Well the day has almost arrived… this time last week I was saying I just want it started - today and yesterday I am not so sure - I am very very scared.
Had a v bad day yesterday - v irritable, tearful, ‘down’, scared etc etc. Having someone telling you to ‘snap out of it’ did not help!!! If I could I would as I am sure we all hate feeling that way - but theres absolutely nothing we can do about it!!.
Rant over, today I am going to go bowling with my daughter and my partner then go for a nice lunch. Daughter will then go to her dads and it will probably be panic stations again after that!!
Dont spose its worth asking how I get over this cos I suspect the only way forward is actually getting tomorrow over and done with.
Best wishes and hugs to all you others out there
Fiona
xxxxx
Just to send best wishes for tomorrow. We all felt the same. The first time and fear of the unknown is the worst part. Enjoy your day today. Let us know how you get on.
Take care and best wishes.
Love
Thistle
Thank you Thistle
God I just want to scream and hit someone or something - is this just me or does everyone feel this way too??? - Need to find a punchbag!!! - and I am not a violent person!!! 
Fiona
Oh Fiona. How familiar this sounds. I had my 1st FEC on Fri 20th July and the day b4 I was a mess. I have held it all together quite well since my dx, but the pre-chemo thing just made me lose the plot. It was like admitting it was really happening i guess.
My fears were unfounded. The chemo day unit was lovely, really busy and noisy. I thought it would be all quiet and morbid. My nurse was just fab and realy funny. She, my husband and I had quite a laugh. I thought looking at all the syringes of drugs with my name on them that I would keel over or something as she pushed them through - nothing happened - I felt fine. The catheter in my hand felt like it was hardly there - no worries. Felt normal all afternoon and evening. Spent all weekend in bed really and was back to norml by Mon night. I think I was quite lucky though as some others have ‘lost’ a week.
The hardest part is that no-one can tell you how your body will react nd how much down tim you will need. But please trust me when I say you will feel better psycholgically as you are starting your zapping!!!
Take care - good luck and let us know how you get on.
Ali
x
Ali - thank you
I am sure what I am feeling is exactly the same as everyone else - still a difficult thing to get the old head around tho eh?
Did anyone have a few drinks the night before to help them relax or is better to steer well clear?
Love
Fiona
Hello Fiona
I was terrified before I started my chemo too. But everyone in the chemo unit was really nice. I had a lovely chat to the nurse who was looking after me. They explained everything very well and I started to feel better psychologically because I was actually doing something positive about the cancer.
They should give you some medication to take home with you - take it when they say as it really does help.
Good luck and take care.
Anthi x
No I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol all week b4 the chemo (although I felt lik I needed one!). I was paranoid bout being the most healthy I could be. So i went to the gym, ate loads of veggies and berries and drank green tea. Now anyone who knows me would say that is weird behaviour for me!!!
This weekend I have had a few sherbets, in fact both Fri and Sat night the wine has re-appeared!!! Oh dear.
Take care
Love and hugs
Ali
Hi Fiona
Yes I did indeed have a good few wines the day before (and after!) Go with what relaxes you. Like the others and you I was terrified, but also found the place cheerful, the nurses lovely and friendly, and indeed the other victims. The worst bit was the hanging around the first time. It got quicker the second time as you can get your bloods done the day before and don’ t have so long to wait for the real thing to arrive. It doesn’t hurt and so far I have kept really well, apart from the baldness of course, which is hard to take initially. I had my second of 6 last Thursday so am now one third through, which makes you feel something is happening to fight back at this thing. You will be fne. If a big baby like me can do it, so can you!
Much love and good luck
Dilys
Hi Fiona,
Wasn’t sure what time your appointment was, I am thinking of you. Hope it goes ok - if you feel up to it please let us know.
I start tomorrow and can mirror your feelings, last week it was a bad week but today I am feeling sick with worry, can’t concentrate on anything. Just want to cry - even had a cry at MTV (played a sad song - honest). Hope I don’t just sit and cry tomorrow - will feel even more pathetic.
Question - am I allowed to drink alcohol through the treatment (not at the same time - after)? Am I allowed to have a drink tonight? I ask cos I saw Dilys had wine??? Please let me know. Will put a bottle in the fridge just in case.
Sending lol to all of you,
Tracy xx
Hi Fiona,
I wish I had logged on sooner then I would’ve been able to wish you luck for today! I really hope you got on ok and it wasn’t anywhere near as scary as you thought it would be.
I had my first chemo (I’m on E-CMF) on in May and I was terrified! It was just a fear of the unknown I think. Anyway, I got on just fine and I really hope you have too. I’m sure you have!
Take care and please let us know how you are,
Kelly
-x-
P.S. Tracy,
I usually have a couple of blue wkd’s the night before chemo and I remember doing this before my first one too, calm the old nerves! You can’t drink for the first 48 hours after chemo but after that I was told by my onc its pretty much up to me! I don’t usually feel like a drink until at least a week after treatment anyway to be honest. I’ve never got drunk on chemo (well, not so far anyway! There’s a long way to go yet!) but I do enjoy a nice drink or two.
