Breast Cancer Now Forum

Abby63 · ‎15-06-2015

Thank you all, you are amazing. Wish you all a peaceful night and good pozitive energy always. XXXX

Abby63 · ‎15-06-2015

Thank you CatoKitty for your reassurance. I guess it's not too long until I will find out what type of surgery i will have as I 'm going to see my surgeon on Wednesday. But then will be again stressful... who knows how long before the actual surgery... I wish I had it done and get rid of the stress...to be over it... I have to wait and hope for the best but can't help it, I' still think of all possible scenarios. It is a waiting game. Waiting for the biopsy results, then when that is over is waiting for the surgery, then waiting for results again, then waiting for further treatment so it's just to try to live between two appointments. In any case what is the worst thing is that no matter how much you try, life is not going to be the same anymore. I guess, what they say about living a new normality, is about no matter what, we all need to learn to live every day at the full, to tell the important people in our lives more often how much they mean to us and enjoy the small things and never take things for granted. I think it is in fact a chance to learn to appreciate life more.

Abby63 · ‎15-06-2015

Hi all, I'm a newbie ...I'm a 51 nurse... but here I am a frightened newly diagnosed breast cancer patient. Diagnosis confirmed with hystology results on 11.06.2015: R breast grade 2 ductal carcinoma aprox 1.8 cm with high grade DCIS, no staging at present. Awaiting to see the surgeon on Wednesday and decide exactly what type of surgery I'm going for. Feeling frustrated, scared, shocked, anxious (like everybody else) and feels like life stopped and is on standby. I hope it will restart again when everything is done and dusted. I am usually a fighter as I've been all my life and act stronger outside but I do feel shakey inside. I can relate to all your posts... the shock, everything feels surreal, it is like an out of body experience and does not seem to be happening to me... It is great to have the chance to speak to other people in same situation. I am lucky as I have a great support from my family, friends and colleagues at work but there are so many things you can't talk to family about... I am at present waiting to see the surgeon and don't really know what procedure I could choose. Did you have a chance to choose between lumpectomy and mastectomy or it was just said what you should have? I am overweight and had a heart attach 5 years ago, never had a general anesthetic before. I would prefer to have mastectomy for my peace of mind but I am not sure this would be possible under the circumstances. Did any of you here had a choice in picking mastectomy or lumpectomy? I dread having another intervention if the margins remain positive... I have read all your posts and I find all of you so brave and inspirational. It is not the best club to join but the members are brilliant... Best wishes to everyone!

Abby63 · ‎14-06-2015

Hi everyone, I am new here and had no idea few weeks ago that I will be posting on a cancer forum as a patient. Well... you know yourself as well as I do... things like this happen... First mammogram ever , part of the national screening program , then a second mammogram then the ultrasound then one, two, three... , loads of biopsies (12 cores and vacuum aspiration) The diagnosis was recently (4 days ago) confirmed as being grade 2 invasive ductal cancer of aprox 1.8 cm with high grade DCIS. Fortunately ER+ve. So, this is the technical stuff, medical terms... I am a nurse and a cancer nurse specialist . Does that makes things easier ?! No, not really as you realize no matter how much you know in fact you get through the same anxiety, frustration as everyone else. It is surreal to have stepped over the fence and experience everything as a patient myself. So different...so overwhelming and in a strange way- a unique chance to experience things and learn them from the inside... I knew once the biopsies were done , something was not right, even if I have never felt any lumps or bumps. So I've told my children and my partner even before the official disclosure of the results. There were many tears involved. I am blessed with an extremely supportive family, friends and work colleagues. I know they all mean well trying to comfort me and I don't want to act ungrateful but all I want is them to behave normal and look after themselves more then of me. I want my life back. I will fight to have my life back... but I know, nothing will be the same as before. At present I am waiting to see the surgeon next week, to decide of the type of surgery I will have, to present me the pros and cons... I know from the brilliant breast nurse specialist that the intention is to give me a conservative surgery , followed by radiotherapy , maybe more after they know the results once the lymphnodes are analysed... I wish I have a total mastectomy and get rid of the enemy(I know they say, the chances of reaccurance are about the same as with lumpectomy...) and don't know if this is possible due to a heart attack I had 5 years ago. I want life to continue like nothing ever happen but I am well aware that cannot be the same anymore. I have read the posts before mine and I find all of you so brave. Compared to you all I am scared and anxious. I act brave in front of the dear ones but inside I am shaking... I am scared of this fight and I am not a brave fighter, but I have to win this battle . I have so much yet to achieve, I haven't even hold my grandchildren yet... Good luck to everyone and hope you will accept me into your group. I promise not to pester you with my long posts... XX Gabriela

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