Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi girls   havent been on here for a day or so, had a few password problems bun ok now and i went out to friends barbie yesterday, as weather was so gorgeous wasnt it, consumed fair bit of rose but mostly spiritzers, lol.   Yes Mael it is a bit of a breeze isnt it, i had 20 sessions not quite as many as you and i didnt have any problems with any of them,   Yesterday i was wearing s vest top and my friends and two of them were ones with me during my treatment, said my boobs were definitely bigger, but rads can possibly shrink them, ive heard, could it be the Tamoxifen. has anyone else had similar, Im a 32 c im not sure i want to be 32 d,    Junexx ... View more

Hi mael,   Honestly you might not have much reaction to rads i didnt, just kept creaming as am now and i never really had any side effects during whole 20 sessions, Im feeling a bit guilty as everyone on here seems to have had I must be a tough old bird, And yes i was told not to use deodorant but i used Santex every day, and had no reaction and i had all nodes removed,  I still use it on in left armpit but as i said, for some reason since nodes gone, it rarely seems to sweat much there, and my hairs dont seem to grow much,  i very carefully use a clean wet razor bout every 3 weeks say,thats all i seem to need and i still have to do my other arm 2 or 3 times a week, use my ordinary antiperspirant under that arm.    Hopefully you could be same,  lets hope so,.   The evening out with all the singles went well, 18 females all turned up most of them didnt originate from Norfolk,l few Londoners and one or two left and moved back and found it hard to re intigrate. Couple had partners we met at one of their houses and went to pub,  You remember what i said about Norfolk, lots of the m said found it very insular, they liked it as a place but felt hard for singles, and anyone really as it takes along time to feel a local, if ever,   So i wasnt wrong was i, but if  i tell my friends that and im practcally a local they wont hear of it,  Hmm me thinks they dont want to,.We are hoping to arrange other nights out so sounds hopeful.   Junexx   J ... View more

HI ladies,   Yes i can rememb er seeing notices in hospital sayng free prescription for cancer paitents, i as an over 60 who did get the state pension at 60, sadly and wrongly one of the last, get mine free anyway,  So glad thought they gave that to all pensioners, as someone with a s,mall priivate pension i get a bit fed up with reading "you will get this if on pension credit" Grrr .....i used to work sundays when i worked on directory enquiries to boost my pension, why couldnt all these people on pension credit have saved  for a pension too.they had same chance as me.,i didnt have a partner, i had to support myself,  Im sure some of them have money stashed away in kids or relatives names, so they can get pension credit.  i heard a bloke at bus stop bragging other day he had done it, Makes me mad.  I felt like challenging himlol .   Have let my parking space at my flat today, girl works in city so shes parking here and walking into work, so thats a bit of a little earner,  ive never let it permanently before, people do it, then they get fed up with walk, but its only about 20 25 mins at most, and parking charges in Norwich like most cities cost an arm and leg. Hooe this one dosent get fed up.   Junex     ... View more

Hi jill,   yes i sometime expect too much from them i think but guess sometimes on own you do,  But all in all i couldnt have got through my treatment without them, so cant complain , No that "friend" hardly said a thing about my cancer, i think 3 lines on fb saying sorry to hear about it was about it.  I thought why bother,   Junexx ... View more

HI Jill,   Dont worry about Gorilla armpitslol , the one where i had nodes removed hardly seems to have any hairs on it at ll in fact it rarely neds shaving, Also i didnt like look of pitrock so used Santex. as again i seem hardly to perspire under that arm,  I use Mitcham hugh strengh  under the other as i still do there, So hope you will be as lucky,.  Is this just me or how how were you Dee.  Junexx ... View more

 Hi Jill,   No you are not being unreasonable she shouldnt say things didnt mean.  I know ive said recently some of my friends i now feel not as should be but i will say when i was going through my appointments 3 of them were great i never went through one appointment alone and my evenign rads one of them came with me every time, one works fuul time, one has a child and other works part time.  the friend who works full time worked 2 sat morings so she could come with me to appointments initially and she told me other week, if i need her never think i cant contact her ever,  Maybe ill look at mine differently now.   Junexx ... View more

