31yrs with a newborn and just diagnosed

Hi, I’m new to this. Im 31 yrs old with an 11 week old baby who im still breastfeeding. 3 days ago I was diagnosed with grade 3 IDC. Ultrasound showed 1 node abnormal but I’m awaiting the results. I keep wondering how the best moment of my life can be followed by the worst. I’m so scared of getting results and further tests and petrified that’s it’s spread and that the doctors will say there’s nothing they can do. I think it’s the wait thats the worse and once I have a treatment plan I’ll fight this as my daughter needs me.

I am so sorry to hear this. I am alot older and my children are adults so I can only guess at your anguish. By answering it will “bump” this to the top and hopefully you will hear from others in a similar position.
Hugs xxxx

Hiya. I am a bit older than you at 38 but was diagnosed at 36. I have had my treatment and am now just in hormone therapy. I don’t know if you are on Facebook but I belong to a group on there where there are other young mums in your position. If you search for younger breast cancer network you should find us. It’s an invite only private group so anything we talk about cant be seen by otherS. I have found it a great source of support. Feel free to come and join us. If you can’t find the group let me know.
I know this is a scary time and its shitty news. We are here to virtually hold your hand.

I’m so sorry you find yourself here, but I promise you’ll get lots of support. There’s also a facebook page which was started by a regular poster on this site. There are quite a few ladies in your position, some have undergone chemotherapy during pregnancy. You need to like the page and then send a PM to admin and they’ll add you to the secret group, i’m sure you’ll get a lot of support there.
Take care

Hiya PST, sorry you have found yourself here, can i reccommend an amazing group on facebook called younger breast cancer network uk, it will be of great support to you and there are lots of ladies with new borns and young children to offer you help and support, hope to see you there xx

hi pst if u would like to add meon fb i can see if i can help you i have 8 kids 41 and goin thro it twice about to find out when i start chemo again so if u message me and would like to add me let me no xxx it will be ok xx

also there is a link to a younger woman group which i am on also and they have helped me xx

Hi there, so sorry you are going through this. I was diagnosed in December whilst 12 weeks pregnant i too had grade 3 invasive ductile with node involvement. I had a mastectomy end of december and node clearance i had 26 removed and one tested positive. I then started chemo in January whilst pregnant and have just finished my last chemo. I have a healthy little boy as i gave birth through treatment he will be 10 weeks old on Tuesday so i know exactly how you are feeling. I belong to a fab younger womens facebook group where i get lots of support and help. There are also people who have been in the same situation with babies. If you search for younger breast cancer network and send a message giving diagnosis etc the admin team will add you to the group.
hope you are ok xxxxxx


Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, and as you will already have realised the users of these forums are brilliant at giving each other support and have a lot of knowledge and experience between them.

I have put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications you might find helpful, also our helpline team are just a free phone call away if there’s anything you need to ask or just want a good listening ear. 0808 800 6000, lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 10-2



Take care,

Jo, Facilitator

I have not got any kids, but was diagnosed in April at 32. Like you say it is very overwhelming to think what we have to go through when we should be in our peak. The waiting is the worst, but once you get your treatment plan you can start moving foward and on the journey to a fresh start.
I have found this site really helpful. I have joined a chemo thread for those of us who started this month, as it is great sense of support.
Please feel free to private message me if you want to talk further.
Take Care

Hi, im not sure if i was ever going to post but i felt i had to reply to you as our situations are quite similar.
im 27 and have just been diagnosed, i have a 10 month old little girl. i was still breastfeeding up untill 3 weeks ago when i got my diagnosis.
im having a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, followed by chemo and radiotherapy. I am just about to start taking tamoxifen (dreading it)
i am petrified to be honest but my daughter is getting me through this.
i hope you have alot of people around to help you out, im a bit of a control freak but im gradually finding it easier to let people help me more!
good luck x

Hi there.
I saw your post and I felt for you. Diagnosed at age of 39.
Sending you big hugs.
Take careand all the best with your treatments

Hi there, that must be tough and wish you well. It’s hard enough finding your feet as a new mum without dealing with this too! I’ve recently been diagnose with DCIS and Ann having a double mastectomy next week. Am absolutely petrified about it as need implants and worried about numbness. I have two young daughters, 3 & 1/2 and 1 & 1/2. My 1 year old always wants cuddles so am dreading not being able to offer cuddles…or feel them after I’m recovered. It sucks but I guess it’s better to have discovered this and be able to hopefully put it behind you than live in blissful ignorance. My mum had bilateral breast cancer once at 49 and again at 58. She is a great inspiration as she had invasive grade 2 & grade 3 and is fit, healty, beautiful and well. She says breast cancer has really changed her life for the better as she has totally reevaluated her life, retired early etc. Her saying that is keeping me going, this is jut a blip and we can all lead long, happier life’s afterwards


Hi I was diagnosed last month. Im 39, have a 4 year old and a nine month old. I had to have a mastectomy and full lymph node clearance 3 weeks ago. I know it may sound vain but losing my boob was heartbreaking as I had a good set on me!!!
However knowing that it was riddled with cancer has soon put paid to me mourning it. It was in 12/16 lymph nodes so that has really scared me. Like everyone there are good and bad days. The pendulum swings from determination to despair and back again several times a day.

I start chemo next Monday and then have to be on herceptin for a year.
Still keep thinking they will tell me they made a mistake. I never even contemplated cancer before this. Im a fit, non smoking vegetarian so how this has happened I really dont know but feel very much like my own body has betrayed me.
You just have to take one day and one appointment at a time otherwise it overwhelms you.

I am in exactly the same situation as you, but just a little bit further on. I am 31 and was diagnosed with grade 3 IDC in February this year, one week after my daughter was born. I’ve now had chemotherapy and a mastectomy, next is reconstruction and radiotherapy.
Just take it one day at a time. Not only will you have the shock of your diagnosis, but all your post pregnancy hormones will be mixed in there too. Your daughter does need you, but her smiles will keep you strong.
Let us know how you get on.

Hi ladies, I have found the younger breast cancer network on FB, is this the right one??? I have liked the page but saw no options for chatting etc, I am 42, my first chemo session is today at 2pm xx

Hi PST I am 34 mum to 7yr old and 3 yr old and was diagnosed 4 weeks ago then had mastectomy and recon 3 weeks ago. Due to have full nde clearance in next 2 weeks.
i am from Manchester as would love to join any groups locally with other young women!
loving these forums thoigh, it’s times liktosh is that we all need to share success stories and encouragement!
good luck, you are stronger than you think! X

If you search for Younger breast cancer network on face book you will find the main public page. Once there send a private message through to the grp giving some brief info about yourself. One of the admins will pick it up and add you to the grp. We add people through the messaging service not the main page.
we are not far off 500 hundred members now all around the country, some are pregnant and some have had babies while on chemo, others found out just after they gave birth.
I can see lots of women on this thread recommending the grp which is great. Please feel free to join if you want to.

Claire Ive just sent you a priavte message let me know if you get it
Im a manc too live near trafford centre.
I start chemo on monday some at chrsites some at salford royal
if you pm me i can give you my mobile and perhaps meet up. Im 39