Breast Cancer Now Forum

I was seething last week when I went to see my manager about phased return - she quoted works phased return policy of 4 weeks, just saw work black and white - irrespective of if what you do and hours worked. Went to see her boss, OH, GP, and spoke to my Union - I think it is sorted. Start next week 22nd June Then one my work colleagues (one I have worked with the longest), he covered my maternity leave 14 years ago - he or his partner have not contacted me over the past 3 months at all - great colleagues/friend, phones over the weekend as he heard I may be coming back. Not to check on how I was. No, but to say that he has been acting head of department in my leave - he quite likes it, and would like to carry on!! I am still seething at his insensitivity and arrogance - I don't think this would happen to a man I was feeling fine, in fact need to go back to work at my own pace to feel more like my normal self - but work place bureaucracy and politics is exhausting I have spent a lot if time at the hospital for appointments, but did not want to go up to my office or my floor. I went on one occasion, and wished I hadn't. There are secretaries who have list loved ones recently, others who have had cancer and chemotherapy. If there us problem it would be them and they need support and counselling to come to term with their own situation, rather than impeding your recovery. It's not your colleagues that are the problem, but your manager for not recognising and addressing that your colleagues need help and support as well We should rise above it keep our dignity. Keep records whilst they are fresh, as they may be helpful in the future. Keep going, it improves the wobblinszz X ... View more

This thread has made me smile, it runs so true Did you realise you were such a 'fantastic' rapper feisty flora What I have learned is that the past 50years are the past, I have had my mind, priorities, and family sharply focused for the future. No more planning for 'when' we retire, 'when' the children grow up, in 5 years time or 10years time. I am going to work to live, and no longer live to work I have stepped forward, and you know what, this cancer has made me stronger and I hope a better person - less quick to judge, I so regret that I did not make time for one the mum's at school who was diagnosed 9 months ago and died recently. She was 42, with children the same age as mine. I am not going to let that happen, using work and other commitments as an excuse I have been bowled over by the support I have had, I did not know I knew so many I have also found who my real colleagues and friends are. Some of which hurts. Like you I have sat in the garden watching the baby birds - have we had more birds this year, I do not recall this previous years Pulling up the weeds, tying back the climbers and just enjoying the sun on my face whilst the girls and husband are at school and work. I have never had the chance to enjoy life at its most simple and beautiful. In anything horrible/terrible seeing the good/positive makes it easier to move on. Have gone on a bit, sorry ... View more

Thank you all for the helpful advice, which all makes so much practical sense. I thought I would be back by now 10 weeks post surgery, still don't have oncotype results (political negotiations) I need to go back to feel normal. Manager said trust policy 4 weeks of phased return, but since then I spoken to executive directors and occupational health and a longer phased return has been agreed I think 3 half days of 3 hrs for 3 weeks, and building up from there, probably will do more admin/management from home Plan exercise/gym at least 3x week Rest in the afternoon i think this is going to take 3-6 months I should not be deciding at this point whether I should renegotiate my contract to sensible sessions, as it may not be the correct decision for me What I do know is that it will help my recovery to go back to work and start feeling normal. You will generally know that is the case, it wasn't the case 2 weeks ago ... View more

Hi Rosie and Kiki I had double mx with recon with strattice and expandable teardrop implants - 11 weeks ago. Both sides have been expanded slowly, although feel uneven, neither has 'dropped', and ans they are as hard as footballs. Tight and uncomfortable to move in bed and although can gently lie on my front, it hurts when I move and take the pressure off. Surgeon says it will settle, takes 6-12months. I cannot imagine that other breast imp,ants are as hard and uncomfortable I would like to speak to some ladies who hace had this a year ago On the positive - am better, scars healed, coping with diagnosis. Is this a sign of getting better that one now 'moans' about the appearance, feel and discomfort of the reconstruction, when previously just getting rid of the cancer was all important? Xx ... View more

Best decision I made, had WLE for grade 2/3 invasive BC, but no clear margins full of high grade DCIS, therefore needed 2nd WLE - opted for mastectomy, as the DCIS and BC was not visible on mammo, didn't trust what was going on in the other breast Made the surgeon do a sentinel node biopsy on the risk reducing side at the op as well, as did not want any more surprises Happily node negative, the recon is getting there, but decision for bilat mx for certainly right one for me N x ... View more