Hi Dee,   Know you are getting involved at Royal Marsden and we do have a Big C centre at my hospital but to be honest i ve seen enough of hospital, and hearing about cancer, i just want to move on now,  It helps some i know but me no i just dont want to get involved with that sort thing.  it still seems a bit unreal to me as though it never happened, as said thought everything would change after my treatment finished, see more friends, people wwould stop being so childish re things that happened years ago, id get invites to parties, 2 this weekend i didnt, but to be honest, if anything i see less of one of someone i thought was a close friend, she pops up on fb seeing others, but not me,ive seen her about twice since my treatment finished and havent been round hers for weeks, she keeps saying you must come, but when i say tell me when,nothing. She has the BC gene and her mum died of BC so it isnt as though she doesent understand.And i have to say out mutual friend hasn t seen much of her either.,   Thats why i need to meet new people,  Im amazed the number of people who responded to my streetlife message,  Lets hope i meet some new interesting people on thurs,Need to,  Good on you with the dating thing, you are still young enought to meet someone, i  unless i want to be a nursemaid, or am desperate enough for anything,im not,  have to accept that is something i wont be doing.  Where is the idea that men wear better than us, once they hit 60, very few do,and those that do are usually bookedlol Junexx ... View more

Bless you Dawn, what a bummer for you and such a pity you will miss spa trip, hope hols still ok.Seems unbelieveable that they could mess up like this.  Surely they do these ops all the time, think would be a matter of course,    Yes i seem to have snowballed with this needing new friends thing, Loads have popped up on streetlife, saying feel same,  Norwich isnt exactly small,its a city but it does tend to have some small town attitudes sadly.  People tend to stick to people they have known years and families, new people do find it hard to break into circles here, I worked here for years but sadly many of those i worked with seem to have fallen by wayside, not my doing, i will say and now i really only see 3 friends regularly and to be honest havent seen so much  of one of them lately again not my fault,, she keeps texting saying we must meet up but nothing seems to happen  though on facebook shes popping up with others ,Seems  just the friend i dog sit for and another friend i always meet every 2 weeks, I definitely need to meet new people so must try. Junexx ... View more

Hi mael,   Norfolk is a lovely county and Norwich a njce city  but its so small minded, at times, it drives me mad,  Ok im in my 60s, but i dont want to han g around with a load of retirees i like to be friends with all ages, ive always had younger friends, and  im very young for my age cancer hasnt changed that or giving up HRT,But here most people i know expect women of a certain age to behave in a certain way,This "friend" i mentioned her mum isnt much older than me, but is very po faced she spent all night at her wedding sitting down looking miserable and is very religious,perhaps she expects all woman that age to be same,well not me.  No it dosent spoil things if we go to others events, i dont let it, but i never feel comfy with her, always  feel shes judging me   I need to meet new single people so i took bull by horns and mentioned on our local street life site, was there anyone like me, mature, single, no kids friends all wih patners, not much family, Got quite a lot of contacts, and one woman has suggested we all meet at her house one night next week wating for confirmation when. They all seem to be 40s upwards which is what i want so who knows, None of them seem to like social groups, quite a few dont seem to originate from Norfolk, which brings me back to my orginal story how it is here,but they can say what they like about it, dosent bother me im half norfolk and half suffolk, very similarlol, but ill probably agree with them,  lol Junex ... View more

Hi Jill,   Thats the one, it was 3 years ago and ridiculous thing was she got married last dec and i got asked tto reception but not to afternoon tea or weekend at coast hen nights, so that should have told me how it was. I think actually thats why i got asked to the wedding a friend probably did have word with her about that, but nothing else.  I really didnt want to go to reception but was Xmas  all my friends were going, they went all day! and i went thinking it might be the start of being welcomed back into fold., but seems not, You cant believe someone bhaving so childishly? .  Jill my dear this is Norfolk, it dosent surprise me Being single here is like a social disease, you rarely get invites anywhere any way, Being a single mature person in Norfolk is social death. couples socialize with couples, thats how it is,And if join singles groups they are so clicqy you can break into them   I dont know why i thought my cancer would change things but im back the other side and it hasnt. Junexx ... View more

Hi Magical m oon,   I feel bit like you with HRT, i know if probably caused my breast cancer, but it did make me feel great and i miss it.   Im on tamoxifen which is supposed to be better for bones, and i dont feel too bad without HRT but i know im more creaky than i was, i get the night sweats, and i just felt better on it, and like you if i could without the risk id take it again.    June ... View more

