So sorry but I'm going to have a rant! Yesterday was such a bad day and not because of physical problems. I drove my daughter and her boyfriend to Manchester airport, they have four weeks away in in Singapore, Malaysia, Bali and somewhere else I can't remember. The drive there was fine, all of us chatting, my husband handing out lots of advice about food to eat etc, (like my daughter doesn't know being a seasoned traveller!) and then we got to the airport. Meltdown. My daughter sobbed, then I cried. Oh dear, what a pair we looked. She was so upset because we all should have been away enjoying fabulous times - her brother and his girlfriend already started their holiday 10 days ago) and we should have left on 25 June. Anyway, I managed to calm us down and off they went. Drive home was uneventful, I quite enjoyed it really. However, I didn't enjoy the rest of the day. Couldn't settle, felt incredibly ANGRY, and ended up going for an 8.5 mile walk along the canal, looking over the bay to the Lakeland fells which normally lifts my spirits.The only thing was, everyone I met, instead of saying hi, or greeting me in some way, seemed to not want to do that, unless I smiled first and said hello and then it seemed to be only the chaps, possibly because I was wearing headgear clearly to cover baldness, jeggings, trainers and a waterproof, whilst they were in shorts and tee shirts! I of course was feeling cold and they were obviously not! When I finally got back, my husband suggested a glass of wine and to get drunk with him, probably joking, but all I could say was, oh, that's really going to be good for me! Total misery. The evening went from bad to worse, each of us preparing our own meals because I haven't been able to eat much since start of chemo, before sitting down to eat together. I went off for a relaxing bath (joke) while he listened to music. I went to bed at 10.30 because I was completely done in. Nightmares then followed, culminating in me bashing a blond haired woman sitting in a bedroom with my husband with a pair of ghd hair straighteners! Not much sleep after that! Got up at 5, finished clearing up the kitchen, fed the cat, cleaned her litter tray and had breakfast on my own. Hope today will be better .... Here endeth the rant. Sorry to all of you suffering far more than me, I just can't cope with how angry I felt yesterday - first time since dx in April. Hope next time I post it will be with something to make you all laugh .... Best wishes to you all out there and let's hope today will be much better! Jane xxxxx
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