1 year on

hi all

not been on here for ages, just living life to the full. moved house  busy sorting garden. i am due my first check up on 29th september. had my op on 7th sept last year, results were clear no nodes involved, put on tamoxifen for 5 years. my year has been up and down, very tired due to not sleeping at night re hot flushes. boob still very hard, any ex that i have to lie on my front is painful. sex life is pretty minimum, no interest at all.  it was great before the cancer. as im getting nearer to check im getting more anxious. also my mum has been diagnosed with cancer of the womb, she goes in for op on 23rd august. any slight difference in my boob i become obsessed, its back. any cold/cough i get that goes on for weeks, i panic. is this normal xx

Hi Barb

so sorry you are feeling low

i think your reaction is perfectly normal! It would probably be not normal after all you have been through not to worry about any ache and pain.

as for your mum that is rotten for you and her but I am sure you will both feel better about it once she gets her surgery out of the way. And you will manage between you, whatever treatment plan she has

i think the more hidden  part of breast cancer and the aftermath is the worst bit because those around you take your recovery for granted after a while and life goes on.

my husband knows my sleep is terrible due to night sweats but thinks I have more hours sleep ( albeit  broken) than I do. The harder I try to be normal the more he and my kids assume!

i think a lot of us skirt around the sex issue. Quite often the tiredness just comes from nowhere and sometimes I find myself looking down at my surgery and it just takes the shine off the moment. If my husband has no interest in sex one day I get paranoid that he finds me less attractive! If he says he’s tired I panic that he might have something wrong with him. 

so I think that’s the legacy of BC. We just have to do the best we can, use the resources we have and just try and be honest with our loved ones if we are struggling with the ups and downs.

you sound like you have done all this( omg moving house!!) it will just be the check up and your mum throwing you off balance.



Hi Barb, sorry you are having a tough time. You are right, we are bound to remain anxious as its always at the back of our mind. I’m 18 months on but was very stressed around the time of my annual mammogram in January! I think it is the tamoxifen that affects our sex drive! Xx

Hi all,

Yes, we British do not really like talking about the more intimate challenges, which we may face, due to our treatment.

Firstly - there is a Private Group, which you may wish to join - forum.breastcancercare.org.uk/t5/Sex-and-relationships-private/gp-p/Sexrelationship and it may be you can get some support there.

We do need to remember that all of the posts on the open forum are in the public domain!

Yes, hormone treatment can have an affect on our sex drive - it is not so for everyone, but for many.

Sometimes, we may also forget that our partners are affected by our diagnosis, too. Although they do not have to face the rigours of treatment, they will have seen us go through it - not really being able to help us, however much they would have liked to. This can have an effect on them, as in their way, they will have felt utterly helpless, too.  

Our partners may feel unsure, may fear they may hurt us, our operation site and do not really know how to deal with the more intimate part of our lives post diagnosis and treatment. 

It may be an idea to see, whether there is any counselling available - as getting all of your and their thoughts out into the open - could be a way to find a way to re-establish the connection we so need.

A lot of us will struggle with body image - especially in a word, which is ruled by it. We ought to remind ourselves - beauty is in the eye of the beholder - what we might find challenging - our partner might actually not!

On a more practical note - please discuss with your GP a regular prescription of a product, such as 

hyalofemme.co.uk/ - this is a product safe for us to use. The sooner we start using it or another similar product, which is safe for us, the more likely we are, at least physically, be able to function more normally.


Sue xxx



Hi Barb
I was diagnosed about the same time recently had my check up all OK ?
It’s been a strange year with lots of ups & downs but finally feeling more like myself
Hope your check up was OK
Di xx

Such amazing news Didi! Well done, you are a strong women, what we need to be sure of is that people keep checking, more people need to be aware of how, and how often to check! I got all my friends and family to get this free TLC (Touch, Look, Check guide) and I really think it should be out there more! Its here:



Janet xoxox