Breast Cancer Now Forum

Hi I had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy in the summer of 2014 and started tamoxifen in the September. I went to my GP in February last year because of abdo pain mid cycle thinking I'd got ovarian cysts. I did have some cysts but also had irregular endometrial thickening. I was referred to a gynaecologist who did biopsies which showed atypical hyperplasia. Whilst I was told this was pre - cancerous cells it wasn't very reassuring. She wanted me to have a mirena coil fitted but I wasn't keen due the hormones and the possibility of it progressing. More biopsies (which did show progression) and months of anguish later I had a hysterectomy just before Christmas. I went through hell last year with this threat of more cancer as well as the worry of the breast cancer recurring. I wish I had insisted on a hysterectomy at the beginning - the consultant didn't understand my fear of it becoming cancerous and having to deal with it all over again. I am still waiting for the histology results and am extremely anxious even though the probability is that it will be ok. I had only been taking tamoxifen for a couple of months before I started having problems but my oncologist has recommended I keep taking it as it is the drug of choice from the breast cancer point of view. Endometrial thickening is not necessarily cancerous but I would suggest a hysterectomy anyway as it removes the possibility of it becoming cancerous. I completely understand your worries about having to cope with another cancer so soon, or at anytime actually, it's bad enough once isn't it? I really hope the biopsies are ok, my heart goes out to you x ... View more

I went to bed last night feeling both terrible and sort of relieved. Terrible because of how much this **bleep**ty disease affects our lives both during and after treatment, and relieved in a way when I hear that other people feel the same way. I haven't had counselling yet (appt is 20th Jan) and in some ways I'm dreading it as I too think I might spend the whole session crying. I'm hoping the counsellor will be used to that though! It will force me to talk about my feelings, fears etc to someone not close to me who won't judge me (I hope) on how cancer has affected me and my decisions. My problem has been that I didn't want to burden those close to me any more and didn't want to appear weak to others. We keep being told to stay strong but I certainly couldn't do that all the time. I put on a brave face and tell people I'm ok when inside I'm a wreck. I think we should be told it's ok to NOT cope at any point in this "journey", from right at the beginning to any point in our futures, and maybe then I wouldn't feel so guilty when I have a bad day. Part of my problem I think is the guilt because I recovered quite well physically from the op and treatment, went back to work and tried to forget it had ever happened. This seemed to be working for a few months until I had the tamoxifen side effects causing 10 months of anxiety thinking I'd got cancer again. Even though the dr has said it was pre cancerous cells until I have the results following my hysterectomy I can't rest. The fear of it coming back will be with me forever which scares me. Hope the counselling will help me deal with that too. My heart goes out to you all and just want to give everyone comfort and hugs to make us feel better even if for only a short moment. ... View more

Thanks pandorra1! Does anyone else feel that cancer has made them into 2 different people- the one with cancer and the one without (or the one who pretends everything is ok)? I feel like I've been almost living 2 separate lives this last year and cancer has totally messed with my head. I didn't realise this was happening till it reached crisis point in December by which time it was too late. Really wish I had been stronger and insisted on being referred for counselling but it's very hard to admit that you need help, well I find it hard even to family and friends. When you've been the one looking after others both at work and at home it's difficult to ask for help and I hate to put on people even though they probably wouldn't have seen it like that. So I carried on my 2 lives and am now trying to live with the consequences. My husband doesn't really understand how much the cancer has affected me but that's not his fault as I kept it all bottled up. Don't know where to go from here - anyone got any suggestions? ... View more

I realise this is a late reply but I'm new to this. I would just like to say to people who think they aren't coping but put on a brave face, don't, or you might end up like me. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2014, had lumpectomy and radiotherapy. I asked to be referred for counselling after I had finished treatment but was made to feel I wasn't bad enough and didn't need it. After 3 months of taking tamoxifen I started with problems which after 10 months of scans, biopsies and consultations ended in a hysterectomy just before Christmas 2015. I haven't coped at all well with this fear of cancer for a second time but I'm not one for talking even though I have a brilliant husband and family to support me. I have put on a brave face and pretended everything is ok whilst the cancer has been getting to me to such an extent that I have made some bad decisions and put my marriage in jeopardy. I and my family are now suffering the consequences of my not talking. I have this week tried to organise counselling but still waiting for appointments. So my message to anyone out there is please please please don't bottle things up and pretend you are coping. Learn from my mistake and talk to someone before it's too late. ... View more