Breast Cancer Care Forum

  Steamy  (Phew!!! X) ... View more

STEEPLE   x's to everyone  ... View more

Hi Lisa I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. You must feel worse, exactly because, as you said, your oncologist "couldn't" give you the "all clear" - so nothing's definite. Plus that you can't check yourself out physically either. So I'm not surprised you feel this way, must feel like you're in limbo land. You went through all the afore with such positivity, expecting to be clear from it.  Sorry I can't come up with any suggestions to help, Lisa. I feel quite useless for you, but didn't just want to pass your post by, and wanted to wish you well with it all. But I hope someone else can and does. Have you thought to contact the helpline on here - "Someone Like Me" to discuss your fears with? Maybe they can help and offer suggestions.   I hope you stay and keep well, and can find something to curb your fears. Lots of love to you Delly xxx ... View more

Mhaz - I'm so pleased, 'cos I had to hold off responding, as I had a similar experience, just within a year later from my first, which turned out not so good, as in a new primary in my opposite side. So am extra really pleased for you. xxx  ... View more

Hi floss 62 I'm so sorry to hear of your counsellor and BCN let downs. I'm not understanding why, or what's going on. I had such amazing help from my BCN's, 2006. Is it all due to NHS cutbacks, I wonder. Hope your mammo went well with favourable results, and hope your MRI goes well too.  Am not understanding why said you "had to hide it from your family", but also hope that's sorted. Please carry on keeping us informed with how you're doing Lots of love x x x ... View more

Good for you - Oldspice. I'm well with you on the moderation to have what you want or helps. Cheers - followed by clink of glasses  xxx ... View more

Hi again thurnefi Just unfortunate. I'd had the foresight before the op, to advise the surgeon that my skin wasn't great with stretching, and so we discussed going easier following the initial expander installation op - with lesser amounts of fluid and longer spaced appointments for. But didn't think to say, or that I'd need to say, that it wasn't great with heavy pressure either.    Also, I'd just presumed he'd be performing the op, but he just performed a small part of it. It is a training hospital, but had I known beforehand it wouldn't be him, I would have had the option to ask specifically for him to do it. But you don't always think or remember to ask all these questions, do you. I was still glad I'd gone for the recon option though!  xxx  xxx ... View more

Why Oldspice?  I didn't find any of your views "strong"?!! xxx ... View more

Morning girls Rockstarchic - That's great you volunteering for BCC. I'm so with you on Breast Care nurses. Mine were a so lovely, always wonderfully helpful and supportive. Even these years later, I still have a huge warm "Thanks" for them in my heart. Bless 'em. Three cheers for the Rochdale and Oldham girls, and BCNs everywhere. I'm sure it'd have been a darn sight more difficult to get through without them. Juliewulie - I was going to say, maybe your local MacM may be different, but you mentioned being in the same area as Rockstarchic, are you?   I also attended a large and well attended, breast support group, attached to the hospital, for a while after my first BC episode, 2006. I don't know if such groups still exist these days? So much is done "on-line" with anything now, as opposed to face to face, rather than direct contact. That isn't that I'm not appreciative of this Forum and such places. I truly am. Think they are great extra place in their way, for contact, support and advice, especially as you can reach anyone in the country, world. But maybe I'm old fashioned, in that I still prefer to be able to physically meet other fellow women in the flesh, who'd been through it in various different ways. found it invaluable to be able to talk with, laugh with, sob with, have a big hug with. Physical bonding, as well as mentally, that's isn't just through the ether. I never attended "Moving On" courses, there weren't many such around then, But I would have. Not just for the helpful content of the course, but equally importantly for that physical meeting up with other fellow women. Technology has its advantages, but I strongly feel its removing much of our all important human face to face physical contact. Doesn't surprise me that so many more kids are suffering with depression, adults too. Every where you go, kids and people generally, have their faces in their phones, or earplugs in, walking down the street, in hospital waiting rooms, heads in computers on trains, buses planes. They and we don't seem to interact, chat with our other humans the same as we used to any more. Do we? Sorry I've gone on (nowt new there Delly!!  ). Lots of love to everyone xxxxxxx      ... View more

I forgot the best one girls   Why do Giraffes have such long necks?  Because they've got smelly feet!!!!   Hope you're all having a good Sunday. Yes I know, even better with my joke    xxxxxxxx ... View more