Hi Mael.   Yes there are worse things than cancer like Huningdons, and that isnt cureable, a friends husband had it and i saw him get progressovely worse, he was my age, died couple years ago, But somehow cancer seems to still have that stigma dosent. it.   I honestly thought if i ever got it id completely go to pieces but apart from the odd meltdown before i had op i didnt. Once the "lump" had gone i felt calmer and once results back calmer still., Ive reacted quite differently to what i thought i would. Only thing i feel upsets me slightly is that nothing has changed in my life, and for some ridiculous reason i thought it would, I thought friends might want to see me more i donmt seem to see them m ore ,those who had been bit off, like the one who no longer invites me to dos cause of sometnhing stupid i did 3 yrs ago  might start inviting me again, nope shes a a barbi tomorrow and i,m not invited. I spose that just makes me feel do they really care, if they did  they would be more caring, Does that sound stupid, or is it just that we who are without  patners and kids, need more from our friends and we dont always get it. I feel now there must be more to life than this, and somehow i must find it, but i dont know how.  And sometimes i just dont feel included and my singleness makes me stand out like a sore thumb. I always did feel a bit that way but now i seem to feel it more.   June ... View more

Hi All, ]   Interesting you say thats all people want to talk about is your cancer.  Now im the other side, noone hardly mentions mine., My friend who had ovarian and i met for a shop  and  meal out tues and we did talk about it a bit, but then we both had it, but not to any great extent,  The friend i dog sit for asks me how i am a lot and shows concern, but noone else seems to say anything,  Perhaps ive been too perky,and although had the odd tearful moments but l.living alone in a coupled up world i used to get them anyway. Ive sort of compartmentalized what i had, it still sometimes seems like it happened to someone else. IApart from chatting on here, i havent had any desire to join any groups, We have a Big C here in Norfolk but to be honest i did go once to chat and then my friend and i went in  on my first rads and had a coffee but havet been back and dont think will. They are great if yoiu need them but now my treatment is over i find it easier to return to as normal as possible,never be the same, of course,how can you be. but normalish,If i kept going to Big Cs etc its based at out local hospital i think id keep thinking about it too much and to be honest ive seen enough of hospitals.Im back on 21st Aug and thst will be enough,.  Junex  ... View more

Hi Dawn,   Yes i think ;peoples attitude can kin d of make you think.  I told my friend i dog sit for today, i thought after my breast cancer, things would be different, I thought id get included by the off friend i told you about,  and maybe see more of people  She said well you never were a close friend of hers so why should it be and what do you want people to feel sorry for you.everyone rallied round when you were having treatment,  I pointed out no everyone did not rally round, she did,and i dont how id have coped without her and 3 of my other friends,here,  my old friend 30 miles away was coping with her own  ovarian cancer at time,Some people barely acknowledged it,  I said no i certaintly did not want sympathy all the while but i honestly felt id see more of people etc,its all very well inviting you round for  meals, visiting you when think you might be dying, but when you are better youve still had cancer, it could reoccur, you still have to deal with it, but people seem to think no  you are  better thats it, but i still get lonely on my own at weekends when all coupled up and people with familes  do stuff. She said well then do voluntary work, i have no idea why people think voluntary work is answer to eveything for the fed up retired, it certainly isnt for me,.   So no Dawn i dont think really people do understand and we just have to live with it. And suppose as we are single and we probably need friends more than the coupled up, we have to live with how they are,amd have a rant on here to [people who do understand.  I did have meal out last night with my old friend who had ovarian, She always comes over once a month to see me,  She of course has more understanding, but anyway she is one of the kindest, nicest people i kn ow..  Luckily shes doing well too,   Junexx     ... View more

HI Sheena and Mael,   Sure indoor cats fine, but living in a small one bedroomd apartment i dont feel its big enough for any pet, its not always big enough for me, and to be honest, i cant really afford a pet, they cost quite a bit with insurance etc,. so no i wont have one,.  In my old house i lived in with my dad we had 2 b ut one more his than mine wandered off when he went into care, and the other one died, so i didnt have anymore as intended moving to city,  Thought my social life would be too exciting, woulldnt have time for a pet Ever been had,  lol, I had a cat door there but obviously couldnt have that in a flat,  June ... View more

