyone was amazed at what skill and talent she had what beautiful colours Rosie had choosen. But Rosie was holding two balloons, she couldn't accept the recognistion of what she had contributed to the painting, that was a grey heavy balloon. Rosie had to recognize her achiement because that balloon was indeed shining, just grab it her friends urged. This is an ongoing story, but just to add, the bravery balloon is there, the survivior balloon is there and these are shining with all their might. But will the greatest shinest balloons be the wisdom, the understanding and teaching balloon. To my dearest friend Love you always Marianne Xx
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07-03-2014
02:24
Still thinking about you Babychops, have you tried The Haven Leeds contact 0113 284 7829 again councelling offered via the telephone. I know it's difficult but there's something inside you that keeps trying xx
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07-03-2014
09:26
Hello Babychops, sometimes it's just seem all to much and let's face it it is difficult. Did you you know you can telephone the Maggies Centre and try to arrange telephone counseling. Also if you contact your local Mind group there are support sessions for carers. Hey it's not going to be easy to relax, but just for a moment if you could ask your Mum to walk down the road and count backwards in 7's from 100, just suggest it. (It actually can't be done but for a split second it will quiet the mind) Little steps. It's all about distraction even if just for a moment. If you can could you purchase from Amazon a CD - Progressive Muscle Relaxation after E.Jacobson Excercises for Deep Holistic Relaxation, Listen to the long 16 step version once a day, do not expect this to work for at least four to five weeks, but listen. Try to go for a walk, it releases tension, attempt to dig the garden, even if she manages to get the fork out of the shed it's success, attempt to tidy the kitchen cupboard, arrange all the tins so they face forward, put the condiments. salt, pepper, vinegar, mustard etc in order, clean the cupboard if possible with a strong smelling detergent I find Flash New Zealand Spring fragrance the best. It doesn't matter if the results are not sucessful but just attempt. You're probably reading this thinking what a load of bol...s but in itself that's a good thing you have been distracted for a few moments. ;-). But what you're looking for is a quick fix to a problem that in itself appears insummountable. What ever happens today whether your Mum cries, screams or shouts or just sits there glum, just ask her out of the blue to walk and count backwards in 7's from 100. It's all about quietening the mind. Stay in momemnt. Hope to speak soon. Love you Marianne Just remember be kind to yourself, remember step by step and let's try and take things easy.
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07-03-2014
08:28
Excellant book, but at first very difficult to pick up, because you can see yourself in it and that's not how you want to feel. You want to feel better xx
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