FYI, my fav tipple (pre-chemo) was cider and wine (all kinds!), but as soon as I started Epi my taste buds totally changed and I can’t stand it now!! Worse luck!!! For some strange reason I now like alco-pops (particularly blue wkd which I never really like before!) and bucks fizz!! Chemo has a weird sense of humour!!!
Kelly
-x-
Hi Fiona,
Sorry I’ve missed this, I hope you got on OK. Congrats for getting the first one out of the way, it’s always the worst.
Take care
Carole
Hi All
Thank you all so much for your good wishes - its great to feel so supported from others who have been through it and are going through the same thing.
Was very tearful yesterday morning on way to hospital etc. After that I had to keep laughing - it was either that or rage at people!!! The organisation and support I got yesterday was pretty farcicle really (if thats how it is spelled??) If I didnt have my best friend with me it would have been horrendous.
Anyway, thats my first AC done. I used the cold cap - was on verge of giving up after 45 mins but managed to persevere and ‘do my time’ so watch this space as to whether it works or not!! - At least I have tried.
Felt ok during and after but by 930 last night the nausea started (despite all the drugs!) so had a sleepless horrible night - it was not pleasant but feel a bit brighter this morning. Will just have to take each day as it comes and see how I feel. Gonna have a restful day today.
Thinking of you all and sending love and hugs
Fiona
Hi Fiona,
at least thats one down eh!? I’m sorry to hear it was a bit of a farce yesterday for one reason or another, what a shame. At least you maintained your sense of humour though eh, and fingers crossed that was a one-off (the farce I mean, not your sense of humour! LOL).
Good on 'ya for sticking with the cold cap. I never fancied it myself, only cause I like to get in and out as quickly as poss! I hope it works for you.
I’m pleased to hear you feel much brighter today, despite a horrid night. I hope you are enjoying your restful day. I never go out the day after my chemo, not sure why, but I never have done. I prefer to just stay in and chill, thank god for sky and the internet!!
I hope your sickness and nausea is better today. Do you have any ‘travel bands’ at all? I swear by them! So far they have seen me through 4 x Epi and 1 full cycle of CMF. They are a life saver, particularly at night a few days post chemo.
Take care and keep in touch,
Kelly
-x-
Hi Kelly
I have seen other people talking about the benefits of the travel band - I spoke to my local pharmacy and they didnt seem that enthused!! - For all the cost it will be worth a try for the next one by the sounds of it.
I had to go out to Asda today just for a couple of things but that has been it!! Such a shame cos it is one of the few nice, warm sunny days and would be lovely for a walk - but think if I walked anywhere I might just get stuck and unable to come back - how funny would that be?
As you say - thank god for sky altho getting fed up of that already!!
You take care too and all the best for your continuing treatment
Fiona
xx
Hi Fiona,
Well done for getting through it, sorry that it sounded a bit of a nightmare, hopefully next time will be easier, a lot of hanging around isn’t it?
Good on you for perservering with the cold cap, I’m trying that as well. I had my second cycle of FEC on Tuesday and so far I’ve still got all my hair, it is coming out more than normal but my hubby says you can hardly notice so I’m going to keep trying it, it’s worth a go eh?
Take it easy, hope you feel better very soon.
Carole
Hi Carole
I went in yesterday with an open mind about the cold cap and it wastnt till speaking to a couple of folk when they said they had definately seen it work with the drugs I am getting (AC) so definately worth a go!! I have got quite a thick head of hair so I spose even if it thins a bit it might not be noticeable?
Just had a phone call from the breast nurse and she is coming out to see me this week to discuss all the problems from yesterday - see what happens?
Take care for now
Away for a lay down I think
Fiona
x
Hi Fiona,
Yes I’ve got thick hair as well which must have something to do with it.
That’s good that the BC nurse is coming to see you, they really do try and help you as much as possible and she would be concerned that yesterday was difficult and frustrating for you.
Take care
Carole
Hi Fiona,
I hope you are feeling ok today and aren’t doing too much. Its great that your bc nurse is coming out to see you this week, hopefully she will be really helpful and will make sure that farce does not happen again.
I would defo get some travel bands, I got mine for £7.99 from Boots. Since I started using them I noticed there has been loads of stuff in the papers singing their praises for people undergoing chemo for bc. They have been my saviour when I didn’t want to take anymore pills,
Take care and enjoy the sunshine!
Kelly
-x-
Princess
Sunshine…what sunshine??? Its peeing down here!!!
Will get the bands today or tomorrow I think - altho not feeling to sicky today - just no appetite and horrible taste in mouth - just feeling completely washed out - but it could be a lot worse!!!
Take care
Fiona