Hi Dawn   Friends do often behave in a strange way when you have cancer, ive had a few odd bits of behaviour myself,  I often think though us on our own maybe expect more of friends than they can give,  I know i do,  Possibly even more than you, cause i dont have kids.Mine were all pretty good through my treatment alhough i felt some kept their distance,  The friend i dog sit for can be a difficult friend at times, but during my diagnosis and treatment she was great, i knew i could always call on her,shes told me know if i need her shes there. Yet weve had fallouts and other week she started ranting at me over nothing really.  Maybe they dont kn ow whar to do, cause one day she burst into tears and said i dont want you to die nor does Alf,thats the dog, I said i wasnt going to and she must not worry i was. Your friends behaviour is totally wrong but maybe if she realy cares about you shes not been able to express it and was scared of losing you,.     When you move i same circles is difficult, and after what weve had we are more vunerable are we not. This sat all my friends have been invited to a barbicue by someone i used to be quite friendly with, but unfortunately after a night out 3 years ago i was sick in her car, i paid a substantial amount for getting it cleaned and apologised but she isnt asking me to this,she hasnt to any do since,  Ive been a bit tearful about it, as i do get pretty low at weekends on my own when everyone is in couples,and did feel after my illness she might have relaxed a bit,  Ive seen her at other things as we move in same circles, but shes always a bit distant,  i suppose ill never come in from cold but to me it seems total overeaction.and nasty,  Its horrible to be left out, your friend should be greatful shes being included at all, you are not exactly leaving her out, Junex ... View more

Hi Jill,   Only problem with that is, im barely 5ft and weight 7 stone so would have to be smallish dogs no bigger than my little charge Alfie,dont think i could cope with a great danelol.  I dont think id want a dog myself, know they are company but they do tie you down,  When my friend was asked last year to be best women to her gay friend in Leeds, and obviously her partner would go to , she had to check first i could stay round for 2 nights, so she could go away, as obviously couldnt have dog staying in hotel and with best woman duties, My social life isnt great but id like to accept any invites i might get without worrying about a dog. I dont know what she woukd do without me, she wouldnt leave him on his own all day, and she is definitely the kind of person who would not want a stranger,eg a dog walker in her house,But i love him and it keeps me in a routine and she takes her leave as days, so i get time off and of course weekends.     Junex ... View more

Hi dee,   Glad polo went well, and such exalted company you are keeping,  if you get invited to a Royal garden party,dont forget to tell him you have friendslol .  Wasl Camilla there,?   Yes like you my boobs look pretty ok, i too had a good surgeon,he was Hungarian and i believe they do have a good reputation. i told him he did a great job, i can hardly see where lump removed, and as said my boobs maybe seem slightly more a 32d although my unwired bras ive been wearig seem tight, my underwired nes seem fine so think ill start wearing them permanently again.   Dentist today, boo hoo, hate scaling, it was worse than anything i had to do with my breast, Nothing wrong but he told me i must brush at back more as my gums inflamed slightly , Must do so, ive good teeth i inherited from my dad, he died at 98 with all intact, so dont want to lose mine. Tomorrow meeting old school friend at Carluccios, no doubt a bottlle of wine will be consumed,  lol or maybe a campari and the odd glass.lol.   Junexx         ... View more

HiSheena,   Not necessarily shriveled my dear, mine actually looks bigger, lol in fact my boobs look great,lol, i was wearing a jump suit slightly low cut when my friend got home from work when sitting doggie, she said "god you are showing your cleavage." i said if youve got it flaunt it, i nearly didnt have it did ilol. Im feeling a need 32 d cups, but ive a load of matching sets, icant really afford to replace my undies wardrobe.! Junex ... View more

Hi Cashie,   Welcome to the site. I was actually like you grade 2 but then 3 as aggressive my first node was suspect so they took them all when i had my lumpdectomy.  My hospital seems to do this, many dont, but i didnt mind, one less place for any rougue cells to lurk i felt.And they came back all were clear, and clear margins so was just rads and tamoxifen,  so 3 doesent always mean chemo if all other nodes clear,They always seem to gibe worst case senario,    June  ... View more