I was catching up on this thread, Super mum - how long did it take for the strattice to start softening and the implants to 'drop'? I am 6 weeks post bilat mx and reconstruction with strattice. Still have temperatures - probably related to however the mesh is made , mesh feels very hard and bony, chest still very tight But the pain is better, can lie partially on my front, which felt like heaven, and thinking about joining a gym to get fit again Progress but slow Happy healing, if you look back things are improving N xx ... View more

It sounds as if you should be having both sides, it's probably also better for the surgeon in terms of matching both breasts. I had bilat mx and recons as I felt it was better to get rid if the risk, but also the surgeon felt that he would be match the sizes and shape better. For me it was the right decision Because of the time needed for the surgery - I was told it would be about 8hours, he had another colleague with him, so that halved the op time to 41/2 hrs, which was much better I don't know about work, on a good day think it should be fine in 4weeks, on a bad day wonder what was I thinking . I'll see N x ... View more

I am glad you have a date, the goldilocks procedure sounds like a good option, but needs a good experienced surgeon. Are they planning both sides or just the one? I am doing ok, now 6 weeks post surgery, physically better, still have lymphoedema, and temps, emotionally up and down. Still don't know about chemo Taking another 4 weeks off, then planning slow phased return to work Good luck next week with your appointment, let me know how you get on N xx ... View more

Hi Karen I was wondering how your getting on? Hope all going well N xx ... View more

I'll be 6 weeks this Friday. I had those tear drop implants that have silicone on the outside and then get inflated over a few months to get symmetry. After the first op WLE I walked to the hospital (just over a mile) for my follow up 5 days later - I felt so well. I couldn't do half that distance at present. It will get better, just have to be patient. Your doing well working in the morning, and walking those distances in under 3 months. I've extended my sick leave for another 4 weeks N x ... View more

My spelling and grammar is terrible Inflations not inflictions😯 ... View more

Kiki, what you said is so true. I don't want to go out, just want to be in my 'bubble' at home. dropped my daughter off for her french trip yesterday. I did not want to talk to the other parents - the world outside seems overwhelming. Probably just going through the emotional roller coaster My boobs are so hard, still tender around the strattice, they feel like plasticine which leaves a dent where you press. Repeat scan shows no fluid, surgeon says normal - due to the lymphatic being disrupted in the skin. Also have had 2 inflictions - makes your chest feel stiff and tight. I cannot imagine that they will ever get to the point of anything like normal softness. How are you getting on - does anything of this sound familiar? N x ... View more

There is baby brain - proven, chemo brain - well recognised, I think there is also 'cancer brain' from the going through the diagnosis and treatment all of which is life changing. I've not yet had my chemo, but already I find it really difficult to think clearly, or remember what would ordinarily be easy - started writing lists I don't know if the memory improves - but it will be about finding strategies to compensate and work round😕 ... View more

I had 2 really good days, and thought I could think of going back to 1 non clinical session - been exhausted for the rest if the week I think you are all right, need to take my time!, and take it slower ... View more

Thank you lexicon. Very helpful advice N x ... View more

I was told by my surgeon that the sample would be sent for oncotype as it has been approved 1st April, op was 3rd April, Now told that the funding is not yet finalised, therefore have to wait, have others found the same I come in the indeterminate group for chemo. Mentally I've decided that I will not need chemo, will start the roller coaster all over again ... View more

I get the feeling that the surgeons do not want to recognise or admit that the there can be allergic reactions to these matrices I have tear drop anatomical implants with silicone on the outside with saline expander ports under the arms. The ports are uncomfortable, can't bring my elbows in fully. Do your breasts feel virtually solid, how long does it take to soften and does it ever feel natural. Feel like two grapefruit halves stuck to chest, no cleavage Hey ho - better than the alternative I have an automatic, therefore easier to drive ... View more

Hi, I am 4 weeks post bilat mx, sentinel nodes, immediate recon with strattice and silicon expandable implants. Pain and stiffness has been the main problem, not able to lie in sides, reach across or up - seems to have turned the corner this week with pain, but still tight around chest The strattice feels very hard almost bony, tender with red patches with different part coming up on different days Also have had a temp of 38.5 - 37.5 for past 3 weeks, investigated at the breast unit with no cause found Surgeon says allergy or reaction to strattice is unlikely - but I think this is the cause, as it appears to me settling . Has anyone else had any experience of this? Have only just started driving, short distances Ups and down - physically improving, emotionally it is less predictable ... View more