Umph Jaybro - Yeh, lack of "empathy", which can only come from a "sharing" of the same. Maybe if she had had it (I'm not wishing it on anyone though), she'd be more understanding  Cancer forces us to question our mortality, probably a lot sooner than we would have!! How can it not, after a diagnosis with it. It literally pushes your nose into life's brown stuff, and question it, and all sorts of other stuff, like why me, what have I done wrong to deserve it? Jeeez, afraid I'd have had to have had a gentle, but straight talking conversation with that person, however long I'd known them. I admire your patience and tolerance of such. xxx ... View more

Loulinen My heart goes out to you. Maybe if you looked into recon to have your physical "loss" of boob replaced, that you are also grieving from, you would/could feel better. I certainly did, just from my initial expanders, prior to permanent silicones (still not yet had done). Wow, what a difference it made. Felt like I'd got some of my old self back, when I looked in the mirror, rather than constantly upset every time I did, and so avoiding doing so. Gave my confidence a really good boost. Forget vanity. As Cheryl and the other L'Oreal advert models say: "You deserve it"!! It may be just the thing to help shift your "Blues" somewhat. I can remember literally falling on the floor, seeing myself in the hospital bathroom mirror for the first time, following my first mastectomy. Even worse after my second mast, a year later. Took me 7 years to get around to recon, due to other of life's brown stuff. So wished I'd done it sooner. Hope you're feeling better soon. Delly xxxxxx ... View more

Congrats and WhoooHooo to you also, Judi/Ollisj6. Read it on another of your posts, you being now 5 yrs clear  x x x ... View more

Typical Me - Yeh, I DO remember you from previous posts, sweetheart. Think it was ref reconstruction? Yeh, it DOES "smash your world up" and smashes up you as person. It's never gonna be a good time for such a diagnosis, is it. Not working at the time either - sounds like an extra loss? Want to share it? Crying has been shown to reduce your body of cortisol, the fright and flight hormone that builds up, so its GOOD to. Listen me, I'm sounding like some guru and authority on the post BC blues. Don't be fooled!!  Wish I were, I'd be could be earning a bloomin fortune!  Rockstarchic - Your daughter? Mmmm. Jeez, it's bad enough having to cope with your diagnosis yourself. But, you're also having to cope with others, who've grown to view and depend on you as being indestructible, which is probably your daughters view? And don't we just tend to think our Mums and Dads are indestructible, when of a certain age. Until we learn otherwise. Must be difficult, and a huge disappointment and shock that you aren't. How old is she? Guess she feels let down, do you think? Perhaps if you make a point of telling her sorry if she feels let down, it wasn't your fault, wasn't something you could help, but that you need HER help and support, she would better understand and be more supportive?   Eeee, I dunno. BC's bo**ox, innit!! xxxxxxxxxx ... View more

Hi thurnefi Yeh, I'm with Jaybro in the "try it and see", and whatever's comfey. There seemed to be a scare many years ago about underwired bras. Am not sure what it was all about now, whether it was thought that underwired could "cause, or contribute" to breast cancer forming? My initial implant reconstruction with expanders, left me with a 2" band of broken veins, due to the heavy handedness of a trainee surgeon performing the op, which left me literally red raw and visibly shocked her on viewing me for my first post op inspection (I have very delicate skin). So some I can wear, and some I can't, because the pressure can irritate. Good luck with it, flower x x x  ... View more

