Hi Lady90
Sorry you’re here but also glad you’re here because this is the place where you hear the voices of experience, the ones who arent looking at theory and statistics but at what the whole thing FEELS like. Hospitals can be brilliant at dealing with the physical stuff but there is very little by way of emotional support, especially since most voluntary services closed down at the start of the pandemic, leaving just the online support.
First of all, the two week referral is standard NHS practice (I wish I’d known that when I was first facing breast cancer, then I wouldn’t have wasted time and money going private!!). I suspect the word URGENT is what has thrown you. Of course it’s urgent - the sooner you’re checked out, the better. But an urgent 2 week referral is no different from a 2 week referral, which is the NHS commitment. So a little bit of panic can be crossed out.
Lumps are a good indicator of potential breast cancer but 60 to 90% of breast lumps turn out to be benign. There are things called fibroadenomas (lumps of gristly tissue) as well as cysts. Fibroadenomas are harmless but often surgically removed ‘just in case’. I had one removed in my 30s. I didn’t get breast cancer till I was 67. The other thing is that pain isn’t usually associated with breast cancer tumours. So, rather than assuming you have cancer, consider the chances it might be just that you’re unlucky and have lumpy breasts as some women do. I think it’s also unusual to present with so many lumps. I had none (?) but they found two tumours nonetheless and I thought that was greedy!
I’m so sorry about your mum. Losing her that way must be agonising. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you have cancer yourself. My mum (now dead from a heart condition at 89) had breast cancer twice, as did two of her six sisters, but tests have shown that my breast cancer has no genetic links. I’d assumed I had a family history that made me more vulnerable but it wasn’t the case. So a genetic link isn’t inevitable.
None of this is going to reassure you - I’ve suffered with general anxiety and panic disorder as well as phobias all my life so I appreciate how hard it is NOT to worry. But it may give you moments to pause and think that there are alternatives. As Shi, one of the community champions, often says, you don’t have cancer until a health professional confirms it after tests. Sometimes it’s a quick process as the consultant may feel the qualities of a lump and know instinctively. Sometimes it’s a slow process, test after test. I went from “I don’t think you have anything to worry about to “you have Stage 3, with 2 tumours and heavy node involvement” over 4 weeks! You get used to it.
The fact is (and the membership of these forums backs this up), breast cancer is nowhere near as bad as we fear. Treatments have improved so much and the recovery rate is good. I tend to feel that, if I could get through it with all my anxieties, anyone can because, although it’s not a good experience, it is all manageable. The important thing right now is for you to get yourself into a cool, calm and collected bag of nerves. You need to be able to think straight so that, if you do get a breast cancer diagnosis, you can deal with everything that’s thrown at you. Focus on your emotional wellbeing for now. Do whatever makes you feel good or calmer. Mindfulness, meditation, running, baking… I used videos on YouTube by Progressive Hypnosis several times a day and they did help give me a break from high anxiety and changed my perspective. Also, consider ringing the nurses at the number above. I can’t overstate how brilliant they are. You may gain some reassurance and comfort.
I wish you all the best in whatever life is going to throw at you. Hope it’s not what you fear.
Jan x