Hi,
A year ago next week I found the lump. I had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy and now on tamoxifen. I’ve been incredibly lucky, it could’ve been a lot worse - stage 1, grade 2 hormone positive. Boob feels unpleasant, tamoxifen side effects have settled for now and are bearable. Waiting to find out when my first annual check will be.
When I was diagnosed it was like my brain exploded. Here’s the interesting twist - on the back of my operation I reconnected with an old flame and we are head over heels and looking forward to a life together. Obviously when I think about that I sensibly think this may be short lived because the cancer may return - but I’m so lucky to have him right now. Life is complicated because I’m very unhappily living with my ex - stuck together out of financial necessity for the last few years to support our child. This gets me down but there is a way out - it is just a year or more off at the moment.
I’m also struggling with being unhappy at work, but too scared to leave because I need the financial benefits in the event the cancer did return.
So I have had a lot on, aside from the cancer - positive and negative.
I was wondering if anyone can relate to not knowing quite where their brain is at anymore? I’m usually very together and I’m good at coping with things. But it never got the chance to regroup after diagnosis because of falling in love and then home going tits(!) up on the back of this. I can’t separate out these three big things - and the inevitable concern about the possible return of the cancer and the looming first annual review.
Did anyone else feel like their brain exploded at the point of diagnosis and actually manage to get it functioning again? I’ve thought about the moving forward course.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and I hope your journey is being as kind as it can be to you.
Xx