Hey, coming up to my 10 year anniversary but all sorts of things are triggering me. Thought it would be a time of celebration but my best friend who had BC about 18months before me was diagnosed with secondary in bones and liver last year. I am devastated and feel completely different about my own prognosis. Trying to stay positive but feel shaken to my core plus I love her sooo much.
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I’m so sorry. This is devastating to hear for all of us. Unfortunately though it’s the nature of the disease. We all have a great probability of being cured as long as we aren’t diagnosed immediately at stage 4. But we can’t know we’re cured until we die at old age from something besides breast cancer. So if you don’t feel like cerebrating, don’t. Personally I’m of the opinion that we are entitled to feel anything we want in regards to cancer. But also don’t believe that because she had a distant recurrence you will. Chances are that your cancer was different from her’s in pretty significant ways. They are finding out now that even if your cancer wasn’t different (which it was) our bodies are different and that even affects how the cancer spreads. There’s no way to predict anything but 10 years past diagnosis is objectively fantastic. Sure you don’t have to celebrate it. But it’s still great.
In regards to your friend, I imagine you will be there with her every step of the way. There is to be expected some mourning and grief. But she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Stage 4 cancer can now be managed in many cases for years. There is someone I found on-line that is in hospice that has only been at her stage 4 diagnosis for a year. Why do I mention that? Because it caught my attention because it’s unusual now. Most people I see on-line with stage 4 have been there for years. There’s some people that have been there for years that are only on their first line of treatments. It gives me a great deal of hope actually. I am hoping that in a decade we have a possible cure for all breast cancer stage 4 diagnoses and that maybe if I ever am diagnosed it won’t be a death sentence. And who knows for your friend? She’s gone a long time without a recurrence so chances are her cancer isn’t moving quickly. I’m betting she’ll have a great response to treatment and can just carry on. Hopefully for decades. Or until that cure comes.
And this isn’t breast cancer but it still gives me hope so I’ll share. My aunt was diagnosed 2 and a half years ago with stage four melanoma. And her melanoma was all over the place. 11 years ago she would have been dead in two months. But 10 years ago or so an immunotherapy came out and that’s what they put her in immediately. It’s been a tough treatment process but she’s NED today. Granted no one knows how long it will last but there’s no reason to think it won’t last until she’s dead from old age. That’s the very real hope at any rate. And triple positive breast cancers now have the best cure rates because of the immunotherapy herceptin. 20 years ago, they and triple negative were the worst breast cancers to get. Triple negative has an immunotherapy now and they’re testing that same immunotherapy on hormone positive cancers. There’s just a lot of reasons not to give up, not to stop trying regardless of what stage you are in breast cancer world. So for your friend keep the hope alive. All’s not lost. And it certainly isn’t for you either. Congrats on 10 years. I hope to be able to say the same nine years from now ?
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