Typical Me - Mmmm yeh, I so get what you mean about "grieving" for your old life back. Old "self" more like, for that matter, don't you think. Guess its all about trying to accept you're not going to, after such a massive life changing experience, and about finding that new "normal" that's often spoken about in Forum posts. That it's bound to change your outlook on life, but that it can leave you with different strengths, that you may not have had before. It certainly made me a more compassionate human being, which i'm considering a strength.   I was diagnosed as Bi-Polar 3 years ago. I put the cause much down to grief at losing all three of my direct family, the last, my brother, to suicide. Coupled with also having to give up my profession, business, income, home, lifestyle due to occupational health probs, therefore also losing huge purpose and reason to my life. But I don't doubt that another part, was also down to losing both boobs to BC, and it all being within a period of 10 years. So yeh, I desperately grieve, now for also different reasons, the very mentally strong, and together person I used to be, compared to the wreck I now feel. But hence me understanding your grieving.   On a much lighter note (thank god I hear you all say). Wonky - You, sycophant?!! Naaa flower. I just noted your saying about people viewing posts but not posting. Just thought I'd promote your healthy "letting rip" thread. I giggle at your name every time I see it, because it's the punch line to one of my favourite Xmas cracker jokes. Favourite, meaning because it's one of the few I CAN remember:- "What do you call a three legged donkey"??? Oh come on girls, humour me please. Don't encourage me tell more - Ohhh alright then you lot, but only as it's approaching Panto season. "What do frogs wear on their feet"? - Open toed sandals "What do you call a man with a spade in his head"? Doug!! Ha ha And wait, wait . . . . "What do you call a man WITHOUT a spade in his head"? . . . . . Douglas!! (as in Dugless . . . without a spade??!! . . . Oh come on . . . Ho hum, never mind Delly). Too much watching childrens breakfast tv, my juvenile humour's just wasted. I'm slinking off back to my hole now, you lot. xxxxxxxxxxxx ... View more

Hi again Jaybro What's involved in your "quarterly" oncology check then? I'm presuming you had to have chemo, which I didn't, so I don't know these things, hence my interest to ask.  I'm not understanding your husbands attitude? Why isn't as he pleased as you are?!! xxxx ... View more

Bells  (Preferably the whiskey variety xxx) ... View more

Hi girls I guess Oncologists feel an obligation to "warn" of a possible recurrence, but not that it might not, so leaving someone to cope and live with a constant fear that's often difficult to shake off.  I don't get these counsellors you're all mentioning. Yeh, I understand the benefit of distraction methods. Would have thought it better to work on a persons mindset, i.e. changing their thinking to What if "it's not", rather than the constant fear of What if it "is"; and it Might "not" return rather than the It might "do". Given that one of the causes of cancer can be stress, the chemicals it releases can and should never be underestimated, and are a hidden killer. Always thinking What if it "is" and It "might" do, are only likely to increase a persons possibilities of it returning, and at the same time constantly put a damper on you actually living more to the full. So why don't oncologists also say: "BUT it might NOT, so get on with your life anyway", and counsellors work on the same principle?! Have any of you thought of, or tried Hypnotherapy for reducing/anxiety stress, or more positive thinking I'm 12 yrs clear from two mastectomies 2006 and 2007 at 47 and 48, both also treated with full ANC (then standard treatment before the advent of SNB) and caught early enough not to have metastasised, so no chemo for each. Bounced back so well from the first. But the second, just a year later, was even more of a massive shock than the first, it being a totally different unrelated type. Makes you wonder, doesn't it. Did me. That you never know what's going on in your body, and you lose your trust in it. That Cancer thought seed does gradually get pushed further to the back of your mind though, rather than always being at the front of it all the time, and an every day thought. I seldom think about it nowadays, but then I was lucky not to require chemo with either, which must make it all that much more difficult and harder for you to dispel those mental fears. Not to mention the onslaught to your body. I do feel for you all.   I always remain vigilant if anything strange occurs bodily, but not paranoid. My doctor is also extra conscientious, due to my BC history. To the extent, that when I went recently with occasional sharp searing pains under my jaw line, I was just thinking it may be a blocked salivary duct or gland, not anything cancerous! Whereas, he examined my throat, neck and mouth, and said "There aren't any tumours to feel"!! Bless him.  I'm not a fan of people who say "Pull yourself together", unless they've been through cancer (or nasty depression) themselves. But then, I don't think you'd hear it from such people who have. I'd certainly never say it to someone with either.    Go and join Wonky for a good rant on her excellent thread "We Are All So Pleasant and Polite". This Forum's such a great place, invaluable for support, giggles if you're low, shared advice. Keep posting ladies.   Lots of love and healing hugs to everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  ... View more

Yeh Wonky - You let rip girl. I used to hate the Ffffflip word until BC. A good friend of mine said it's "good" for you to swear - what a wise woman. Sorry you've been having such a tough time with it all. How are you doing with Buster? Knitted Knockers get a lot of praise from people, should you need something more light weight.  Annie - Ha ha hee. I chuckled at your smashing jars, you mad woman. Nettie - Annie has the perfect solution for any "bottling" up.   Keep kicking that BC butt girls, or chucking jars and bottles at it. Lotsa lurrrrv to everyone x x x x ... View more