Certainly is Angiepops! I coped really well first time round 6 years ago, but this has steamrollered me. I've read some inspiring stories on this site, and I am very cautious about looking elsewhere, as it's invariably out of date information. I too am very up and down, but I am better than the first dark days before starting treatment. I think that anxiety has given way to sadness now, and I'm starting to dare to look forward a bit. It's awful that your hospital has not been supportive, and I hope you find somewhere else to get what you need. I had some good support from the helpline on this site, very helpful at the beginning when I was all at sea. I'm sure work will be a distraction; I'm really missing my colleagues but not the work! I
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