Mum trying to cope with 33 year old daughter's stage 4 cancer

[kilimanjaro]

Polly 2,

I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter in S.Africa.

Although I can't relate to having a young daughter diagnosed with metastic breast cancer living so far away, I know South Africa well and South Africans.

I have found South Africans to be warm and generous with their time and hopefully your daughter has many friends in S.Africa, who will be able to help the 2 of you and your son-in-law.

In the past, I have had treatment in S.Africa, although not for breast cancer, and I've found the private health care efficient and First World, unlike other countries in Africa.

Obviously, it won't be easy for you going to S.Africa, leaving your husband and support network in the U.K. However, daily chores - cleaning the house, cooking etc - should not be a distraction because most people in S.Africa have paid help in the house. Therefore, you will be able to focus on your daughter's health and your 3 year-old grandchild.

The next few months will be hard , for all sorts of reasons, but you are doing the right thing by going to S.Africa.

I will be thinking of you. x

[Lucy_BCC]

Hi Polly and welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure the support will continue to be a big help

Please also feel free to call our helpliners for practical and emotional support as they are on hand for families too, lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2 on 0808 800 6000

Take care
Lucy BCC

[Polly2]

Thank you Ruby, big hugs and kind messages always help.
Love Polly x

[Ruby1]

Oh Polly,

I'm so sorry to hear this.  I can't help you but just wanted to come here to give you a gentle hug and hope somebody will come along who may be in a similar situation to you.  

Big hugs

Ruby x

[Polly2]

Hi,
A year ago my daughter, then age 32 was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. We have battled through this last year but last week were told she has a new shadow in her liver. This is hard enough to bear, but to add to my stress she also lives on the other side of the world in Durban, South Africa.
I can't put into words how I feel right now, but if you are going through anything similar you will know and understand.
I am going to go out to her and be there to support her, her husband and their 3 year old daughter through intense chemo followed by a liver op. I will be there at least 3 to 4 months, longer if that she needs.
This is tough.....so tough!! Not only am I coping with her illness and prognosis, I will have to totally give up my life and be there without my husband ( 2nd marriage - not her father), friends or support network.
I know no-one will have the same distance problem as me, but if you can relate in any way to the feelings that go with having a daughter diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer then please get in touch, maybe we can all gain strength in numbers?
Thanks