I’m 19 and female. I guess I just really need a place to rant to be honest.
My families had it really bad these last few years. My uncle died. My brother almost died after a stone in his appendix cut a whole in his stomache and infected his body. I was in and out of hospital with anxiety and breathing problems, now diagnosed with severe IBS and anxiety. My brother then revealed something that almost tore our family apart and drove my dad to depression. My grandad spent months in and out of hospital with a “male” problem. Then just before xmas my mum was diagnosed with BC, we were told it was only level 1.
She’s had her op and its been removed. We recieved her results on wednesday and it turns out that it’s level 3 and she going to have chemo, radio and then pills for 8 years.
I have an amazing family who are so supportive and lovely. It just doesn’t seem fair. We’re good people. Everytime the phone rings I expect it to be bad news, because it always seems to be.
It feels like my friends are moving on with their lives. Boyfriends, Uni and saving for morgages, always someone “cooler” to hang out with. My friends have been through a lot so we’ve always been there for eachother. But none of them have gone through a mother with BC or the situation with my brother and dad. I feel helpless.
I just want everything to go back to the way it used to be before all this. I love my mum and can’t imagine being here without her. She’s just an amazing strong person.
My daughter is a couple of years older than you,i know how devasated she and the rest of my family were when i was diagnosed.I had MX in may,finished chemo in november and rads a few weeks ago.
You will be a tower of strength for your mum,try not to worry too much hun.Good luck to mum and keep posting x
My daughter was 15 when I was first diagnosed… Iv since had BC twice more but I’m still here and don’t plan on going anywhere soon.
I have had my fair share of bad news and bit of a stressful life and I know my kids have had to live with this too… It’s been hard and they have had to live through more in their young lives than some people have to live through in a life time… My daughters life has been particularly stresseful including parental separation, learning disability, eating disorder, depression, sexual abuse, miscarriage, maternal cancer diagnosis and possibility of carrying a cancer causing gene and she’s not even turned 21 yet… Life has been hard but now she’s on antidepressants and I things seem to be getting a bit easier for her… Hopefully in time things will get easier for you too.
You poor darling it is very hard on you to cope with all the stress, but you sound a level headed girl and I am sure you will get through all of this in time. Your mum is going on the same journey as a lot of us have done so far and we are all here and stronger for it. I have 3 children mid twenties and they had to cope with my renal transplant, marriage break up and supported me through 3 abdominal operations over the last 3 1/2 year and now through Breast Cancer. They are all stars and since we talk everything over it makes it all so much easier to cope with and deal with each situation as it creeps up. Don’t lose heart, there are loads of lovely ladies on this site who will give you support and encouragement all the way.
I hate to have to say this Mini but your family seems pretty normal - it’s life that is the hard part as it comes with so many knocks at times that we really don’t need the test.
Be thankful that your family are lovely and supportive and now more than ever you will be glad about this. Be strong for your Mum and I am sure she is really glad and proud that you are her daughter.
Don’t worry about your friends lives - we never really know what goes on behind closed doors even if we think their lives seem to be so much better.
Your Mum will be there for you - as you say, she is an amazing strong person so I am sure that with your support and the rest of your family you will see this through just like my family is with me. I also was Grade 3 with chemo, rads and still on herceptin, but your Mum will come out the other side in time, and you will love one another all the more for being put to the ‘test’
I’m glad you had a rant & please keep ranting It does more harm than good keeping your feelings buried inside. You must feel that life has dealt you a really tough hand at the moment & that everything seems so unfair and so out of your control. But believe me you & your mum will come through this much stronger people and you will know the true value of life. You will find qualities within you that you never knew you had and your life will be so much more fulfilling in the long run. But the pay off is that you have to go through this trauma first. However you sound such a strong, caring & loving daughter and you have family and friends to support you. Don’t try and carry the load on your own. My daughter was 15 when I was diagnosed for the second time (she’s nearly 22 now) and as a mother all I wanted was for her to go out and enjoy herself and do normal teenage things. So just make sure your mum knows that you love her and ask her how she wants you to deal with this and take your cue from her. But make sure you leave time for yourself and the things you want to do. And finally find someone to talk to, maybe someone outside the family that you can offload your feelings to and keep ranting!!!
I’m so sorry that your Mum is going through this, I was first told my lump was ok and I had the choice whether to remove it and then it was grade one when I had the lumpectomy and kept moving up until I was grade 3. I had a mastectomy, chemo and rads two years ago and am on tablets for another 3 years.
Like your family we had one thing after another affecting our loved ones and at times I just wanted to scream out loud why us (and I often did, I was the loony in the car it you ever saw me.
We are now over two years on I’m going in for reconstruction and things are picking up for us, and I know 100% who mean the world to me and who I can rely on totally.
My advice to you all is, dont hold back the tears let them out when you need to, keep up your sense of humour believe me people will say and do some strange things and most of all keep talking. Use this site if you need to know more details there are lots of ladies who will share their experiences and its often the unknown thats the worst thing.
In addition to the support you have here please feel free to call our helpline, you and your Mum may find it helpful to call for further support and a ‘listening ear’. The lines are open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 9-2 on Saturdays on 0808 800 6000.
Sending you big hugs, both my partner and myself have had cancer and are now both 12 months and 18 months out horrible things happen but you get through it and adjust to a new normal. You are very young and have plenty of life for things to come good. Try talking to Macmillan or a FORCE Councillor they are trained and understand fully. I have found in life if you live in hope for good things then you usually get them dont let the bad over shaddow the good.
It does more harm than good keeping your feelings buried inside. You must feel that life has dealt you a really tough hand at the moment & that everything seems so unfair and so out of your control. But believe me you & your mum will come through this much stronger people and you will know the true value of life. You will find qualities within you that you never knew you had and your life will be so much more fulfilling in the long run. But the pay off is that you have to go through this trauma first. However you sound such a strong, caring & loving daughter and you have family and friends to support you. Don’t try and carry the load on your own. My daughter was 15 when I was diagnosed for the second time (she’s nearly 22 now) and as a mother all I wanted was for her to go out and enjoy herself and do normal teenage things. So just make sure your mum knows that you love her and ask her how she wants you to deal with this and take your cue from her. But make sure you leave time for yourself and the things you want to do. And finally find someone to talk to, maybe someone outside the family that you can offload your feelings to and keep ranting!!!