I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter in S.Africa.
Although I can't relate to having a young daughter diagnosed with metastic breast cancer living so far away, I know South Africa well and South Africans.
I have found South Africans to be warm and generous with their time and hopefully your daughter has many friends in S.Africa, who will be able to help the 2 of you and your son-in-law.
In the past, I have had treatment in S.Africa, although not for breast cancer, and I've found the private health care efficient and First World, unlike other countries in Africa.
Obviously, it won't be easy for you going to S.Africa, leaving your husband and support network in the U.K. However, daily chores - cleaning the house, cooking etc - should not be a distraction because most people in S.Africa have paid help in the house. Therefore, you will be able to focus on your daughter's health and your 3 year-old grandchild.
The next few months will be hard , for all sorts of reasons, but you are doing the right thing by going to S.Africa.
I will be thinking of you. x
I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't help you but just wanted to come here to give you a gentle hug and hope somebody will come along who may be in a similar situation to you.