Well it’s now just 24 hours till my appointment. I’m wide awake and have been a lot last night. I’m scared. The most I’ve ever been in my whole life. I’m just not feeling I’m going to come out of this well. You know sometimes when things are going wrong in your life, but there’s still a little hope in the back of your mind, well, I don’t even have that just now. Just shear fear and a lot of questions going on in my head. How will my daughters cope, will I be through the treatment in time for my wedding in October, how will we manage to live with me not working … And the questions carry on. I have no hope, no positivity and that’s so not me. This in itself I see as a sign. A sign that all is not well. A sore breast one side and a lump in the other. I’m dreading these next two days. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I can only hope that for the majority of us that things are ok. This experience has changed me forever and I swear that I will help everyone as much as I can. I’m great at supporting others, just useless with myself xx
Hello Dizmoo
I am sorry to read that you are feeling so low, please feel free to call our helpliners for some practical and emotional support. Call are free and lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays on 0808 800 6000.
With best wishes
June, moderator
Hey dizmoo. I totally feel your emotions. 24 hours ago I was right where you are and look now.
You’re right about changing your outlook, it makes you appreciate and realise the things that really matter.
I’m not going to say stay don’t worry because I know you can’t help it.
All I will say is pain is generally a good thing. I knew it but wouldn’t believe it and was told it again at the clinic.
You will get through this. Whatever the outcome. You will do this.
Sending you so much love and hugs xxx
Aww Dizmoo I’m so sorry you are feeling so worried right now xxx my appointment is today and can’t say I’m not nervous but I will b glad when it’s over so I can stop the niggling doubts that I have and move forward x I googled all sorts and met myself coming backwards and just thought this is pointless worrying myself as I won’t know anything till they check it out x try and stay positive and all the best for tomorrow xxxx