I am new to this group and at the early stages of shock, grief and anger, as are you.
You’ve been through surgery, which in itself is a big thing to cope with, and now you are looking down this dark tunnel.
Who wouldn’t be in tears.
My advice would be to allow yourself those weepy days with no guilt attached. You will feel better.
We ask so much of ourselves, but it’s ok not to be ok.
I’m feeling better now I know the plan going forward, although frightened of what’s coming. I hope you settle after your consultation, but let yourself have those weepy days. And keep in touch on the forum.