Is it possible to go to a different onco? My last one was like yours - the word dour covers his entire range of emotions. My new onco is energetic, positive and constantly questioning and following up - I feel like she's got my back. She's still realistic and practical, but she hasn't got me in a constant state of dread...
Also I don’t think there is anything they’re not telling you. They have to tell you everything. I once asked a man who’d done my PET scan if it was bad as he looked worried. He said he hadn’t even seen it but he was upset about something at home. Cancer makes us super sensitive x
I like my oncologists a lot and they are kind but they are very cautious. The surgeons are very different. They were considering doing surgery even though I have secondaries. They’re not now but when I saw the team they were much more positive. I suppose it’s hard to get the balance right. I feel that if scan results are encouraging we should feel happy x
Hello Ann, thank you for taking the time to reply, I appreciate your comments, I think you may be right about the “team culture”, I imagine that the things that they are dealing with perhaps gets them down a bit too, they are only human I suppose! I am grateful for my treatment and feel lucky in that respect, so will pull myself together. Thank you for listening to my rant 🙂
It’s probably more to with a certain culture of team behaviour that’s taken hold a bit & you’re in the middle of it. Do you know if others feel the same way?
It doesn’t sound like the onc has the best bedside manner, but it sounds like things are fine, so maybe try not to read too much into it - not easy though, especially if it’s affecting your mood, which you can certainly do without.
It might be worth feeding this back to the team, your local PALS could help.
Just need a bit of a vent, I hope that’s ok...... I wonder if anyone else has similar feelings. It came back last year, but was removed and CT normal. They didn’t seem to know exactly what to do but decided to put me on Palbociclib. I know I’m incredibly lucky to have this treatment available. CT still normal last month. But oncologist so dour. Maybe they have to like that. All the staff seem to be the same. Is there something they aren’t telling me, I wanted to shout out loud that the scan was ok, but no one seems particularly pleased. I feel ok but the all the questions they ask me about how I feel all the time makes me feel like I’m on my last legs. I go there optimistically but come away feeling crap. Sorry to go on, it just worries me, I am always worried 😕